It's Just a Little Cough

Cierne catches wind of a sickness at Everton's. She rushes there only to find that her attempts at helping are futile. The only thing she can do is wait for the doctor's opinion, but the news she hears later that night is nothing short of horrific.

18th of Zi'da 720

Most shops, parlors, workshops, and other businesses are found here, as well as the homes of those wealthy who are not of royal title. Guilds bleed the citizens dry of coin through taxes and fees. Trade is limited in Quacia, and supplies can be expensive.
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Cierne
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Posts: 118
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2020 12:58 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Bartender
Renown: 40
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It's Just a Little Cough

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18th of Zi'da, Arc 720

Cierne rushed to gather the most essential of belongings. Her heart was beating out of her chest in anticipation, but it was not the kind of anticipation someone would experience receiving a surprise birthday gift. No, this anticipation was much worse.

She had caught word of a sickness sweeping the unofficial wayward home for troubled youths that Everton ran. Meinz had told her, believe it or not, and while Cierne knew the spirit liked to mess with her at the most inconvenient times, what she had said was true this time.

The Naer threw a pair of extra undergarments in her knapsack along with her camping knife, a second pair of socks and a couple blankets just in case she would need them. She had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she was missing something crucial but she couldn’t dwell on it for more than a moment. She needed to see the children and Everton now. If she forgot something, she would deal; there were more important things at stake.

She hoisted the knapsack over her head and let it rest across her shoulder as she burst out of her tent. She almost forgot to close the tent flap in the process and couldn’t be bothered to zip it up all the way. Meinz would return for the night and she would do it for her, or so she could only hope.

Cierne’s strides were monumental as she hustled through the city streets. She was careful to avoid any trash heaps that hindered her path, having gotten a better sense of the layout of the city during her time being here.

She maneuvered around the corner of a building with extreme speed, clipping it as she did. Cursing to herself with the knowledge that she would find a bruise on her side the next day, she continued with her breakneck pace.

She finally arrived at the house in record time, gasping for breath. She only took a moment to regain her bearings before throwing open the front door and coming to a halt in front of her mentor.

“Is anyone sick?” She cried, wild strands of hair sticking to various spots on her face.

Everton stood slightly shorter than he normally did, hunching his back with what Cierne assumed was remorse. It weighed on him like the responsibilities he was always taking upon himself.

He removed his glasses from their perch on his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. He needn’t say anything; his actions spoke louder than any words possibly could have.

She darted past him towards the girl’s room, throwing the door open with a great ferocity.

Instead of the room that housed just the girls, everyone seemed to have piled inside leaving barely any breathing room for Cierne and her erratic inhales. The claustrophobic atmosphere did nothing to help her breathe.

The room had only two beds, and they positioned on their respective sides against opposite walls; they were both occupied. To the left lay Sezyn, a cold press resting gently on his forehead and to the left was Laina, enduring a coughing fit that sounded like it would rip through her chest if she didn’t find something to stop it.

“Oh my gods,” Cierne breathed, blinking her eyes rapidly as though by doing so, the images before her would disappear and be replaced by better ones.

Everton swiftly came in from behind her and placed a tender hand on her shoulder.

“To answer your question, yes,” he said, his eyes downcast and filled with despair. Cierne could hardly look at him; she couldn’t bear to see him like this.

“How long?” she inquired.

Everton looked at her curiously. When he didn’t answer immediately, she raised her voice and repeated the question.

“How long, Everton!”

Her mentor relinquished his gentle hold on Cierne’s shoulder and took a small step back. “It just started lack night.”

Cierne dropped her knapsack, letting it fall to the floor with an echoing thud. She rushed to the side of Laina and crouched down so that she was eye level with her. She had finally stopped coughing, but a thin sheen of sweat coated her brow, her face red and her eyes swollen.

Laina turned to her unofficial sister with eyes the size of saucers. “I’m scared Cee,” she said, barely a whisper.

Cierne bit her lip and quickly tasted blood. Her heart broke a little inside. She was horrified at the current state Laina was in. While she wasn’t one to be overly compassionate or interested in the welfare of others, the children of the home were different, especially sweet Laina. She was just a child after all. She was innocent and pure, and as Cierne’s thoughts often travelled down the tunnel into darkness, she couldn’t help but think to herself, ‘she still has so much to live for’.

The Naer mentally shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of her negative train of thought. She would not think about something so terrible if it had yet to happen. She was sure that by even thinking such atrocious things, it would give them a greater chance of coming true.

Cierne rested her hand on top of Laina’s stomach, which was covered in a multitude of heavy blankets. She gazed into the trembling girl’s wide eyes and began willing for an accumulation of ether.

She reached inside the ailing girl’s mind and began to prod for the particular thread she was searching for. She would not let Laina be plagued with such fear.

Cierne closed her eyes and desperately tried to focus on the beating of her own heart; it would serve as a form of ticking pendulum for her to concentrate on. She attempted to focus like this for a while, but her worries outperformed and thus diverted her attention. Nevertheless she persisted and gradually extracted a thread of fear from Laina’s mind. She began weaving a lattice designed to prevent new threads of fear from being formed all while under Cierne’s inept control. Her intention was to block the child’s fear.

In an addition to the use of her empathy, she began to distract the child, hoping that in doing so it would be easier for her magic to take effect as she wished.

“Hey Laina,” she began, her voice holding a slight quiver. “You still have to show me that drawing you promised, remember?”

Laina furrowed her brows and she attempted to concentrate on Cierne’s words. “It’s not done yet,” she said softly. Tears were welling up in her crystal blue orbs.

Cierne still had so much practice to be more advanced with her empathy, and this was made apparent by how little control she had at keeping the girl’s trepidation at bay.

“That’s what I’m saying, silly,” she continued, clearing her throat of its quivering. “You have to finish it so I can see it.”

Suddenly Everton swept her away, entangling her arm with his own.

“Please don’t get too close,” he told her once they were standing just outside the door to the bedroom. “I don’t want you to catch what they have.”

Cierne looked up at him, her vision blurred with tears. “Have you asked for a doctor?” She inquired a little too harshly.

Everton sighed. “I have.”

“And?”

“They will be here later today.”

Cierne wrung her hands, her nerves getting the best of her. Why couldn’t she calm her rampant breathing and frantic heart rate? Why was this happening?

“Then I will stay until they get here,” she announced, nodding to herself as a form of self-reassurance.

Everton sighed again. It was really getting on her nerves how he wasn’t even trying to mask his worry, even for the sake of Sezyn and Laina.

“You should go back to your tent,” he instructed.

Cierne’s eyes went wide. “What?” She cried, incredulous. “I’m not leaving-“

“I want you away from the sickness in this house!” He shouted, earning the stares every child that occupied the bedroom. Even Sezyn who had been lying motionless with his eyes closed was looking with surprise at Everton.

Her mentor bit his lip and lowered his voice. “Look, the doctor will be here and they will do what they can. I will let you know what they find. Until then, there isn’t anything you can do. And I don’t want another one of my children getting sick. I fear… I fear…”

Cierne let him trail off, she let his gaze explore the wall behind her blankly. She knew what he was going to say. He feared Laina and Sezyn wouldn’t be able to recuperate from whatever illness they had been exposed to.

Cierne herself felt very exposed. One of the few fears she had was having the people she loved most taken from her, and that very fear was being tested right now.

The Naer let her shoulders drop, a sweeping sense of depression overcoming her. What could she do? Aside from just sitting idly to the side and feeling utterly helpless, she could do nothing to help Laina and Sezyn. With a moment’s rumination, she finally conceded.

“Okay,” she said softly, a sheen of wetness blinding her vision.

“Okay?” Everton said, though it was more of a question seeing as how Cierne wasn’t usually one to back down even from her mentor.

“Okay.”

“I promise to let you know how things turn out and then, when it’s safe to come back, you can.”

Cierne went back into the room then so that she could retrieve her knapsack, and once she turned back to Everton, she gave him an unexpected but warm hug.

“Please let it be good news,” she whispered to him before letting go.

...

Unfortunately, later that evening when Cierne was restlessly pacing in her tent, unbeknownst to her, Sezyn passed, and Laina would forever be unable to walk.

To be continued...

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Re: It's Just a Little Cough

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Cierne

Experience: 10 no magic xp until your competent level up is approved.

Knowledge:

Intelligence x1
Empathy: Weaving a Lattice to Prevent New Threads of Fear From Forming
Empathy x3
Deception: Distracting a Child From Fearful Thoughts

Personal: Witnessing the Debilitating Effects of Sickness
Personal: Wanting to Help But Feeling Helpless (It’s Just a Cough)
Personal: Feels Compassion Towards the Children of the ‘Home’
Personal: Everton (NPC): Makes Rational Decisions Based on Everyone’s Best Interest

Renown: none

Skill Usage: Overplay of empathy. Otherwise good.

Loot/Losses: none

Injuries/Conditions: Moderate overstepping, you have sympathy pains with the child you tried to soothe, and will feel a small measure of her pain as she succumbs to whatever sickness has befallen her. This will last two to three days.

Consequences: Just as above in injuries.

Comments:


Heya Cierne, sorry for the lateness of this review.

To start, you referred to your ghost npc (I think) as a spirit. In Idalos, spirits and ghosts are quite separate in terms of nomenclature. A spirit is a thing of nature, while a ghost is a soul of a person who has lingered on. Just a minor point that I wanted to bring up.

Wow, what an emotionally powerful story. That Poor little girl and Cierne… The dialogue is very rich and believable between Cierne, Laina, and Meinz and Everton.

The ending was very sad, as one child passed, and another lost her ability to walk. It was all written very well and handled tastefully in my opinion.

You seemed to overstep into another use of competent technique here. Please, in the future, wait until your competent or expert or whatever skill level has been reviewed and approved before proceeding to use their abilities in subsequent solos.


If you have any concerns about this review, please PM me about them.
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