25th-30th Ashan, 721
25th Ashan, 721
Location: Order Clinic, Scalvoris Town
Isra Delaris watched her patient sleep as she thought about what she had just learned. It had taken her longer than she had hoped to find something that would overcome the sacrifice that Ari'sora had made that made it impossible for her to recover from emotional trauma. She had learned of the problem last Zi'da, and after a great deal of research and traveling, she had found a member of the Order who lived in Rharne who was as skilled in alchemy as she was in medicine. Perhaps more so. The end result was that she now had an amulet that would allow Ari'sora to recover from emotional trauma if she worked at it once it had attuned itself to her. But the time it had taken for her to get the amulet had taken a toll on her patient.
From what the healers who had been seeing to Ari'sora's needs in her absence had told her, Ari'sora was starting to give up hope. It had been impossible for them to try and work with her to deal with her trauma since she was unable to recover from it. So they had done their best to make her as comfortable as they could. Keeping her in a strictly controlled environment limited the number of choices that Ari'sora was forced to deal with, and keeping her on a regiment of a sedative and ginger tea helped to prevent her from having any panic attacks, and allowed her to make some decisions without getting sick. Since they had been unable to work on dealing with her trauma, they had given her books to read in an attempt to keep her engaged in life. They also spent time just talking with her in the hopes of keeping her spirits up. And at first, it had worked.
But as time passed, Ari'sora had lost the hope that she would ever be allowed to leave the clinic. She had spoken of her fears that since she wasn't able to recover from her trauma, she would spend the rest of her life there since she had been told that she wouldn't be released until she had recovered fully from her trauma. And while the healers had reminded her that Isra was looking for something that would allow Ari'sora to recover from her trauma, too much time had passed, and she had given up hope.
It was understandable in some ways. Someone who was as traumatized as Ari'sora was would naturally have difficulty believing that anything would get better. Even without knowing that something was preventing them from recovering, that would be the case. With that knowledge, it had proved impossible for Ari'sora not to give into her fears of being held in the clinic for the remainder of her life.
Ari'sora responded to that loss of hope by withdrawing into herself at times. From what Isra had learned, her patient drifted in and out of awareness, never withdrawing into herself for longer than a trial. But as time passed, she had started to withdraw into herself more and more often. Currently, it was rare that she didn't withdraw at least once a trial for a few breaks. Once such a pattern started, it was difficult to break, and Isra knew that if it wasn't broken, Ari'sora would eventually withdraw into herself for good.
Isra didn't think that she would be able to help Ari'sora here. But there was a facility on Faldrass that specialized in dealing with mental and emotional trauma. Now that she had gotten something that would allow Ari'sora to recover from emotional trauma, it was Isra's hope that they would be able to help her do just that. She decided that she would make arrangements for Ari'sora to be transferred to Spirit's Rest Oasis as soon as she gave Ari'sora the amulet she had managed to get for her.
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Ari'sora returned to awareness slowly as sleep transitioned into wakefulness. She had been flying in her dreams, and the rush of air around her as she flew echoed into the waking world for a few trills. Ari'sora wished that she was still asleep. She could only fly in her dreams now, and she missed the ability to do so with a fierce ache that never left her when she was awake.
"Welcome back, Ari'sora."
Ari'sora started at the familiar voice, and she turned to face the woman who had spoken.
"A healer will be here soon to give you the next dose of your sedative, and a mug of ginger tea. When you have had both, we will talk."
Ari'sora nodded. Isra was right. Within a few bits, one of the healers who had been treating her came by with a syringe, and a steaming hot ceramic mug of tea. Ari'sora was so used to getting injections now that she barely felt the sting of the needle as it slid into her skin. And it was a relief to know that with the medicine that had just been injected into her arm, she wouldn't have any panic attacks if something happened to trigger one. She began sipping the tea slowly. Its warmth soothed her. Before long, it was gone. Ari'sora set the mug down, and looked at Isra, wondering what she wanted to talk about. Isra waited several bits before she began to speak, wanting to make certain that both the sedative, and the ginger tea had taken effect before she spoke with her patient.
"The healers that have been assigned to watch you tell me that you have been withdrawing from reality fairly frequently. Is this true?"
Ari'sora nodded. She wondered anxiously if she was going to be in trouble for doing so. It wasn't really something she had chosen to do. It just...happened. And once it had started, it was a welcome escape from her reality. She never chose to withdraw, but when it crept up on her, she never resisted it either.
"It is important that you understand something. Withdrawing from reality like this is a coping mechanism. It shields the mind from things that it cannot endure. That is a good thing because it can help to prevent someone from going insane in the face of severe trauma."
Isra paused to make sure that Ari'sora was taking in what she had to say.
"Have you ever experienced something like this before?"
Ari'sora didn't answer immediately. She didn't think that she had ever experienced anything like it before, but she wanted to be certain before answering, so she thought back to see if anything popped up in her memories. It didn't, so she shook her head. Isra jotted something down in her notebook before continuing.
"It is true that withdrawing from reality is a powerful coping mechanism, but it is very important for you to understand that it is also a trap. The more often you withdraw from reality, the easier it will be for you to slip away from it, and the more likely it will be for you to do so. It has also been proved that the more often it happens, the longer it will take for you to return. And there is no guarantee that you will be able to return at all."
Once again, Isra paused to see if Ari'sora understood what she was saying. Ari'sora didn't say anything, but she stared at Isra with wide eyes. That was something she had never even thought about when she had started...drifting. Was that something that she wanted? Ari'sora wasn't sure. When she...lost time, she wasn't aware that she was trapped in the clinic. Didn't know that she would be stuck there for the rest of her life. Wasn't aware of anything at all, really. Was that better than her reality? She wasn't sure.
"Am I right in believing that this isn't something that you are trying to do?"
Ari'sora nodded.
"It just...happens." she said at last.
"It isn't a choice I make, or anything. But...when I feel myself sliding away, I haven't been fighting it either." she admitted.
Isra nodded.
"I am aware that the time that I was gone didn't help matters. You've been her for an entire season, and although it couldn't be helped, we haven't even gotten started working to overcome the trauma that you have suffered."
Ari'sora wanted to say something, but Isra was still speaking, so she stayed silent.
"So if you can, I would like you to promise me something. I won't ask you not to withdraw from reality again. I don't believe that is something that you are in a place to commit to just yet. But when you feel yourself starting to slip away, I want you to fight it. Do you think that you can do that for me?"
Ari'sora considered the question. Would it really be so bad if she simply...stopped being aware of the world around her? That might be better than spending the rest of her life in this room. Well, she would...she just wouldn't know that she was. Never be able to see her children and Ryl'ryn again, never to be able to fly again...could she really spend the rest of her life like that? Ari'sora didn't think that she could. At the same time...it seemed so important to Isra that she promise to fight it. She wanted to please the healer, so she nodded.
Isra smiled at her.
"Thank you for making that promise. I can see that you are questioning whether a lifetime of numbness would be better than what you have experienced so far. But I've found something that will help you."
Ari'sora's eyes widened. Did she dare believe that Isra had really found something that would help? Or was it something that the healer thought might help, but wouldn't really? Was there anything that could help her when she had lost the ability to recover from emotional trauma in a sacrifice made to an Immortal? Isra pulled an amulet out of a pouch that Ari'sora hadn't even noticed she had until she pulled the amulet out of it. The amulet was beautiful. The chain and the setting for the amulet were a very dark purple-black. And the thumb length teardrop shaped was just as pretty as the chain was. Isra asked her if she could put it on her, and she nodded. The weight of the amulet felt almost comforting somehow.
"After quite a bit of research, and reaching out to branches of the Order in other cities, I was able to find a healer who was also a very skilled alchemist. She was able to make this for you when I told her about your case. This amulet will allow you to recover from emotional trauma. It will also act as a mirror to your mind, reflecting images and memories that trouble you. That will allow it to act as a guide in helping you to know what you should focus on working on at any given time. It also suppresses things that will prevent you from dealing with your trauma. Furthermore, it will give you the feeling that seeking help is the right thing to do. That will make it easier for you to accept the help that you need. But this amulet is unable to heal any kind of trauma itself. You will need to do all of the work. This amulet will just make it possible for you to do so."
Ari'sora stared at the amulet for several bits before looking up at Isra. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of shock, awe, doubt, fear, and hope.
"How...? Who...?"
Isra shook her head.
"How doesn't matter. It is enough that you have the amulet now. As for who...she asked that I not tell you. She didn't make the amulet because she wanted your thanks, or anything in return. She just wants you to get better. That will be all the thanks she needs."
Ari'sora nodded. She really wanted to thank the woman who had made the amulet for her, but she could understand why the woman might not want that. She always felt weird if anyone thanked her for anything too.
"It will take three trials of you wearing the amulet constantly for it to be able to attune to you and start working. But after that, it will do what it was made to do as long as you are wearing it."
"Thank you. I..."
Ari'sora fell silent. She wasn't sure what she was trying to say. It didn't seem enough just to say thank you. Not for something like this. But what could she do to repay the other woman for going to so much trouble for her? And why had she gone through so much trouble for her in the first place? Wouldn't it have been easier for them to just lock her up, and be done with it? That was what happened to crazy people, wasn't it?
Isra offered Ari'sora the amulet, and Ari'sora put it around her neck. The slight weight felt reassuring somehow. It was a promise that maybe...just maybe, things might get better. It was hard to have hope in that, but Ari'sora promised herself that she would work as hard as she could if there was even the slightest chance that it might help.
"There is one more thing I wanted to discuss with you. I am going to have you transferred to Faldrass. They have a facility there that specializes in dealing with mental problems and emotional trauma. I feel that they will be able to help you better there than we can here. Arrangements for the transfer will be made over the next few trials."
Ari'sora nodded to show that she understood.
"I have to start making those arrangements now, but when I am finished, I will return, and we can talk about what you can expect with the transfer."
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30th Ashan, 721
Location: Hopetoun
The storm had caused them to drop anchor in an attempt to wait it out. There were repairs to be made once the storm was over, and there was a settlement that the sailors knew as Hopetoun nearby. It was possible that they might have supplies they could trade for that would make making the necessary repairs easier.
Once the freeze started, though, priorities changed. The sailors bustled about getting the few civilians rounded up so that they could be taken to shore. Ari'sora wasn't sure why rhey were being moved, but there were hushed conversations that hinted about a concern over supplies running out if the freeze was a prolonged one, as well as concerns about the cold.
So the ship was evacuated via row boats. Ari'sora was all to glad to let Isra direct her so she wouldn't be in the way of things. When they reached the shore, the captain of the ship went in search of someone he could ask for permission to stay until the storm passed. Ari'sora heard some of the sailors worrying about whether the settlement would have enough supplies to share with them until the freeze was over. She learned that this was a new settlement, which she realized it would have to be, and as such, probably wouldn't have much in the way of supplies for themselves, never mind to accommodate extra people. Ari'sora wondered if it would help if she didn't eat much while she was there. She didn't want anyone to go without food in order to feed her. But she also knew that Isra might not allow her to do any such thing. Maybe there was something that she could offer in exchange for any food she ate. She didn't want to be a burden.
When they reached the settlement, they saw a red headed woman helping a group of other people. Ari'sora wondered if she shuold offer to help as well, but before she could, Isra's eyes widened.
"I know her." she explained when she saw Ari'sora watching her.
"Well, no. But I know of her. Unless I am mistaken, her name is Vega, and she has done a lot of good things for people."
Isra eyed Ari'sora for a few trills.
"Let's go see if we can be of any help." she said at last.
Ari'sora followed Isra over to the red haired woman.
"What can we do to help?" Isra asked.
OOC
The amulet that Isra gives Ari'sora is a renown item. Specifically this: An amulet. The chain and setting for the jewel is made out of Crystalline (tier 2), and Cobalt (tier 4). The cobalt used appears black, and the crystalline appears purple, giving it the appearance of being a very dark purple-black that can appear to be either dark purple or black depending on the lighting. And the cobalt lends its durability to the metal, making it a lot harder to break than crystalline alone would be. The jewel is a thumb length teardrop shaped labradorite (tier 7). This a local renown item with the following abilities: This amulet does two things. When the wearer closes their eyes and focuses on the amulet in silence for several trills, it acts as a mirror to the wearer's mind, reflecting images and memories that trouble the wearer (emotional trauma, fears, etc.). It also suppresses things that would prevent the wearer from dealing with whatever troubles them. This can be a feeling of shame or reluctance to seek help in dealing with their trauma, or in Ari'sora's case, the inability to recover from emotional trouble caused by a sacrifice she made. It goes a step further in that it gives its wearer the feeling that seeking help is the right thing to do. The amulet is unable to heal any kind of trauma itself, but it allows its wearer to recover from their trauma - whether naturally over time (in the case of insults and such), or by seeking help in some form.
Use: The amulet must be in contact with its wearer in order to work, but it must be attuned to its wearer in order to work. It takes three trials of wearing it constantly to attune itself to its wearer so it can work. Once this is done, it will do what it is intended to do. But if its owner stops wearing it for three trials or longer, it will need to be reattuned to its wearer before it will work for them again. The approval for the item is here
Use: The amulet must be in contact with its wearer in order to work, but it must be attuned to its wearer in order to work. It takes three trials of wearing it constantly to attune itself to its wearer so it can work. Once this is done, it will do what it is intended to do. But if its owner stops wearing it for three trials or longer, it will need to be reattuned to its wearer before it will work for them again. The approval for the item is here