• Closed • Unwelcome news

[Faith Augustin]

4th Cylus, 717

Following: this and then this

There was no longer any doubting it and she had to tell him. What she had suspected just a few trials ago when Nir'wei first came to her room in the Order of the Adunih in Rharne was true. He had the Rot and there was, as yet, no cure. At this point, he was considered to be terminally ill. Everything that was happening to her, the sudden pregnancy which was almost over as soon as it began was a rollercoaster of emotions which she was struggling with. This on top of it was too much, but Faith knew that she had no such luxury. Now, she had a job to do, a duty to perform.

She was going to tell him. Then she was going to treat his symptoms. That was all any doctor could do.

Except then Faith determined, she was going to cure him. She had sworn that she would do this by Famula and by Vri. She was beginning to understand just what a job she had taken on but, when she had told Padraig he had been as supportive as she knew he would be but, equally, he was worried about the emotional strain on her and the baby. He'd tried not to caution her to start preparing for the worst, but he'd wanted to. She knew him too well for anything else. Then, however, as he held her he'd said that he believed, without a doubt, that if anyone could it was her. That was more than enough.

So, the heavily pregnant former slave made her way to Nir'wei's room. He was in a room of his own, one of a few the order had. She tapped on the door and walked in, smiling to see him. He was sitting up in his bed, looking cleaner and more well kempt than she'd ever seen him. By every Immortal she wished he looked his usual grubby and scruffy self. The coagulant was working and she smiled as she waddled in. "Good morning. How are you feeling?" It was what everyone asked him, she was sure, but the doctor in her just couldn't help herself.

"I have news, Nir'wei. We know what it is, how we're going to treat it and what the plan is." She'd done this before, told people they were dying; it was the worst bit of her job in many ways. Death itself, after all, wasn't an issue to her but the upset that this news caused, that was what did it.

Placing her hand on her stomach, Faith realised that she had done that and removed it. "I need you to listen to me, Nir'wei, alright?" Sitting next to him, she took his hand. "The disease that you have is called 'The Rot'. I have here medicines which will help alleviate the symptoms." She looked at him and breathed in. She'd done this before and it was never easy, but this? This was unbearable.

"I've already started looking at a cure. There is a treatment in Etzos which has helped. I am going to dedicate my every effort, Nir'wei and I'm not going to stop till I find it. But right now, it is a slow degenerative disease with a life expectancy of about thirty arcs. Right now, until I find it, there is no known cure." She stopped there and just gave him the time he needed. Because that, that right there was more than enough information for anyone to take in. But every time that she'd done this, it had become evident that giving the diagnosis was key, because only then could the patient start to make sense.

[Nir'wei]

Small. Clean. He had to admit, even though it was more than he'd ever had before, the patient room of the Order of Adunih outpost was possibly one of the most uncomfortable places he'd ever had to stay in before. The door had no lock; various members of the Order, doctors and nurses and whomever else wished a moment of his time were free to enter at a moment's notice and although most at least gave the courtesy to knock before entering, it still removed all sense of privacy. Before admission, he'd been told to thoroughly clean every part of his body... and when he'd tried and apparently failed miserably at the task, someone in a green cloak had been assigned to help. His fingernails and toenails were trimmed and cleaned, hands and feet scrubbed, nose and ears and eyes and teeth. The long, wispy hairs over his chin and lip had been trimmed away. They'd wanted to cut his hair down, claiming there could be parasites on his scalp - which, in all fairness, there probably was - but he'd protested enough that they settled with a light trim, helping to even out the tangled mess, before they combed it through and tied it back in a neat little bun. Even his clothes, dirty and stained beyond the help of soap and water, had been discarded. Now he sat in borrowed garments, loose-fitting grey cotton that didn't really smell of anything at all. He didn't even look like Nir'wei anymore.

Jasper, Greyhide and Malice weren't allowed into the Outpost either. He knew they were all sitting just outside the crowded entrance; he'd covered Malice in the horse's blanket and given his own to Jasper and Greyhide to share since he knew he wouldn't be using it for a while. They'd at least be protected from any bad weather... and he had every confidence in Greyhide that the wolf would be able to protect the others as well. It still felt horrible being separated from them all. He'd made a promise to never abandon them... and they'd all stuck by him, even through all this mess. When this was over, when the doctors found out what was wrong and when they cured him, he'd be sure to repay the three of them... he'd go out and buy the biggest salmon and the freshest deer he could find for Jasper and Greyhide. He didn't know what he could get for Malice but he'd find something the horse wouldn't spit back in his face, too.

Nir'wei was sat, thinking through all the things he could finally do when this was all over, when there was a tapping at the door. "Come in!" It was still a surprise to see Faith so... pregnant. Perhaps it was just that they hadn't seen one-another in much longer than he'd thought, but she seemed to grow bigger by the day. "I'm exactly the same as I've been the last ten times," he muttered, but the warm smile on his face only widened as he scooted over on the bed to make a little room for Faith to sit nearby on the bed. "Now, what's the real reason you're here?"

Suddenly, everything was a blur. She'd worked it out - they all knew what he had, it wasn't some mystery disease that they couldn't cure like he'd first worried when the incompetent doctor back in Rynmere had shrugged his shoulders and sent him on his way. They could treat him. Whatever the stuff was that Faith had first given to him was certainly helping with the condition, reducing the constant bleeding in both frequency and potency, even if the headaches were still as unbearable as they'd always been. Now they knew exactly what he had, they could give him the proper medicine needed. But... wait...

All the relief faded from his face as the words sunk in. No known cure. Slow, degenerative disease. His tongue slipped out along his lips, but it didn't do anything to stem the sudden dryness in his mouth; it felt like rubbing sandpaper along wood. For a long time, complete silence hung heavy in the room; even the clatter outside of doctors, nurses and patients seemed to have stopped. "So... that's it, huh." It was exactly as he'd feared all along. The fear that he'd constantly kept at bay by telling himself that he was overreacting, that it wasn't fatal, that of course there would be a cure, they had a cure for everything these days. "I've got thirty arcs left to live. And... this... is going to get worse. That's what degenerative means, right? It just gets worse and worse until it... ends." He wasn't crying. It was much deeper than that. He just felt cold. Cold in a way that no blankets, hot water or hugs could relieve.

He forced himself to look up at his hands, which he hadn't realized he'd started staring at for no reason. She'd find a cure. Then his eyes slid down to her heavily-pregnant stomach. She wouldn't find a cure. She had a child to care for, a life to live... one that was now likely significantly longer than his own. He'd live out the rest of his life in pain and agony, and then he'd die, and she'd go on to have children, and grandchildren, with her loving husband. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel envy, but then, Faith had spent her life working hard - incredibly hard. The only painful times in his life, he could count on the fingers of one hand. He'd lived a good life. "Thirty years is... it's not that bad," he lied.

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[Faith Augustin]

There was a process that he would have to go through, she knew. Faith, as a doctor, had needed to give this kind of news before. Not often, thankfully, but she had. She'd also spoken to the doctor at the other facility where she had done a lot of her research. It would happen in stages, she knew, the acceptance of what was happening. He asked her if 'that was it' and spoke a basic, but very clear, understanding of what was happening. "Right now, that's the worse case scenario, Nir'wei, yes." Faith's voice was soft, gentle and encouraging but it was not in his best interests to lie to him.

She didn't want to correct the single mistake he'd made there, but she needed to. He had to know the truth. "This is something you were born with. The average age someone with this condition lives to is thirty. There has been a treatment, however, in Etzos which has extended that to fifty. I've written to the doctor there. So, we're looking at fifty arcs of age at this point, but I'm not stopping there." With the Etzos treatment he was right, in so far as having thirty arcs left, but without it? Well she had to be clear. She saw him look at her swollen stomach, her friend who needed her to be here for him right now. He must be worried, must be concerned that she would abandon him.

"I've already spoken with Padraig. He is in agreement. We need to spend some time getting exactly the right treatment now to lessen the symptoms as much as possible, to extend your life expectancy from the ten arcs it would be to the thirty arcs with the Etzos treatment. All of that is within current medicine, Nir'wei." Faith breathed in and then spoke again, determination in her voice. "Then, I'm going to spend as long as I need to finding a cure, Nir'wei. I won't stop, I won't give up and I won't abandon that search."

She sat, still and calm as she always did, her back straight and her silver eyes solemn as she looked at him. "I'm sorry, Nir'wei. This isn't fair and I want to be your friend and cry with you. But I'm not going to do that." She'd done it in private, but only Padraig knew that and only he ever would. "Because you are my family and I love you. So I'm going to fix this." If looking determined won any battles, she was at a tactical advantage, that was for certain. "Do you have questions?"

[Nir'wei]

He spoke clearly, but his mind was still wrapping itself around Faith's words, and every time he thought he'd found purchase she tugged it away and he fumbled. It made sense that he would catch something, he should have known that disease would be all the more common outside the cities, messing around in the forests as he so often did, working with animals. He'd spent more breaks than he cared to mention cleaning parasites out of pelts, treating fungus and minor infections with what limited medicinal practice overlapped with general animal care. He'd hunted, sliced and yes, even eaten animals he'd hunted, never thinking twice for the parasites and illnesses they may have harboured in their lives. It didn't surprise him that one day a more serious illness would take hold and he'd be forced to seek real aid instead of simply sitting and waiting for it to pass as it normally, naturally did. But Rynmere was a temperate place. Not a place one commonly associated with incurable, terminal illness. He didn't think it'd be possible to catch something of this calibre. To think he'd always had it? That he'd always had a ticking biological time-bomb lodged in his body, slowly eating away for twenty arcs until it could reach something dangerous and then completely ruin his life in a matter of trials...

"Ten arcs. I've got ten arcs, if that, before I start living on borrowed time." Saying it like that, so bluntly, almost made Nir'wei turn to Faith and tell her not to bother with the Etzos treatment. Knowing that things were only going to get worse as time went on, it was a short span to work with. He didn't know what exactly the Etzos treatment consisted of, but if he had ten arcs left on the clock, he didn't want to spend them locked to a bed, stuffed with medication until he did little more than stare out of the window for the extra twenty arcs it borrowed him. He could see the rest of his life stretching out before him now. Endless tests. Medication trials. Surgeries. Faith wouldn't give up trying to save him, but his life would already be over. He'd be a hunched, pale little corpse waddling mindlessly around a hospital, grasping for whatever could extend his life by another few meaningless minutes until Vri grabbed him by the throat and Famula severed him from this world.

Archailist materialised on his right knee, forming himself from what looked like a small wisp of pale translucent fabric. His little body's neutral grey had turned dark and stormy, like clouds moved back and forth within him, and his eyes were no longer clouded grey; now they were filled with specks of gold swirling around, glowing brightly to highlight the specks of black that now travelled with them. No, not travelling; fighting. Gold and black clashed constantly, wrestling for superiority within his expressionless, iris-less eyes. He'd never been theatrical. "You know I will always be with you." Spoken as a simple fact over a comforting gesture. Archailist's signature. "We are bound. And as long as we are bound, I will hold you here." He stared deep. "And when the pain becomes too great, you know that I will do what must be done, when you lose the strength to do it yourself."

Archailist's arrival had faded Nir'weis grip on the real world for a moment. He'd drifted off into his own little universe, where it was just him and his familiar, looking at each-other across a hospital bed. Nir'wei sucked in a deep breath, and spoke in a low tone that dripped with more venom than he'd ever spoken before. "Get out." It was the first time he'd ever clearly spoken to Archailist in Faith's presence. All the other times, in front of most audiences, he'd made a clear point to speak only through their mental bond, with only the occasional slip-up in times of high stress. Archailist rarely heeded Nir'weis direct orders, but now he vanished like a puff of smoke and Nir'wei felt his presence receding from his mind, his thoughts and feelings not blocked off, just... no longer there to be felt. It was an odd feeling, like half of a house had just disappeared and left behind empty door frames that led nowhere.

Then, he blinked a few times, and the world returned to normal. "I understand," he muttered, even though at that moment he really did need a friend to cry with more than a cure. "Thank you, for not giving up on me. I really appreciate it Faith." He mustered the biggest smile he could, which really wasn't anything at all, and he quickly had to break it off to reach up and brush what felt like the beginning of tears from the corners of his eyes. Before Faith could even ask, he was spluttering out, "I'm fine, it's nothing, don't worry about it," while shaking his head to try and disguise any growing wetness. "Can you, uhm... can you tell me about what the treatment is? The one in Etzos, what does it, what do they do." In a moment he'd gone from pure malice to on the edge of tears.

[Faith Augustin]

Nir'wei seemed to drift out of his grasp on reality for a few moments, but that wasn't surprising in truth. Faith waited, patient and still as he slipped into himself, dealing with this news in bite sized pieces and dissecting it inside himself. She didn't speak, nor did she worry ~ there was no right reaction here, it was an individual journey and for all that she could walk alongside him, she could not lessen it for him. She wished she could, but instead she sat and she waited for him to come back.

Get out, he said and Faith nodded. "I'll come back, Nir'wei, alright?"

But then, almost immediately, he blinked and Faith looked at him in some surprise as he started to talk to her. She glanced at where he was looking, it was almost like her own ability to see souls and he was talking to one of them. But there was nothing there. Nothing that she could see, anyhow. He turned and he said that he understood and Faith looked at him and her expression spoke a hundred thousand words. "Nir'wei....", she saw the tears start and there was no doubting what Faith would do, what Faith would always do.

She sat next to him and she pulled him into her arms, hugging him to her pregnant form like he was a child and she was comforting hiim. Holding him to her, she cradled his body and held him against her. "I'm so sorry this is happening." She couldn't cry, she would not allow herself to because if she did once, then she would every time and he needed her to be better than that. He needed her. "I won't give up on you, Nir'wei, I'll find out how to beat it. I will." And if she couldn't then she would not let her friend suffer. She simply wouldn't. Faith couldn't bring herself to say it but had she done so, she'd have told him what his familiar just had, albeit she had no idea.

Sitting there, hugging each other for a few moments, Faith recognised that Nir'wei wasn't going to be able to let go, really let go and sob like he needed to until she wasn't there. He hugged her, but he held back from letting his emotions out truly. So, she sat back and held on to his hands. "I've written to the doctor there. It's a treatment of drugs and stimulation of parts of your brain." Faith spoke in a quiet and careful tone. "I need to find out about it, but my understanding is that it's painless, and you need to have it every few trials for a season, every other season." She looked at him and cupped his chin in her hand. "But I'm going to find out about it, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Nir'wei. You are my patient and my friend and my bro..brother, here, in my heart. This baby needs her uncle and that is you. I am not giving up and neither are you. Do you hear me? That's an order, or something."

She kissed him on the forehead and hugged him again, a brief and heartfelt embrace. "I love you, my friend. We'll fight this, together. Try and rest, I'll come back tomorrow." With which she turned and left, closing the door behind her and resting her head against it, her warm forehead feeling the coolness of it as tears fell unashamedly from her eyes.

[Nir'wei]

At just a touch, Nir'wei collapsed and folded into Faith's arms, cheek resting against her shoulder and arms wrapped as tight as he dared around her back, given the stomach that rested awkwardly between both of their stretched bodies.

Tears splattered her shoulder, and his shoulders shook as he struggled to take in the deep, ragged breaths that he needed but his chest could not seem to inhale, but the truly body-wracking sobs that longed to break free from his chest and throat wedged themselves in the top of his chest. Perhaps it was a stupid and childish thing to think, but Faith's stoic determination inspired him to cork his emotions a little tighter and at least wait until she left the room before suffering the mental breakdown he knew was coming in his remaining moments of lucidity. Even more stupid was realising that it was a lot like knowing you needed to sneeze - even though you knew it was coming, you couldn't really stop it from happening, and trying to prevent it, on top of being completely futile, just made the whole experience even more uncomfortable.

Still, he didn't know how to let go until Faith pulled herself away. "Stimu... brain. They'd, like, right, right on it?"
Repeated constantly. Medication. Poking his brain. Painless, she said, but... how could something like that be painless? Would they pump his body with so many drugs and herbs that he'd barely feel anything, let alone stabbing into his brain? Would he even be conscious? Oh gods, what if he was? Panic surged like waves, and became lost again under numbness as it slowly dawned upon him that this would become his new reality. Treatment after treatment.
"I..." He couldn't find the words to properly express how he felt at that moment.

He wanted to be strong, he needed to be, but this was something else. "I'm not giving up. And you're not the boss of me," he said in a weak attempt at comedy, although the words felt so hollow and his laugh so raspy that he couldn't manage more than a few chuckles before letting the silence wash back over them both for a time. "As long as you're with me, I know that we can make it through this." Their second embrace, he squeezed her just a little tighter,
and as she pulled away to leave, he pushed out a sincere smile, trying to at least end their meeting on a lighter tone than when she'd come in. "I'll look forward to tomorrow. Who knows, heh, maybe this has all just been a bad dream."

It wasn't, though. He'd lie there all through the night, mentally screaming. He'd cry until she'd find him in the morning, and then cry some more. In fits of impotent rage he'd beat his blankets and pillows with his fists. At times he'll consider just ending it all now, but he'd soon come to realise that he lacks the courage to do it himself, and he lacks the will to give up knowing that his death would surely bring inconceivable pain to Faith. If this truly is a bad dream, it doesn't look like it's ending any time soon.

[Mal]

A Hunter's Review

Faith

Story 5/5

Collaboration 5/5

Structure 5/5

15/15 Experience Awarded

Knowledge:
Discipline: Operating Under Stress Carrying a Baby
Psychology: Breaking The News of a Terminal Illness
Psychology: Allowing a Patient To Grieve By Their Lonesome
Socialization: Consoling A Dying Man With a Hug
Socialization: Eye Contact
Socialization: Chin Grab to Emphasize
Discipline: Separating Oneself From Someone Cared About
Medicine: Importing Treatments From Other Regions
The Rot: Slow, Degenerative Disease
The Rot: Life Expectancy of 30 Arcs
Nir'wei: Never Gonna Give Him Up, Never Gonna Let Him Down
Nir'wei: Trying To Be Optimistic About Diagnosis
Fame:
+2 Good Deed (Consoling Nir'wei, Long Term Care)

Devotion:

Loot:

Nir'wei

Story 5/5

Collaboration 5/5

Structure 5/5

15/15 Experience Awarded

Knowledge:
Disease: The Rot
The Rot: Slow, Degenerative Disease
The Rot: Life Expectancy of 30 Arcs
The Rot: Etzori Treatment
The Rot: Treatment Plan
The Rot: Not Just A Bad Dream
Faith: Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down
Faith: Loves You Like A Brother
Medicine: Total Cleanliness Important
Medicine: Brain-Poking Can Help
Caregiving: Keeping Your Animals Warm While Away
Endurance: Feeling The Reality Of A Terminal Illness
Endurance: Staying Strong With Spirituality
Endurance: Coping With Thoughts of Illness-Wrought Suicide
Discipline: Staying Calm After Being Told Of Looming Death
Meditation: Slipping Into That Other World
Deception: Deflecting From Your Envy With A Lie
Deception: Using Comedy To Hide Emotions.
Interrogation: Wanting To Know What's Being Done To You


Fame:

Devotion:

Loot:
Notes:

Oh, he's dying? Nir'wei!

Overall a great thread with wonderful emotion and realistic portrayals of care and grievances. I liked how all of these other plots and developments have converged into this thread about The Rot, and it's pleasing to see a PC getting afflicted with someting serious and detailed for once! I'd give Nir'wei brownies if I could. Really hard to review for Faith, already has so much knowledge!

PM me if I missed something, or if you have any questions or concerns!