40th
Saun,
718
Saun,
718
Love will come
and when love comes
love will hold you
love will call your name
and you will melt
sometimes though
love will hurt you but
love will never mean to
love will play no games
cause love knows life
has been hard enough already
~~rupi kaur
She had decided, the trial before, that she was going to go to the Temple and pray. Last night, again, she had dreamed of the man, tall and pale of skin and he had asked her the same questions that he had asked every night since she woke up on the floor in the kitchen, her memories of the last three or four arcs gone.
"What are you searching for, Faith?"
This he had asked as she stood there, handkerchiefs flapping around her like butterflies and candles in each one, yet they did not burn up. They fluttered around her, all satin and beautiful and, for reasons she did not understand each one of them brought her heart wrenching grief. She didn't know, she told him, because she could not remember. He reached out and touched her cheek then smiled. Like they both knew it was a lie.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
She had told him, every night, that she wasn't waiting for anything, but last night in her sleep she had told him something different. She had told him the truth. "Faith. Faith seems to be what this slave is waiting for." He smiled at her sadly and shook his head like she was a silly, silly girl.
"Then why won't you say it?"
As the flame-filled but not burning kerchiefs fluttered around her, reminding her of the daughter she did not remember, the girl hung her head in shame. "This slave is afraid. Afraid of admitting that Faith is beyond me. Someone this slave can never be. Because she is who they love."
"They?"
It was like a knife, or a needle, incisor sharp and without mercy. Lifting her head, silver eyes regarded him miserably. "Him. She is who he loves."
When she woke, she had been crying in her sleep. Tears were still wet on her cheeks and yet, she did not know why she cried. Except, of course, she did
So, to-trial the girl had decided that she was going to go and find the Temple. The thing was, there was no Temple, Katie told her. There was the Lightning Cathedral to Ilaren and Katie was sure that she could go there. In the telling her that, Katie used the word "Faith" no less than four times, determined to bring home to the girl that she was Faith. Faith was her. And yet, Faith was a stranger to her.
The last memory the girl had before waking up on the floor in the house here was of being allowed to sleep on the floor in Athart. She had no name then, they didn't allow the slaves to have them and the girl had woken here with a name spoken to her by a stranger. And since then, Katie and Luna and Tina had used her name three times a sentence, it seemed.
But there was no Temple to Vri here and so the girl had come here, to a quiet spot on the land which Padraig told her was theirs. She and Cosmo had walked and the girl had been trying to get to the place where, just a few trials ago she and Padraig had fallen into a series of tunnels but, somehow, she had got all turned around. "It's very wide open space, Cosmo, isn't it?" The girl spoke, conversationally, to the dog who had not left her side since the moment Padraig had carried her upstairs, laying her on the bed and waiting for the healer to come along. Still, they were lost and the girl considered that the open space was strange, unusual to her. She didn't like it as much without him. When it had been the two of them, it had been less... open and overwhelming, she supposed.
She found a spot, though. The house was in the far distance, but she could see it, so she could get back and the girl knelt down, moving to the position she was most used to.
Then, the girl bowed her head and she began to pray. Ironically, it was in a way she did not really do so, usually but, of course, she didn't know that.
