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Can one love fire?

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
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Posts: 9772
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2016 1:08 am
Race: Prophet
Renown: 666
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Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Crimson communion

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General Feedback

Story Well, what can I say about story? That was a very strange one! It's such a shame it got abandoned, as it was interesting and quirky and I have no idea where it was going to end up! I love Rey and Frid's relationship and I do so love the internal dialogue about it. Good work on wrapping it up, both.
Structure Embri: you were not awarded structure points as the thread was abandoned. Rey'na and Fridgar worked to end it, so structure awarded.

All: You must timestamp your threads. If the first person does not, then the next one should.
Please do PM me if you've got any questions

Embri


Story: 3/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 0/ 5 (abandoned thread)

Knowledge:
Endurance: Working tirelessly requires regular breaks
Fire: Your god
Fire: You used to be afraid of it.
Fire: You and it are one
Strength: Muscle fatigue is very real.
Unarmed Combat: Dodging as a defensive move
Unarmed Combat: Use your environment to your advantage

Loot: NA
Fame: -3 (breaking city laws)
Magic: These points may NOT be used for arcana

Notes: Embri, it is really important that you play to your skill level. Your common is at broken and so your pc would not be able to speak in such a manner. Also, at your fighting level, you wouldn't be able to perform the kind of intricate manoeuvres you are describing. Please read the skill write up and feel free to drop me a pm to chat through if that would help?
I have deducted 1 points for story for the above issue of overplaying skill level and 1 point for the fact that the story is unfinished. Please, however, see the general feedback for this very interesting and quirky story!

Fridgar

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5

Knowledge:
Detection: The smell of fire in a forest
Endurance: Concerted efforts for lifting.
Strength: Straight back for pressing
Strength: Building your core helps future endeavours.
Strength: A wide stance helps perform lifts.
Strength: Breathing helps, regulated breathing moreso.
Unarmed Combat: Stance for defence
Unarmed Combat: Punching to the side
Unarmed Combat: Uppercuts

Loot: NA
Fame: -3 (breaking city laws, etc)
Magic: These points may NOT be used for arcana

Note: Please note this announcement from Jade about Aukari. This was written before that, so it has not impacted your points on this occasion.

Rey'na

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5

Knowledge:
Detection: Lip reading is difficult.
Detection: Small differences in facial expression can give clues to emotions.
Fridgar: Might he be your friend?
Fridgar: Passionate
Fridgar: You'll confess your friendship later. If he lives.
Intimidation: Is made easier with weapons
Negotiation: Made much harder when talking to someone who just got beaten up.
Negotiation: Asking a question nicely.
Psychology: Relationships are confusing
Psychology: Friendship is important.

Loot: NA
Fame: NA
Magic: These points may NOT be used for arcana

Note: Please note this announcement from Jade about Aukari. This was written before that, so it has not impacted your points on this occasion.
word count: 532
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~~Red in hoof and claw... ~~
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