I am the serpent

[Nefere]

The eye was firmer than Nefere had expected and made a strange cracking sound as her weapon penetrated the large socket, like breaking a thin sheet of crystallised sugar. The assault was answered with another thrash of the Sand Lion's head and Nefere had only just managed to role out of the way in time, the vortex of sand stilled for a moment as the creature reassessed, finding nothing to go for. Nefere wasted not time in springing from the sinkhole and clawed her way to the surface while Eddrick did his best to distract and pin the crazed beast. It wasn't until she was back on the flat bed of sand that she realised her foot had been clipped by one of the strange, hard teeth. The blood caused her pause, assessing her own damage, nothing broken or detached, she felt happy to go on and fixed the same bolt to her weapon while Eddrick pried shell from flesh, exposing the second eye.
Nefere dived onto her side and steadied her aim quickly before pulling the trigger of her crossbow to release the bolt, close enough that she managed to strike the second eye on its outer edge which kept the creature from blinking or moving the glassy orb about to look at them. Unsatisfied with this result, the huntress let herself fall into the hollowed out death pit once more only to slam her heel against the creatures eye, knowing there was little it could do with Eddrick keeping it pinned. Any extra movement would only serve the humans and it seemed the Sand Lion had realised this. Perhaps the poison of her bolt hadn't been able to penetrate the hard shell, but stabbed into the soft filling of the animal's eye left not doubt that if it was to be effective, they would see results soon.
"Pull!" Nefere waved, whatever the desert wandered had up his sleeve, he would not get a better change to end things than he had right now.

[Eddrick Brodon]

It was quickly getting dicey to keep the Sand Lion's movements restrained. He could see the bolts and rivets on the handle of his ball and chain growing fatigued, the wood beginning to show cracks. He heard the "thump" and "thock" of the woman's crossbow being fired, and the bolt hitting, but the beast did little more than hiss and lurch. If anything, it only wrenched harder on the fittings of Eddrick's weapon.

What's more, 'Arrow' was no longer distracting the creature, as he sat tearing off bits of the treat Eddrick had thrown a moment before to get him to fly in that direction. It had served it's purpose, getting the Sand Lion's head in the position that had allowed Eddirck to snare its mandibles with the chain. But now it didn't seem as though there was anything else to do with the implements at hand. There was a second shot and impact of the crossbow, a second hiss, and Eddrick felt as if his shoulders were going to rupture from the strain.

Instead, however, the strain ruptured the ball and chain; and with a loud crack, the chain tore loose from the handle, whipping around to slap the far side of the sand lion's face. The beast was free of the restraining hold of the chain on its mandible, though the toothy protrusion still had one end wrapped around it. For some oddly instinctive reason, Eddrick was unthinkingly compelled to retain his hold on the handle, as the beast's renewed thrashing ejected it from beneath the carapace plate. Eddrick grabbed the edge of the bent plate with his free hand, as the creature warbled in pain at the whipping impact of the chain on its face.

Eddrick miraculously managed to maintain his hold, and soon the creature recognized that its own movements were causing the chain to assail its face. Eddrick grabbed the opportunity to improve his hold, and was just about to toss the broken handle aside for another hand to use when he noticed that the handle had broken off sharply. The one carapace segment was still kinked from the previous strain against the handle. Soft tissue was exposed beneath. The Sand Lion seemed suddenly to grow aggressively annoyed at the presence of the woman right before it. There was no more time for thought.

Eddrick stabbed the sharp end of the broken handle into the thin opening of soft, green flesh. The beast's hiss was as much a roar of surprise as pain. The ensuing tossing and rolling threw Eddrick face first into the sand. He rolled immediately, assuming the creature was going to come after him. But his first chance to look back showed the creature contorting and shrieking as it tried to dislodge both the bolt in its eye and the shaft of wood thrust halfway into its back. Eventually, it just shuddered its way back into the sand and Eddrick watched in mixed satisfaction and frustration as the hump of sand betraying its presence moved away with surprising speed, soon to descend to depth sufficient to be undetectable.

Eddrick doubled over with suddenly realized exhaustion. He fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath for several ticks before remembering the woman with the crossbow. It took him a moment to orient himself to where memory said she should be standing. It was not exactly at the back of his mind that she may be pointing at him right now. But before he located her for confirmation, his eye caught three silhouettes at the top of a dune in the near distance. Everything about them spoke of having watched what had just transpired.

Part of him wanted to rail loudly against them for having chosen not to assist. But logic argued that they could not have reached in time to do anything anyway. He'd been in enough battles before to know that time passed differently for those that watched and those that fought. It had probably been less than a bit for the entire struggle to run its course. Still facing the new arrivals, Eddrick spoke with sidelong sarcasm to the woman he assumed was still nearby, "Well I certainly hope they enjoyed the show."

[Rosamond]

Nefere

I have the reivew for Nefere at ready, so if she would come back from retirement I can post it for you at once. Just drop me a PM.

Eddric Brodon

SKILLS

Acrobatics 2
Animal Training 3
Detection 5
Endurance 3
Field Craft 2
Intelligence 1
Intimidation 1
Persuasion 1
Storytelling 1
Tactics 5
Unarmed Combat 1
Whips: Chain & Ball 3

BASIC KNOWLEDGES

Nefere and Nera: Two dangerous women
Poko: Unaffected by the heat and immune to Hotlands taipan venom
Poko: Deceptive appearance
Sand Lion: The giant subterranean insect and it's tendencies
The Desert Wanderer: Vague augury about the fate of the lands

SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGES

Animal Training Hawk: Giving Arrow commands by shrieking
Animal Training Hawk: Recognizing the hawks alarm call
Animal Training Poko: Making the poko tapdance

Hotlands Field Craft: Locating water by looking at bones
Hotlands Field Craft: Collecting water from the poko's urine
Hotlands Field Craft: Finding sings of water on the ground

Tactics: Basic ambush tactics and to keep the sun behind you
Tactics: Lure and Ambush
Tactics: Stall for time by telling stories
Tactics: Pulling Sand Lions by Bizarre Tantrum Poko Tapdance

Whips, Chain&Ball : Snaring an opponent with the chain
Whips, Chai&Ball : Using the handle as a weapon if the chain tears loose

COMMENTS

This thread is full of good things, and well written by both players ! Eddric's tactics to makes the poko do the Bizarre Tantrum Poko Tapdance in order to attract a Sand Lion goes to my collection of top crazy insanely entertaining stuff. The cliffhanger at the end ... sadly became The End, which is a pity for all us who wanted to know what would happen next.

Rosamond<-- Newbie Rewier. So please drop me a PM if there's something I overlooked or misunderstood.

[Pegasus]

Nefere

Points!:

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5

Knowledge:

Location: Hidden Oasis
Poison: extracting snake venom
Poison: delivering on a crossbow bolt.
Poison: pierce the skin
Cooking: Snake on a stick!
Endurance: Climbing in heat is twice as hard.
Deception: Use your surroundings to hide small objects
Survival: Conserve supplies
Tactics: Have a back up plan.
Tactics: Divide and conquer
Stealth: Move in the shadows
Stealth: Moving silently in sand
Ranged Combat: Roll, grab, aim and shoot manouvere.
Poko: Drumming attracts sand lion
Eddrick: Madman
Poko: Very useful in the desert
Hawks: Can be trained

Loot:

NA

Fame:

None

Overview:

General comments. An interesting and well written pc with a lovely relationship between her and her sister. I look forward to reading about her more!
Story All good, fast paced, lots of action. Great fun!
StructureNo issues!

Please do drop me a PM if there are any issues / question etc.