• Mature • Cup Bearer

Adam learns a thing or to at his job -open-

15th of Ymiden 716

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
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Adam Michaels
Approved Character
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:09 pm
Race: Human
Renown: 0
Character Sheet
Wealth Tier: Tier 1



Cup Bearer

15th Trial of Ymiden 716 Evening

It had seemed like his time in this sepulture of debauchery had paid off. He had access to experts of seduction to teach him there ways, most notably his friend Bubbles. She was particulary slick at this courtesan thing, to most she was a prostitute but too Adam she had become a friend. Today Bubbles would teach him how to properly execute a seducers look, not for free of course. Adam had learned that when he poured a patron wine, they might ask him a thing or two about the entertainment and if they looked like they had money all roads of conversation would lead to her. Maybe it was an investment in an even exchange, or maybe he had been manipulated by the woman's charms as he learned to flutter lashes and she walked away with the coins. But he sat there going over the movement of his head and the subtle facial gestures that made him look like a hot prospect for a fun filled night. But still there were other things like how his slate grey eyes had to flow with that movement, and lock onto his target. Subtle seduction might involve not only what you say but how you say it. I can make it ___ for you, would be the phrase that she instructed Adam to work with. Fun, Hot, Good, Sexy, we're all words he could add to that quip but his instructor Bubbles seemed insistent that it be used after a compliment.

My you have lovely eyes, hair, smile , I don't always put myself out there like this but I can make it good, fun, hot for you...tonight, today. How about you and I go someplace a little more private?

The Courtesan rambled on about posture and language but in the midst of all this touch had to be invoked, the cheek, the shoulder, her hand. His teacher kept repeating how crucial that step was, even if it was sensual or not.

It was Adams time now to turn his head and give Bubbles a bashful smile while moonlight grey eyes locked onto hers. His hand reached out to touch Bubbles fingers before saying.

"Your positively glowing in that dress"

He lurched towards her shoulder so that he may whisper the rest.

"I don't often do this, but maybe you can teach me more in your room later tonight? I can make it good for you."

His teacher smiled, and gave him a proper send off from the bar so that he may continue practicing his new techniques. Each one simple and easy to miss but each one crucial in its own way, like ingredients for a cake. Forget an ingredient add to much or little and your desert is a disaster so Adam would follow bubbles recipe for a hard hitting ice breaker.

As usual Adam walked up to a client and ever so carefully filled there cup. Roaming the floor one after another, some clients busy with the roses, others more than eager to ask him what merchandise was the best. He'd already met a few whores he found detestable he'd point those scrubs in there direction like he was doing them a favor. And continue on his merry way pouring wine into glasses until he spotted a man. He thought he saw the glimmer of onyx on a bracelet but it could have been gold, the man seemed educated and we'll dressed. This seemed like the kind of client Bubbles wanted, the kind that had deep pockets and status. In the game the only thing that mattered was the ladder and the climb.

Adam watched as Bubbles began pulling strings of the man's heart. Where most saw this woman as nothing more then a prostitute he saw magic of a different nature unfurl before his eyes. The woman was well on her way to possibly riding the meat pole to fame and fortune if she knew how to play the encounter. It was a scandalous revelation, but somewhere it clicked in his mind that this gambit could pay off in ways he'd never expected. Maybe he should test his loin with some high born maiden, perhaps plant his seed in her and secure his spot at the noble table it was a propisition his mind would not soon forget.

Instead he was filling cups for important people, so they can get drunk and sleep with unimportant people. But he saw with great detail a chink in the social ladder to be exploited, he was destined for greatness but first he'd have to learn more about seduction as he filled crystal glasses like a royal cup bearer.

After all for now that was his job, but one day he'd be more so much more.
word count: 810
User avatar
Posts: 302
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:07 am
Race: Mixed Race
Renown: 0
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Wealth Tier: Tier 1



RP Medals



Cup Bearer


Bubbles: Friend and seductress
Seduction: The Look
Seduction: Playful banter
Discipline: Seduction is a subtle art, don't cut to the chase

Loot: n.a
Injuries: n.a
Fame: n.a
Magic: These points cannot be used for magic

Story: 2/5
Collaboration: 0/5
Structure: 0/5

Comment: No speech-marks when the NPC speaks? “Riding the meat pole”? Wow. I got to say I didn't find much story here until the end, and even then his aspirations weren't to aspire to much more than his profession, as a man-whore I'm guessing? Unsure why you submitted an unfinished thread? I get that sometimes we lose our flow and just want to start over, but you could have done a lot more with this, especially the rich man. A murder gone wrong, the frantic cover up, bubbles being offed because “she's just a lowborn play thing for rich men,” explore the character's emotions a bit at finding his friend and teacher hurt, or worse? I see potential and you seem like a good writer. Don't waste it. Captivate, enrich, inspire.

Your Character Sheet needs a few updates. Skills are X out of 251 not 250. You need to make it clear what your fast track, racial bonus, and starting points were spent on, even if it's just a note below skills (check out my CS for an example). You also need to include a section on your CS for fame. If you don't update these things it's likely the next person won't review your work. Let me know if you need any help.
word count: 276
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