• Mature • Pirate Trouble

This is where the majority of dreaming threads will take place.

Moderator: Staff

User avatar
Approved Character
Posts: 157
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:02 pm
Race: Mixed Race
Renown: 0
Character Sheet
Character Wiki
Point Bank Thread
Wealth Tier: Tier 5



Pirate Trouble

Saun 5 720

Goku and the late teen named Charles that accompanied him on his patrol to the island had run into quite a few pirates that needed dealing with. Goku had tried his best to rescue some hostages but it did not take long before he realized he was way in over his head. He expected to rely on being vastly superior to the pirates which ended up not being the case. Long story short, it would be apparent that Goku had not had the best time intervening with these pirates. There was something about them that was making things very difficult that he could not put his finger on. As they fired their weapons at him he ran like hell to cover which did not bode well for the hostages. Several of them were hit by the collateral damage which Goku felt bad for but it was better than dying. Goku ran into the tropical wilderness and tried to take refuge. Every so often an arrow would whiz past him and embed itself into a tree. Goku had an arrow removed once before. It was painful – he even had a scar to prove how big a chunk of skin came out from the procedure.

Goku peeked and saw that Charles had stepped in to pick up his slack. He was just the kind of backup that Goku needed. He possessed speed and power that Goku was incredibly astonished by. The teen was like a streak of lightning that jumped from pirate to pirate and dispatched them with ease. “Holy cow,” Goku would say after calming himself a little. He then took off back towards the fight when more pirates came. They had long since stopped worrying about him since he had fled so Goku regained the element of surprise. “Remember me?” he shouted as he shoulder checked one of the pirates from behind drawing their fire back towards him.

The pirates didn’t even know where to fire because they were getting their butts kicked from every angle. They started to flee which was exactly what Goku wanted to happen. If they fled, they would not be a hazard to these hostages any more. Cries of retreat soon echoed throughout this side of the island followed by the pirates’ mad dash into the wilderness. Goku did not give chase yet because there were other things to attend to. By the time he finished checking up on the hostages he saw that his teen accompaniment had taken care of the pirate ship’s weaponry which was another task off the checklist.

Goku shouted, “got to round up the rest of the pirates and get the stolen cargo off the ship!” He ran over to meet up with Charles since he was feeling a bit winded from all the fighting. Chasing down dozens of pirates was going to be a big pain that he would put off as long as possible. Besides, there were plenty of injured and dead pirates lying around. Any pirate with a brain would keep their head down and wait for this to all blow over instead of making more trouble.

In the depths of the docked pirate ship a captain sat lazily in his quarters. He heard a lot of commotion outside but did he care? His men were well trained and they had plenty of weaponry at their disposal. These waters had been theirs to pillage for as far as he could remember. Nobody had dared stand up to them after they’d had their way with the first few island villages. He had a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. He sipped on his tasty tea and tried his best to keep the noise out of his head. His underlings knew better than to fail him. Those that did usually met their end by his sword. He was reading a romance novel about a pirate who wooed the baddest dame of them all with his treasure. He even blushed at the friskier scenes. Then there was a rumbling from above deck that caused the whole ship to move. Now that worried him.

The captain put on his hat and adjusted it in the mirror even as the ship continued to shake. Someone was doing quite a bit of destruction up there. The captain gave himself a slick smile in the mirror as he grabbed his sword and then he was off. He leapt from his quarters in a single bound and appeared to face off against whoever was causing all this racket. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Goku and Charles standing there. The captain’s eyes scanned the deck that was littered with broken cargo, weapons, and even his own employees. His gaze ended with the pirate that was nearest to him.

“Johnny tell me what happened right this instant!” barked the captain.

“It’s exactly what it looks like captain. We lost.” The pirate lackey named Johnny met his end moments later by his captain’s blade.

The captain wiped the blade on his coat tail to rid it of the fresh blood. He did not seem very worried about his current situation. “Is that so? You two must be fairly capable. I take it there’s only two of you? That’s mighty impressive. I’ll give you this one chance to leave before I get serious. Normally I’d make a break for it but there’s far too many valuables on my ship to part with and I’ll do anything to defend my treasure.” He brandished his sword at Goku as he was the adult and waited for his reply.

Goku was taken aback by how confident the captain seemed. Goku felt confident after having helped Charles get rid of so many pirates. The two of them were capable enough to take out all those pirates so a captain seemed easy. Goku said, “Like you, I have come too far to back down. Let’s do this!”

The hybrid’s wings spread wide and shimmered in the sunlight. Goku drew his longsword and held it with both hands in front of him. His stance was neutral as he did not yet know if he would have to do the attacking or defending yet. The captain answered that for him by dashing to Goku in the blink of an eye. The tip of the captain’s thin rapier slashed Goku’s stomach. Goku’s sword came just a second too late to intercept the rapier and by the time he completed his slash the captain had already adjusted his position.

“He’s fast.” Goku thought uselessly. He adjusted his stance to be more defensive and parried the rapier that came right for his face. The incredibly quick footwork and swings of the rapier was a lot more than Goku was used to dealing with. Even when Goku focused as hard as he could he still could barely follow the movements.

“I need some help here,” Goku said to Charles as he jumped backward. The captain did not seem to want to go for Charles yet. Goku’s lingering suspicion was that he was not good at multi combat. This would be a good thing if Charles could find a good opening. The worry was that the captain had some tricks up his sleeves to deal with disadvantageous situations.

Goku leapt backwards when the next flurry of rapier stabs and swings came. As usual the captain stopped just so such that his rapier’s tip would be able to meet its target. This time however the blade missed due to Goku’s preemptive dodge.

Goku ran through his options and picked one. He thought “I wonder how he’ll do against this strategy” as he held his sword out with both hands and started to spin wildly. He spun like a top and approached the captain so that he could prevent his foe from getting too close. Goku’s blade was longer than the captain’s so logic dictated that the hybrid would be safe. Oh how wrong he was.

The captain put an elbow against the mast of the ship and laughed at Goku’s slow attack. He had never seen such foolishness in all his years. He wondered how his crew had been beaten by such an unworthy adversary. “Sorry to say but this is the end for you,” the captain said when Goku finally got to him. The pirate pulled out a small dagger that was hidden underneath his coat and blocked Goku’s blade with ease. The sword flew out of Goku’s hands and sent a shockwave of pain throughout his entire body due to the impact. He would not have time to even register what had happened before he was impaled by the rapier. Seconds later Goku’s body was kicked aside to die quietly.

Goku’s body rolled once and ended up face down while he slowly bled out. Was Charles going to be able to defeat this captain in his stead? That was Goku’s only hope for survival at this point. He thought “I wish I could… at least see the fight…” as his vision blurred and the blackness of unconsciousness finally overtook him.

word count: 1553
User avatar
Posts: 888
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 8:23 pm
Race: Prophet
Profession: Bootiful Bean
Renown: 0
Point Bank Thread
Wealth Tier: Tier 1





Re: Pirate Trouble


Review Rewards

Name: Goku

Points awarded: 10

None - Non-lucid dream

Skill Review: Non-lucid dream

Another interesting non-lucid dream! Pirates are always interesting and you really got into the scene with some vivid imagery. You did great with all the npcs in this piece! There was a lot packed in here for a solo and that can sometimes be tricky.

I've mentioned it before and I think it bears repeating - you have a tendency to pack a ton into paragraphs, and sometimes almost to the point where its hard to figure out what's going on. It might help to try to limit paragraphs to one or two main ideas and see how that goes? You might find things flow better.

As well, there are occasions where you go from one point to another, and don't really clue the reader in on how you got there. That can be jarring for someone following a story. Try and add some connecting dots and I think the way things progress in the story will be much more natural..

All in all, good job!

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding this review, feel free to PM. Enjoy your rewards!


word count: 206
Post Reply Request an XP Review Claim Wealth Thread

Return to “Dreamscapes & The Veil”