Arc 720, 35 Zi'da
The young woman quietly moved through the streets of the Earth Quarter. Elisabeth had set a task for herself that trial that was long overdue. Perhaps she had hoped she was wrong about her conclusion and the task wouldn’t be necessary, but it was increasingly clear to her that her fears had come to pass.
Cradling a blanket in her arms, she made her way swiftly to the Earth Marketplace. It had been there, early in Vhalar, where she had made an unexpected friend. Their story had been short, lasting only a few trials, but the impact of it, she would carry that for the rest of her life. The mage didn’t have a lot of experience with people, but she knew with certainty that there were just some people that entered one’s life that regardless of time, left traces. Echoes.
Ezner had been one of those people.
They had met in front of some vendor stall she couldn’t recollect. Their real connection began nearby, a small alleyway off the main pathway. Taking a deep breath, Elisabeth forged ahead, finding the spot where she had learned about a man trapped in a life not of his choosing, opening her eyes to a world she despised.
Finding the small set of stone stairs they had sat upon that trial, she lowered herself onto them and finally let her mind remember. The past season, Elisabeth hadn’t dared think about him. She wanted to, for he was a part of her now, but she feared the emotions those thoughts would bring. The young woman hadn’t even spoken of him to anyone else but in truth, it would have been hard to explain why Ezner meant so much to her. There were no assurances she would ever be able to adequately explain the intricacies of what had happened to her during those precious trials, but she felt a deep need to honor him. Perhaps it was closure she was searching for, to put it behind her so she could trick herself into not thinking about it anymore. Elisabeth wasn’t even sure she could…or that she wanted to. Echoes like the ones he left behind were meant to stay with one, to remind them of lessons learned and have a lasting impact.
Clutching the blanket to her chest, she felt the tears begin to fall, just as they had done the trial they met. Ezner was…or had been…a slave. Elisabeth had tried to befriend and help him, but something must have gone horribly wrong. After just a few trials, he had vanished. She tried to find out what happened to him but having been new in Rharne, she hadn’t known who to ask or even how. Her life had gone on, but she never forgot, hoping she would spot him in the street. She had frequented the places she knew he went with his Master, wishing for any sign of him…but there had been nothing. That left the young woman with only a few heartbreaking conclusions. Conclusions she kept to herself for there was no possible way she could explain to anyone, with clarity, how distraught she was.
Ezner had been her first friend. Ever. New to Rharne, having come from a life of shelter and comfort – things Ezner himself never knew – she had allowed him to shatter the illusion created by her own need to ignore the world around her and believe she was not a creature of emotion. That had been a lie of her own creation. She often credited Balthazar for opening her eyes to the world and in part, that was true. Balthazar had saved her…but Ezner was the one that had set her adrift in the first place.
Since his disappearance, she had struggled with feelings of loss, failure, and guilt. Her life had gone on…but maybe it shouldn’t have? Why should she have been able to continue, experiencing life, when Ezner couldn’t. Even if he was still alive, what life was it to be a slave? Shouldn’t her life have been impacted more without him in it considering what he had given her? Shouldn’t she have done more or tried harder to help him?
As the sadness began to overtake her, Elisabeth noticed herself doing things that would help her cope – discipline and such…but she immediately let all that go. Why should she try to control it? His absence caused her sorrow and that feeling deserved to be honored, not pushed away or controlled. Laying her head down on her knees, the sobs began to overwhelm her. All the emotion she had repressed over the season came raging forth, bright and brilliant, spearing through her being. How? How could someone that came into her life so briefly reduce her to a shell of herself when discipline was abandoned?
It was a question she had asked herself over and over, in weak moments when she let herself wonder what happened to him. The subject was painful so usually, she abandoned the line of thinking before she got too far…but that trial was set aside for him. It was time to let her mind find the answers she was looking for.
He had been her friend. The first. Elisabeth had more now, of course, but in a sense, Ezner had seen the truest form of her. Before monsters and magic. Before swords and discipline. Before she knew of friendship and affection. He had seen her when she was invisible to others….and found worth and value where none had before. He had extended comfort to her when his own situation gave him none. And what had she done for him?
Nothing.
She knew she needed to tell someone about him. She needed to talk. But who? Balthazar? She...well, she had deep feelings for him, but she wasn’t ready to classify what those were. All she knew is that she wanted to be a part of his life. The mage was a part of her now and provided strength in the moments she needed it…but he likely wouldn’t understand and there was no desire to put him in an uncomfortable situation. The Elisabeth that Ezner had met was a different creature – even different from the Elisabeth he had known back then. She didn’t have secrets from Balthazar so she would eventually tell him of Ezner but she needed to get her own emotions under better control before starting that conversation. Yeva? More likely. Elisabeth sensed the young woman would be a sympathetic ear and she felt comfortable in her presence.
Then the idea came to her – Vin. Her adoptive father was a good listener and likely would be very objective when it came to his daughter’s feelings. They didn’t have a traditional relationship, but he had always been willing to help her if she asked…and she needed help. Emotions were something she was not prepared to deal with, but she realized the wisdom in trying to come to terms with the sadness. Especially now that she was a mage herself and had to consider the effects of emotions on magic. She hadn’t told Vin & Rilith about being a mage and really didn’t intend on doing so until it was necessary.
A plan was made…but she still had more to do. It wasn’t enough to just think about her friend. She had things left to say to him – words he would never hear but she needed to say them regardless. Wiping tears away from her cheeks, she spoke softly. “Ezner, I’m...I’m sorry. I wanted to help you. I don’t know where you are or even if you are alive. Wherever you might be, I can’t imagine I helped your situation at all and for that, I’m...sorry isn’t even close to what I am. You were my friend and I let you down. I failed you. I can’t make that up to you but maybe I can honor what I promised to do for you and help someone else. But know that you were my first friend, and I will never forget you. I wish you were here, so I could tell you how much you changed my life. We only had a few trials but, in that time, you changed me. You trusted me when you had no reason to and because of that, I opened myself up to others and began learning about trust. I found people that care about me. I don’t know if I would have any of that if it hadn’t been for you. I miss you.”
Sighing softly, Elisabeth rose from the stone steps and placed the blanket she had been holding on to upon them. Scented in orange and lavender, it had been something she planned to gift to him…but they had run out of time. Maybe it would help someone else who needed it.
The young raven-haired woman stepped back from the spot, letting herself remember the conversation that took place there. She needed to talk to someone. It was long past time to tell their story and Elisabeth needed to tell it.
