[The Westride Plains] Farmer Unions Have No Names (Lecia)

Corrupt state negligence leads to political action by common citizens.

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Gangui
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Posts: 483
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:03 pm
Race: Mixed Race
Profession: Faction Leader
Renown: 196
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[The Westride Plains] Farmer Unions Have No Names (Lecia)

Gangui watched on silently as Lecia retorted his outburst with more anger. Not only did the wild man agree with her words, but found it extremely cute what she was doing. Partially because her gestures and ax swinging were ineffectual and also because she was such a small beautiful creature with boobies. As the fiery red head spat, swung, and threatened a smile returned to his face and his simmering blood cooled off. A couple of times he needed to shift out of the way of her ax, but Gangui's memory would be very short with these occurrences as he was focusing on her feminine form move about with heated passion.

In the end of the day though, the words she spoke rung true. The barbarian warrior did not feel sorry for the farmers in the sense of pure sympathy. As a people emancipated from the Immortals, it was an Eztorsi farmer's duty to take on the mantel of competition that came with such freedom. No, Gangui's will to help them was a commitment more to his own ideology to destroy the enemies of liberty and justice. Though these facts were not a conscience occurrence in his head, this was the underlying logic of his actions and thoughts.

As the frustrate red head began to walk away, the steely hero marched back through the crowd to retrieve his horse. Gesturing for all of the farmers to get in close, he whispered to them, "I will go with the woman and get her thinking straight again. Grab any weapons you own and meet me at her farm in three breaks. We will use her house as a headquarters to plan our strategy... Is that understood?"

The farmers all agreed and the group began to disperse. Hoisting himself up onto the horse nearly took all his strength as he was still new to wearing so much armor. Kicking the horse forward, Gangui caught up to Lecia in a brisk trot. Once he was at her side, he hailed the tiny shadowy figure down the darkness.

Luckily there was enough star light to at least see her form, "Ride?" Sitting back in the saddle, he offered her a hand to mount the horse and sit in front of him. The tracks of land were miles apart and they would be able to reach their destination a lot quicker this way.

If she did not accept his offer, Gangui would dismount and walk next to her with reins in hand. At least until they got to the farm, the barbarian would stay quiet unless she prodded him.
word count: 436
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Lecia
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Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:04 am
Race: Mixed Race
Profession: Farmer
Renown: 40
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[The Westride Plains] Farmer Unions Have No Names (Lecia)

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Trial 10 of Cylus, Arc 717
The clip clopping of an approaching horse caused Lecia to turn back and look upon the red haired man once again. The shadows of nightfall covered his approach and caused him to appear as a ripple across the landscape until he was right beside her. Truthfully she was hoping the man would not follow her. That his sense of bravado and pride would keep him around the other farmers who were practically drooling for his help. This was unfortunately not the case.

Even worse, the swordsman offered his hand out to her to ride upon his horse. Lecia half considered his hand for a moment which was more than she thought she was going to give it. It was a cold night tonight and she could feel it setting it but her pride was colder still. She continued on through the countryside without his assistance after swiping his hand away with her own. It was not the first time she would make a large trek even during Cylus. "Maybe you should walk. Then we can see your worth after a few miles of travel in your gear. If you cannot make it then do not bother to follow."

Luckily the countryside was quiet tonight, at least, in her part of it. There was not often conflict in the peasant lands of Etzos save for those few bandits.






Boxcode created by the amazing Avrae!
word count: 254
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Djinn
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[The Westride Plains] Farmer Unions Have No Names (Lecia)

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Gangui



Story: 3/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 3/5

Fame Gain: +2 helping the farmers
Knowledges

[columns=2]Determination: Helping the common man
Detection: Spotting things at night
Arms out wide, universal sign of peace
Persuasion: Tell them you're on their side
Lecia: Attractive
Leadership: Taking control of the situation
Logistics: Gauging the enemies' numbers
Tactics: Planning a strategy
Persuasion: Demanding payment for services rendered
Leadership: Rally your allies
Discipline: Don't hit the girl, even if you want to
Lecia: Cute when she's mad[/columns]

Comments: Okay, to begin with the good... It's refreshing to see an idealistic warrior. So often do you get out-for-themselves mercenaries or blackguards. I will say, though, that Gangui seems to bounce back and forth between selfishness and altruism.

As for the story and structure points deducted... In the story, nothing really happened. I understand that the thread is to be continued, but there was no conflict resolution to this at all. That being said, I did award some points for the two meeting, since that will build. With the structure, make sure you're spell-checking. I noticed a few spelling errors, and quite a few grammatical errors.
Lecia



Story - 3/5
Collaboration - 5/5
Structure - 5/5

Fame Gain: -2 for attacking Gangui
Knowledges

[columns=2]Leadership: Suggesting the ONLY plan
People: Etzori Women: Nothing in common
Persuasion: Using politeness to ask for help
People: The Etzori don't care about the common folk
Discipline: Control your fire
Resistance: Aukari skin doesn't burn
Intimidation: Fiery eyes
Intimidation: Name-calling
Unarmed combat, brawling: Surprise attack!
Unarmed combat, brawling: Aim for the obvious target
Intimidation: Call them on their weaknesses
Red Hair: Like every other -man-[/columns]

Comments: Oh my, Little Ember. I love her spit-fire personality, no pun intended. Seriously, she is so snarky, and I love reading her dialogue. Just be aware of your transitions and the descriptions of her emotions. There were points where she seemed both happy and angry to see Gangui, but it wasn't clearly defined so that her character seemed more erratic than anything.

On the story points, see above. Everything else looks good. Nice thread, I can't wait to see them attack 6 trained horse thieves.
word count: 386
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