• Memory • Bar Fight Part 1/2

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Eternity
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Bar Fight Part 1/2



Ashan 1 722



As it got late, Eternity could feel how little money was still in her pockets. She had barely had any cash to spend when the night began, but she had been tricked into playing some card games before ultimately getting up from the table. She hadn't come there to gamble, she'd come to practice drawing. She had brought the proper supplies but she hadn't yet begun.

She was currently drawing quickly on her last few pieces of paper as she sat at the bar. Unhappiness had taken hold. She believed it would be simple, but she couldn't seem to remember any particulars. Although her subjects weren't very moving, she lacked passion. She misjudged the length of an arm and slammed her quill into the paper on the bar, breaking the writing implement.

She heard a voice from behind her say, "You seem a little angry, woman." "Are you going to be okay then?"

Over her shoulder, Eternity caught a glimpse of the stern speaker. He had bruises on his face and arms, which indicated to Eternity that he was definitely the kind to pick fights. Knowing that, she deduced that he thought she was also a wild person based on the bruise that was forming on her shoulder from running a little too recklessly earlier in the day. She hadn't gotten into a fight; rather, she had accidentally brushed up against a wagon's corner. She thought he would kick her out, so it was hardly a polite dialogue.

"Yes, I'm all right." She spoke, attempting to mask the chilly undertone in her voice. Even though it might not have seemed like a big deal to some, Eternity urgently wanted to be good at something, anything that might be lucrative. Despite her subpar skills, she took her development very seriously. "You fight here frequently?" Eternity enquired. She needed something new, something fresh. She'd tried singing lately but there was no music here. Perhaps fighting would be a good time.

The man looked at the girl in front of him. He decided that starting a minor quarrel would at least result in a few bets because she appeared more interested in lounging around and drawing than anything else, which didn't bring in any money for him. Enterprise is enterprise. "We never get enough fights. You want to try?" He yelled while making a couple fast hand motions toward several workers who appeared to start setting things up right away.

"Let's do it " She spoke. She sounded more assured this time. What harm could there be? She needed to let off some steam because the previous two days had been demanding. She moved in the direction she thought she should go while leaving her bag and painting supplies with the bartender. She then started to stretch as she had been instructed at the gym.

The audience began to jeer and heckle Eternity as the bartender announced there might be a fight. Although no one had yet approached her to challenge her, wagers were already being placed against her. Eternity kicked off a couple of stout-looking blows to warm up, rotating her hips and flinging her legs into the air with familiar ease. The jeers subsided a little after that.

In anticipation of her opponent, Eternity rocked on her feet like she was a boxer. The kicks were sufficient to win over some of the crowd, and before long, she was receiving wagers. Some individuals had risen to challenge her; wouldn't it be exciting to wrestle a gorgeous woman? But as soon as she had delivered those powerful kicks, the males had sat down. Even though they couldn't see them, they could hear the foot slicing the air. How satisfying would it be to land a blow on their face? It would take more than just holding her down and a few solid groin thrusts to win this fight. No, it would be a little more challenging than that. Best to leave her in the hands of a real combatant. Someone would soon come along to challenge her, and it might even end up being a decent fight.

However, just one remained standing after all the others had fallen back to their seats. It was a man who sat alone and unnoticed in the very back. Now that several heads had turned to look at him, the throng fell silent as they did so. The man walked forward with a grin, appearing unconcerned. Though Eternity saw it that way, it wasn't truly a mocking or teasing comment. It was more of an eager, awaiting smile, resembling that of a young child who has just been selected for some fun. He didn't appear to be extremely dangerous. It was simple to see that he was in good form. His naked arms had lean, banded muscle, giving the impression that he regularly exercised but didn't actually engage in bodybuilding. The strange thing, though, and possibly the reason for the silence in the throng, was that he could not see. His forehead was securely covered in white medical bandages, which also covered his eyes to shield them from the outdoors. He moved past the numerous groups and tables pretty effortlessly, appearing to be unaffected somehow.

The silence was broken by a giggle as one of the customers leaned back in their chair and spoke to his friend. The companion chuckled once again, and they both turned to face Eternity and shrugged their shoulders in apology. What did they have to apologize for? "Good luck, you’ll need it against Trelon." The man who was closest to the woman belched while smiling at her and taking a sip from his mug. Eternity was in shock. Did they really recognize the blind man? And they placed a wager on him?

The man approached the platform and grinned unusually adoringly at her. He exuded a peaceful atmosphere that was kind and friendly. He moved in closer and offered to shake her hand. He whispered before signaling to the bartender that he was prepared to start. "Let's do our best," he whispered. His smile got larger as the hand remained extended. Now that he was wearing a sleeveless shirt, she could clearly see his bare arm. He had well-defined muscles that did not bulge. He appeared to be swift but not particularly strong. possibly not even more powerful than her.

She reached out for his hand and gave it a strong shake while stuttering, "okay, let’s do our best. He seemed to be blind. Second, in complete contrast to her first impression, he appeared to move quite well. He didn't look like someone who got into fights but he had the build for it. These observations lead Eternity to one conclusion: he is self-assured, brave, and possibly quite capable of fighting.

She had anticipated an intoxicated person to stumble onto the platform which could have been easy. She had instead been given a blind man who looked like he meant business. Eternity let go of the stranger's hand and moved to the opposite corner. Her hands sat right below her chin and she had her left leg forward. As she waited for someone to signal the start of the fight, she crouched a little.

Whether or not the man shouting was the referee, Eternity would never let him make the opening move. He had assumed his position already. She swiftly covered the distance by bursting forward and taking two more steps before placing her left foot firmly on the ground. She stepped forward, bringing her right knee up to her chest and then thrusting her left leg out in front of her. The kick was intended to beat and force the opponent away, as evidenced by the curled toes. Eternity bared her fangs, throwing her right arm forward and twisted her hips to provide additional force to the strike while keeping her left hand close to her chin to defend herself. Her adversary was probably a skilled one. Her opponent had already had a little glimpse of her writing style, she didn't have that advantage. The only alternative to letting herself be assaulted initially was to take a chance on his ability to fend off her constant barrage.

Given that her foot was so close to him, she might think that she had caught him. However, he spoke abruptly, which was strange given that they were now engaged in combat. "Oh, that's unfortunate," he said. His skipping feet carried him to her side for a split second before he suddenly disappeared. As he maneuvered out of the corner of Eternity’s eye, he launched a kick right at her. "You move quickly, but you bet everything on landing your kick. You chose a single, dedicated straight line as your trajectory. If that one misses, what happens? You're open to counter attack."

Eternity's knee bent to her chest absorbing the shock. She fell to the ground and twisted and shifted her entire body backwards. She had come close to getting him so she felt confident… But he was now correcting her in a quiet voice as she adjusted her position. Eternity thought, "really? a lesson? Here? Now?" She was determined to put him in his place.

Part 2 is here!

[Template credit to Pyrre]


Last edited by Eternity on Sun Mar 19, 2023 7:03 pm, edited 2 times in total. word count: 1572
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Re: Bar Fight Part 1/2

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Eternity


I think your action writing was solid enough, I don't think it's bad at all, actually. Maybe a little too much on the side of detail and control. What's important, I find, when writing action is the feelings and the impression of limbs hitting each other, more than the mechanics of what is going on. It's good to have a picture of just what is happening of course, but the reader will usually fill in those details themselves. So you don't need to.

Anyway, this was a nice start to the bar fight, and I look forward to reading the conclusion.

p.s. There was a wording error in here that while amusing didn't distract from the quality overall of the story:
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