- Posts: 888
- Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 8:23 pm
- Race: Prophet
- Profession: Bootiful Bean
- Renown: 0
- Point Bank Thread
- Wealth Tier: Tier 1
Points awarded: 10
Injuries/Overstepping: Sore muscles for the next 2 trials. The first trial will be mild. The second, much more intense upon waking that morning.
Skill Review: See notes below
Hello, hello! This is my first review of your character and it was a lovely read. Welcome to ST!
You tossed in some nice details about the environment and Goku's thinking. It's always nice for the reader to try and understand the character's environment and motivations. I found it interesting that he 'punishes' himself for sleeping in with exercise, although it doesn't seem like it's working very well!
That being said, we have a few issues that I'm going to expand upon. Please consider these constructive comments meant to help you settle in here and understand skills and the process better.
You wrote Goku doing approximately 40 push-ups before answering the door. There is no issue with these push-ups - you described struggling and effort, which was appreciated and appropriate. However, after he returned to doing the push-ups, you wrote that he did sixty more within the span of an hour (break)...and it was all within one sentence. Because of this, I can't award all three strength knowledges you requested. In the future, please remember to put the same amount of work into the end of skill training as you do the beginning - does that make sense? Also, at the novice level, I don't see Goku doing one-hundred pushups with novice strength/endurance/discipline. Please remember the level you are at and what your character would be capable of.
Also, I am unable to award you the socialization knowledge. This is the first line of the socialization skill guide: "Socialization is a skill that measures a person's skill at relating to and building relationships with strangers." Both interactions acknowledged in the thread are people that the character is familiar with. In the case of the widow, so much so that he knows he can get her to give him treats if he talks to her. While socialization can be used for longer-term purposes, as a new character, and without an established history with these npcs in threads, socialization knowledge is difficult to justify. Etiquette might be a viable alternative. Don't worry as this is a common error! I made it several times as a new writer here until a kind reviewer pointed out the differences to me.
You have three unclaimed knowledge that can be applied to skills used in the thread. Please dm me with what skill you would like to apply those to and I can switch them out for you!
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding this review, feel free to PM. Enjoy your rewards!
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