Edalene
Points!:
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5
Knowledge:
Discipline: Don't look makes it easier not to touch.
Duncan: Handsome
Duncan: Thinks he's funny
Duncan: You slept with him and don't remember
Duncan: Thinks he can drink you under the table
Duncan: Calls you Ms Lightweight
Duncan: Suggested you left together. Not because he couldn't handle the wine.
Endurance: The joy of a really good hangover
Etiquette: The morning after, maintain the moral high ground.
Seduction: Leaning in, moving closer
Seduction: Making it a competition
Loot:
Fame:
Devotion:
Magic:
Duncan
Points!:
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5
Knowledge:
Edalene: You were a first for her
Edalene: But you weren't her first
Edalene: Maybe not a morning person
Edalene: Says she can drink you under the table.
Edalene: Remembers your name. Honest.
Edalene: Sassy
Edalene: Beautiful
Etiquette: Tell her your name, then ask hers.
Etiquette: Let her know you understand how ....uhhh... special it was
Seduction: The art of a lascivious grin
Seduction: Letting your eyes roam, obviously.
Seduction: Snuggle together against the cold
Seduction: Cheeky can be endearing
Seduction: Reasons for an encore
Loot:
Fame:
Devotion:
Magic:
Overview:
General comments.
Story Fun thread! Nice to see the relationship between the two of them, hope to see more of that. I enjoyed the banter and the cheeky nature of Duncan compared to Edalene's sassy. I've given knowledges to Duncan with Edalene's name - I am assuming that the thread in the 18+ forum or somewhere he learns it! Thanks both!
Structure Just keep an eye on minor errors, like "planket" instead of "blanket" etc. Very minor, but another proof read wouldn't go amiss!
Please do PM me if you think I've missed anything or you have any questions!
