I don't know where, I'm confused about how as well.

[Faith Augustin]

40th Saun, 718 ~ Obligatory song!

It was the last trial of Saun and so, tonight, there would be stars. Padraig studied stars and he had suggested that they go out and look at them. Faith had agreed, of course, immediately. She tried to say yes to everything that Katie and Cyrus and Luna and Tina and the people at the Order and the shop suggested. Every one of them wanted her to remember and she did not even feel like she had forgotten anything. They all, except Cyrus, talked too brightly, doing their very best but overwhelming her completely with all these emotions and unspoken expectations. Cyrus was calm and quiet, gentle with her and there was no sense of expectation from him, just acceptance. Yet, still, she knew, he wanted her to remember as much for his grandson's sake as anything.

Because then, there was Padraig. Her husband. They had lived their life together these past six trials and he had told her that he loved her, that she was the most beautiful and most clever woman he knew. The bravest, strongest and most determined. That she could beat anything and that they would get through this.

It terrified her.

Because he was talking about Faith. Faith, whose diaries she had read. Faith who had achieved so many things. Faith who he loved so completely and who loved him back so well. A series of events had led, one to the other and had created Faith. a force of nature, as far as the girl could see. Not someone she could be, not like she was now.

And if she did not remember, then she would never be her. She couldn't even think about the children. Heck, she couldn't even refer to herself in the first person.Padraig thought she could be Faith, he said that Faith was inside her, that he could see it. He told her that the very trial she woke up here. Yet, the healer had said, she might never regain her memories. Never be that person.

"That sounds lovely, thank you." she said, her voice it's by-now-usual quiet tone. Cosmo lifted his head up from her lap where it had been resting while she read as she started to move as she spoke to Padraig. She was reading her diaries, writing things in a new journal, trying to spark some kind of memory. She saw the hopeful look in his eyes and shook her head. There was no pressure, they told her, but yet she felt that she was failing them. Failing him. She had all these feelings for him swirling around inside her, many things which she simply did not understand but she put them into her hands and held them there. Because he loved a woman she could not be and for all that she wanted to say a hundred thousand things to him, she smiled in a reserved, careful manner. She had to protect him, because he thought she was someone she was not. Maybe could never be again and yet, there was no denying the feelings she had for him.

"Have you thought of where you would like to go?" She stepped up and kissed him, briefly, on the cheek. "Spending some time with you, just the two of us sounds lovely. How... how are the children?" She wanted to see them, which had taken some time, but she upset them she knew. It left her confused over what to do and her hand slipped into his as she looked up at him. "We could go and look at the stars by the pond we landed in on our first date?" When they were alone, just the two of them, she was more relaxed and she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Are you sure you have time?" Faith asked, her silver eyes turning to look at him. "The children have kept you awake. Plus it is your bed, you could sleep in it. If it was going to trigger my memory," She didn't seem to notice as she reached up to stroke his cheek like she always had used to "there is an argument that it would have done so by now. Plus, you are my husband, by all accounts, we could throw caution to the wind and both sleep in it. You need to rest"

Without dropping her gaze from his, Faith leaned forward; there was hesitation in her eyes and in every aspect of her body language but, if he didn't pull back she kissed him, just briefly, but it was a genuine kiss and definite movement forward. It was certainly the first time she had initiated a kiss between them, although she would return any he instigated dutifully. But this was different. The emotions running through her were far more familiar to him than to her, but she still hadn't sorted out whose were what, nor really grasped the fact that he knew what she was feeling. Yet there was something, a hesitancy which held her back. Still, despite her belief to the contrary, she was very much who she was and she touched her nose against his and whispered. "Maybe we can sleep laying on the ground looking at the stars?"

[Padraig]

Padraig had been spending more time alone with the children than usual. In fact, apart from a couple of failed instances where the twins and Faith had been put in each other's paths, it was almost exclusively him. It was a little exhausting, to be honest. But during those times, while he appeared to be exclusively focused on them, he was also watching and listening. Watching and listening to Katie and Luna and his grandfather and how they approached Faith, and how she responded in return. Oft times, he realized,, the interactions tended to lead to Faith feeling more tense, more confused, more frustrated. Cyrus and his approach was something of an exception. Still, Padraig had begun to wonder if the approach was all wrong. And if it was, he was just as guilty as the others. He'd decided to try something different, after he'd first asked her if she wanted to look at the stars with him.

As much as he wanted her to remember, he realized that he needed to accept the fact that all those memories that had been lost, might never return at all. If that was the case, she might learn to be a mother to her children again, but would she ever again feel the same connection to them? It was them he worried about most. Clearly they were missing their mother. Even when she wasn't with them, they caught glimpses of her through doorways or heard her speaking, and were far too young to understand why she didn't come to them and hold them. For himself, Padraig had realized that he loved her, even if she never remembered. Even if the person he'd fallen in love with arcs ago was a stranger to her and remained a stranger to her, he loved the one she was now. The thing that troubled him however, was whether or not it was the same for her.

He sensed it and felt it, or at least he believed he did. The affection, the closeness that went beyond her sense of duty and reliance. But his feelings got mixed up with hers and he was no longer sure if what he was sensing from her might be wishful thinking. At any rate, a different approach was what he thought might be needed. No more insisting that Faith was in there somewhere. It clearly upset her and frustrated her, put pressure on her that he didn't want her to be feeling. It might, he considered, even make her feel as if his own feelings for her were conditional. They weren't. And besides, her name was the least of all the reminders around them. If those didn't do it, a name that she didn't believe was hers, wouldn't do it.

He'd resolved then that while still answering all her questions, when she asked them, and providing plenty of opportunities to remember, he'd court her anew...in a sense. "The children are fine," he told her when she asked, and he smiled. "They're napping now." The kiss on the cheek brought another smile to his face as he considered where they might go in order to view the stars. Their first date? Well, that was a start. "I think that's a perfect spot. I noticed a high rise on the far side of that pond. Up there, a nice, unobstructed view of the skies I think." But of course he had time. All the time in the world.

Her next words however took him by surprise. Of course, he wasn't about to sleep in the bed alone, after having her abandon it for another. But together? He paused, looking into her eyes, taking in what he could sense of what she was feeling before deciding that yes, she seemed more than comfortable. It didn't seem to be an offer made from duty or pressure that he was applying without being aware or meaning to. "Well yes, I'm your husband," a smile reemerging. There'd have been more to follow, a but or an except...except that Faith rose up on his toes and kissed him before he could say it. Suffice to say he didn't object. He slipped his arms round her waist, returned the gesture in kind and savored it before letting her go.

"Caution to the wind then," he said when she stepped back again. Either the bed, or sleeping under the stars. "I've asked Katie in fact to pack us up a few things. A blanket or two to spread on the ground. A basket of food." There were those things of course, and his telescope that he'd collapsed into a form that made it easier to haul along, strapped to his back. And a domain bag too, stuffed with whatever they might need. He was armed as well. "We've still got a couple breaks of trial light," he said as they left the house side by side. "More than enough time to get us where we're going before sunset."

[Faith Augustin]

The children were fine and napping? "It's difficult for them, they don't understand what's going on." It was difficult for all concerned, she knew and she felt a deep pang of guilt. They, too, needed her to be Faith. Still, she smiled at him slightly and added, "There seems to be a lot of that going around." Certainly in her head, anyhow. "If this continues," she gestured to herself, vaguely, with a sort of hand swirling in front of her head, "do you believe it's better for them not to see me at all or for them to grow used to me not being who they want and expect?" There was a lot of that going around, too, she thought with a slight, almost ironic smile which went nowhere near her eyes.

He liked the idea of where they could go and she nodded, pleased that he did. When she spoke about the bed, he stared intently at her and she could fall into his eyes, she was sure. Looking back at him, she wanted to say so much, but there were too many complicating factors and instead, she kissed him. He kissed her back and it surprised and delighted her that he did. As his arms slipped around her waist, hers wrapped around the back of his neck and she pulled herself to him, her lips not leaving his. "Caution to the wind," she agreed in a whisper. It felt right, being there.

"Katie didn't need to do that." she should have thought and done it herself, Faith thought, not be giving others work or inconveniencing freeborn. Glancing at the telescope as they walked together, her expression remained troubled. "It looks heavy. It would be my pleasure to take it from you." She had to try and a slight smile, teasing him and mocking herself at the same time lifted her lips. "If necessary, by wrestling or tussling until you give in and say you were forced?" Other than intermittent and increasingly ludicrous attempts to wrest the telescope from him, from rockfalls to marauding pygmy bandits, she was quiet as they walked, content to hold his hand and, now and then, throw a stick for the dog who didn't leave her sight.

As they arrived, it was a beautiful place and, once they'd chosen a spot, she started to arrange their things while he set up the telescope. Katie had told her how quiet she was, what a change it was and she supposed that must be difficult for him. So, she came up with something to talk about which was entirely innocent and wouldn't get complicated. "There was a man in work yestertrial," she said, blurting it out, suddenly, because she wasn't entirely sure how she was supposed to start conversations and could not remember ever having done so. "He'd been fighting and had lost, many times. He needed me to help him undress in order for me to wash him and he looked like a slave he was so bruised." She was pleased with herself for having come up with such an interesting and innocuous topic. "He seemed so familiar."

Looking at Padraig she smiled at him, sure that he would be pleased. "Yet he said he had never met me before. He felt the same, or said he did." She shrugged slightly and then carried on with what she was doing until Padraig joined her and she moved to right next to him, lifting her head to kiss him again, this time with less hesitation. There were a hundred things to say and a thousand questions to ask, but this seemed a far preferable way of communicating. Lifting her hand to bury in his hair, she was very much in the moment with him when suddenly, she stopped and pulled back with a deep frown.

"What was that?" It was silent for a moment and then the sounds of muffled cries for help came again and Faith looked at him. "Do you hear that too?" There was no doubting it, there were people shouting, it sounded like shouting for help, nearby. Her lips twitched. "Is it really every date?" Granted, she didn't have a lot of data to go on, but thus far, it was 100%. "Can you make out where it's coming from?"

[Padraig]

Faith's question about the children was one Padraig might have expected sooner or later, or at least he'd realized that it would be one that required thinking about. But, "Not an easy question to answer," he admitted with a solemn smile. "Children are resilient and adaptable and I think that if that's what it came to, Madison and Noah would do very well. But it's only been a short while," he reminded her. "What I think is that you should be around them when you want to and are comfortable with it, and they will respond accordingly." He wasn't sure it was a very good answer, but it was the best one he had at the moment.

"Well she's a fair to middling cook at best," he said, grinning as hand in hand they'd headed downstairs to collect the basket that Katie had made for them. "But I think she's focused on things for our meal that don't need cooking to eat. Bread, cheese, fruit, some cured meats and wine." If he remembered correctly. And some chocolates too, he thought. And no, the telescope wasn't heavy, he told her as they walked along. Though it was, just a little. But no, he also wouldn't let her take any of its weight on herself. "You can however carry the case with the eyepieces in it," he said with a grin. And in the spirit of compromise he handed her the small leather case.

The place they'd chosen to have their picnic, view the stars after the sun went down and in fact perhaps even sleep beneath the night sky, was indeed perfect. There were plenty of trees on the property that, while on flatter ground, would conceal much of the very sky they were attempting to look at. But just a few yards up off the ground, there was nothing to get in the way. Of course Padraig had grown accustomed to Faith being a little more quiet than usual, but it pleased him when she talked, nonetheless. "Familiar?" he said, looking up suddenly from the task of setting up the scope on a patch of level ground that he'd found. The best and most accurate viewing, he'd told faith once, was through a scope that had been given a break or so out in the open, to regulate it's own temperature to that of its surroundings. "In what way?"

But according to her, the man himself had sensed a sort of familiarity...but he wasn't sure? "Did he tell you his name?" Padraig asked, but didn't press no matter how he might be tempted to. It was progress, wasn't it? A sense of familiarity for anything or anyone, that was. At the moment, however, it was difficult to focus on strangers seeming familiar, with her in his arms without hesitation, and a shared kiss that was as passionate and as loving as any they'd ever shared. Naturally it was a gesture and sentiment he returned...All in, that was.

So all in, in fact, that it startled him when she pulled back all of a sudden. "Hear what?" he said. He hadn't heard a thing, truth told. It was only after standing beside her there, wordlessly and really listening, that he began to hear it to. "Yes..." he admitted, with the faintest of grins. "To both." Yes, he heard it. And yes, every date. But where was it coming from? He wasn't at all sure and stepped back and looked at Cosmo. He was hoping that the dog would hear it too and might respond somehow. But no...It didn't seem so. So Pad walked quietly, circling the high patch of ground they were on, trying to get a sense of where the sounds were coming from.

He looked up, off in the distance, on the ground, back and forth until suddenly he stopped, looking down at a patch of ground and frowning. "Look here," he said, crouching down on his heels and brushing away dirt and leaves to reveal a very old section of wood that appeared built into the ground beneath them. "It makes me wonder if the tunnels that we fell into before, were actually part of a mine system. And those sounds? I think they're coming from underneath us."

[Faith Augustin]

It had only been a short while, he reminded her and she looked at him with earnest eyes as she recognized just how much he must hope. She could understand that it was something unbearable for him, both as a husband and a father. Yet still, he smiled at her encouragingly and she nodded. "That makes sense, yes. It would be good to do that." She was much more cautious, careful in her choice of words than she had been before her memories had gone. But no less honest - in some ways, more so because she did not rely on him just knowing. "Currently, we are balancing me being terrified of hurting them or failing them with an incredible sense of emptiness which comes from needing to hold them,." It probably made no sense, she thought, but it was how she felt and the expression in her eyes told the truth of it.

As they walked out, he said that the telescope was not heavy, her glance was somewhat disparaging and, as he handed her the small leather case she sighed. "What has the world come to when the threat of marauding pygmy bandits is insufficient? This is not a compromise." She smiled at him as she said it and realised that she was teasing him, which was most strange as it was not something she usually did. Her expression was half delighted, half apologetic and she said no more on the subject.

Putting the food out, after she had laid the blanket on the floor, she realised that she knew what he would like more of, or less of. How odd, she considered and smiled to herself. She shrugged when he asked in what way her patient had been familiar, she really didn't know. But he asked what his name was and she replied, immediately. "Lucas," There was a surname too and she'd tell him, but there were many more important things afoot and the girl felt his arms around her and the way he returned her kiss and the man Lucas, his name, everything about him was forgotten.

But then, they heard the noise.

He explored, examined and tried to see then Padraig crouched down on to his haunches and she moved over to join him, mirroring his movement. Always, since they first met she had spoken of facts and practicalities, rather than emotions. "It's wood. Yes, that makes sense. We have to help them." It wasn't a question, but she reached out and took his hand. "Even if Faith's memories never return, and even though it makes no sense..." She paused and frowned a deep, concerned frown. "I love you. Without doubt or question and in the depths of my soul." Turning silver and ruby eyes to him, she smiled. "Referring to myself in such a way is difficult." It was the first time the word "I" had escaped her lips since the fall in the kitchen and she met his gaze seriously. "But it is important that you know. Even if Faith never returns, whoever this is that resides in her body loves you and there is no doubt in my mind, or my heart, that you love me too."

For all that her words were heartfelt, she didn't do emotion very well, and the expression on her face was businesslike and she nodded. "We will need to clear away this wood, then, get down there. If it is a mine is it prone to collapsing? That would be unfortunate." Sitting back on her heels she looked at him. "When we have to take the waste and rubbish down through the tunnels to the gardens, to put in the composter, we have to walk over some very precarious places." There were boarded up tunnels and such, she explained where slaves had tried to escape and been simply blocked in the tunnel, boards put over the entrance and then left there with the slave inside. "Usually, one or more of us would have to sit outside and wait for them to die. As a lesson, a reminder." It had been a long time since she had spoken so calmly and non judgmentally about the horrors of Athart - accepting it. "We learn to walk on the outer edges, as the middle is more prone to give way and crumble beneath us." At which point, of course, they were left there too. Looking up at him, though, she simply smiled and gestured. "We should find the edges, get this open?"

[Padraig]

Padraig did hope. He couldn't begin to deny it and even if he tried, Faith would sense it and she'd know better. He wanted her to remember. But he'd also come to the conclusion that if she didn't, if she never did, then that was alright. There'd been time and experiences in between that she couldn't remember, but Padraig loved her now, just as much or more than ever. If she never remembered Faith, well then they'd get to know each other all over again. He loved her. That bit wasn't in question. He only wondered if she could love him when all those memories were gone. And he worried about the children. They were simply too young to understand any of this. And for them to simply accept that things had changed overnight, required a level of deep thinking that was beyond children as young as them.

"I think," he considered thoughtfully when she said she'd been longing to hold the twins, "that there's no reason why you shouldn't? They're clever and perceptive, I think they'll let you know how they're feeling when it happens. Then? We adjust accordingly," he suggested. Meaning there was no reason not to try, and if the twins didn't want it, they'd certainly let it be known. There was a risk to that, Padraig figured. But the truth was that there was no predicting how Madison and Noan would respond, until they actually did it.

"It's as close to compromise as you'll get," he teased her then with a grin, when all he'd hand over was the case that held the telescope lenses. "You've got the more important job there anyway. They're very fragile after all. I guess you don't remember, but you gave me this telescope, which replaced another that you'd give me before. The first one was knocked around on an expedition." As for the name Lucas, Padraig frowned when she revealed the name of her patient, and realized that he didn't recognize the name at all. Surely though, she'd seen the man before? Maybe he was one of her regular patients? Padraig kept those suggestions to himself, however. It was probably just wishful thinking.

The real question though, was what was anyone doing down there? That was Padraig's first thought when Faith agreed that yes, they'd discovered a patch of wood that must be part of an underground tunnel system. A mine shaft, perhaps and probably an abandoned one. She caught him by surprise however when she took his hand and spoke. Could she know that what she was saying, was exactly what he'd been needing to hear? Her eyes told him, and he sensed through their connection that she'd been needing to say it. So surely she knew that the reverse was also true. Padraig smiled and squeezed her hand, then rested his forehead against hers.

"If she doesn't return, then we'll make new memories together," he promised. "All of us. You and me, the children. We'll make a whole lifetime of them. As long as we have each other and....I love you," he said, and kissed her gently. Our hearts know each other, and that's all that matters."[/b] But of course she was always the practical one, and it was back to worrying about those voices they both were hearing. "I guess it depends on how old it is, and how well the tunnels were reinforced once they were bored through," he said when Faith asked about collapse. And also, the composition of the soil and rock would play a hand in things, he guessed. "By the looks of the wood," he grunted as he grabbed hold of a section and heaved back on it till it splintered a little, "it's been here for quite a long time. As long as a century maybe."

The section that they'd fallen into before had been in fairly good condition, he pointed out. But that didn't mean that all of it was. It was shocking though to hear her talk about the past so matter of factly. A past that he didn't know, and hadn't known because in all likelihood, she'd kept it from him. Her treatment then, what she'd seen and experienced herself, made it seem by comparison that Tristan had treated her like a queen. He still hated the guy, but to hear this now, well, it wasn't easy. "No one should ever be subjected to that. Not you. Not anyone. Not ever," he said and apparently there was a good bit of feeling behind it, since as he said it, the most of the wooden section broke away in his hands.

Sitting back on his haunches then, he looked at her and smiled a little. "Well, there's our way in. And I think if you look in your sack there...You might find a spelunking kit." There was a teasing edge to his voice, and he grinned a little when he said it, though he wasn't convinced that it would spark any memories. "I never thought I'd say it. But I think we might actually need the thing now."

[Faith Augustin]

She was pleased, more than a little pleased, at the idea that she had got him the telescope. "Do you like it?" She shook her head. "That was a stupid and impulsive question. My apologies." She nodded, though, at the story of the expedition. "It is in the diaries." Glancing at him with a more piercing gaze than had been her norm since the amnesia began, she added, "both times. You have been quite unwell and should not carry heavy things." She raised an eyebrow almost challenging but entirely teasing. "Pretending they are not is bad for your soul and that they are is bad for your back."

It was idyllic, though, and she was developing a real state of content as the two of them kissed, but that noise? There was no doubting it was someone in pain, someone afraid. They found the wood and he agreed about the possibility of this being a mineshaft or something like it. But she couldn't hold it any more, and so she spoke and told him what she had wanted to tell him for trials now. His gaze on her as she spoke spoke volumes and she felt a sudden, almost overwhelming sense of relief even before he smiled and squeezed her hand. She was doing well, she thought and then, he spoke and she felt tears threaten. "That's very reassuring to know," she whispered when he told her he loved her. She'd thought he did, but really wasn't sure. and she would have explained that but he kissed her and she returned the gesture and sentiment fully. Her arms wrapped around him and she held herself close to him. "Yes, they do." Their hearts and souls, that was.

But they had to help the people down there, there was no doubt in her mind and so, reluctantly, she stepped out of his embrace and they considered the wood. He started to break it open but it didn't seem to be coming easily. She really thought that they might want to try and find the edge, in case the bit they were on might break and she used an example to explain that to him, but the swell of anger from him and his words told her that he was not happy. No on should be subjected to that? "Why not?" She asked, and genuinely looked, sounded and felt confused. "It is up to the owner of something what they do with it, is it not? Whether that is a table, a teapot or a slave" When the wood snapped in his hands, though, she flinched. It was an unconscious thing and she immediately stopped herself, leaning forward and putting her hand on his. "There is no need to be angry. It's fine. It brought me to you, didn't it?" Lifting his hand, she frowned and motioned. "Nothing to get splinters over," Gently, expertly though she did it without thought, she removed said splinter and looked at him, concern on her face.

He smiled, though and she returned the expression. "Yes, we did." find the exit that was. "Very clever of you too." He directed her to look in the bag though and she did. "What on Idalos is a...." She stopped then, suddenly, mid sentence and a deep frown creased her forehead. "The.. we weren't here, were we?" As the single memory hit her, she looked confused "it was snowing and there's a helmet. With a chin strap." She hadn't taken the kit out of the bag yet, but she knew. "It's cave exploring. You told me that." Her eyes were locked on his, the confusion on her face testimony to the feelings she had. "Every morning, we kissed, but" Her hand reached for his and grabbed on. "We were talking about sharing a bedroll in a tent. We were, weren't we? My concern was that you might hang off the edge, which seems ludicrous, but probably has context. Is this.. is this right?" Looking at him, she couldn't deny the surge of hope which went through her. Was it a real memory?

Of course, though, within trill of her asking that, of it hitting her that she did remember something, the voices called again from down below. They were more able to be made out now that there was an opening and the cries for help could be clearly heard. "We should... there's a rope. How do we do this?" Looking at him she smiled slightly, cautiously and with a little trepidation. "We have all the time in the world to worry about why you want to hang off a bedroll and I made an oversized nightgown and kissed you in it. These people might not. You should lower me down first, because I... I am lighter than you, and not strong enough to lower you." It made sense to her, anyhow. "Yes?"

[Padraig]

"It was not in the least a stupid question. And of course I liked it," Padraig said, smiling down at Faith when she asked about the telescope. "I love it. The first one, and this, the new and improved second one. Thanks to your gift, I don't have to go off and climb the stairs at a university tower, in order to see things that other stargazers can only dream of." And he was not unwell any longer, he said, gently scolding her when she protested yet again about the load he was carrying. Or at least, he was swiftly on the mend and wasn't willing to be fussed over in that regard any longer.

Did she doubt it, he asked when she said that his declaration of love was reassuring. Surely, she could feel and sense what he was feeling? If their shared marks weren't enough, it was simply their way with each other, to share, feel and know those things. Nice to hear it said, now and then, however. Of course it did occur to him, albeit belatedly that it would be better to hack away at the wood structure beneath them, from the edges rather than anywhere near the middle. Still, it wasn't so belatedly that it risked the ground giving way beneath them, and a gaping hole swallowing them up.

"Slaves aren't teapots or table," he said when Faith tried to soothe away his response to what she'd told him. "They are people." Wincing a little as Faith plucked a splinter from his hand, Padraig frowned and sat back briefly. "It's wrong...and I know you don't remember, and that's alright. But even if you don't, I couldn't be prouder that it was you that has undone it, back on Scalvoris." But then? She seemed to remember something out of the blue, or perhaps the memory had been prompted by his offhanded remark about the spelunking kit. It didn't matter why. It only mattered that it had happened.

"No, we weren't here," he confirmed, and watched Faith carefully as she sorted through her own confusion. He said no more than that initially. He wanted to avoid 'feeding' her memory, after all. If she was remembering something, then he wanted to know that it was her, and not him. "Yes, cave exploring," he confirmed with a smile. She was clearly remembering things, though the memories seemed to be mixed and matched and out of order. It didn't matter. It was progress and he was careful not to do anything that would cause her to feel pressured or rushed. "We bought bedrolls for a two man tent," he explained when she asked if that was right. "You bought a spelunking kit, and it was the first thing you'd ever purchased with your own money."

She was concerned, he added, that he'd fall off the edge of the bed in their home back in Andaris, when she'd first moved in with him after Tristan freed her. "But I never did fall off," he teased her with a grin. "Somehow we both found our way to the middle, and to each other." Naturally then the voices interrupted them and he frowned a little as something occurred to him. 'You know, these tunnels are bound to have been here and abandoned for decades if not longer. Meaning that if anyone had been trapped there during that time, and stayed that way, they'd have perished long ago. Which means that either, someone who has been recently traveling through the tunnels is trapped, or....Have you read anything in those diaries yet about Faith and ghosts?" As it happened, Padraig had his own knack where ghosts were concerned. But he didn't want to alarm her, if it was something she wasn't aware of already.

There was only one way to find out, anyway. Yes, she asked? "No," he said, and grinned while he picked the rope and other gear from the spelunking kit. "This pulley system attaches to the nearest solid object....That tree will do," he said once he identified one, and he attached the thing just as it should be, and then he stepped into the harness and buckled it in place. "I'll go first in order to make sure the rope and pulley holds. Once I'm down there, pull the harness back up, strap it on and come on down," Padraig said, smiling at her as he dropped away backwards into the hole in the ground and began lowering himself in. And once he was there, he unbuckled the harness and called up to her. "Ready? The rope and harness is all yours."

[Faith Augustin]

"Not doubt it, no." she replied, softly and thoughtfully when he asked if she doubted his declaration or his feelings. "You say that all these feelings are yours and mine. Before waking up, it had been a long time since.." Frowning slightly, she looked at him and didn't want to upset him, but it was true. "Feelings, emotions, they tell us they are not ours to have. We learn that they are dangerous, weaknesses to be removed. We are taught to put our emotions into our hands." Did he know that already, she wondered. Still, the point wasn't that. "So it is difficult sorting which are mine and how to deal with them, before checking that it is what you are feeling, not my wish and hope for what you feel." Feeling her own emotions was overwhelming and she was still sorting through those, she explained with an earnest gaze in her silver eyes as she looked at him. Adding his into the mix, she said with a smile, well it left her a little confused sometimes was all.

Her eyebrow quirked as he winced when she took the splinter out. Quietly and deferentially - in a way he had seen very genuinely over the last few trials but which was fake in this moment - she mumbled, "My apologies." Then, however, she smiled at him and her expression was mischief. "Let me know if you feel faint, yes?" She might have teased him further, but the memory of sitting there, showing him a spelunking kit and worrying about them acting like siblings hit her and she sat back, holding on to his hand as she did. It was an overwhelming experience, but there was one thing which she had to say, which he had to know. "It was nearly two arcs ago, it says it in the diaries." Of course, she didn't forget anything - ironically - so she remembered the date from the diaries. "This feeling? These feelings. They were..." She shook her head, no. No, she wasn't doing it like this, not avoiding saying it. "I loved you then, Padraig. Just like I love you now"

When he asked about the ghosts, though, she smiled at him. "They're everywhere. All the time." It had unnerved her at first, she said, but she'd realised quickly enough what it meant and she remembered well that her entire life had been in service to Famula - the Immortal that the slavers had taught her about from her earliest memory. "It might be that they are ghosts, that is right. It might also be that they fell down a hole like we did, and have wandered and become trapped, is it not?" She admitted though, the former was more likely. He wasn't having any of her well reasoned and clearly constructed argument about being lighter. Still, she didn't have a leg to stand on, so down her went and then, carefully strapping herself into the harness, she followed him.

Even getting down there, as she lowered herself down his hands were there to catch and help her and she looked at him with eyes which filled with emotion. "Come on then, Professor," she said, unbuckling the harness and gesturing forward. "Lets see what we can fine, shall we?" As they moved forward, she glanced at him. "People might consider it odd that you talk to me about Faith as though she is not me. Perhaps, if this continues, you should consider giving me a name." It didn't occur to her that she could choose her own for a myriad of reasons. Either way, they moved forward and she took hold of his hand. "Can you see them too?" Her eyes were wide in amazement at so many ghosts down here. "So many people have died here. What is this place?"

[Padraig]

Frowning deeply and pausing in what they were doing, Padraig considered what Faith was saying about feelings, and what she'd always done with them before she and he had met. And now? It was all she remembered doing with them. "I'm not sure that I'd thought of why you did it." Feelings into hands, he meant. "I mean," he said, attempting to explain and feeling he was doing it awkwardly. "I thought you did it because feelings overwhelmed you, because it was a coping mechanism. Not because it was them who taught and expected you to do it." Both of those reasons made sense, Padraig thought. That she was told to by others, only compounded upon the sins committed by others against her. But if it had been her choice? It wasn't uncommon he guessed for people who were traumatized in some way to invent ways to reach a state of numbness.

It wasn't a topic he cared to dwell on, in honesty. Still, he smiled and shrugged helplessly as they prepared to drop down through the hole in the ground. "It must feel strangely disconcerting to be able to sense what I'm feeling, and to feel it too. It was certainly strange for me at the beginning, and it was a little overwhelming sometimes. It's the marks we share...And promise you'll tell me if it becomes too much." Padraig didn't say it, and it certainly wasn't something he'd ever prefer. But if it was too much for her and began to upset her, they could if need be reverse that particular ability until such a time she wanted it back.

"You'll know," he'd teased her and suddenly grinned when she teased him first about fainting. There were tendencies and weaknesses after all, that meant it was a very good thing that as a scientist, he hadn't gone into medicine. "If I start babbling away about physics and the nature of the universe and can't be stopped, you'll know I'm close to fainting away." But yes, it was nearly two arcs ago and it was in the dead of winter, he told her. He was home alone and she had shown up at his door with wet feet and crystals of ice and snow in her hair and on her lashes. Tristan had just freed her and there she was, looking like a bedraggled cat come in from the wet and cold. And he'd loved her then just as he loved her now.

So, ghosts, maybe, and down they went into the hole in the ground, that turned out to be a tunnel of sorts that hadn't seen any use or foot traffic in quite a long time. Or at least it appeared that way to Padraig when he got his first look around. "I suppose so," he said, frowning when Faith suggested that the voices might not actually be disembodied ones, but genuine living people. "If they fell through however, obviously they didn't do it here. It's very possible, probably even likely that part of this complex extends under land that isn't ours. And not telling how many ways in there are."

But it only took a trill or two before he began seeing what Faith also saw, once she came down where he was. There was a time that he'd thought that if he could only see what she was seeing, the presence of spirits around them wouldn't bother him as much. Turned out, not so much. "Not nearly like you do," he uttered and then frowned and swatted at the dark around them as a cobweb became wrapped round his face. "Some sort of mine?" he guessed. "If a number of people died here maybe there was a collapse. Or more than one over time. Maybe coal, copper, silver....gold? Or diamonds," he said, grinning just a little again. "That would be something, yeah, us sitting on top of a diamond mine?"

As for her name, it was a less comfortable topic than even an underground chamber full of ghosts looking on. He guessed however that eventually if she didn't remember, it was something they'd have to consider. After all, if she didn't identify with the name, and it felt to her as if they were speaking about a stranger who was not her, was it fair? Padraig guessed not. "It's not my place to name you," he said and shook his head. "You are your own person, with a will and a mind of your own. Any name you go by, ought to be one that you choose for yourself."