The Random Number Generation

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Mads
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The Random Number Generation

718 Vhalar 26...

Sometimes life didn’t go the way you wanted it to.

Sometimes you tripped and soiled your neat, recently purchased blouse, got chased by a pack of hungry dogs, or couldn’t pay the landlord’s due on time. Sometimes you lost your job, got evicted without proper notice, or got mugged by a band of low-lives with an unquestionable lack of hygiene. Sometimes things that should have gone your way simply don’t.

And then sometimes you get assailed by a figment of what should have been a harmless product of a idle reverie, have your shoulders torn up by literal imagination, get dragged by a cannibal into a door that halfway across the world into a land where blood is worshipped, people are eaten, shrubbery and Necromancy are one and the same, and worse of all: you’re living on the unearned charity of a retiree and her son, both cannibals and, even more damningly, possessed of what should be in a sane world the most despised sorceries of all.

Sometimes you miss cleaning up Finn’s messes. Sometimes you even miss labouring under Torvyn and his old, horrid voice screaming those old, horrid demands.

And sometimes going home might finding a very tiny, very invisible needle in a haystack the size of eternity.

“Okay.” Zipper said, surveying the infinite expanse of gaping wounds that served as doors into the sleeping mind. “This shouldn’t take long.” There were, after all, only a million and a half doors in the veil. Finding one that could guide her into Etzos was going to be a piece of cake… A fitting analogy because she could not even digest cake for the life of her. She stared on, doing nothing, not moving an inch, wondering where she should even begin searching.

Where else? The wound closest to her.

“Should we not… mark the doors we enter?” Mathias stood right behind her, bright eyes surveying the vast slab of granite before them. “Or do they… reset?”

“There’s a way to mark them.” Zipper said. “I’ll just run out of chalk before I’m through with-” Ten of them? Twenty? When she branded Mathias, she felt a piece of herself carved into him; permanent, everlasting, impossible to take back - clearly a mistake in hindsight. Zipper was not one for sentiment, but something more meaningful should have been her first brand. Her home back in Etzos, for example. Or literally anyone who wasn’t a fucking Abrogator and, less damningly, a cannibal. “No, no, that won’t do, shield maiden. We’re going in blind.”

“And coming out the same.” He didn’t seem to worry either way, but it was clear he now better understood just how abysmal their chances were to stumble upon the correct door. No matter how long they tried for, they would be starting from the same odds every time. “I will go first, then.”

His gallantry, if intended, was neither appreciated nor welcome. She did not take her body this time. Not after that fiasco with the dream flyer. The goal was to find a dreamscape within Etzos or close enough to it - Hell, she’d take drunken Rharne or religiously crazed Ne’hear before she stepped a foot into Quacia - brand it, emerge into the real world, drag her body towards the door, and return home sweet home.

Graciana had told Mathias to accompany her to shop for some appropriate garments, but she had insisted that they try to find the right dreamscape before they committed to her stay in Quacia. She really, really, really did not want to see the city, no matter how much the old woman assured her the so-called creep creatures were kept in check far away. Which she hadn’t done a very good job of, now that she thought about it.

He stepped in and she followed.

The streets dark, narrow, and winding twisted through the ramshackle buildings like cracks along a cheap, colorless vase. Lights, pale and sickly yellow, drifted through the air like motes of dust. There was the distinct scent of blood in the air; the coppery tang of it immediately assailed the senses, even before the door sealed itself shut behind them.

They entered into a poorly cobbled courtyard, two figures frozen before them. One was tall and angular, his bony body shroud in what seem to be a cloak made, quite literally, of shadows. His eyes burned green, more flame than iris, and his long, crooked nose was nearly raven-like. The other was short and stout, like a teapot, with a shock of fuzzy red hair and a dramatically over-defiant glare in his eyes. Both held swords, points pressed into the neck of the other - though the shorter, red-haired one was forced upon the tips of his toes to reach -, and neither moved a muscle.

“This looks like-” Mathias started, but the moment his voice broke the silence, the two figures erupted into motion.

“You think you can best me?” The shadowed, beak-nosed man hissed, thin lips parting to reveal jagged shark teeth. “You are but a child!”

“Age is but an illusion. one need not gauge physical growth-” the child said calmly. “-when it comes to justice.”

As if cued, the pair immediately turned to stare at the newcomers. All four of them waited for several trills before the red-headed baby child spoke again, a whine of exasperation in his voice.

“You guys gonna roll or not?” The child said, staring straight at Mathias. His arms were folded, his fingers tapping impatiently against his elbows. “Chop, chop, justice is on a timer, laddie.”

“I kill without compassion.” The beak-nosed one intoned ominously. “But even I would not slay time so wastefully. Roll before the grave take you all.”

Fiona and Mathias exchanged looks.

“I don’t think this is the dream I’m looking for. I’m going to leave-”

But Mathias had, at last, noticed the die in his hand. His bright eyes lit with curiosity, which was raised and leveled with Zipper’s confusion turned exasperation as she realized what he was about to do. “I am going to roll it.” Without hesitation, he cast it onto the ground, and at least three pairs of eyes watched it tumble along the uneven cobbles until it came to rest. It was a curious thing: twenty sides with numbers carved as digits.

It landed on a 9.

“Would that be for me or him? Justice demands it, laddie.” The child said, this time his gaze was set on Fiona.

“And sense demands that I leave. Good fuckity bye, folks.” Zipper flicked her fingers, materializing a door-

“What is ‘fuckity’?” The child asked when a whole lot of nothing happened.

The dark clad man shook his head. “I am evil, the laments of the innocent spill forth where I walk, yet I would not even think to use such words in front of a child.”

Mathias fetched the die from the ground and rose back to his feet. “If it is a matter of choosing, then-”

“No, no,” The child waved his fat little hands in the air, shaking his fuzzy head. “You have to roll for it, lassie.”

“And not you,” The beak-nosed man glared at Mathias. “But you.” His buring green eyes like flames in shadows shifted to focus on Zipper once more. “The deed must be done by that dark and twisted creature who would be my equal were it not for the fact she is not.”

“She’s the evilest,” the child added helpfully. The beak-nosed man scoffed. A stream of noxious pollution flowed freely from his nostrils. Such was his evil that every breath he took killed the world.

“Mathias,” Zipper said in a low, dangerous voice, her eyes still fixed on this weird, mismatched pair. “We are going.”

He opened his mouth as if he were going to protest, but instead he chose to close it and nod. This time it was his turn to extended his hand forward, reaching for the pearl and-

There was nothing.

He continued to paw the air like some sort of paint-faced pantomimer, searching for their exit, but the man and the child seemed to have lost whatever modicum of patience they had. “Have you no idea how justice works?” The child puffed his pudgy chest, voice booming with dramatic, over-done bravado. “You hold our fate in your hands, and we hold yours in ours!” To make his point, both he and the man extended their hands and, nestled neatly in their palms, were similarly crafted dice - one in each, both twenty-sided.

In response, Zipper threw her die straight at the head of the beak-nosed man.

The child quickly dropped his own, and it landed on 16 before Zipper’s was even halfway through the air. Her aim had been a bit off initially, but there was a sudden gust of wind and it knocked the little projectile back on track, allowing it to bounce of off the man’s forehead - just slightly off centre.

“Okay, this is a cuntin’ waste of time and I am out of here. You wanna stay with these fucks?” Zipper gestured dramatically with both hands towards beakie and kiddie. “Be my guest-”

The kid quickly picked up his die and dropped it again.

It landed on a 7-

And Zipper found herself turning around, words blurting out of her mouth unbidden, her eyes swimming with confusion and sheer fuckin’ hatred. “Then..., again… maybe this is… a great idea. We should see…. This confrontation to… its end.”

Mathias blinked blankly. “This is going to be an interesting game.”
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Re: The Random Number Generation

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“For justice!” the child shouted.

“For power!” the man cried.

“Whose turn is it to roll?” Mathias wondered.

But Zipper’s die at last came to rest on 12, and the moment it did, the beak-nosed man stumbled forward, sword narrowly missing the child’s neck.

“By the dark powers of Hell, how could my blade strike false?” The beak-nosed man hissed evilly.

“Haha!” The child puffed his chest once more and waved a hand at Zipper. “Now me, lassie!”

“Fiona rolls again? What about-” Mathias deliberately sprinkled in a helping of confusion in his voice, but the beak-nosed man waved the question off.

“She rolled to see which of us your roll affected, she has yet to cast the lot of chance, drawing upon the occult powers of darkness and the shadows it encapsulates, to determine this poor, foolish, bright-eyed youth’s doomed future.” More poisonous fumes billowed from his nostrils.

“No, I’m not rolling again.” Fiona said. She flicked her hand once more, the image of a passageway forming-

The beak-nosed man bounded up to her and pecked her the face. She stumbled backwards, her hands rising fast to her face, and the die clattered to the ground-

15.

“By evil’s beard!” Beaknose screeched, his talons pulling at his hair-feathers. “By darkness’s song! This cannot be happening.”

The child smirked and flicked his hand in the same way the now face-clutching Zipper had done to summon her door. A building rumble took the area, growing stronger and stronger, rising to a crescendo that shook the entire city, giving birth to a great meteor from the ground that rose up and smashed through the city, killing the fuck out of thousands.

“They didn’t believe in the free market, my friends.” The child assured them. “There’s no justice to be had for their lives.”

“Ah.” Mathias said non-commitably as he tossed his die to the ground, bright eyes on Beakface.

Zipper just continued clutching her face. A muffled My fuckin’ nose could be heard from within her hands.

Empowered by the blood of the tiny, free market-challenged people of the city, the meteor returned to its original target: the beak-nosed man. It raced across the now ruined husk of the city, darting needlessly side to side to emulate some kind of high-speed chase for no real reason at all. As the meteor neared its target, the child leapt onto it, landing gracefully on a blood-swathed rock going at… well, it was going really fast.

Mathias’ die landed on 2.

Beakface, sword drawn, moved to skewer the child, only instead, he tripped over his own feet, let out a loud, woeful, “No!”, and tumbled to the ground, sword clattering against the cobbles.

The meteor smacked straight into him and smashed him so deep into the pavement that the final impact was heard rather than seen.

As the city reassembled itself and the participants were dragged up from the depths of their skirmish, the grievous damage to the evil one was apparent to everyone who wasn’t clutching their face in agony: Beaknose had lost an entire finger.

“Two out of ten! They said I couldn’t do it, but the free market knows no boundaries, that’s why it’s free!”

“Lassie, it’s your turn-”

Fiona flicked again, one hand still on her face, the frame of the door to the veil coming back into view-

The beak-nosed man dropped his die, muttering a solemn, “Though shadows cannot be bound, this is something I must do, steeped in evil, in order to bring about the change necessary. For power.”

It landed on 18 right as Zipper took her first step-

And was dropped to the ground by Mathias’ roundhouse kick to her stomach - signalled only by a soft, “Hu-” that escaped from his lips right before the impact hit.

Her die fell from an open palm: 19.

“The dark gods have abandoned me!” Beaknose screamed dramatically to the black heavens. “I will have my revenge!”

The child smirked and the city began to lose cohesion, fading in and out and then away to give rise to a empty field of dirt. A great roar was heard from the distance, echoed by a thousand others, and from the Horizon rose a great dragon-like creature.

Yet it was not. Somehow in the minds of the spectators, the word Die-no-sore came into being.

It was joined by a second creature, a great-mawed beast with tiny arms, a great tail, and a gait that could crush even the largest ego. More of them followed behind: great beasts with huge sails on their backs, a four-legged lizard with spikes trailing all the way down to its tail, another one that had armor beyond any beast and a spiked club its tail. They came in the thousands and then they stopped all at once, a great wall of huge reptiles standing strong against their one true enemy.

And they chanted in unison: “We will enjoy economic expansion, individual freedom, and unlimited bliss by fully deregulating and privatizing society's socio-economic institutions!”

“NEVER!” Beakface screamed defiantly. “EVIL AND OPPRESSION WILL ALWAYS REIGN.”

But try as he might, the denouement by a herd of extinct animals had broken his spirit much more than he was willing to admit. He was hurt in the soul.

Mathias, far more willing than his partner, rolled his die around when the man screamed “oppression”.

13.

Beakface charged forward, shadows swelling and swirling, sword in both hands now as he jabbed it deep into the middle of the little red-headed boy’s portly stomach.

The child grit his square, blocky teeth. “You’ll have to do better than that to tip the scales… of… JUSTICE!”

The child opened his mouth wide and fired a laser at the fallen Zipper’s hand, nudging it towards the die. The hand made contact and the die rolled lazily to the side, plopping over a few times before it unveiled-

17.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” Beakface screeched, growing great hands of shadow from his shoulders. “TYRANNY WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR KING.”

“No, Justice will!” the child exclaimed. He flexed his considerable stomach, breaking both blades and sending the beaked one flying back. He mouth distended like a great snake, and mustache after moustache poured forth from within. Within 10 bits, he had summoned forth an army of hair to deal the final blow.

Mathias called out a helpful, “19!” as his die landed, before kneeling down beside the now sputtering Zipper and whispering a quiet, “Are you alright?”

The great hands of shadow collided with man-child and his moustaches, clawing and scratching and tearing and, on one end, grooming into each other. “I am not one to kill children! Let you be the first.”

“JUSTICE.” The child screamed, eyes ablazed with insanity. “JUSTICE.”

“Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself!” the short-clawed dye-no-sore called out to the child in encouragement.

“The most important facet of the free market is that no exchange takes place unless there is mutual benefit.” The great sailed creature cried out, urging the child towards justice.

“People think that the free market is a philosophy!” This time it was a three-horned creature with a great frill. “They think it is an ideal! It is none of those things! It is a law and right of every living being!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” screamed the child, pushing with all his might against the shadows and the beak-nosed one. “ROLL THE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Zipper looked up at Mathias, looked at the sight of a beak-nosed man facing off against a child and his army of moustaches, cheered on by yet another army of huge reptiles who didn’t seem very keen on lending their considerable weight to the fight, and flicked her hand.

Successfully and without interruption this time.

“IN. FUCKIN’ IN.” she screamed. Mathias quickly tossed his die, scooped Zipper off of the ground, hauled her into a half stumble, and lurched forward through the portal.

The shrieks and screams suggested something chaotic happened, but the rift was closed too quickly for either of them to get a good look - not that an attempt was made in the first place. Passing through the wound released them of whatever hold the dreamscape held, and Mathias quickly released Zipper - at a speed that suggested he was well aware he should be keeping his hands to himself. She dusted herself off as if she had been drenched in mud, a little seething sound emitting from her.

“Well,” He gazed out at the many, many doors and let out a soft sigh through his nose. ”That is… one down.”

“I would,” Zipper said in a tone that told him all she wanted to hear was ‘yes and yes alone’. “Like to take that offer for new clothes now.”
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Re: The Random Number Generation


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Name: Zipper and Mads

Knowledge: Nope


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Points: 15 each
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Comments:

I think this was a beautiful collaboration. Several times I laughed aloud.

A timeless conflict of law versus freedom, order versus chaos, discipline versus determination, Tyranny versus the Free Market, told within the backdrop of an epic dice roll battle. I thought this was a brilliant concept and an easy, yet stimulating read by both of you. You two have a great chemistry writing, and it wasn't easy for a dimwit like me to determine who was writing which passages.

If you feel I've missed anything or if you have questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thanks!

Please add the following stamp to your thread when you can, so people know that your thread has been reviewed.
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*Havardr*
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