• Graded • Wretch

Atop a stony plateau overlooking the lands of central Idalos, and growing wealthy from the gem stones pulled from the rocky soil, Etzos is a bastion of independence; firm in its belief that man should rule Idalos, not be servants of the vain Immortals who nearly destroyed it. But can the many factions set aside their conflicting agendas and see this through?

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Nightshade Eld
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Posts: 789
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 5:43 pm
Race: Mixed Race
Profession: The Best Hero
Renown: +460
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Wed May 23, 2018 12:21 pm

Vhalar 25th, 700

Her stomach clenched painfully as she tried to make sense of what was happened. Her father tutted quietly and shook his head as he ran a hand down her back. She was currently kneeling in front of a window as she emptied the contents of her stomach against her will. Not that she would have complained if the pain had started to ebb. If anything, though, she had begun to feel even worse for it. Her body was shivering badly, almost to the point where they were convulsions. Her entire head felt as though it was spinning. “Oh, poor little raven,” her father cooed as he continued to stroke her back in a comforting motion.

She shivered again, this time even harder as another wave of crippling pain hit her right in the stomach. Her stomach heaved but the only thing that came out this time was stomach acid which burned her throat as she spit. She gagged a couple times as her body tried to force out the toxins, but the damage was done. The pain only seemed to get worse and worse the longer she had to deal with it. Trying to ignore it didn’t help much either since it was so forefront, so unbearably strong in nature. It hurt so badly she almost wanted to let herself fall out the window if only to hurt less or hurt in a different kind of way.

The half-breed could take other kinds of pain like broken limbs or cuts. Those were a different pain altogether and ultimately, they were a touch easier to ignore. The half-breed would have easily been over it by now if such a pain were what she had to deal with. But this? This was a different kind of pain altogether. It was deep and affected her at the very root of her being. She never liked stomachaches, she never liked headaches, she never liked any kind of pain that felt internal. External pain was so much less painful if that made any kind of sense. Internal pain, it was deep and throbbing and most often inflicted by the body itself for reason unknown. It hit someone at the core of their being and demanded attention.

External pain could eventually be ignored as it ebbed quicker, the nerves growing used to the damage. Not to mention it was easier to get medicine for something external. Ointments and bandages were the best option and they were easier for the half-breed and her father to get ahold of then anti-toxin. This was a different kind of case thanks to the fact it was likely poisoning of some kind.

“Food poisoning I’m willing to bet,” her father muttered under his breath as he continued to stroke the woman on the back. He’d been trying to diagnose her condition all night and it was starting to get into the early hours of the morning. She had classes! She’d be punished for sure if she didn’t pull herself together and get to them on time. Even if she had to suffer through the class. Another dry heave destroyed her train of thought and she found herself quietly whimpering.

“Easy little Raven, hurting yourself worse won’t do any of us any good,” her father said. He was having very little luck with the diagnosis since apparently, he had no experience with medicines or poisons. “Oh, if only your mother was still around. She was so much better at this than I ever was let alone will be. I don’t think I would have lived without her expertise. She would have had you fixed up and sleeping soundly in no time,” his voice was both desperate and mournful, there was panic obvious enough in his eyes. He didn’t know what to do, he was uncertain of how to help his poor child.

Nightshade felt a fresh wash of pain running through her body. She wanted to just be able to shake her head and for the sensation to be gone, but fate wasn’t that kind. How could a child handle poisoning other than to sit there and whimper in pain until it passed? “Come on, try to sleep beloved?” The avriel said as he picked up his child, pulling her away from the window and placing her into his own bed. The worry on his brow didn’t help her feel any better.

“Am I gonna die?” She asked quietly in a voice full of fear and hesitance. There was fear in her gaze and she wanted to throw up even more as a foul taste lingered in her mouth.

“Of course not my precious, you’re going to be fine. You’re just going to sick for a little while. You’ll be right as rain by morning,” he lied down next to the small girl as he spoke, cradling her in his arms as he did his best to provide comfort. His movements were hesitant and unsure, and most obvious of all not fit for an avriel. He wasn't sure what to do with his wings and he was trying his best not to claw the small child with the daggers on his hands.

Eventually, he settled on curling one of his wings over the child while he allowed the second to hang off of the bed. The half-breed was still shivering but she felt safer with her father curling his wing around her. Maybe he couldn’t protect her from this, but she still felt better just having him around. She couldn’t shake the pain but at least it grew quieter ever so slightly as the breaks progressed. It was a grinding pace though and she found herself to be unable to fall asleep. Such a task should prove an impossibly.

She was whimpering and groaning constantly and she could feel the guilt radiating off of her father. Life would have been better if her mother was alive. Life would have been so much better for both of them. But there was no changing to past. Things were how they were, and now she and her father had to make due. They would make it out of this, eventually, but for now, the half-breed whimpered out her pains in short and choppy breaths as she tried to focus on anything but the excruciating torment that just existing caused her. She could feel it slowly creeping through her body, having started way up in her stomach and slowly having moved throughout her entire body.

It truly was torturous how the pain had started off so small, just a mild annoyance at best, and had grown until it was almost a crippling sensation of pain that curled around in her abdomen and squeezed every nerve in her body. Occasionally she would cry out, her whimpers escalating as the pain did, before falling into a deathly silence. She just wanted sleep, something that would release her from the sensation. Sleep would be preferable but death was also an option. Anything to make the pain stop. Anything.

There was a knock at the door and the half-breed cracked open her eyes. Through her father’s feathers, she could see glimmers of sunlight. Was it already morning? The pain still hadn’t stopped. It hadn’t even begun to ebb. It was as strong and as prevalent as it had been during the nighttime breaks. Her father got up, removing his wing from its cover across her body. She felt extremely cold but her entire body was covered in sweat. The shivering got violent for a moment.

“What?” Her father asked as he opened the door. His voice sounded upset, and she could only imagine how angry his face looked.

“The master says there will be no need for the young miss to attend her classes today. He sends this and his regards, as well as encourages the young miss not to fail anymore of her tests in the future,” the man who was on the other side of the door said. Holding a vial towards her father as she gave a curt bow. Her voice quivered with fear even though she tried to keep it calm and impassive. From her position Night could see the liquid in the vial shaking, and she knew the maid herself was shaking. After all, she’d just revealed what this was and how it’d happened.

“That old bastard poisoned my child because she failed a test? She’s seven!” The purebred avriel roared. His voice came to a screech and Night could hear the Lorien accent coming out as he spoke. She shivered and hid under her own wings. Hearing him raise his voice like that made her head hurt. “Where does that sick old dick get off harming my child because she isn’t good enough for him? That wasn’t part of our deal! I’ll be having a word with im later, thank you for your delivery,” he told the made. His ‘thank you’ was a venomous and sarcastic sneer as though he was blaming the maid for everything. But it was obvious enough he was just frustrated and shooting at the messenger.

He took the vial and slammed the door as the maid was fleeing. The half-breed looked up at his approach, looking at him through a feverish gaze. “Open up, my dearest. You need to drink this. I’ll make you feel better… hopefully,” he said. He didn’t know if the man was trying to poisoner her worse, but at the very least if he wasn’t she’d get a little relief.

The half-breed weakly took the vile and drank it, ignoring the highly bitter taste. She sat their uselessly after drinking it, waiting for it to kick in. Eventually it did and the moment she was in little enough pain to handle it she fell asleep.

word count: 1671
Common ~ Ith'Ession ~ Lorien
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Doran Cooney
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Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2016 8:10 am
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Tue May 29, 2018 5:39 am

Nightshade Eld
Endurance: Different kinds of pain
Medicine: Poisons typically have cures
Resistance: Food poisoning
Resistance: Throwing up doesn’t help
Resistance: Shivers
Resistance: Convulsions

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Renown: N/A

Points 10
Bleh. Very good description of what I was convinced was food poisoning until the little twist at the end! You had a lot of really effective reiteration and repeated descriptions that helped to drive in Night's feelings to the reader, and there was just enough story at the end that it felt really nice and whole as a thread. Poor maid, I feel for her haha.
Please edit your grade request, thank you!
word count: 117
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