• Mature • Pirate Trouble
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 8:23 pm
Profession: Bootiful Bean
Point Bank Thread
Wealth Tier: Tier 1
Points awarded: 10
None - Non-lucid dream
Skill Review: Non-lucid dream
Another interesting non-lucid dream! Pirates are always interesting and you really got into the scene with some vivid imagery. You did great with all the npcs in this piece! There was a lot packed in here for a solo and that can sometimes be tricky.
I've mentioned it before and I think it bears repeating - you have a tendency to pack a ton into paragraphs, and sometimes almost to the point where its hard to figure out what's going on. It might help to try to limit paragraphs to one or two main ideas and see how that goes? You might find things flow better.
As well, there are occasions where you go from one point to another, and don't really clue the reader in on how you got there. That can be jarring for someone following a story. Try and add some connecting dots and I think the way things progress in the story will be much more natural..
All in all, good job!
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding this review, feel free to PM. Enjoy your rewards!
word count: 206