• Closed • All I Have to Do Is Dream....

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 28 Ashan

As Elisabeth kissed him, she felt his hand on the small of her back, not thinking much of it…. until her feet left the sand. Balthazar controlled her descent to the ground, but it was still a shock to the system. Blinking a bit as her body hit the ground, she looked up at him and everything flooded into her mind. Everything that had been absent was suddenly there. All the things she should have noticed but didn’t came alive in her mind.

She had been made lucid a few times before within dreams and it was always something of a disorienting experience. His presence helped but it took a bit for her to fully realize what had happened. Glancing around, she noted his hand on her sternum, keeping her in place. Balthazar was asking her a question. Did she remember how he felt about her? Why did it seem like such a hard question to answer? She knew the answer, but her words were a bit behind her mind. As such, she nodded, giving herself a few more trills before trusting her words to convey the amazingly simple sentiment. “You love me.” Cerulean eyes found their way to his. “Of course, I remember…” Elisabeth wasn’t sure why he was asking her that particular question, but it didn’t matter. Of course, she knew…

Blinking a bit more, Elisabeth finally figured out what was going on. “How? I thought something was wrong with Emea? How did you find me? I thought the brand didn’t work anymore?” They had talked about the issues with Emea before, but it hadn’t gone much further. There was nothing more ‘Elisabeth’ than someone having a whole bunch of questions tossed at them. Her curiosity was a bit insatiable but then again, dreams were something of a fascination for the young mage.

Somehow, he had found his way to her.

A smile finally found its way to her lips, tapping the hand that held her to the ground. “I’m awake. You can let me up now…”

She found it rather extraordinary that within the world of dreams, of all the dreams he could have stumbled into, he had found her’s. It was a bit of a gift really, to be allowed time with him, and she didn’t want to waste it.

Reaching up, she caressed his face gently. “I’ll always worry about you. That’s my job and I kind of like it.”

[Balthazar Black]

28 Ashan 721

She was awake! He smiled when he saw the recognition in her eyes but the moment did not last long before she launched into the many questions he did not have good answers for. None of it made sense. It rarely did but there were patterns that could be recognized. He kept his hand on her sternum, holding her on the ground as she asked about Emea and the brand he'd placed on her. He didn't feel it now so he knew the brand had not guided him here. It was like old times, he was guided by nothing more than curiosity and it lead him to her. She said he could let her up now and Balthazar looked down at his hand. She wanted up? "Make me." He smiled and a moment later, before she could act on his challenge, he removed his hand. She'd said other things that were worth addressing and he didn't want to keep her pinned the whole time.

"I still cannot reach the Untold but there is a layer before that which allows me to travel from my dream to the dreams of others. I'm not sure how any of it works anymore really. I don't see my brands. Everything used to seem more defined." That was all he could offer in the way of explanation. "I don't really know how I ended up here. I had assumed this was the dreamscape of one of the settlers when I first arrived but then I found you." They were lucky. Very lucky. But how long would their luck hold? This might well have been the last time they saw each other for a very long time... but maybe he was being paranoid. His last trip to the mainland had gone horribly so he was naturally worried about hers but he hid it well when he had to. "I'm glad I did."

Elisabeth caressed his face and he leaned down to kiss her briefly before rising back to where he was. "Then feel free to worry about me, but don't let it distract you from what you're doing." Balthazar said when Elisabeth expressed that she kinda liked worrying about him. "I can take care of myself and the settlement, even without my magic." He stood up and offered her a hand to get to her feet if she wanted to. They were unfortunately close to the water's edge and laying down might not be the driest option for them in a few trills.

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 28 Ashan

She always loved it when he smiled, but for it to be the very first thing for her to see upon becoming lucid made it even more special. He always told her that they didn’t need words, so instead, she let the gaze she gave him tell him everything he needed to know.

His taunt made her grin, but before she could do anything about it, he removed his hand from her sternum, causing a bit of a dramatic pout to appear. “Well, that was no fun whatsoever. I was looking forward to ‘making you’…”

Elisabeth was enjoying the moment there on the sand as he explained what he knew to be true. Her brow furrowed a bit, wondering how things connected and curious as to the exact nature of the dreamwalking ability, smiling at him as he spoke of his happiness that he had found his way to her. “I’m glad you did too. A surprise for sure, but a good one this time so I’m going to call that a win and be grateful.”

Closing her eyes as he leaned down to kiss her, she simply enjoyed the moment. They were always fleeting and soon enough, he was lifting away from her, offering his hand. Taking it, she rose to her feet to consider the dream environment, shaking the sand out of her raven curls with her free hand. “Well, this is new. I suppose it means I’m happy in Haven. I can’t see any other meaning for it…”

Squeezing his hand gently, she turned to regard him with a grin. “And in response to your comment, you are. More than capable. But I recall you telling me something similar not that long ago…so we will worry about each other and do the things we need to do as well. I think that’s part of the deal…”

Regarding the Sea, she smiled. Whereas her dream counterpart had focused on how much she loved Haven…. the real young woman had other thoughts, but she kept them to herself. He knew she hadn’t wanted to leave him. There were things that couldn’t be done in Haven, resources needed, and she had to be the one to go. Only a few trials. Then she’d be back with him and everything would be as it should be again.

“So, it seems we have been gifted time together. I suggest we make the most of it."

[Balthazar Black]

28 Ashan 721

"You're good, Elisabeth, but not that good." Balthazar commented when she said she was looking forward to 'making him' let her get up. He wasn't really thinking all that much about their comparative combat prowess when he said it, just that he was stubborn. Few people could ever make him do anything, but plenty had been able to convince him why something should be done. She said she was happy that things had worked out. She'd call it a win and be grateful but Balthazar was always a little more naturally suspicious about things. He didn't want to let it ruin the moment so he didn't show it, he just kept on with what they were doing. He kissed her, helped her up and she looked around at her dreamscape while trying to get the sand out of her hair. Balthazar gave the rendition of Haven a glance as well.

"Not everything has to have a meaning." Balthazar pointed out to Elisabeth after she suggested that their surroundings meant she was happy in Haven. "I've had very strange dreams that I don't think mean anything. Tomorrow night you might dream that you're the size of an insect and you're walking through the grass." Then again he had also had dreams he was fairly certain meant something but he wasn't going to mention those- they didn't help his point. Elisabeth shifted the topic, defining what she seemed to enjoy calling their deal again and Balthazar just nodded in agreement. "Though I think I should worry a little more about you, at least- you know, until you solve the whole falling issue." He laughed a little.

"If you have an idea, say it- don't just lead in." Balthazar said with a small nudge after she said their time was a gift and they should make the most of it. She did that quite a bit. She'd suggest they do something in vague terms. 'Make better memories' in a forest. 'Make the best' of their time now. What did she think was the best use? "Cause we have every trial when you get back together as well. Shouldn't we be making the most of that too? All the time?"

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 28 Ashan

Grinning up at him as he noted that was wasn’t good enough to make him do anything, she gave her shoulders a soft shrug. “Maybe not yet. But I have other…ways….of persuading you.” The mischievous smirk was all he needed to know to figure out where that line of thinking was going. To be fair, it was only natural. Parts of their relationship had been put on hold due to their current circumstances and while she was understanding and patient, she didn’t want him forgetting that no matter what, nothing had changed between them in that regard. The desire and love, it was all still there. In fact, her feelings became deeper with every passing trial.

He was right. Not everything had meaning. That was perhaps one of Elisabeth’s fatal flaws – looking for meaning where there wasn’t one. She confessed as much. “I suppose. I guess I’m just always looking for the rhyme or reason of why things are. Must be this mind of mine. It likes solid answers and sometimes in life, there just aren’t any.” Where was the line between reason and taking something on faith? She didn’t know but it was an intriguing concept.

A laugh slipped free as he mentioned her ‘falling’. It was a joke of theirs that had meaning to both – one of the very first pieces of advice he had given her as a mentor and trainer. “Fall less,” he had said. Rolling her eyes at him, they continued on to discuss her comment.

Huh. Sometimes she forgot how much Balthazar truly thought about things, and how much he never said. It was easy to overlook that he truly listened and considered most everything that went on around him. He always silently considered things while for her, it was more of a balance between silent contemplation and verbal speculation.

It was also rare for him to speak of the future like he was. At least in terms of their relationship. Regarding him with a smile, she nodded. “You are right. Every trial is something to be made the most of. You are an incredibly wise man, Balthazar Black. Wise man of few words. Although, one thing I do know is that I never take any of the trials I have with you for granted, so hopefully that’s something. Maybe that's the reason you are always having to remind me that I don't need all the words.”

He wanted her to speak her mind more. That would be….dangerous. Balthazar always chided her about all her words, so she was always hesitant to add more of them in. They had been slowly crawling to an understanding about not needing words between them to know how each other felt, but now he wanted more words.

Shaking her head gently, she laughed. “I’m not sure I’ll ever figure you out, my love. You keep my life interesting. Fine. I was thinking that a swim sounded nice since it’s something you can’t really do back home. I can, but I’d rather play in the water with you.”

[Balthazar Black]

28 Ashan 721

Balthazar thought about arguing that there were always answers if you knew where to look or looked hard enough, but he understood the general notion of what she'd said. He looked for answers where questions did not need to exist. It wasn't very different than what he did but Balthazar tried to focus on the questions that needed to be and could be answered. Why a dreamscape looked the way it did didn't seem that important in light of everything else happening around and to them. So he said nothing and just continued listening to Elisabeth while she spoke about how each trial was something for them to cherish. His brow softened a little when Elisabeth called him wise and then it furrowed again as disagreement swept into his thoughts.

"Don't call me wise, a wise man would not have been caught or would have come out of the trial better." How was he to know that the militant would receive reports with the precision of a Bellinos marked's memory? All the same he didn't like the notion. Things like wise and clever felt almost like insults when they came from people other than her and the only reason it wasn't a direct insult from her was because he knew she did not intend it as such. She really though he was wise and clever despite being shown the contrary during the trial. However his wisdom was not the main point of what she'd just said. "If you think about what you just said, you'll see why I am always reminding you that I don't need all the words." Balthazar pointed out to Elisabeth who should have been able to put together that he would need to tell her he didn't need the words if she wasn't always telling him the words. Repeated conversations were a two person game.

"Well that's not good. If you can't figure me out, what hope does Kura have?" Balthazar mused when Elisabeth said she'd never be able to figure him out. She suggested they play in the water and Balthazar gave her a strange look. What a weird woman from Viden and Rharne who liked playing in the water? He'd never played in water before but he'd never really had that sort of childhood. He'd been a farmer, then an apprentice, then a Defier and the water never really got on well with him then. He'd do it for her he just didn't expect that he would enjoy it. He looked out at the sea in her dreamscape a little skeptically as memories of the shade slipped back into his thoughts. Water was less predictable than land. Less clear. Bad things could happen if the dreamscape was not shaped exactly how they thought it was. It was then that he realized he was just making excuses not to go into the water.

She said he couldn't have gone for a swim in the waking world, but made the bold assumption that he would have wanted to. When he had magic, water tried to pull him under. Swimming was not high on his list of fun ways to spend his time. Still... "Alright, but only this once."

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 28 Ashan

Even if she hadn’t been in tune with Balthazar’s moods and mannerisms, Elisabeth would have caught the indications of disagreement coming from him…about almost everything she had said. It was enough to give her pause. She did think he was wise…but it always seemed like everyone thought she had some overinflated sense of the man – even the man himself. He had said something profound that she had enjoyed, and she had replied. It wasn’t false flattery. He knew her abilities in observation better than most, and her talent for getting a good sense of others. Why people didn’t take her at her word was beyond her but it seemed to be something of an epidemic.

Obviously, she was going to need to rethink some things. In reply, she simply nodded.

The smile brightened a bit when he mentioned her comment about possibly never figuring him out. “Well, I’ve figured some things out…but I dare say you enjoy being a bit of a mystery. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue to try.” Spoken with a grin, she kicked a bit of water playfully in his direction with her bare foot. Indeed, that was one of the things she endeavored to do with Balthazar. The more she knew and figured out, the easier she could make things on him, and that was a goal of hers.

The look he gave her regarding playing in the water also stopped her in her tracks. It was a similar look to the one he had offered her when she asked him to dance that night at her house so long ago. His comment was similar too., which is what made her think of that night. Balthazar might not have meant it to be harsh, but that coupled with the earlier rebuke about words was enough to make her rethink her idea. He didn’t want to swim but he didn’t want to tell her that.

Shaking her head, she gave him a small smile with a laugh. “It’s fine. It was just a thought. I can tell you really don’t want to and that’s alright. You asked me, I told you. We can do something else. I honestly don’t have any good ideas, considering I just enjoy spending time with you in general and talking. There’s never a need to do anything. Being able to see and hear you have always been enough for me, especially lately.”

Probably too many words again but couldn’t be helped. Being able to be with him, while always important, had become doubly so since the trial. The lingering aftereffects of being separated from him under extreme emotional duress continued to play with her mind. Elisabeth had mostly bottled those issues up and sent them adrift, but every now and then, they poked back up again, causing her to wonder if they would ever leave her for good. They hadn't really talked too much about what had happened to them although perhaps he was speaking more openly with his therapist. For her, a few words to Prae had been the extent of her sharing. The young mage had been too focused on Balthazar to worry too much about herself and what she was feeling.

[Balthazar Black]

28 Ashan 721

One trial Balthazar was going to learn exactly what little signs he gave away in the trills between her asking him a question and him answering. He gave her the answer he assumed she wanted and yet she still seemed to divine, somehow, that he was not really interested. He took a quick step back when Elisabeth playfully kicked some water at him with her bare feet and the liquid returned to the sea shortly after being sent towards the dreamwalker. He never liked feeling analyzed and when people seemed privy to his private thoughts despite him telling them what they wanted to hear, he felt like he was being analyzed. It happened to him enough with the Flame Troopers watching, the therapist asking questions, and the constant reports to Kura. He didn't want Elisabeth analyzing him too and yet it was something she seemed set on doing because she thought it would make things easier for him.

He didn't need her to make things easier. He just needed her to be her, not who she thought he wanted her to be. She said, more or less, that it was very clear he didn't want to swim and he took it as a criticism of his discipline that he could not conceal it enough from her. However he moved on quickly, more than content not to go for a frolic in the dream sea. She said they could do something else and Balthazar looked around."Well I'd show you around but this is your dream. I'm not sure where the barriers begin and end." He moved a little bit further from the water and lowered himself into the sand, sitting and looking out at the sea. "We can talk, a little more freely?" He suggested. It had been the first thing he considered. It was what he thought she would have wanted which was partially why he was surprised she'd chosen to go for a swim.

"How have you been since the trial?"

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 28 Ashan

Being naturally perceptive was a blessing, and a curse sometimes. She could take it too far without meaning to, but her intentions were always the best, especially when it came to Balthazar. At the very least, she was aware of it and maybe that would be enough to curb her instincts a bit.

His comment brought another laugh. “True…but I’m not even sure I know where those edges are. I don’t have a lot of experience at being lucid. I might walk us off a cliff...”

Talking with Balthazar was one of her favorite things to do. Their conversations since arriving in Haven had been made challenging by the fact that they couldn’t always say what they wanted, choosing words, not for the express purpose of hiding anything but wanting to keep their relationship as private as they could. It was important to Balthazar and by extension, to her as well.

Smiling, Elisabeth gently slipped down to the sand in front of him, speaking softly. “Balthazar, I know I’m not the easiest girl to be around sometimes. I have...habits…that are hard to turn off. Things have been a bit upside down so I’m still trying to find my footing. I’ll get there, I promise. I'm just a bit dense sometimes and it takes me awhile. Forgive me?" Grinning a bit as she gazed at him, she reached out, nudging his knee gently.

Moving over next to him, she wrapped her arms around her knees, letting her cerulean gaze find the waves. His question brought forth a whole host of thoughts. It was the first time he had really asked her how she was doing, specially since the trial. He always asked about her in a general sense. Sighing a bit, Elisabeth let her hand drift down to the sand, scooping up a handful of it and letting the grains fall through her fingers as she spoke.

“Better now. At first, it was difficult. A lot changed quickly so it took me time to catch up. I’ve been worried about you, obviously. Being in Haven has helped. Being with you, helped more. And not really in the sense of talking about what happened and such…but just being close to you made me feel safe to dive into how I was feeling and deal with it. I don’t like letting those things linger for too long. I guess I felt that with you and Haven, I have a safe space to deal with everything.”

Smiling softly at him, she gently laid her head on her knees, face turned his direction. “And you? How have you really been?”

[Balthazar Black]

28 Ashan 721

Elisabeth's comment that she might walk them off a cliff was not a very reassuring notion to the traveling dreamer. He did not want to walk off any cliffs and now he certainly did not want to go out into the water. She seemed to agree to a conversation and sat down in the sand in front of him rather than beside him. It was indeed better for a chat but she felt further away sitting in front of him. Perhaps it was for the best- they could focus on what they were saying a little more. "You don't have to apologize just... stop trying to figure me out? I'll tell you the things that really matter. Always." He said in response to her apology about her habits. "Besides, your habits are useful. You get people talking you figure things out. We've made a lot of progress because of the things you found walking around and talking to people." Balthazar nudged her leg with his foot as if it made his point.

Then she moved next to him and her arms wrapped around her knees while she looked out at the sea. She answered the lingering question about how she was. Better now? Well... that was better than if she were worse now. She was adjusting, adapting, and she said that being with him made it easier to go through those feelings but he didn't know how. He wasn't the easiest to talk to with the guards around but he was working on it. She said a lot had changed quickly which he felt was an extreme understatement but he understood the notion. Then she asked how he was doing and as if instinct his head twisted a little to look for the guard that was not there watching him. He took a deep breath and looked back out at the water.

"Not well. Well, well enough I guess. I've kept the settlement from burning down but I feel... alone. Even with you, sometimes especially with you. Defiance is about the bond. We work with them, we become their ally. Every time Praetorum and I sparred, the elements grew upset with us because they did not like being put against each other but we were careful. Always careful enough. Attunement was a gentle magic as well. It inspired me to seek things out but it never changed me in some horrible way. The worst was Rupturing. I'll admit that ever since I was initiated into that magic I have felt an urge to move and to explore. I was good at managing it though. My other magics helped. I had Attunement to calm the spark and the support of my friends through Defiance." Balthazar took a deep breath again and his feet dug into the sand a little. "Now I've been cut off from all of it and sometimes- every time, seeing you use them makes me feel like a stranger watching a conversation I can't understand." He paused, "It's not pleasant. I'm angry most of the time but generally not when I'm with you. I am happy to spend the time I can with you. I'm happy you're here. I'm just bitter. I keep myself busy and it keeps my mind off it but I hate being monitored. I hate putting everything through the guards for approval before acting." He kicked a little sand.

"This is not the job I signed up for... but I suppose I haven't been doing that for a long time."