Sweet Betrayal

Malcolm

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
User avatar
Elyna
Approved Character
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
Character Sheet
Partner
Letters
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
77 Ashan 716
It had been a hard morning. She had been summoned back to Andaris by her Captain and had no choice but to return by Jacadon. She’d argued with the messenger though and the Major had agreed she could accompany Ronald and Simon. It wasn’t a duty that she would ever want to repeat, but it had needed to be done. She’d made her farewells to the gathered group of riders and Knights, hugging Katheryn hard before the woman finally turned away and mounted up. She’d approached wearing her worn and battered clothes and they’d relaxed, seeing her once more as their companion, less a Noblewoman; and stranger. Perhaps it had helped to see her eyes ringed with red and it clear that she too, hadn’t slept much overnight.

Elyna had pulled Katheryn aside and apologised to the woman. She’d also asked the woman’s help to return Ember safely to the city. She was reluctant to leave the horse behind but trusted the Knights’ judgement.

Two Jacadon’s had risen into the sky a break after the Knights and their Captain had left and she’d scoured the ground for them and failed to see through between breaks in the thick tree growth. Given the choice, she would have travelled back. But it was long out of her hands. All that she could do, was feel humbled by her ability to escort Simon and Ronald home and offer quiet comfort to the young man as he struggled to hold together his natural reluctance to travel at such great height and speed, and his devastating loss.

She was worried for Malcolm, for his stiches and the wounds she’d passed onto him. Worried about the poison and how it could affect him, and she would remain twisted with worry until she saw him again, back home in the city, alive and well. What then?

Once Simon had been delivered to his family and helped Ronald to drown his sorrows, she’d half-dragged and half-carried the man back to his own rooms to let him sleep. It was the only way she knew how to carry grief, to lose yourself in it. Try and forget it at first, by any means possible. She hadn’t drunk herself though and had, far too late in the day, reported to her Captain.

To say she was displeased would have been the understatement of the cycle. She was furious of Elyna’s deliberate mis-interpretation of her orders. And the Skyrider had received the most severe dressing down of her career and the docking of her pay for each day she had spent with the Knights on their journey to Krom. But seeing her in a better health, Elyna had been told to sign herself up to the next roster of duties.

Exhausted she’d fallen into her bed and snuggled in under the blankets. It was good to be home. Tomorrow she would settle her debt with the stables and buy Ember. She would need a loan, and the next cycle she would have to take care to manage her coin, but the horse would be hers. Her mind and body were drained and she lay awake in the darkness, waiting for sleep to steel her thoughts, but over and over they returned to the night before and despite the heavy sadness that had weighed on her shoulders, and her concerns for Malcolms safe return, she couldn’t help but feel a thread of happiness. A golden thread in the tapestry she was weaving with her life.

They’d come together in passion and it had been frantic and intense, her body responded in memory and she pulled her pillow over her face. There had been brief satisfaction and his touch and kiss were seared into her mind; but he’d left her with the deepest longing for more. It had been a hell of a week and it had been little wonder that she’d drifted and slept with her back against his bare chest, the nearest horse blanket pulled over them for warmth. But respite had been brief and she’d woken to his lips pressed against her ear. Struggling up from the depths of sated sleep she’d blinked and nodded to his suggestion that they meet upon their return to the city. Of course she would. She’d travel anywhere to see him again. She would follow him to the ends of the world if she had to.

It hadn’t been long after that they’d departed the stables and she’d slunk through the shadows and back to the room offered by the Baroness. She had a surprising amount of experience stealing into the homes of nobility and managed sleep for a break or so more before it truly was time to rise.

The messenger from Andaris had explained to Malcolm, before she had joined the party that the Lady Elyna was required back, immediately and it had been then that she had seized the opportunity to perform a final act in respect of Simon and his memory. Once the Major had raised his hands in defeat and agreement, he had left to ready the Jacadon’s for travel. Ronald following close behind him. She’d turned to Malcolm and searched his expression for either doubt or regret. He had been drinking, he could ply her with excuses if he wished. But she’d hoped that it wouldn’t. It had been almost impossible not to close the distance between them again and leave him with a final kiss.

Instead she’d turned to catch Katheryn, jogging after the group of Knights as they prepared to depart.

Elyna had waited patiently for the party’s’ return. She’d return from a simpler mission, flying south to Venora to deliver specific herbs to combat a sickness that was spreading through the southern villages like wildfire. She and the Major had left the supplies in the designated zone and returned back to the city, arriving in the first flush of light. She’d checked by the barracks and read the rosters. Her heart had found a new home in her throat when she realised that Nathan, and Katheryn had returned. They were home and safe. Malcolm was back.

They had agreed in their brief and half-murmured discussion that they would meet at noon on the day of his return. She had run back to her rooms, washed and dressed in the freshest clothes she had before climbing up through into the city to the Library. The skyrider had waited for his arrival. Perched between two stone columns she had scanned the passing crowds for a familiar face, hopeful at first, then frustrated. Finally she had lent back against them and pressed her cheek to the cool stone. As a third break passed she realised that she was a fool. He had returned to the city and his home and his wife.
It was a thought that she’d tried to avoid, but like a sickness it started spreading through her veins and she felt nauseas. What had she been thinking? There was no future, there shouldn’t have been a history. Perhaps she’d lost her mind. So far from home, on the road and with all that had happened during their travel. She had been an idiot and worse, she’d left herself exposed. Her heart on her sleeve and easy to injure. She had waited longer than pride should have let her and finally she stood, making her weary way back to the barracks. Disgusted at the faint hope that lingered, hoping he might just turn up and appear around the corner or find her on the journey back. Of course he didn’t.

Hope turned to disgust and eventually anger. Before, two days later the nagging concern at the back of her mind won over them all. That night she’d flown over the city, watching the lights and listening to the distant shouts, laughter and eventual peace that settled in the wee breaks of the pre-dawn. Relieved of duty she’d returned home in time to freshen up and set off, back into the city.

Elyna was torn, angry at his simple betrayal but mostly at herself for being so naïve; however the young woman remained worried. She hadn’t seen Malcolm after all, what if the poison had reached him after all? She’d seen Katheryn since their return and the woman had revealed his safe return to the city, but what had happened then? The same thought rose again and again, with bile. His wife. She had no right to do this, but she couldn’t stay away any longer. The Skyrider knocked hesitantly at his front door and retreated back down the steps.

Three times she’d turned on her heel and gone to walk back to the barracks. Each time her fear had won out and she’d forced herself to spin again and carry on. Even if she simply saw him, paid her respects to Vanessa and left she would be satisfied. She clenched her fists before forcing her fingers to relax. She would be satisfied in the knowledge that he was alive and well. And she would leave him to his life and not look back.

Elyna steeled herself as the knocks fell, lifting her chin. Ready to face whatever was to come.
word count: 1588
Malcolm
Posts: 1099
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 179
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Partner
Personal Journal
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
Ronald had been brave and steadfast, keeping his cool right up until the point of having to climb up onto the Jacadon, which would get them home to the city in less than a day. With shaking hands he had joined the major, looking as if he had managed little to no sleep, something later confirmed by Kathryn, who had stayed up all night with the man, listening to stories about Simon and keeping Ronald company until he passed out for a brief half break. Lady Elyna said her goodbyes to the team and it took all of the captains willpower to stay on his horse and offer a simple nod as thanks for her time with them. He had wanted to steer his mount up alongside the woman and bow to kiss her until their lips were swollen, as he had done last night, but managed to suppress such thoughts.
Again and again he was greeted by the image of her face and stunning dark features whenever he closed his eyes, and watched as her ride took off before leading his unit, new recruits in tow, out into the surrounding woodlands and fields of Krom, pointed home. Had he regretted his choice to shed uniform and bare all in the first act of passion he had seen in almost twenty arcs? He would endure death by flame and lamp oil before admitting to such, and knew each night of the journey home that sleep found him, so too would the memory of her and their shared night of unrestrained passion.
They rode hard the first day, making good ground on horses with fresh legs and that night they had eaten and slept, waking stiff the next morning to a cold-snap that had settled in amongst the trees. The following night they had all been happy to camp on higher ground, managing to find a hill half a mile from the Zor River. In the morning Malcolm had taken them back to the scene of the crime where the dead bodies of bandits lay scattered along the riverbanks. The captain had his new recruits take any weapons they could use to gift to the Moseke Knights and stripped the corpses, piling them up to burn, discouraging any acts of Necromancy within the Kingdom.
Nathan had pointed out a tattoo on one of the dead men and Malcolm recognised it as a mark worn by the faction VII, mountaineers from the far west, situated in the Burning Mountains between the regions of Warrick and Endor. It had been many arcs since he had seen the mark and a strange, uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Seven, as they went by in the common tongue, were an organised gang of Rynmere's most hardened criminals, overseeing businesses and smuggling rings across the country. To think that they were making a comeback was troubling to say the least. A few more examined bodies revealed that all of them belonged to the same group, and Malcolm was please that his unit had at the very least managed to thin their numbers in this neck of the woods.
Beyond the river they had run into trouble, but this time the Knights had expected a fight and charged with shields raised and swords in hand. Malcolm was able to block an on coming arrow with his shield, twisting his body to absorb the blow against the iron plate, only to be thrown off his mount by the swing of a wooden club, the weapon of a wild man. He rolled to his feet and drew a throwing blade, casting it into his attacker's shoulder, before dodging another swing that clipped the edge of his shield and caused his shoulder to burn where the old injury still slowed him down. With throwing blade traded for long sword, he attacked, swinging and stabbing at his enemy until he managed to land a hit that opened the brigand's midsection and saw him drop to his knees.
Casting his shield aside, Malcolm took a mighty swing at the back of man's neck with his sword, attempting to sever head from body, an act that took great skill and strength, something still seemingly out of reach. A second swing got the job done and when the battle was through, his team took their loot and checked the band of dead men for marks. Nothing, which caused them all to worry less about the scratch Benjamin had ended up with on his cheek under his left eye.
That night they celebrated, with a sense of normalcy returning to the group, laughter and drink shared, Malcolm even took the time to learn the names of the new recruits Benjamin had hired. A woman by the name of Veronica, and a young man who went by the name Keith, both in their early to mid twenties and both from Krom. The two of them seemed excited about the prospect of working in Andaris and Malcolm did his best not to sugarcoat anything for them over the next day it took to return to the capital.

The captain had arranged to meet Elyna as soon as he returned but a report from Peter, who they had left in the city to overseen their usual patrols, left the man distracted and before the realisation that he would be late struck, he was already putting his key in the door at home. Inside the house, Malcolm had put down his shield and undid his belt, leaving his weapons on the table until he had time to polish them later, something he would do upon his return no doubt for he was already dreaming up an excuse to tell Vanessa about his reasons for heading out again. The man pulled his leather tabard up over his shoulders and opted to freshen up first, retreating to the small bathroom to sit and soak in the bath for a while. It felt good to clean his hair finally and rinse the blood from the dark strands, feeling the stitches that still needed to come out, something else Vanessa could do for him before he left hopefully.
Half dressed and unable to find his wife, Malcolm heard a knock at the door and went to investigate, opening it to find Heath on the other side. "Heath, I was just on my way out," he said, "was there something you needed?"
Heath let himself in and sat down at the table. He looked at Malcolm and seemed to shake off whatever it was he had intended to say and instead pointed with knife drawn. "Weren't those stitches meant to come out yesterday?"
The captain raised his arm to look at his side and pulled up a chair in front of Heath, sitting down to let him do the honours. "I thought Vanessa would be home, she usually is after a mission, ready to greet me."
"With a hot meal, I bet," Heath smiled and longed for the same.
Malcolm nodded. "Guess I will just have to go hungry."
"Over my dead body," the man teased, "tavern, you and me, we will start a new end of watch ritual."
Malcolm laughed. "It will have to wait, I have plans this tonight."
"Tomorrow then," Heath insisted and the captain agreed.

With the last stitch removed, Malcolm examined his wounds in the mirror and slipped into a fresh shirt. "Whatever that herbalist fixed us, worked."
"I feel ten arcs younger," Heath smirked.
"Funny, you don't look it," Malcolm grinned and the other man laughed.

Heath was on his feet and just about to leave when he noticed a letter propped up against a vase in the kitchen with regional seal of the wolf immortalised in red wax on the front. He crossed the room and picked up the letter. "From Vanessa?" He asked, the name Malcolm etched in dry, black ink on the front.
"Perhaps," the captain agreed and took the letter before seeing his friend off.

Malcolm put the letter down and stared at it before looking around the room. His wife's library books were gone, as too were her paintings, a silly house plant she had been trying to keep alive all winter, and the candles she had made to sit on top of the fireplace. The captain turned around and suddenly realised how empty the place seemed, having been too distracted when he had initially walked in to recognise the changes. The letter in his hand suddenly felt weighted and the man sunk down into a chair beside the living room table slowly, his thumb hooked under the fold of the envelope to pop the seal and read the words Vanessa had agonised over.


My Darling,

I cannot put in words the love and dedication you have shown me over the last forty arcs, nor the way in which my heart swells each trial I wake with thoughts of you. Together we achieved wonderful things and drank from the cup of life until with sated bellies, found ourselves drunk with overwhelming joy, love, and loss.

As the father of our two dear sons, and my lifelong partner, you will always be recognised and welcome in the House of Krom, and though in our parting you will find yourself stripped of the title of baron, take heart in the knowledge that you pass this onto our son Marcus, who I know will strive to be the brilliant leader his father is.

Presently I take the road to Burhan under watch of guard where I will stay with friends of ours until I make journey for Krom where my family will see to it that I am cared for. Please don't follow or seek me out, leaving you was the most difficult decision I will ever have to make, and know that it was not made lightly.

What little coin I had has been left in the sweets jar on the wall shelf in the kitchen, it isn't much but it will see you through until next season. I've returned all of my books to the library but failed the find Ashes of Krom which I remember you reading last. Make sure it is not on your desk at the university before paying the fine, which with its safe return will free you of debt.

Do not sit with heavy heart but rise anew, I know how your thoughts weigh and your devotion binds you. Find peace, my love, for it goes with me now. You gave me the best life, one lived without regret, wholesome and full, with memories to cherish and feed the soul until to this flesh it is no longer bound.

I love you, Malcolm, and I will always be yours, if not in body, then mind and spirit. Live again, my darling, love again, the world is yours as it has and always will be. Take care, my love, and walk with head held high. Look after yourself and those you care for, continue to write, read, teach, learn, and fight for everything you believe in.

Forever yours,

Vanessa Krom
Image
The last paragraph of the letter had been distorted by a single teardrop, now dried, that at the thought of it falling from crest of lover's cheek, saw the man's eyes water, along with every word seared into his memory. Malcolm rose from the chair slowly, heart barely beating in his chest, and took to the stairs with letter in hand, where he then sunk down into the covers Vanessa had washed the memory of her scent from before taking her leave. Lavender and sunshine, he recalled, cherry-blossoms and wood-ash, old books and salt air, intertwined in the yellow of her hair. He grasped the letter to his chest and closed his eyes, dreams and inevitably sleep, taking him from this world to the realm of Emea where Jesine ruled and his begged his half-sister to claim his being for another ten arcs, just as she had done upon their first meeting, where pain and sorrow had ruled him, and life just seemed too bitter and cruel to bear.

Days later Malcolm was awoken by a knock at the front door. He stirred slowly, rolled over on the bed and sat up, stiff and aching all over. He went down we stairs to use the bathroom and wash his face before answering the door, hair a mess, the skin under his eyes dark, and cheekbones gaunt. He felt his stomach tighten, reminding him that he hadn't eaten for a few days and blinked across at Elyna before reaching out, his hands finding her hips as he sunk to his knees and sucked in a shaky breath, his upper body heaved as he tried and failed to shake the dread of his loss, still clutching the letter in his right hand.[/align]
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 2161
User avatar
Elyna
Approved Character
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
Character Sheet
Partner
Letters
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
His appearance stripped all but concern from her mind and the Skyrider could do little but gently push her fingers through his hair. What had happened? Who had died? Elyna peered behind him at the house he shared with his wife, but failed to see Vanessa rushing out to help; guilt twisted her thoughts and Elyns drew back her hands quickly and bent, trying to loop one beneath his shoulder, "Mal...Mal!" The young woman helped him back through the door of his home and turned to close it behind her.

Still no wife, her gaze roved over the staircase, and she realised she couldn't hear anyone else. The entrance way was cold, the whole building felt as though a fire hadn't been lit since they'd first set off on their assignment. Elyna knelt down in front if her captain, hands shaking as she rested her fingers on his shoulders, "what's wrong?" She pleaded, "tell me what's happened?" How can I help you, she added as a silent, desperate thought, how can I take this pain away?
Last edited by Elyna on Tue Apr 12, 2016 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 182
Malcolm
Posts: 1099
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 179
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Partner
Personal Journal
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
Elyna had managed to move the man inside but he found himself on the floor again, hand searching blindly for the wall. The young woman was good to him and helped the man to his feet. His cheeks were wet with tears, those shed out of exhaustion and pain of loss. Malcolm, like his father, ruled over a domain of the heart that saw them love deeply, and take loss hard. He sank into a chair beside the table and opened his hand to finally let go of the letter.
The captain closed his eyes, there was nothing he could say that would quite describe how he was feeling or what the real problem was. If Elyna were to read the letter she might scratch the surface but it was impossible to describe the pain of losing someone one had been close to for forty years, especially without a goodbye. The fact that Vanessa didn't want to see him again stung and it would be a struggle for the man to respect such wishes if he chose to stay in Rynmere.
Malcolm dried his eyes on the sleeves of his shirt and closed his hand over the folded letter on the table. "Forgive me, my lady. Between unexpected news and a change of living circumstances I've been somewhat overwhelmed since my return. I apologise for not being able to meet you or send word detailing reason for my absence."

Malcolm breathed in through his nose and closed his eyes. When he opened them again they were a lighter shade of green, an odd occurrence that only took place when he was upset. The man looked tired and far away, the house had been shut up for too long and the smell suddenly hit him, something he stood up to rectify, opening a couple of windows before he put some kindling in the fireplace and tried to light it.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 320
User avatar
Elyna
Approved Character
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
Character Sheet
Partner
Letters
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
Elyna could only watch, hovering at the door way as he struggled with himself. Whatever was tearing him apart, was hurting him deeply. That much was true. She pushed her fingers through her hair and studied him intently. When had he last eaten? Drunk? He looked…faded and drained. Of all things, this was not what she had expected to find. She pulled the letter across the table, read a few short lines and hurriedly pushed it back again. It hadn’t been meant for her eyes, but at least she had some idea of the problem.

The Skyrider bit the inside of her cheek and simply nodded when he spoke. Formal, apologetic. As though he’d missed a briefing session of the watch. She couldn’t blame him, but the bitter pain of his loss stung her. It was a truly selfish thought, but he had loved his wife and Elyna found herself wishing that Vanessa had never existed. Elyna was hit by the strength of his connection to the woman and it was a blow that landed heavily. No matter what had happened between them, no matter what the future held, Malcolm would never be hers. His heart had already been readily given. She stood up a little straighter, after all, so had hers by another. Elyna let out the air trapped in her lungs and turned, leaving him behind in his house.
* * * *
She returned though, a part break later with a collection of breads, soft fruit, milk and tea-herbs. The door hadn’t quite closed behind her so she managed to walk through, cautious and set the items down on the table before she turned to find Malcolm. He was a good man. He needed her help or he too would drown in loss, “you need to eat something…” she lifted a shoulder in a shrug and pushed the bread towards him, fresh and warm it brought with it, its own sweet smell. She could be a friend, even if it killed her a little bit.
word count: 340
Malcolm
Posts: 1099
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 179
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Partner
Personal Journal
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
Malcolm turned to find the woman gone without a word only to see the letter had been moved. He took the creased paper and threw it on the fire, now a roar. With an extra log added, the place started to dry up and soon smelt a lot better. He watched the edges of the letter curl up; after forty arcs he deserved better, the letter meant nothing to him and he wouldn't hold on to heartache or anything that reminded him of such. If the man had learnt anything in the last few hundred arcs, it was how important it was to be able to pack up one's life at the drop of a hat. Malcolm had never valued material things and this morning it seemed he was proving that to himself again.
Elyna's return came as a surprise to the man and as she set the bread and fruits down on the table he got up to put a pot of water over the fire to boil some water for tea. As he poured Elyna a cup of tea and returned to his seat, Malcolm found himself already dreading the thought of being questioned and it struck him that perhaps the button he had kept pushing with the young noble woman was much the same, that perhaps she had once loved and lost. The captain sipped his tea and tore away a piece of the bread that Elyna had offered, accepting it with a smile, or something that resembled such, the echo of a smile, there but just as empty as his eyes.
If nothing else it seemed his mood had lifted and part of that was thanks to the woman sitting across from him. He was ashamed then, that she had caught him during such a weak moment, but at least it hadn't scared her off for good, as he had thought moments ago before she had come back through the door. Malcolm wanted to say something but nothing seemed right, instead he reach out across the table and took the woman's hand to offer a reassuring squeeze which said I am here, thank you for caring.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 365
User avatar
Elyna
Approved Character
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
Character Sheet
Partner
Letters
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
Elyna sat woodenly across from. Her hands curled around the warm vessel, trying to take comfort. She could feel herself drifting, all the cautious hope she’d been harbouring towards the captain was being carefully locked away in a distant part of her mind. If he’d started raising her up from the depths of her own darkness, she was slipping further and further back down. She lifted the drink and sipped it carefully. She turned her hand in his and squeezed the fingers back. Someone else was in her place though. Elyna was watching from afar, and cursing her own selfish nature.

Finally, she cleared her throat and set the tea down. This was a private moment, Malcolm needed time. She stood up carefully and set the chair back under the table, “I’m going to go,” she explained unnecessarily.

“Malcolm…I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I am sorry that you’re hurt and that you…you might feel like the world is falling on top of you. But,” she couldn’t hold his gaze and scanned the floor boards for inspiration, “there are folk who care for you and…if you…if you ever just want to get a drink, or talk…” she was tempted to tell him to find someone else to share it with but bit her lip before she could say anything else.

Finally she lifted a shoulder, “I’ll be around. Training courts, rosters…or you know me - probably getting into trouble in some bar…” she offered her own hollow smile. He would find her if he wanted to. She could be a friend. Right now though, she needed to be a distant friend.
word count: 284
Malcolm
Posts: 1099
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 179
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Partner
Personal Journal
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Image
The trouble with Elyna was, just when the man thought he was beginning to read the woman, the book was closed on his face. He rose as she got to her feet and followed her to the door, too tired to argue or ask her to stay a while. The captain had needed a wake up call and the Skyrider had provided him with that, the next step was to bathe, shave his face, and get back to work. She was putting distance between them and while he respected that decision, he knew he would also struggle with it. One step forwards, two steps backwards.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 105
User avatar
Rumour
Prophet of Old
Posts: 2295
Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 3:47 am
Race: Prophet
Renown: 0
Plot Notes
Office
Personal Journal
Templates
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Staff

Events

Sweet Betrayal

Rumour's Review

Elyna


Skills

Skills:
  • Observation: 2
  • Investigation: 1
  • Rhetoric: 1

Knowledge

Basic Knowledge:
  • Venora: Village sickness during Ashan 716
  • Malcolm: Ex-Baron of Krom

Specialized Knowledge:
  • Malcolm: Vanessa Krom broke his heart

Loot & Consequences

Congratulations! You get:
  • Docked pay for each day spent with the Knights during their journey to Krom. Please ensure these days are deducted from your wage request.
  • The Skyriders’ Captain will be keeping a much closer eye on you for the remainder of Ashan 716 as a result of this infraction.


This is a quick reminder to deduct your purchase of the breads, fruit, milk, and tea-herbs from your ledger.

Comments

While there wasn't as much to reward here by way of points, I really enjoyed the peek into Elyna's emotions. Her jealousy of Vanessa and her difficulty being compassionate towards Malcolm seemed true to life and added an extra layer to the story. One small point for you both: I would encourage you to add a new timestamp to your post every time the day changes. I wasn’t sure if Elyna and Malcolm met on the 77th of Ashan or two days later. Otherwise, another great read in this ongoing saga! Just tear my heart out already, why dontcha.


Malcolm


Skills

Skills:
  • Observation: 2
  • Investigation: 1
  • Shield Combat: 1
  • Melee Combat: 1

Knowledge

Basic Knowledge:
  • VII: Criminal faction in the Burning Mountains
  • Veronica: New Knight recruit from Krom
  • Keith: New Knight recruit from Krom
  • Vanessa Krom: Ex-wife

Specialized Knowledge:
  • VII: Attacked Knights during Ashan 716
  • VII: Possible comeback?

Loot & Consequences

Congratulations! You've been stripped of your title, Baron of Krom, as of 77 Ashan 716.

Comments

While there wasn't as much to reward here by way of points, I thought you did a wonderful job of bringing Malcolm's inner thoughts and emotions to life. Of course he would be affected by Vanessa's loss - 40 arcs is a long time to be with someone. I really appreciated the realism, and the fact that this wasn't glossed over. One small point for you both: I would encourage you to add a new timestamp to your post every time the day changes. I wasn’t sure if Elyna and Malcolm met on the 77th of Ashan or two days later. Otherwise, another great read in this ongoing saga! Just tear my heart out already, why dontcha.


If you feel I've missed any skills or knowledge, or if you have any questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thank you!

xoxo
word count: 421
Image

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
Office | Rharne | Rharne Lore | Lightning Knights | Thunder Priestesses | Merchants Guild
Locked Request an XP Review Claim Wealth Thread

Return to “Andaris”