On the Way to Greatness

[Maltruism]

I'v never done Facebook at all. As you may or may not know, I had to have my daughter's help to get Skype set up for ST chat purposes . I once went halfway with a linkedIn thing, because a friend had apparenlt added me on her page. But after like six pages of blank fields to fill, with no apparent end to the "continue"s asking for more information, I said F it and stopped.

I am still, more than a year later, still getting reminder pop-ups that I have not completed my profile. But even more absurd is that I am getting daily contact requests from people I do not know. I apparently have 187 friends on LinkedIn, one of whom have I ever known in my life. And she only ever actually contacts me through yahoo...

I still just use Yahoo for my email, because frankly, I am afraid to try anything else for fear it will attach me to some cyber-monstrosity that will require me joining one of these social nightmares.

[Whisper]

Oh my days do not even get me started on Linked In. So one uncle (who I loved as a kid but now seems to be a bit of a dick, since he is so easily manipulated by his new wife and I've not seen him in over a year (since his wedding, and I barely spoke to him anyway) and will probably not see him again until my own.. which is 2 years away, if he actually bothers to come) *deep breath* sends me a message on Facebook each year to wish me a happy birthday. Has done since I was about 18 and cards/presents became a thing of the past. I've accepted this; he treats my dad (his brother) the same way. His old family are merely an afterthought. And, actually, Facebook is a very acceptable method of social communication so it's all good.

HOWEVER.

My other uncle, who is married to a woman who always makes the effort every year to see that my siblings and I knew we're loved on our birthday, messed up big time this year. His wife was sick (so my mum told me) and his way of wishing me happy birthday was on Linked In.. which is not a socially acceptable use of the site. How impersonal can you get?! I would have preferred to receive no message. Dear gods...

[Jedith Skylar]

Whisper at some point I'd love an explanation on how FB is socially ok, but RT isn't. Not that I use either, but the logic, which I'm sure exists, escapes me for the moment.

Oh, I still do birthday letters, like in the mail. I know, so old fashioned.

[Whisper]

Most normal people still do things in the mail... I do.

Facebook has become acceptable over the years as a way of wishing someone a happy birthday. And, like I said above, I am already very used to that uncle doing things that way. He's "trendy" and caught up in his own world and barely makes an effort when he sends a group message of well wishes in the holiday season via my grandmother. I'm used to it. It bothers me, but it doesn't bother me that much.

Linked In is not a social networking site, however. It is a professional networking site. I barely use it - only for the strict purpose of keeping in touch with important people who might one day give me a job. I don't even have my uncle as a friend (or if I do, I didn't realise). But given that it is not social, I do not think it appropriate for my uncle to be so goddamn lazy as to wish me a happy birthday on there. He's my uncle, for pete's sake. It would have been better if he'd sent me nothing, I kinda think...

[Whisper]

My breakfast this morning was a meringue. Well, two meringues. For the first time ever (at age 24) I really think I have cracked this whole adulting malarkey. You folks should try it some time!

[Delta]

A Journal Entry About my PC

Dermatillomania/Trichotillomania

Someone (who is not on this site but knows of my writing here) recently asked me why I had a PC who engaged in dermatillomania (a mental health condition where a person compulsively picks his/her skin). He said it could act as a trigger for some people, maybe it would embarrass them. I think he was speaking from a sensitive and good place - I think he was worried that I would do a poor job of it and insult someone with this real problem. I was... a little dumbstruck. Not because I have never thought about it... I can promise you I have. What surprised me is that he could even think I would do that. This is a friend who knows me well.

Thing is... I have trichotillomania. I compulsively pull out my own hair. Disgusting I know. But I do it. I have done it since I was 12 years old - 12 years now. It started with my first round of headlice, I would pick out the eggs one by one. Somehow, that became an enduring habit where I now feel tension and stress build up inside me until I finally raise my hand to my head and search for a hair that feels "too rough" or "too thin" or "too long" or just not quite right. And I remove it. I'm doing it now. As I type this, I keep pausing just to have a bit of a fiddle. Over the years, I've gotten better. Almost an expert at physically hiding the evidence (no more obvious bald patches). It's finally at a length where I feel normal, and my wonderful hairdresser knows it all and helps me to get a cut to make me feel comfortable and confident. It's a shame it costs a minimum of £70 to see him.

Those of you who have trich, or have a similar disorder like OCD, or addictions, probably have heard about triggers: situations where you tend to fall into the habit/disorder more. For me, reading, watching TV, writing, being on the laptop, and driving are my biggest triggers. And no, fidget devices don't work. It's not about keeping my hands busy. Sometimes I can literally spend hours staring at my computer screen (or, rather, using the light of the screen to find split ends and remove them). When I tell people I have done "nothing" for a certain stretch of time, I literally mean that all I have achieved is a pile of discarded hair beside my bed.

Some people think the best thing to do for disorders like this (you know, where my health/life isn't endangered) is just accept that you have them and live with it, because the consequences of it can’t really be bad enough to need to try and “fix it”. The thing is, when you have a behaviour that can suck up literally hours of your day because you are so engrossed in it, it becomes a problem. Women in our society place a very big importance on hair and hair-dos, that when you don’t have any hair, or have a noticeable bald patch, it is extremely stigmatising. Or you have to hoover your room multiple times a week to stop the hairballs. Or when friends start noticing and laugh at you (or worse - tell you to stop). There are so many psychological repercussions of a hidden condition like this.

Once upon a time, people thought trich was a form of self-harm. Then it was anxiety related, and now it falls under a category close to OCD, with an anxiety element.Mood and anxiety disorders are largely accepted by the people I know. They talk of acceptance and how they want to support the people with them... but when they come face to face with something like this, I become a pariah, and they instantly change their song. It seems only certain types of mental health problems are acceptable in this day and age.

I guess the biggest problem is the image of women: bald women are stigmatised, no matter the cause. And, you know.. it's not like I have cancer. All I have to do is stop, right? Fuck off.

I come to accept it, in a way. Well.. I've learnt to mask the problem, in my many years. I don't enter video chats with people, except my fiancé. I don't like it because either I expose myself, or start to feel like all my muscles have seized, if I force myself not to pull at my hair. But I've also learnt to be more open about it. I speak to my friends about it and even have the balls to post something so personal like this online. I am surprised at how easy this is to write... but how hard it is to actually post it. I know I will regret it instantly, and probably remove it the instant I get awarded the medal for the Writing Challenge haha. A massive part of me cares about what you think, but then again, if you are my friend, you will be supportive. And if you're not, you're not my friend. Or you'll never read this, which is great too. My guess is that anyone who does read this will be so uncomfortable that they will pretend they never have. Taboo subject and all.

And, in the grand scheme of things.. why does it matter? I'm not hurting anyone but myself. the worst you'll have to put up with (if you know a trichster - yes, we have a nickname for ourselves) is a couple of hairs on your socks.

So.. back to the point of the post. My character goals for Delta are for her to overcome her condition. Because I'd like to see at least one of us be free of this.[/quote]

[Whisper]

Hey folks.

Just an update about me: I am going to be taking some time for compassionate reasons. I will still be around, especially storytelling in moments when I have the energy/time. But please don't expect the levels of activity that I have been offering over the past 4 months.

Thank you for your understanding.

Whisper

[Whisper]

I remember a friend writing this years ago... for the first year I won NaNoWriMo. A couple of us were messing around and decided to fill the word count up with complete nonsense. I just found it. Thought it might give some of you a giggle. I don't take credit for the entirety of this, only sections.

All persons portrayed in this [roleplay] are entirely fictitious. All names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The following is the opinion of the writer and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organisation, company, gender, sexual orientation or individual. Furthermore, they do not necessarily reflect the views of the people who live in the author's neighbourhood, city, province, country, continent, hemisphere, planet, star system, galaxy, or universe of origin.

Please also note that the fact the piece is written in English is in no way meant to smear other languages or linguistic entities, nor to malign those who are illiterate or visually impaired and thus are unable to read the piece.

In addition, the individual letters, words, and punctuation marks involved had no option but to be placed into the story, and should not be held accountable for the writer's statement. Any spelling or grammatical errors are not the responsibility of the schools the author attended, the teachers the author was taught by, the regional governments who did or did not fund the author's educational system, or anyone else involved in the author's education.

In point of fact, the author takes full responsibility for her actions and opinions and does not hold her parents, siblings, other relations, friends, neighbours, acquaintances, people in any proximity, or that strange guy she sat next to on the bus three weeks ago, responsible for anything in the following work, or for anything else the author may or may not have done. The author freely admits that her views may not be the same as those of her religious group, gender, species, ethnic group, neighbourhood watch program, bowling league or other club.

No fauna, flora, fungi, bacteria, viruses, spores, seeds or, indeed, particles were harmed during the making of this disclaimer. Further, no environmental damage was caused to any ecosphere, existent or nonexistent. All electrons used in the production were strictly volunteers, and all paper this [roleplay] may be printed on was made by trees that died of natural causes.[/color]

[Maltruism]

the teachers the author was taught by,

should read "the teachers by whom the author was taught,".

tsk, tsk, tsk.....

[Whisper]

should read "the teachers by whom the author was taught,".
tsk, tsk, tsk.....

...Get out.
[That bit must have been written by someone else ]

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

I am not submitting to your grammar nazi demands and prescriptions on my language use! Language constantly evolves and he who fights that will suffer the same abuse as all keyboard warriors should!