Learning How To Be Dead

[Egaro]

Vhalar 60th, 718

For thirty Trials or so, Egaro honed his mind and body. Ever since he emerged from the Beneath, he had it in his mind that he did not wish to become like the Phantoms languishing in the dark, nor the lost souls that were shredded away in their weakness.

He could see the world now in a new light. The pulsating, inviting warmth was all around, and as he felt little save for his emotions, it drew him in. He hovered silently in contemplation above a sleeping, slumbering man every night for Trials at Harpy’s Inn, tempted to enter inside them, to follow that baser instinct, but he came to the conclusion that to do so would be amoral, and that it might draw an unhealthy reputation to the inn and its customers. I cannot, he thought. It isn’t right.

Instead, he traveled to Lake Novalus, his other Anchor in Rharne. Part of him wanted to check on his father back in Melrath through the sword he’d sent, but he didn’t know if he was ready to give his old man the news that he had died, even worse that he had not passed on. Was that a selfish choice? Egaro wondered.

The Cold Cycle had begun. There were few travelers out on the misty shores that morning as he strolled beneath the stone cliffs across the winding pathways familiar to him. The further he strayed from familiarity, the more he felt choked, his body growing heavier. It appeared to him that these pathways and the shoreline were to be his haunt - not deeper into the lake, nor out in the woods and cliffs beyond the trail that had been blazed.

It was somber to think he would only ever know such a small world through the Inn and the Lake. I must remain committed. My death happened maybe without reason, but perhaps there was one. I will serve the Induk, and protect the Anak. I will make sure the denizens of Rharne understand the importance of them.

Staring out over the cool waters, Egaro stretched his arms forward, wondering what this spectral body was capable of. His interactions with the man who taught him some things, Mr. Shulk, were fleeting at best, so he opted to explore on his own. He brought his palms closer to him, looking over them. If I could look more real, maybe others could see me as they see each other, alive instead of a ghostly cloth? he wondered.

Shutting his eyes, Egaro let his mind wander through his incorporeal form, getting a feel for how things worked. In time, he understood he had a sort of heartbeat, only it was everywhere at once, like a song constantly playing through his body. The music that animates my soul, can I make it play a different tune? Flexing his hands open and shut, he focused on the sensation emanating through his being, the vibrations. They were vibrating very fast, and his instinct was to still this feeling.

Reaching out with his mind, he actively tried to anchor those sensations down, to steal away frequency from the energy. As he did, he watched his translucent hand begin to darken, his body flickering to a more corporeal form as Egaro commanded the Flux of his body to become more solid, but it never got its color back - it was pale, a bright blue ‘cloth’ that only thickened as he lowered the resonance.

With a sigh, he deemed it a failure when he couldn’t get the color right. Worse, it made him feel exhausted, these simple acts highly taxing on his soul. He felt so hungry all the time, and while he had learned how to feed on instinct, he felt so guilty taking the energy from the sleeping humans back at the inn. I need to feed, perhaps I can feed on the animals? he wondered.

Reversing the process of his Flux, he animated the energy in his body to vibrate more intensely until he began to dim, growing more and more translucent until he was a faint distortion in the air. From then on, he walked the path in search of life, placing his hands on the local trees and feeling some semblance of warmth coming from them. Not animals... trees and plants?

Reaching into himself, he began to focus on that hunger which allowed him to open his soul to the tree, trying to draw upon its essence. It just didn't work, so he gave up after a few bits. He wondered if he wasn't strong enough, so instead he let himself be fed by the ambient energies of his anchor as he always had, sitting put down in the roots of the tree and crossing his legs. He sat there, waiting to recuperate his energies. Bits turned to Breaks, but boredom took hold quickly, and the sun slowly moved through the sky as he rested. Soon it was dark, and he finally felt sated to continue his exploration of the world he was alloted in unlife. Is there any way to inhabit a body not my own? he wondered next, knowing he had watched the traveling guests of the inn sleep, feeling a compulsion to inhabit their warmth. He had the suspicion that this would work, but he didn’t know for sure, and he didn’t want to harm the living. Far from it.

From the path he began to walk down to the shore, stopping at the blackened edge of the water. He gave it hesitation for a moment, and then he stepped into it, wading into the deep black abyss. A fish, or a crawdad. Any kind of small animal might be easy enough to catch and satisfy this itch. As he tried to swim normally, he was glad to find that he could pull himself along through the liquid, though it felt thick and viscous unlike when he was alive, as if he were suspended in honey.

This faint invisibility kept him from being seen by the floating shadow of a fish swimming up in the moonlight. From beneath, he reached for it, his hand wrapping around a large lake fish. The moment his fingers clutched it, he pulled himself closer, lowering his head into it. It was rough, a heave of his essence into the living thing. It felt like he was tangled up in a too-tight jacket as he fit his body into the small vessel that began to writhe violently in the water - it clearly felt alarmed, but he pushed on, not willing to letting the weak animal shake him free. I’m sorry, little one, he thought of the creature. I will let you free when I am done, please don’t die.

The fish jumped out of the water and hit with a splash, and in that moment Egaro’s mind began to inhabit behind the aquatic animal’s eyes, wresting control. It was shaky and imperfect, but all the possessor did was float once he took control, the fish-eye view of the underwater world taking shape. The eyes were sensitive to the moonlight, which penetrated down to the deepest depths to give him a view of the murky bottom littered with stones and silt. He remembered that he should be breathing, and so he took a breath, feeling the water push through his gills, the otherworldly taste and smell of it filling his mind. It was a strange feeling, sucking the air from the water.

More life came to him, and his tailfin twitched to life as he felt more of the body, shaking himself to elicit motion from the still creature. The way it moved was strange and alien, and even though he began to move, he couldn’t swim straight easily. There was a pattern to it that he hadn’t yet learned, but at least he caught on to the fact that there was one, and he began to study it.

In time, he got the hang of it, but he too felt starved. As exhilarating as the experience was, as much as it made him feel alive again, he could feel his energy waning just as he managed to learn how to swim in a straight line and change direction. He fluttered about for as long as he could, but eventually he had to push his way out of the fish, decoupling his ethereal body and pulling himself free to float in the moonlit waters as the fish bolted away in a panic.

This is how I will live my life. I will become the animals of the lake, and I will excise the will of the spirits through them. It was all coming together, and the more he thought about how he could use these abilities to gain back some of the agency he had in life, the more at peace he felt with his current situation. Vri be damned, I will thrive in the afterlife!

[Abra]

Egaro

Rewards

Knowledges:

Skill:

Materialization: Flux to become more solid
Materialization: Even utilizing Flux to appear solid, you will never look alive
Possession: Adapting to the Body of a Fish
Possession: Possessing a Fish
Syphon: Opening The Soul to Feed
Syphon: Failing to feed on life due to being a lower class of ghost

Loot:
Injuries:
Wealth:
Renown:

EXP:10

Feedback

It was oddly satisfying to read about a ghost who was trying to get a hold of… being a ghost. Reading how Egaro tested out his newfound abilities made sense to me even though I’m very unfamiliar with how ghosts work. I loved the final paragraph the most, where he comes to terms with his ghostly state and spits in the face of Vri. Enjoy your rewards.