Bowman's First Day

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Goku
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Posts: 157
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:02 pm
Race: Mixed Race
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Bowman's First Day

Ashan 39 721
At long last Goku decided to do something about the bow that had been collecting dust for so very long. He took the bow in his hands and hurried out of his home and doubled back five minutes later when he realized he forgot the quiver and arrows that was hidden on the other side of his house. Goku made his way cumbersomely through the streets because he did not know how to properly hold a bow or strap on the quiver. Goku thought “I definitely could have picked a better time of day to go to the proving grounds.” Just leaving an hour earlier would have been sufficient to avoid all the big crowds.

Goku thought to the lesson notice he had seen the other day when he got his groceries after some training with Roshi. It said to gather towards the southern side where targets would be set up. It’d also listed a small fee that students were supposed to pay at each lesson. Goku thanked the powers that be for having loose change in his pocket because he forgot about payment until he got to the right spot and the instructor held out a hand expectantly. If he’d had to go home he would have just called it quits for the day.

Goku stood around while more students arrived. There were only three in total, including himself. The instructor looked around clearly annoyed that nobody else decided to show up. He said “I’ve had low attendance ever since the wave of cold came through. I would like to take a moment to thank you lot for showing up. I see two familiar faces and one new one. My name is Ivan and my profession is hunting. Mind introducing yourself newcomer?”

Goku stepped forward to say “I am Goku. I have never so much as held an arrow in my hand let alone fired a weapon like this.”

The instructor said “what about your profession? Do you do anything that would build up the back and arm muscles? How about sports, play any of those?”

Goku did not know whether his work would be considered good enough to build muscles for shooting a bow. He decided to be safe and shook his head. “Nothing that I think might help.”

The instructor pushed some targets around for the other two students and pushed Goku’s target much further away from the other student’s targets so that the only thing Goku could possibly hit would be sand when he inevitably missed.

“Okay Goku come over here and let me explain some basics. For starters you have to string your bow but that makes for an awfully boring lesson. I’ll do it up for you this time and I’ll teach you the basic stance and how to hold it.” The instructor took out the string from a pouch in Goku’s quiver and put the appropriate tension on the bow to help attach the string. Goku paid close attention but he doubted he would be able to replicate the act.

“Here, hold this,” Ivan continued. “Do it like so. Keep your back straight and arm out with a slight bend. Then I want you to hold the string with your free hand.” Ivan helped Goku assume a decent pose and made minor adjustments to help Goku get the basic form down. “There. Practice getting into and out of that form. The main thing with archery is consistency so being able to replicate movements is key. All the strength and endurance in the world won’t help if you can’t hit anything.” Ivan patted Goku on the back and then went on to give attention to some of the other students.

Goku held the bow like he had been shown for half a minute before his arm started to burn from the strain. He did not think it would be so cumbersome to hold a bow especially since it was a shortbow and much lighter than some of the other bows he’d seen in his lifetime. “I don’t think there’s any job that could have made this easier,” he said thinking that holding something out at arms length was about the least efficient way of carrying weight.

After only five minutes of assuming the demonstrated position and dropping out of it over and over again Goku started to get annoyed. He thought “did I really pay money to get told to stand here and hold a bow? I could have gotten a library book to show me this much. I could do this at home! Why am I wasting time here?” He continued for five more minutes and decided that he’d had enough. His arms burned enough already.

“Hurts don’t it?” Ivan said when he circled back around to help Goku with his needs.

Goku frowned and said “It hurts a whole lot more than it should. I’m trying not to get too caught up on it because I’m sure it will get easier with time.”

Ivan laughed openly and helped Goku get into the pose again while making some minute adjustments. “It sure does get easier. If you’re feeling tired it may be best to go home and practice on your own for a bit. Also make sure you get someone to help check your pose or glance at a reflective surface. It’s easy to get lazy on accident.”

Goku set the bow down and stretched out his arm. His shoulder and back were starting to hurt too. “I think I should quit now then.” He had the capability to go on but he was too annoyed to push through the pain. Not even his sword lesson had been this draining on his willpower.

“Not to worry. Here let me show you how to string the bow. You can practice this a bit in your free time as well. Or if you don’t feel confident enough just bring it to the next lesson. I don’t want you to snap the string or the bow and injure yourself.” Ivan took the string off and put it back on and removed it again. He did all of the steps slowly so Goku could see what was being done but Goku still did not feel confident in himself.

Goku gave his thanks and took his gear back home with him. “I should have asked how to do up the quiver,” he thought when he was already too far to want to be bothered going back. He dropped his things off at home and decided to cool off with an evening at a tavern.

Goku walked into a prominent tavern and stared around. It was as lively as a bar could get and not a single seat to be had. ”Fine, I’ll stand then,[he thought as he stood against a wall and slumped a little. He ordered a drink and massaged his arm in the meantime. He knew his fatigue was associated with what he had just done, but he wasn’t sure why it had made him so tired. ”At least I had the sense to stop before I pulled a muscle.” Looking around, Goku tried to spot a woman that was free to talk to. Unfortunately all of the people he was attracted to were busy chatting with people.

Goku spent about thirty minutes simply looking around the bar and casually sipping on his drink until he figured it was best to head home. He hadn’t mustered the courage to talk to anyone even with the heavy buzz he felt from the alcohol. Goku’s vision was so blurred that he did not even notice he’d walked into someone until he found that he wasn’t moving forwards.

“Watch where you’re going,” the large man yelled, “you made me spill me drink!” Goku stood there dumbfounded and didn’t even hear what the man had said. Before him he saw nothing but a mix of colors. Goku grasped for words but nothing understandable came out, not sure what he was trying to accomplish but he was soon knocked out of his trance. The large man had punched him square in the stomach and Goku immediately dropped to the floor. He got to his feet and offered an apologetic smile before stumbling out of the bar.

Goku followed the roads by hugging the sides where it was least busy. He tried to avoid eye contact with everyone he passed by to avoid any more trouble. Navigating home was incredibly difficult when nearly blind and he did not find his house for two hours because he kept taking the wrong path. To him the time that passed was nothing out of the ordinary because of the buzz. “You’re such a lightweight,” he said when he finally pushed open his door. He had a big headache coming on that he didn’t have a cure for. He’d no water in the house either so he went to bed in the worst of moods. “Shouldn’t have drunk so much,” were his final thoughts for the evening when sleep finally took him.

word count: 1543
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Jackalope
Posts: 420
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2021 7:34 pm
Race: Human
Renown: 0
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Re: Bowman's First Day


Experience: +10 xp

Knowledge:

Ranged (Shortbow) x4
Strength x1
Endurance x1

Skillplay: Appropriate to level

Loot: None.

Injuries/Overstepping: arm and abs pain for a few days

Renown: +5

Comments: It was interesting to see what Goku’s first lesson with a bow would end up being like. The idea that it would mainly involve how to string the bow, draw mechanics, and the physical demands of simply holding the thing out at arm’s length makes perfect sense.

I would suggest, to make these sorts of threads more interesting, that you try doing some research into what you’re writing about. Not a lot, just an introductory article or two, watch a few videos to get a feel for what the actions look like, that sort of thing. That way, you’ll be able form a strong picture in your own head about the action, and thus make it easier to depict it vividly in your writing. Your descriptions right now tend to be a bit abstract: “He showed Goku the right way to do x” isn’t exactly gripping, and doesn’t give the reader a clear picture of what’s happening. Speaking from my own personal experience, being able to imagine the action vividly and in some detail makes scenes like this more engaging and fun to *write*, as well.

The last bit where Goku goes to a tavern to get a drink was mildly interesting, but it felt tacked on and out of place. Those paragraphs IMO would have been better spent giving more details about the bow training, or about how Goku was feeling muscles in his back and forearms he didn’t even know he had, etc. It’s your story, though. If there’s a reason you wanted to write that, then you do you. It just didn’t come across to me what that scene in the tavern was doing there.

Let me know if either of you have any questions/feedback. Enjoy your rewards!
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