[NPC] Neil  [Approved]

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Alyssia
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Race: Aukari
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[NPC] Neil

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Name: Neil
Created by: Alyssia
Race: Human
Birthday/Age:23rd of Zi'da 682, 40
Forum Location: Neil is based in Faldrass
Title: Personal body guard
Skills: Mount: Air (Expert), Combat: sword (expert), Discipline (novice), Leadership (competent), Athletics (competent)
Details: Neil is a strong willed man that is not known for joking around. He is very serious when it comes to making sure that the barons are kept up to date on what Alyssia is doing. Due to her constant on the go attitude, the man has learned to bring out his more stern side, even though he has found it hard to deny when Alyssia wants to do something. Especially when the girl uses his favorite drink against him. He found early on that he loves the wine made from the grapes grown on the island.

Neil started his career off as part of the Elements in Scalvoris. He served many years protecting Scalvtown and the surrounding cities as was needed. One night on a mission with his new recruit, Neil was jumped from behind and suffered a terrible stab to his spine. With quick thinking he was just able to move sideways so that it would not cripple him, but his superiors thought it best if he was taken out of the field after that. When the news of the new barons needing personal body guards circled through the Elements, Neil expressed interest in taking the job. With a written recommendation, he made his way there and was happy to get the job. He was shocked to see a young Aukari girl marked as the next baroness to be his charge. Though since taking on the job he has found no day has been boring. The girl has kept him on his toes at all times between her trips out of the manor and all her pets she has.
Last edited by Alyssia on Fri Nov 04, 2022 3:12 pm, edited 5 times in total. word count: 311
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Re: [NPC] Neil

Hi Alyssia,

I have a few concerns about these NPCs. I'll list them out for ease of reading:
  • His skills are too high. A master at riding and combat should be leading armies somewhere, and it's doubtful they'd find contentment in bodyguarding for a little girl (Baroness heir or not). I think at most settle on one or two expert skills here, and the rest competent.
  • He has expert discipline, but somehow Alyssia is able to tempt him with his favorite food? That sounds more like he has novice Discipline, given Alyssia's Socialization/Cooking skill.
  • Some of the skill names are not valid. His combat skill should be Combat: Blades, and I'm guessing the closest thing to agility is Athletics. Please change those.
  • I couldn't find a dev entry for Faldrass Fire Bread? Is this something already devved? If not you'll have to remove it from this before I can approve, or else get the Fire Bread approved first.
Otherwise, this looks good.
word count: 170
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Alyssia
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Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2019 2:00 am
Race: Aukari
Renown: 225
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Re: [NPC] Neil

Thank you for looking over this for me. I believe I have everything fixed if you dont mind checking on it again.
word count: 22
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Pig Boy
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Re: [NPC] Neil  [Approved]

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Looks good!
Approved!
word count: 3
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