Moon & Stars

[Faith Augustin]

"No, that's not true," she said and shook her head. So quick, always so quick to take the blame for something, to think he'd done it wrong. "I knew I loved you in that tomb and I wanted to tell you so badly. When you said that, I couldn't speak because if I did I'd have told you." Faith leaned into his embrace. "And when Tristan freed me I was too overwhelmed. You were protecting me, both times, and it was the right thing to do. It's what you've always done." She smiled, then, "even when the best I manage to tell you how I feel is pistachios and eyebaths or room keys." Her fingers entwined in his and she looked down at their hands there together. "Tristan made me no longer a slave, Padraig. You set me free, long before then and every trial after."

Faith hated to cry in front of him, but he just gently wiped her tears away and held her whilst she calmed herself. It was relief which allowed the tears to flow, of course, because he was alright, he wasn't diseased or injured and he still felt for her what he had. She understood that Pash had seen what he had, but at the end of the trial it was what Padraig experienced which won out in terms of that and he was, very much, the expert on what he was feeling. What she was feeling in that moment was simple and pure relief.

His assessment of the quiet though, that provoked a smile back from her and she nodded. "We have become suspicious of silence. Oh dear." That was what having six people and a collection of animals which ranged from wolf and dog to cat and owl, not to mention the ghost did to you, she supposed.

He was right about opinions, she understood that and she told him so. It was just hard when everyone was acting out of love and Faith wanted to please them, to make it something that everyone was happy with. Her words gave him pause though and he looked up in surprise. 'Children?' He asked, his face showing more of his emotions than he ever did with anyone else, she knew. Her immediate instinct was to assume that she shouldn't have mentioned it, that she should apologize, but their tendency to miscommunicate, to misunderstand and jump to the wrong conclusion had lessened a lot since Vhalar last arc. So, she was quiet and she listened and she watched him as the thoughts and feelings flew across his expression.

Did she? Faith raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a gentle nudge in the ribs, "I asked first, you know." She hadn't, actually, asked anything and she knew that. But, in principle she had. Sort of. Still, it was a moment of levity, a brief tease before she answered and she did it at least partly because she needed to gather what she would say.

"I'm afraid," she answered, after a moment. "Afraid of seeing you grieve like I saw and still see, for all that you try not to show it. I'm afraid of grieving the same way." Not aware of how much their minds were working in the same way, she had avoided speaking to him because he knew, they both knew. What more needed to be said, after all? "That fear will never go away so we'll just have to get past it. And underneath that fear there are a whole raft of other ones about not being good enough, having no frame of reference, that kind of thing." He knew them, he'd heard them. Yet, fundamentally? "Do I? Yes, as much as ever. More. But only when it's something we both want. Not a bit before, only then." Lifting her hand to his cheek, she looked at him with an earnest and forthright gaze, "not because it's what I want, or because it's what you do. Only when it's what we want." Faith was clear on that, uncompromising even. "Whenever that is, I don't want it till then."

[Padraig]

"I have to admit that for all the ways you show me, each trial, how you feel," Padraig said, looking deep into her eyes and then teasing her, "it's the eyebaths I could go without." But she did show him, each trial, and while words were largely unnecessary between them, they were also nice. But then they could argue the trial through over who'd loved who first, and he would have claimed and firmly believed that he'd loved Faith before he even knew her. Little else might convince him, as a scientist, to put much stock in fate or destiny. But that might.

Suspicious of silence however, fair enough. "And rightly so, I think," he told her and smiled, lifting a brow as he asked, "After all, Cosmo may be napping in Luna's room. But do we know where Quattro is and what she's up to?" Last time the four tailed cat was this quiet she'd leaped and lunged at a bird she'd been watching for over a break, outside the kitchen and had brought down curtains and all sorts of odds and ends with her.

"Technically, you did not," Padraig insisted when she said she'd asked first. But then after a few trills, the smile faded and his expression turned more solemn. "I'm afraid too," he told her, while keeping one of her hands in his. "But then I realize that had we never experienced what we did, it's possible that neither of us would have ever considered that maybe, we do want children. Love comes with the risk of loss." Before they'd met, he told her, he'd resolved that he'd never marry, that his was a mind suited for science and he had no time or desire for romantic love. But she'd come along and changed that.

"I swore I didn't like children," he reminded her. And he had to admit that there were still some children he wasn't particularly fond of. Like the boy of ten or so that walked past their gate every morning and stopped to rattle it violently, just because. "You and I both swore we didn't want them. But here we are," Padraig said and smiled again. "I do want them. Very much. I want to marry you, and to have children with you." And it would be nice, he added, if in the process they took their home back from all the chaos that was surrounding them. "You know I enjoy having my grandfather here. And even Katie, because she makes him happy. But I was thinking about the lot next door. The empty one?" he said.

He was thinking, he added, that he might look into purchasing that lot and building a small house on it for his grandfather, but attach it to their own with a wide covered porch where everyone could gather together or go back and forth whenever they pleased. "I've gotten the impression that my grandfather would like to stay in Scalvoris. But I also think there's more than our own privacy, there's his and Katie's. They might like a place of their own while still remaining close. What do you think?" he asked.

[Faith Augustin]

His hand around hers tightened, just slightly and he admitted his own fear. Faith knew how hard it had been for him to watch her after Rharne, coupled with dealing with his own grief. She knew how much it had hurt him, because she had felt the same and they had needed to re-emerge as individuals and as a couple. They had done that, and the result had been that they were stronger in both states.

The slightest frown creased her forehead when he told her that he'd had no time or desire for romantic love before he met her and she buried her hand in his hair, running her fingers through it as she looked into his amber eyes. There were no words, not a one that she could say which did justice to how she felt in that moment. She wanted to tell him, but she couldn't and equally she knew she didn't have to. He already knew.

"Oh," she said when he said that he wanted children, very much. It wasn't even really an utterance so much as a half-noise, semi-squeak that Faith was largely unaware she'd made.

She was still reeling from that, he went on to talk about building a house on the lot next to theirs and Faith grabbed on to that as a conversation which was probably why he did it, she realised. He knew her, body, heart and soul. This was something factual, something concrete that she could hold on to.

He outlined a plan, which Faith listened to with careful consideration. When he asked her what she thought, Faith breathed in, steadying herself and her voice. Mostly. "I'd like it to be something we both do, together. We have the money in the joint bank account," which only she ever paid money into. He was an odd creature she thought, but then realised something and she stopped and frowned. "Did I tell you I opened that account? I remember telling you I was going to, but I don't recall telling you I did." Faith looked at him rather sheepishly. "Ooops?"

Then, with a fake cheeky grin she added, "Oh, guess what? I opened us that bank account. On the first of Ashan," she couldn't keep up the pretense at that point. "I'm sorry. It's been so busy. I am sorry." Faith genuinely had meant to tell him, "I thought you were just weird for not putting money in there. But there's just over five thousand nel in there, and it's ours, so we can use it to pay for the lot next door and the house building." She smiled, knowing that he'd understand, "I keep some money for trial to trial stuff, but I like the idea of there being an account that's ours. Not my money or yours, ours. For our things, with our family. That I'm part of." Such little things to those who could take it for granted, but huge to her. Although she did have the good grace to add, "And which we both know about," with an apologetic squeeze of his hand.

The desire for their finances to be together notwithstanding, Faith's response to the idea itself was simple. It was an excellent plan as long as it was what Cyrus and Katie were happy with. She didn't want them to feel unwelcome because they were most certainly not, but equally she understood that as a couple they might want their privacy. Also, it would be rather nice to have their home back, she admitted.

Having calmed herself enough to be able to go back to the conversation topic before houses, Faith held on to his hand and looked at it. There were a hundred thoughts running through her head in the trill before she did that and she had been going to ask, was he sure, was it really what he wanted? But then she looked down at his hand, wrapped around hers and everything that simple gesture represented. She nodded and then smiled, "I'll stop taking the herbs, then." Looking back up at him her eyes had tears in them again but of a very different kind; she let out an almost laugh as she felt a swell of delight hit her. It was quickly followed by an equally strong fear and she breathed in, then out again. "Are you hungry? You've had a few pieces of bread and you've only just got home. I can cook. You know that, I know." Leaning into his arms, she wrapped hers around him and just held on there. "You're right, you know, I don't trust that cat."

[Padraig]

Oh? Just oh? Padraig grinned nonetheless in response. She probably didn't need to say much more. There were volumes spoken, right there in Faith's expression after he confirmed that he did in fact want children. "Alright then," he said, and no sooner than he had, she started talking about bank accounts and housing arrangements.

"You didn't," he responded, still smiling when she wondered if she'd mentioned it. Not that he'd thought much about it. If he was to put any of his funds in the bank for saving or investment, it would be a genuine first. Was he weird for not doing it? That was debatable. However now it appeared there was no reason not to. It would be preferable to the current arrangement. "I'll make a deposit then, since the account's already there." Ultimately though, Padraig believed that Cyrus and Katie would enjoy having their own place, their privacy, and in turn it would give Faith and himself some of their own back. Something they were in need of, he thought.

So she'd stop taking the herbs, and while there were tears in her eyes, similar to before, he realized that these were different. Very different. "We'll be parents then, you and I," he told her as she melted into him, and he dipped his head so that his cheek rested in her hair. With everything that had gone on since since he'd arrived home and in fact since he'd left for Immortal's tongue, it occurred to him that he hadn't eaten at all, except for that bread. She was right. He was starving.

[Incubus]

Faith

Knowledge
Caregiving: Helping someone bathe
Caregiving: Teaching how to hold a cup
Caregiving: Teaching how to eat with your hands
Caregiving: Being aware of the need for small steps in the indoctrinated
Psychology: The toll of trauma is often unseen
Psychology: Trauma by association happens
Psychology: Development of identity
Psychology: Techniques for rebuilding identity
Socialization: Confused individuals need clarity of speech
Sociology: Small group interactions with traumatized individuals
Sociology: Impacts of abuse on communication
Sociology: Identity formation requires groups to identify with

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: +1
Devotion: Vri: Confess love (+3), Pray to Vri (+1)

Points: 15

Padraig

Knowledge
Caregiving: Encouraging, not ordering
Caregiving: Identify people and places where a vulnerable person feels safe
Caregiving: Sometimes, time is all you can give.
Caregiving: Speak quietly, smile to calm down the nervous
Caergiving: Reassuring someone who is emotional
Discipline: Not showing a deeply felt emotional response
Discipline: Horror is difficult to hide
Discipline: Not showing amusement at a strange response
Leadership: Knowing when to let someone make their own decisions
Leadership: Clear communication is key to a successful outcome
Psychology: Techniques for rebuilding a broken identity
Psychology: Traumatized behaviors

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: +1
Devotion: Qylios: Be a beacon of light to someone (+3), Hope in despair (+4)

Points: 15

Comments: If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please let me know.