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16th of Zi'da 718

Once an isolated and dying township, an influx of academics, adventurers and thrill seekers have made Scalvoris Town their home. From scholars' tea shops to a new satellite campus for Viden Academy, this is an exciting place to visit or make your home!

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Korva
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Posts: 435
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:47 am
Race: Biqaj
Profession: Fisherman/Woodworker
Renown: 90
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Speaking in Tongues

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16th of Zi'da, 718
*Speaking Rakahi
*Speaking Common


Scalvoris was an odd little city. A history rich in piracy, an island split into cities that couldn’t be more different if they tried but perhaps strangest of all was that there was never a day that wasn’t strange. But perhaps even stranger still was that so few would remember it, for any that participated would never know that had, fewer still would believe it. After all, who wouldn’t remember words that had spoken only moments before? Yet all over the city it was happening, to some in the middle of normal conversation:

“But what do you think it means?”

“No clue, red rain, the weather, them stars, theres something going on, dontcha agree, Don?”

The third man would look to the table blankly, his face losing pallor as he spoke, eyes falling half mast when the voice the gurgled out of him like death responded,

“Immortals only watch in disdain
For they know Scalvoris will run red again
But it will not be the just rain
All will suffer, as they enjoy our pain”

“What in the fek are you talking about?”

“Wacha mean? Don’t go yelling at me cause your drunk, Sam!”

“I’m not the one cracking poor jokes!”

And on the table would bicker, poor Don arguing till he was red in the face for reasons other than alcohol, the Biqaj woman staring in surprised wonder at what had just taken place. But Korva would know better than to stick around where a fight was brewing, slipping out to the streets where it would be much of the same. Only some were cursed to speak only in riddles, some coming cruelly from the mouths of children, as cruel words can.

“Momma see that there?
It will steal all your air
We best stay away
Lest sea monsters come to play”

The child was pointing at the waters glistening in the distance as her mother swept her up, hushing her urgently and judging by the pace of her walk Korva had no doubt where she was headed. Where many people were likely headed, straight to the Order for some sort of cure other than silence. But it rippled among everyone like someone had skipped a stone, now that the Biqaj had heard one person speak strangely, so too did everyone around her.

The sellers in the stall,

“But two for one
I’ll not be outdone
For that seller over there
They can’t compare
They not got any backbone
No blood on there hands
For there is no better food
Than those stolen from others hands”

The workers giving orders,

“You’ll do as I say
Or they’ll be Faldruns balls to pay
Not just the sea that will get you
It will be me too”

For once, the woman would wonder if opening her mouth would be worth it and just how much of these little rhymes were exactly as they seemed and how many were jokes of strange magic worked by Immortal or man. Yet it wouldn’t stop her from wandering and listening, lips pursed in thought as the voices mingled, deep and dark from throats it shouldn’t be possible or high and sweet with overtones of malice woven in the words. Now that she thought of if, even her thoughts seemed like strange poetry, far off from her usual tone but such was the day that would only grow darker still.

**Made by the awesome Kes
word count: 589
ન'ઊળઇ૯ ૧એ૪ઇ૮ ઔનઌઈઇ પઇ, પબ ઇબઇ૮ ૯રશ૧ મકઇ ૧એબ. --Korva
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Korva
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Posts: 435
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:47 am
Race: Biqaj
Profession: Fisherman/Woodworker
Renown: 90
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Re: Speaking in Tongues

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*Speaking Rakahi
*Speaking Common


“See how the rain?
It only brought pain
A warning for all
But it was too small
So more they sent
Till all their powers are spent
The day of the end is near
But will we even be here?”

Gloomy words all around, the more she heard the more the Biqaj was tempted to sleep the day away but it wasn’t meant to be. For the moment her legs touched her boats she knew something was amiss. But there was nothing that caught her eye but her feet moved every so cautiously below, peering around as the voice cut through her thoughts.

“You thought you’d escape,”

It rang out from the depths. Farther than below her room yet coming from right behind her, a familiar voice that she’d hope she wouldn’t hear again, the very sound of it making her sides throb. But even then Korva couldn’t find the courage to turn as the suns sank, the splash of water could not be mistaken for sudden rains either. It sent the Biqaj into a near silent frenzy as the voice continued.

“That you could hide within a land dwellers landscape,
But I can exchange a tail for leg,”

The soft splat of a wet foot on the first step, the curious voices at what no doubt was a strange colored creature boarding her ship, coming below deck like she belonged. We are both of U’frek, the Biqaj would think but it wouldn’t stop her heart from sinking. Her spine tense as she turned as slow she dared to.

“Just so that I may beg,
So that you can repay,
All to make your debt go away.”

The final words were a hiss in her face, those strange eyes peering deep into hers like that of a hungry sharks. If she had stayed in the tavern she wouldn’t not be in this position but that was how hindsight worked. Always perfect after the fact. Licking her lips Korva would finally dare to speak though her voice was hardly more than a squeak, the fresh again memory of claws in her side, the way the water had pressed around her threatening instead of comforting.

“And what would you have me do?
Sink to the bottom of the blue?
There was nothing to do but wait
Until your thirst I could sate.”

“And sate my thirst you shall
For on the days of darkest cold
All my worlds wonders you will behold
There is no going back now
And on that day you will repay
For a great beast we shall slay.”

“You think to highly of me,
But soon enough you’ll see
That mistake you’ve made
When you agreed to this trade.”

The silence followed the warning but the Mer nodded as if she knew just as much but would take her payment regardless. A push, a shove, the feelings invaded her mind with ferocity but the underwent of fear was not just her own. There was nothing she could think of that would scare a creature with such teach but whatever it was she had gone to great lengths to ensure the Biqaj would help. Warnings all day spoke of nothing but ill but this seems to be U’freks will. No matter how her cousin scared her she could not turn a blind eye.

“You speak the truth
Though we will wish it was false
But this task we take
It is not only for our sake
If this creature cannot be stopped
Then the Mer will rise and Scalvoris will pay
For the one we seek comes out of the bay.”

All around her the splash of waves picked up until Korva could only nod slowly, agreeing now on her own terms instead of desperation. The lap of waves sounding louder as if recording and applauding her asinine decision that would only lead to things as ominous as the days strange words had predicted.

All the while the Mer with legs stepped ever closer until her lips nearly pressed against Korva’s own, her hands danced along her sides. It was so reminiscent of when she near drown the Biqaj could only shudder, eyes whirling much like her thoughts as the salt tasting lips pressed to her own with finality. And she pulled away her final words whispered by her ears like a ghosts.

“The waters are ours cousin,
There is no hiding from us
There is no hiding from him
Soon we’ll be together again.”

The Mer released the woman, her feet sounding up the steps far more silent than when she’d come. As if she held it the whole time the breathe slipped from her lungs, as if she was drowning once more. But instead of the calming silence of the water, all around her more dire promises rang, speaking of the terrible things to come as if they’d already passed. The finality in them reminding her of her heavy promise. Of the magics more powerful than words she was meant to use. The image of a girl and a locket being a cold comfort to cling to as her thoughts slowed, the previous words slipping from her head though they left their sense of dread.

So it could not stand the test of time, all those words though they were said in rhyme neither would would remember the meeting. Neither would recall what was said though a Mer would definitely come for Korvas head if she did not make good on her promise.

**Made by the awesome Kes
word count: 940
ન'ઊળઇ૯ ૧એ૪ઇ૮ ઔનઌઈઇ પઇ, પબ ઇબઇ૮ ૯રશ૧ મકઇ ૧એબ. --Korva
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Whisper
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:36 pm
Race: Prophet
Profession: Storyteller
Renown: 394
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Re: Speaking in Tongues

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Korva


Awarded Points
10
These points can/cannot be spent in magic


Awarded Knowledge
Storytelling: Rhyming in stanza
Linguistics: Comprehending meaning from poetry
Detection: Knowing when you are caught
Persuasion: Telling the truth to talk your way out of a debt
Negotiation: A kiss to seal the deals
Discipline: Owning up to when you are lying

Mer: Can create legs
Mer: Cousins of the Biqaj


Awarded Extras
Loot & Losses
  • None

Injuries
  • Muscle Strain: Lasting 3 days

Renown
  • None



Comments

Poetry aside, as a general rule it is harder for a reader to read centred writing - I would suggest justifying or left-aligning the main prose. Additionally, that gold-shaded font on a blue background is tricky on the eyes.
In other new, the writing was well done, and relatively fast paced. Like I said, I had to re-read bits because of the colours and formatting, which broke the flow, but there was nothing wrong with the story :)


If you have any questions, comments or criticism about your review, feel free to send me a PM and we can discuss it.
Thank ye.
word count: 183
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