Timestamp: 30th of Zida, 721
Location: Peytr's Pots and Potions
"Mehehehehe."
Cad was trying to keep a low profile. His villainous costume, complete with what would one day become a trademarked mask, was a pretty ostentatious thing to wear around the middle of town, and as such he had to do his best not to draw too much attention to himself. That was why he was forced to reign in his evil laugh to more of an evil chuckle, much as it pained him to do so. Evil laughs were supposed to be loud and proud, not timid little mouse-squeaks.
The afternoon sun was starting to set on the horizon, casting a number of convenient shadows for Cad and his gang of miscreant minions to hide in as they made their way through the streets. A few nights ago the inspiration for a brilliant evil scheme had formed in Cad's head, and after a little bit of research he'd concluded that it was indeed possible for him to pull it off with his current budget and minions. The only little snag was that this plan required a special item that Cad was having trouble getting his hands on: a rare and expensive ingredient, that he discovered was in the possession of the owner of Peytr's Pots and Potions.
While he could have bit the bullet and just bought it outright, what was the point of being a villain if he didn't commit any crimes to get what he wanted? It was this line of thought that had led Cad and his gang to their current situation: ducking in an alleyway across the road from the target store. Mutiny, his new ever-present lieutenant, stood at his side as Cad addressed his small cohort of criminals.
"Remember the plan. Half of you guard the door outside, and the other half come inside with me and ransack the place. If you find a vial of dark blue liquid bring it to me immediately. Anything else you find is yours to keep."
The assembled criminals grinned wickedly in anticipation.
"Also don't forget to keep your masks on and to only address each other by codenames. Any questions?"
One of the criminals put his hands up.
"Yes Toby?" Cad asked.
"Why is my codename the same as my real name?" Toby asked.
"It's reverse psychology. Once they find out that we're all using codenames, they'll immediately assume that you can't be the masked criminal known only as Toby precisely because your real name is Toby. It's genius!"
The group murmed in approval at Cad's cunning. Cad didn't blame them. Sometimes he amazed himself with his own brilliance.
"Now then, let's get started. Minions! Attack!" Cad commanded, sweeping his hand dramatically towards the store.
Hold on!"
The group paused mid-charge, and turned to look at one of the men at the back of the group.
"I object to that term." The minion said. "Minions makes us sound like we're just your disposable servants."
"But you are my disposable servants." Cad replied sagely, then realised his mistake as the rest of the minions turned to glare at him. Quickly he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. What should I call you then?"
"How about henchmen?" Another of the criminals suggested.
"Excuse me, we're an equal opportunities group. I don't want to be referred to as a henchman." One of the women said.
"How about henchwomen then?"
"Can't we just use a gender neutral term? Like henchpeople?"
"Never! I insist that the word have a dramatic ring to it." Cad argued.
"How about employees then?" The woman from earlier asked.
No, because that would imply that he was paying them, which he wasn't. Besides it made him sound more like some strangely dressed bank manager rather than a villain. "How about thralls? Peons? Lackeys?" He suggested.
A chorus of boos soon let him know what they thought of that idea.
"Alright, alright, keep your hair on." Cad grumbled. He knew it was a bad idea holding that evil minions union meeting beforehand. "How about we make our own term then? I shall call you..." He flicked his cape back dramatically. "The Revellers!"
"But boss, won't that give away a clue as to your secret identity?" Toby asked.
"Quiet Toby! No it won't, for once again I am cunningly employing reverse psychology. Nobody would ever suspect that a supervillain would name his minions after his own secret identity, which is exactly why I will! It's hiding in audacity! Now enough of this foolishness! Cad turned around and pointed to Peytr's Pots and Potions once more. "Revellers! Attack!"
With an approving roar the Revellers charged forwards; ten taking threatening positions outside the store, while Mutiny and the remain ten followed Cad inside. They brandished their weapons, snarling and chuckling threateningly, while Cad strode forwards to the store owner and grinned wickedly beneath his mask.
"Good evening Mrs Lovan." He said with mock gentility. "We're here to make a purchase. And we'll be expecting a steep disocunt. Mwahahahahahaha!
Now that was how an evil laugh was supposed to be done.
Cad was trying to keep a low profile. His villainous costume, complete with what would one day become a trademarked mask, was a pretty ostentatious thing to wear around the middle of town, and as such he had to do his best not to draw too much attention to himself. That was why he was forced to reign in his evil laugh to more of an evil chuckle, much as it pained him to do so. Evil laughs were supposed to be loud and proud, not timid little mouse-squeaks.
The afternoon sun was starting to set on the horizon, casting a number of convenient shadows for Cad and his gang of miscreant minions to hide in as they made their way through the streets. A few nights ago the inspiration for a brilliant evil scheme had formed in Cad's head, and after a little bit of research he'd concluded that it was indeed possible for him to pull it off with his current budget and minions. The only little snag was that this plan required a special item that Cad was having trouble getting his hands on: a rare and expensive ingredient, that he discovered was in the possession of the owner of Peytr's Pots and Potions.
While he could have bit the bullet and just bought it outright, what was the point of being a villain if he didn't commit any crimes to get what he wanted? It was this line of thought that had led Cad and his gang to their current situation: ducking in an alleyway across the road from the target store. Mutiny, his new ever-present lieutenant, stood at his side as Cad addressed his small cohort of criminals.
"Remember the plan. Half of you guard the door outside, and the other half come inside with me and ransack the place. If you find a vial of dark blue liquid bring it to me immediately. Anything else you find is yours to keep."
The assembled criminals grinned wickedly in anticipation.
"Also don't forget to keep your masks on and to only address each other by codenames. Any questions?"
One of the criminals put his hands up.
"Yes Toby?" Cad asked.
"Why is my codename the same as my real name?" Toby asked.
"It's reverse psychology. Once they find out that we're all using codenames, they'll immediately assume that you can't be the masked criminal known only as Toby precisely because your real name is Toby. It's genius!"
The group murmed in approval at Cad's cunning. Cad didn't blame them. Sometimes he amazed himself with his own brilliance.
"Now then, let's get started. Minions! Attack!" Cad commanded, sweeping his hand dramatically towards the store.
Hold on!"
The group paused mid-charge, and turned to look at one of the men at the back of the group.
"I object to that term." The minion said. "Minions makes us sound like we're just your disposable servants."
"But you are my disposable servants." Cad replied sagely, then realised his mistake as the rest of the minions turned to glare at him. Quickly he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. What should I call you then?"
"How about henchmen?" Another of the criminals suggested.
"Excuse me, we're an equal opportunities group. I don't want to be referred to as a henchman." One of the women said.
"How about henchwomen then?"
"Can't we just use a gender neutral term? Like henchpeople?"
"Never! I insist that the word have a dramatic ring to it." Cad argued.
"How about employees then?" The woman from earlier asked.
No, because that would imply that he was paying them, which he wasn't. Besides it made him sound more like some strangely dressed bank manager rather than a villain. "How about thralls? Peons? Lackeys?" He suggested.
A chorus of boos soon let him know what they thought of that idea.
"Alright, alright, keep your hair on." Cad grumbled. He knew it was a bad idea holding that evil minions union meeting beforehand. "How about we make our own term then? I shall call you..." He flicked his cape back dramatically. "The Revellers!"
"But boss, won't that give away a clue as to your secret identity?" Toby asked.
"Quiet Toby! No it won't, for once again I am cunningly employing reverse psychology. Nobody would ever suspect that a supervillain would name his minions after his own secret identity, which is exactly why I will! It's hiding in audacity! Now enough of this foolishness! Cad turned around and pointed to Peytr's Pots and Potions once more. "Revellers! Attack!"
With an approving roar the Revellers charged forwards; ten taking threatening positions outside the store, while Mutiny and the remain ten followed Cad inside. They brandished their weapons, snarling and chuckling threateningly, while Cad strode forwards to the store owner and grinned wickedly beneath his mask.
"Good evening Mrs Lovan." He said with mock gentility. "We're here to make a purchase. And we'll be expecting a steep disocunt. Mwahahahahahaha!
Now that was how an evil laugh was supposed to be done.

