When Kura spoke about her parents, Faith's face probably told all that Kura needed to know, but she didn't say anything, just shook her head. Some things were not necessary to discuss and she had no wish to spoil what was a perfectly nice shopping trip. Unfortunately, of course, she managed it anyhow with what the disciplined young woman considered to be an entirely hysterical outburst on her part. She looked at Kura with a grateful smile as she led her to the stool and she sat on it. Kura wasn't having any of Faith's attempts at deflection, however, which Faith was not at all surprised at. Instead, she got straight to the actual heart of the matter.
"I was given to the slavers before I'd breathed a break, they told me. I don't know why, my parents weren't slaves themselves, they were free and they chose that life for me. That's all I ever got told." Not really a need to explain why they'd even bothered telling her that, it was to make it clear to her just how little she'd meant. Bottom line was exactly that and Faith looked at Kura with an immense feeling of gratitude, which showed in her face. "No one understands. I know how self pitying that sounds, and I don't mean it that way. But they started my training immediately, I've never known anything else." Trying to explain it was hard and had proved pretty much impossible to everyone.
"I don't know what family means. I say that and people nod and tell me that they understand but this or but that, and there is no bloody but, Kura, I don't know what it means. Mother, father, brother, sister, childhood. It isn't that I had bad experiences of any of those things, I have never had them. I've never seen them, experienced them or felt them and people just assume that everyone knows the words, has some shared experience. I know loyalty but is that family? I know love, but is that family? I have no clue and no one will tell me, because they can't understand my life any more than I can understand theirs." She shook her head and looked at Kura with a sad expression. "If this is what we've been told it is, then I'm about six months along but covered with an illusion. I was Tristan's bed-slave but only his, he was the first. So there's no question, really." She gave a slight and ironic smile "I wish there was. I think Padraig could be my family, we were talking about marriage and children just before we found out and we're not ready. But I think maybe one trial we would have been. Now though? Who knows." She shook her head and squeezed Kura's hand, gratefully.
"There's no fixing this right now. It will need to play out how it does, I reckon." How that might be, the young woman had truly no idea.
"I was given to the slavers before I'd breathed a break, they told me. I don't know why, my parents weren't slaves themselves, they were free and they chose that life for me. That's all I ever got told." Not really a need to explain why they'd even bothered telling her that, it was to make it clear to her just how little she'd meant. Bottom line was exactly that and Faith looked at Kura with an immense feeling of gratitude, which showed in her face. "No one understands. I know how self pitying that sounds, and I don't mean it that way. But they started my training immediately, I've never known anything else." Trying to explain it was hard and had proved pretty much impossible to everyone.
"I don't know what family means. I say that and people nod and tell me that they understand but this or but that, and there is no bloody but, Kura, I don't know what it means. Mother, father, brother, sister, childhood. It isn't that I had bad experiences of any of those things, I have never had them. I've never seen them, experienced them or felt them and people just assume that everyone knows the words, has some shared experience. I know loyalty but is that family? I know love, but is that family? I have no clue and no one will tell me, because they can't understand my life any more than I can understand theirs." She shook her head and looked at Kura with a sad expression. "If this is what we've been told it is, then I'm about six months along but covered with an illusion. I was Tristan's bed-slave but only his, he was the first. So there's no question, really." She gave a slight and ironic smile "I wish there was. I think Padraig could be my family, we were talking about marriage and children just before we found out and we're not ready. But I think maybe one trial we would have been. Now though? Who knows." She shook her head and squeezed Kura's hand, gratefully.
"There's no fixing this right now. It will need to play out how it does, I reckon." How that might be, the young woman had truly no idea.
