Kneeling on the floor of the room in a dream, Faith held her daughter in her arms and she sobbed. As she did that, she felt Tristan's arms wrap around her and she turned her head in to his shoulder, mirroring the move into Padraig's in the waking world. Her sobbing was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before and the great gulping hiccup-sobs wracked her thin body both asleep and awake.
For as long as he held her there in the dream, Faith leaned into Tristan's arms and looked down at the baby they had made together through a blur of tears. The baby was beautiful, it was her baby, but her baby wasn't Tristan's. How could this be? It wasn't what they had discussed, it wasn't what made any sense.
It wasn't, couldn't be, real.
Yet she wanted it to be. When he had given her freedom, Faith had been tempted to stay with him. If she had, this would have been what happened, she knew. But it wasn't. Tristan had owned her, then he had set her free. He had taught her so many things and she loved him; she would always love him.
But she wasn't in love with him.
PB's eyes narrowed, watching her. "Faith, love, say somethin'. You ok?" Faith shook her head no, no she was not ok. This was not ok. She needed Padraig, because he made it all make sense. When Tristan said that she'd left Padraig on Scalvoris, though, Faith shook her head. "No, I didn't. He just got home to-trial and no one herded him. Did you know that you can herd dolphins?" Holding on to the baby, Faith was nestled in Tristan's arms and looked up at him with eyes filled with tears, still. "But he brought home an injured girl, they'd hurt her, Tristan and we're looking after her. That was to-trial. I didn't leave him. I'll never leave him, I'm his and he's mine."
With genuine gratitude in her expression, she looked at him and added, "You held the door open for him. You taught me so much and it meant that I was ready to be in love and to be loved back." Looking down at the baby, Faith placed a kiss on her forehead. "She's beautiful, Tristan, but she isn't mine." She handed her back to her father.
"My Rose passed over. Vri told me. I didn't leave Padraig, Tristan. I'll never do that. I want a baby, I want to be a mother more than I can tell you. But this beautiful girl isn't mine." Faith had trouble letting the baby out of her arms, but she did. Her lower lip was quivering, trembling in an attempt to stop the tears which fell as she looked at the little girl who could be hers, then at the man who could be.
"She's yours, and you're hers. But I'm his, and he's mine. This is an illusion, based on what we were but not what we've become." She breathed in and looked at him, then lifted her hand to his cheek, just briefly. "You taught me that I'm a person. I'd not trade a minute of it, not a single trill or bit. But I have to go home." Looking down at the baby in his arms, hot tears spilled anew.
Standing, then, she held out a hand to PB, who solemnly handed her a handkerchief. It was the one Tristan had given her the night he set her free. "I'll always love you, my friend. Always." She had no more words, and if she stayed here another moment she would lose her battle with staying lucid, so she clicked her heels together and her magic shoes took her home.
PB, who remained there, smiled at Tristan, just a little sadly. "He made all her dreams come true, you know? I'm sorry mate." He sighed slightly, then opened his mouth again, "but really, what you wanna remember..."
As Faith awoke, sobbing, the chalk rabbit disappeared.
Off Topic
OMG. So much emotion. I wish we could keep writing it, but she's so overwhelmed with emotions and sobbing so hard, she's kind of bound to wake up at this point! Look forward to your reply - but I've got tissues ready too!
