• Memory • The Lightning's Shadow

[Patrick]

The Lightning's Shadow

Ashen 4 714

Location: The Bronze Boar

Patrick had been so busy thus far that he hadn't taken into account he'd be getting any visitors, so many regulars of the city paid the tavern a visit in general as is; so naturally his being overwhelmed at the Boar didn't lead him to recognize Dominek off hand. Actually he recognized that Dom was there but that it wasn't actually Dom, because he and a group of Lightning Knights had decided to go on break apparently. The tavern was bustling and sure enough people who got rowdy were either mooted to the second floor where the ring was, or they were simply outed 'politely' if they got too aggressive for Daveth's taste. Though that man had the patience of an Immortal when it came to such conflicts.

Patrick's work took him in the back to fetch more clean mugs for ale, beer, and of course cider. More often than not he found himself dry washing the dishes, keen to make sure no residue was left, before he returned out to serve more drinks. Finally when he reached the group of the knights seated at their own table, Dominek looked up to him from the chair with a nod. "Bout time lil' brother!" He teased as Patrick rested the platter on the table to provide them their drinks.

"Sorry bub, been a madhouse all day!" He remarked while he slid a couple of mugs to the men out of reach, Dominek laughed shortly before he patted Patrick's shoulder firmly with an affectionate shake.

"No worries man! Me and the guys were just talkin' bout how wonderful of a job you really do." He bragged with a smirk shot up to the younger sibling.

"Heh, ya bullshittin' or suckin' up?" He reflected with a fist rested at his hip, his own grin cast down to Dom as the other men got a good chuckle.

"Both sounds bout good doesn't it?" Dominek mused as the group in general laughed, and with a glance over to another one of the knights, the older brother pointed him out with a thumb before he spoke further. "Pat I want ya t' meet Karvon, he's a new recruit I'm trainin' as of today." Patrick followed the direction the knight, or rather squire as he was, his brother had introduced. He looked younger than the majority of them, rather inexperienced among his newfound peers. Definitely green when it came to the job.

"Nice to meet ya." He greeted with a bit of a timid smile.

"Likewise mate, if my brother's hard on ya don't take it personal; he's always been an asshole." At the crack of that joke the other knights laughed, their agreement visibly plain while the older brother rose to wrap an arm around Pat's neck.

[Patrick]

“So,” Patrick started to keep the conversation flowing, “How long have ya been in Rharne?”

“Oh just a few seasons,” the squire responded with a glint in his eye, “Got here before the big freeze.”

“Aye and did pretty good just laborin' ‘round.” Dominek interjected with a smirk shot to his brother. “Wasn’t until the other day he actually signed on t’ be a knight.”

“That so?” Patrick’s eyebrows wrinkled as he asked out of intrigue.

“Well I noticed that the knights could certainly use a hand,” He mused as the other two men at the table chuckled, “Figured I’d give it a go since I kinda warmed up to the place.”

“Well, good luck t’ ya then.” The bartender wished as Dominek rose out of his chair, an hand firmly rested on Pat’s shoulder as he gave a couple brotherly shakes.

“When I’m done, he won’t need luck.” He jested with a quick turn to the group, a raise of his mug to encourage the statement. “Welcome t’ the fold Kar!” The men all took a swig of their drinks and Pat only stood there, patient to see just what else his brother had to say. “Now; if y’all excuse me, I need a word with my baby brother.”

From that point the knights and their new recruit laughed, a couple of coo’s made to tease Patrick while the two walked closer to the bar. Patrick leaned in the doorway to the back area where the kitchen was, while Dom simply stood nearby with a softly made smile. “So what’ya think?” He finally asked with raised shoulders, his eyes alight with excitement upon asking the question.

“Heh, my big brother takin’ on a pupil. Movin’ on up in the world finally.” He teased the man with a few more chuckles garnered. The two spoke for a good bit while Dominek’s buddies kept Kar busy, likely telling shit stories that revolved around how much trouble the brothers got into. Most of course involved Dom bailing out Patrick, but the younger brother knew good and well they had dirt on the older one as well. Pat certainly did. He wasn’t going to let Dominek ever live those stories down either, he was after all the younger brother and had to have some sort of leverage.

Their discussion of course had been focused on Kar and the aspect of his training, and mainly how Dominek felt with being the one to squire him. The knight knew he wasn’t the first option for this, but granted he’d never really done mentoring before, it’d proven to be a task worthy of the challenge. Patrick encouraged him of course as he believed in Dominek, that man just didn’t know how good of a person he was. Always the good guy who had to do the right thing, even if his morals were a little loose here and there. He’d certainly done well in helping Patrick grow over the years, seeing as how the brothers only had each other once their mother passed.

“So what’s his story exactly?” Patrick finally asked with a glance back to Kar, the group left behind seemed to be laughing. Joking from the looks of it, although it was noticeable that Kar glanced over their way on occasion.

“He’s a Northerner, said he came from Rynmere or somethin’. Far as I can tell that’s where he came from, said he grew up an orphan until he’d been taken in as a farm boy.” Dominek explained to him and Patrick’s head dropped forward, his eyes beheld a dull look on the knight. “What?! Come on Pat you know we always do background checks, the guy’s got nothin’ he’s completely green.” Dominek reassured him with a gulp from his mug to follow.

“Alright alright,” The younger brother loosened up a little, “so you think you’ll be able t’ whip him into shape?”

“Well, yeah!” The older brother said rather almost rather cocky. “I mean he’s got a lot to learn, but granted we’ve already gone over the basics today; he’s off t’ a pretty good start.”

“Okay then.” Patrick nodded with a bit of approval. “If anybody’s good enough t’ do it, it’s gotta be you after all.” He more or less encouraged Dominek to go for it, as he acknowledged the older sibling for his character. There had been a bit of a moment for brotherly love to take place after that had been said, and once that passed Patrick resumed his duties as a bartender. As far as he could tell Kar didn’t seem like a bad person, a little withdrawn in terms of social graces though. Other then that the guy seemed fine, and he’d come out of that shell in due time. That’s what typically happened when you hung out with the guys long enough.

Patrick moved on to hustle up more dishes and dry clean ones that were available, while somebody in back finally worked on washing ones that were honestly quite filthy. Daveth had a tendency to right a tight ship here, therefore Patrick needed to be on his toes for the next few hours, or else risk falling behind and staying later than closing time. He wouldn’t have any of that of course, not when he had delicious plans to hit the higher part of town as usual.

[Rumour]

Name: Patrick

Knowledge:
Location: The Bronze Boar
Bronze Boar: Layout
Bronze Boar: Tavern & Fighting Ring
Daveth: Owner of the Bronze Boar
Daveth: Patient
Dominek: Brother
Dominek: Lightning Knight
Dominek: Squired Kar
Dominek: Good man
Kar: Arrived in Rharne during arc 713
Kar: Squired to Dominek
Kar: Orphan
Kar: Raised on a farm in Rynmere
Lightning Knights: Do background checks before accepting new recruits

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: N/A
Devotion: N/A

Story: 4/5
Collaboration: 0/5
Structure: 4/5

- - -

Comments: Ohhh man, Kar was Dom's squire?! And the plot thickens! That makes his betrayal so much worse. Great twist! I enjoyed this short read and look into Patrick's past. I think it's great to write out these key moments, as it helps you as a writer figure out what has made Patrick the man he is today. It's also nice for us as readers to have some more insight into his past and his relationship with both Kar and his brother!

I deducted a point from story since the thread was less than 1500 words. I also deducted a point from structure for the same reason I usually bring up: using commas instead of periods and the odd run-on sentence. There were also one or two misplaced words or spellings that would likely have been spotted with a final edit (ex. "Daveth had a tendency to right a tight ship here" and spelling "Ashan" with an "e" rather than an "a"). These are easy fixes, though. I really want to encourage you to take the time to do a quick edit before posting, as I think they would give your already awesome stories a little extra oomph!

Overall, an enjoyable peek into the moment when Patrick first met Kar!

PS. For you.

If you feel I've missed anything or if you have questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thanks!