• Solo • Heart of Glass

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Nightshade Eld
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Posts: 878
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 5:43 pm
Race: Mixed Race
Profession: The Best Hero
Renown: 485
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Wealth Tier: Tier 10

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Heart of Glass

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Zi'da 82nd, 716


The wind howled as the world outside raged, instead of snow the weather had turned into freezing cold rain which painful rammed the ground. The sky was painted an ugly gray with occasionally light flashed in the skies, but there was no crashing sound to accompany it. In fact besides the sound of the rain the world was painfully quiet. Trees danced in the wind, empty branches failed about with no one leaves left to lose. The ground was dyed the ugly brown of dying things and dried blood. Night shrugged on her hood as she looked at the mess outside. She couldn't stay inside of her cave any longer, her legs burned and she needed to move or else she was going to go insane. She should frankly just consider herself lucky that her wings weren't in need of stretch. She'd at least become less drenched on a walk than she might on a fly.

The half breed walked outside her humble home joining the decay and desolation of the world around her. The green of her cloak stood out like a sore thumb among all the brown. A dream, a hope, a fleeting desire for new life. That was what many people thought green to be, correct? She wasn't a very good symbol of something so hopeful and pure. She lowered her head and sighed. No, she was nothing other than useless. In the last couple of seasons she'd tried to do her best to make herself useful. All she wanted was a little praise, all she asked in return for her hard word was to walk down the street and meet friendly gazes instead of hate and scorn. But she didn't deserve that kind of life. Everything she did she ended up a failure, she only got people to hate her more. She couldn't do anything right, in the end she couldn't save the people who needed her most. She was the night, an ending, a darkness that people yearned for the dawn afterwards to come. She was the poison plant that ended lives, why did she ever think she could heal? That wasn't her life, her path. It was all so pointless, trying as hard as she did. It was nearly as pointless as she herself was.

Her pace began to quicken as her thoughts turned darker and darker. People just couldn't wait to get away from her! Mal had left her in a matter of trials after they met. He went to war just to get away from the disgusting little bird monster. Why did she ever expect him to come back to her? Who would ever want to be around a pathetic and repugnant creature like herself? Then there was the question of Alex. Alex in either of her forms was beautiful, she was cunning and everything that Night wasn't. She was also a murderer that went half way across the world far away from Night. The last time they saw each other Night had only managed to get Alex into trouble, she wouldn't be shocked if the woman hated Night with such a powerful reason. Night certainly deserved it. Finally the last member of the little trio of "friends" she'd met in the last couple of seasons. Noth was certainly different indeed. He had yet to abandon Night. She knew he wouldn't. Instead he would shoot her in the back and leave behind her rotting corpse. She didn't know when or why but they were two very different people. Their moral compasses even more different than herself and Alex's. One day Noth would realize that Night was more trouble for him than she could possibly be worth.

The rain started to pelt down harder against her but her entire body had gone numb with the cold. She could still feel the brutal stinging of each violent drop but they were dulled. Her cloak clung to her body turning into a dark sopping green mess. Her wings sagged behind her as she slowed down almost to a complete stop. She couldn't name one good thing she'd done in her entire life. What had she been able to do that someone else wouldn't of been able to? Even during the battle at Tried's Tomb her actions were worthless, at best the point of her life was moot. "Why am I so shocked, this is just the kind of person I am. I'm worth nothing more than the tool of others. So why does it hurt," she said to herself quietly. There was a lump starting to grow in the back of her throat. She swallowed repeatedly trying to get rid of sensation, but the horrible lump slowly turned painful and she couldn't force it back. She began to laugh slightly looking at her hands. "You've know from day one, you're a monster. So why? Why are you getting upset now?" She asked herself her hands shaking like leaves. It wasn't because of the brutal cold either.

"Stop it," she said quietly almost like she trying to order her hands not to shake. In reality she was trying to silence the voices in her mind. The horrible and terrible voice that continued to repeat confirmation of just how worthless she was. The attempt was nothing more than vain and the sinking sensation just started to grow worse. "Stop! Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!" She screeched grabbing at her head to try and claw away the thoughts, only to retract the moment she felt claws sink into her own flesh. The pain wasn't there at all, she barely made a scratch before she yanked her hands away, but there was a kind of shock that made her stop. She looked her hands once more seeing the gnarled life taking paws of a monster or a beast. There was a growing sickness in the pit of her stomach, a sharp pain shot from it to the rest of her entire body overriding the lump in her throat. She could feel bile rise up into the back of her throat and before she could force it back she'd lost what meager lunch she was able to force down. She hadn't felt much like eating anyway. The sky continued to grow darker, she estimated it was sometime late afternoon getting towards night. It was already getting to be too dark to see.

She looked around wildly searching for any kind of light, the dark woods stretched out before her almost endlessly. The only light she saw was the occasional wild flash of lightning. The forest was occasionally lit up in an almost blinding way, haunting and chilling at best. The feeling started to come back to her as a fresh wave of cold and pain rushed across her body from the Zi'da storm chill.

She looked around her. "Mom. Dad. Please don't leave me alone anymore! Let me be with you, please! I can't take it anymore," she cried out at the top of her lungs falling to her knees. "Don't make me do it, don't make me do it anymore! I can't! I'm not strong, I'm not. I can't do it anymore," she desperately wailed hoping for any kind of reply.

The half breed was slowly going over the point of insanity, for a moment she swore she could hear the voice of her father. "Come here my little raven hawk. Everything is going to be okay. Daddy's here." The nickname of her youth struck a cord and she glanced around trying to locate the sound of the voice.

"Papa? Papa where are you!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. It was uncertain what kind of desperate hope or delirium had brought about the thought she could hear her father's voice but she went chasing after it none the less. "Papa!" She cried rushing through the forest. Vines and branches caught her in the fact as she dashed through, her eyes darting about wildly. Never could she see a thing except for the short moments of lightning crashes. Before she knew what was happening her feet flew out from under her. A scream jumped from her throat and her body barely had time to process the mental command to fly. It was a delayed response and she wasn't fast enough to keep herself from crashing into a river that opened up under her feet.

The girl tried to force her head above the water but she kept getting pushed downwards. A desperate kind of panic filled her as she tried to force the water out and the air in to her lungs. Her wings flailed wildly trying to achieve flight, but they only threatened to weigh her down and drown her. She struggled like that for hours in the raging river, strengthened by the constant rain. It was a miracle she was eventually able to pull herself onto some kind of shore. It was the middle of the night now and the air was cold, cold enough that it made her skin feel like it was on fire.

Defeated, weak, and tired Night dragged herself back towards the forest. She knew it wasn't her forest, there was no telling what forest the river had carried her to. But until it was light enough for her to take to the skies and search for home the trees would be the safest place for such a broken little bird. That was if she still had the strength to pull herself into one of the trees. Her eyes had slowly adjusted to the darkness after the lightning stopped flashing. She could make out the blurry outlines of things now but she was still helpless for the most part. She slumped next to the tree for a moment.

A rattly breath left her body as the lump came back full force. A stinging pain started to build in the back of her eyes as she sniffled almost constantly. She tried rubbing at her eyes but it did little to ease the pain. She just kept sniffling trying to hold back the ultimate sign of weakness. The stinging in the back of her eyes continually got worse. "I'm an idiot," she muttered to herself quietly. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She said turning towards the tree she was slumped against and slamming her head against it. A slight trickle of warmth trailed down her face and she touched her forehead. The fifth time she hit her head she'd managed to break the skin, it had taken so long because she was too weak to hit herself very hard. The blood almost seemed to send her into a frenzy.

"This is why no one loves you!" She said leaping to her feet and turning towards the tree. The look on her face was one of total anger, like this one tree was the thing that had made her world so very wrong. "You're stupid, irrational, and good for absolutely nothing! You over react at the slightest things and act like a idiot at all times. No one would ever want to be around you because your few good qualities aren't worth all the pain and suffering people have to go through just being around you, not to mention what you cause them. You'll be alone forever and no one will ever love you in any way at all!" She growl viciously, repeatedly raking her nails across the tree until she could feel pain growing in her finger tips. Despite the length of her talons her fingers kept brushing against the tree enough to cause them to bleed.

When she was done with the tree she moved elsewhere. Her nails found the soft flesh of her arms and legs easy to pierce, the skin gave way so satisfyingly. She wasn't harsh with her actions against herself, no where near as violent as with the tree at least, but she made her intent to draw blood well known to herself. It was sick how each scratch felt so good, like she was releasing some kind of evil that had been building up behind her skin. She started to laugh a little once she'd finished her attack on herself. Her arms weren't all too damaged. After all they were mostly human. Her legs on the other hand were thoroughly scratched. It looked like she'd gone walking through bramble bushes for six hours, nothing too harsh to leave lasting damage but it was enough to make her feel better. The stinging in her eyes and throat only got worse as she looked down at her black feathered legs, slowly turning red and then washing away back to black thanks to the rain which continued to pelt her. She didn't notice it immediately, but the stinging in her eyes slowly started to relieve itself, only to get worse. A slight warmth started to glow on her cheeks. The rain had kept her from realizing that she'd started to cry. Another bitter laugh came from her throat as tears ran down her face jumping out of her eyes. There were so many tears she'd decided it would be best if she held back. She couldn't stop crying.

"How pathetic are you?"
word count: 2261
Common ~ Ith'Ession ~ Lorien
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Whisper
Posts: 1767
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:36 pm
Race: Prophet
Profession: Storyteller
Renown: 394
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Heart of Glass

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Nightshade Eld


Awarded Points

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 0/5
Structure: 5/5
These points can/cannot be spent in magic


Awarded Knowledge

Self: Alone, Hideous and Unwanted
Self: A Tool for Others
Self-Worth: Rock Bottom


Awarded Extras

Loot & Losses Injuries
None None
Fame Devotion
None None
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Comments

This was harrowing. I hated awarding those Knowledges! :( I'm gonna go and find something happy to do now!


If you have any questions, comments or criticism about your review, feel free to send me a PM and we can discuss it.
Thank ye.
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