• Graded • A Dark Beast Stirs

2nd of Ymiden 716

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Noth
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Posts: 829
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 4:51 pm
Race: Mixed Race
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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Within the wilds outside of Etzos
2nd Ymiden, 716


The darkness entered it's death throes as light crept slowly into the natural stone construction. The shadow retreated fearfully away from it's encroaching oppressor, and was forced to yield several feet before finally the unstoppable line of light conceded, standing guard in a solid, unbroken line; a border between the day and the night. Deeper within the gloomy setting lay a figure coated in the same blackness that surrounded him. He tossed and turned as his sleep finally came to an end, and blinked away tired eyes as they gazed upon the glorious intruder that was the sunlight. With an irritated sigh, Noth lazily displaced the blanket from his body, and arose away from the sleeping bag that eagerly beckoned for his return. The hybrid the color of twilight ran a hand through his feathers, scraping away loose dust and stone that had become entangled whilst he rested.

Ymiden had come only a trial previous, but now it seemed to have further solidified it's presence, and that meant that Noth needed to begin a work that he had held off for far too long. His home was a solid cave, and there was little to no danger in it ever collapsing, but that did not mean it was completely safe. It's entrance had only been kept blocked by a singular rotten log which had begun to be broken by opportunistic beasts as they lusted for prey. The cave mouth was massive, and there was no chance that he would ever be able to prevent the flying creatures that fluttered into it; usually bats. That did not mean that he could do nothing to prevent possible attack by other hostile animals, but any attempt at fortifying his position meant a massive amount of work.

He was at least fairly confident in his ability to craft together a set of spikes hewn from logs, though admittedly he had no experience with that manner of crafting. Before he could ever attempt to create his intended defenses, he would need to find a way to create a hatchet or wood ax of some manner. Noth grasped at the fur clothes he had taken previously in his life when he had been faced with the plight of his father's murder, and promptly dressed himself for outdoors work. He also withdrew one of the pair of knives he had set into his stores, and prepared to adventure into the woods for the sake of discovering adequate wood pieces for the creation of his desired tool.

The wind blew gently through the trees, providing a pleasant breeze as the loner stumbled hither, and thither. It wasn't just that the mixed blood could feel the wind caressing his blue tinted skin underneath his shadowy feathers, but he could also see the majesty of it as it bounced around throughout the forest. One of the reasons that Noth had chosen to live where he had was the simplistic calmness of the area; something that assisted in countering the fires of his hatred. He had almost become too preoccupied with the beauty of the wind to notice the large branch upon the ground. He gripped his hand around it, and felt it's significant weight. In it's current state, there was no doubt that the branch would be unusable, but if he were able to chip away at it with the knife over a long period of time, then the branch could have worked well for his project.

With his search outside completed, the hybrid began to make his way back towards his cave home, keeping a careful eye on his surroundings in the unlikely event of a sudden animal attack. There was no doubt in his mind that monsters roamed the lands, but for the most part he had managed to either avoid any possible encounters, or to hide away in the cave. There had been encounters before where he had been required to fire upon them with his trusty bow, but he had difficulty in scoring killing, or even clean shots upon those creatures when the time came. It wasn't fear that made his shooting inaccurate, but rather just a lack of skill. He wasn't nearly as accustomed to the weapon as he would have liked, and he began to make a mental note to-

Something stirred in the bushes to his immediate right. Noth spun about on his heel, casting a nervous glance about the place as if though expecting some hideous abomination to stir from it's resting place, and to devour him. If it came, he would gladly give it scars to remember him by with the knife at his side, but he wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could actually prevent something like that. His bird-like eyes locked upon the bushes, and time seemed to tick on impossibly slow. Finally, the creature burst from the bushes in a torrent of motion, leaping around with it's powerful hind legs. The sudden movement made the hybrid twitch slightly, but otherwise he found himself immediately calming at the sight of the pathetic rabbit. It was aggravating to be worried about being devoured by wild animals, and he began to consider ways that he might eliminate that threat, but none came to mind beyond simply exterminating every predator in the woods, and that simply wasn't happening.









word count: 911
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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After the experience with the frightening creature in the bush had concluded, Noth continued on his way home. It was strange sometimes to think about how he considered the cave to be his home. His previous home had fallen apart by his own hand, and he often reminisced about what he could have done differently to save it from it's collapse. Those thoughts often led to ones filled with grief, and they made his heart ache as if impaled by a rafter. Simultaneously the hybrid had managed to be the cause, and the victim of his father's demise. He had had trouble controlling himself in those days, and that same difficulty transferred itself to him now in the form of his endless anger, and rage directed towards the Immortals who allowed the treacherous events to occur.

He resolved to mentally analyze something else, and moments later the thoughts had all but vanished from his troubled mind. The cave was not far away from the city of Etzos, and it would only have taken him a short walk of around twenty bits to be in view of the adobe constructs. If he hadn't been damned at birth, he was fairly certain that he could have flown the distance in only half the time, and that way would also have allowed him to avoid any potential bandits, or predators lurking about out of sight.

Noth entered into the shadowy mouth of the cave, allowing his eyes to adjust to the plethora of shapes that covered it. If one looked at the stones that spat out from the ceiling, and that jabbed forth from the ground in the right manner, they could easily conceive faces, or as the forms of hidden beasts. That might have been the reason that the cavernous structure had remained empty when he had first established himself as it's occupant; because it terrified others. It probably didn't help that the only visible creature that ever stalked about in the shadows seemed to be nearly composed of them, and had brilliant red eyes to match his horrific visage. The goose that provided early warning to the presence of intruders was also a splendid deterrent towards pesky explorers. Most people had heard the bark of a dog, and could identify them as a possible threat, but not one that need be worried about. Many soldiers had not however heard the shrieking insanity that was a goose, and hidden in the depths of gloom and fog, it became an effective tool of terror.

The hybrid sat upon the blanket that he had previously used for rest, and hurriedly allowed the wooden branch to clatter to the ground with a dull thud, and a rustle. He held the knife in his hand for a moment, allowing it to glint off of the faint rays of sunlight peeking through the blinds of darkness, and watching as it fell invisible upon his ghoulish feathers. He relaxed himself, allowing his singular wing to stretch out, and began to work at chopping away the unnecessary pieces of wood. When it proved nigh impossible to actually remove the chunks of wood with his knife, he resorted to using heavy rocks, and his own hands to break away pieces, and to smooth them over afterwards with the more delicate tool.

It was amateurish, and looked abhorred, but he supposed that it's performance mattered far more than it's appearance. Noth gripped at the loose chunks of wood, tossing them away from himself and towards the rotted log near the entrance of the cave. Every piece had a use of some manner, and he figured that he could ignite them at the end of the day to allow for additional security. The only issue with that plan was that it had a potential to draw forth unruly and vile individuals who were drawn to the chance for an easy robbery. If anyone came to mess with him, they would soon regret it. He wasn't an expert swordsman, or a master archer. He could not shoot the arrow from the top of a man's head with reliable enough accuracy to guarantee that he not pierce him through his eye. Despite that, his anger lent him all the strength and ferocity that he ever needed, and whilst he doubted his chances with savage creatures, he felt that he at least matched the viciousness of cruel men.



word count: 742
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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The knife slithered along the edge of the wood once more, peeling away a sliver of bark, and revealing the material underneath the skin. This process continued several times as Noth gradually cleaned the chunk. It had taken nearly two breaks to finally set the tool into a desired shape, and weight, and his attention shifted every few seconds in an attempt at discovering something more interesting happen, but it was to no avail. The Avriel side of his mind constantly maneuvered towards brash conduct with quick results, and the idea of sitting still for several breaks whittling away at a piece of wood made it anxious for the chance to escape into the world once more. The blade caught against a particularly rough knob, and the hybrid jerked harshly against it, yanking the knife through the knob and landing a gentle cut along his own hand. Immediately he dropped the knife and timber in surprise, glancing at his hand, and then back at the offending tool. A singular droplet of blood splattered down onto the cave floor, and the twilight being grasped at the knife, hurling it over towards his other items with hatefulness flooding his system.

A bit later and he was back to his normal, slightly less violent temperament. His hand found the knife stashed among his possessions, and he returned to his work. The wound ached, but was otherwise not terribly painful, nor damaging to his health. At absolute worst he figured it would heal completely in a couple of trials, and at best by the end of the trial. The process of skinning the tree chunk continued, and soon the final pieces of bark had been removed. Each had been taken off in equal length strips, and he placed them aside carefully; he wanted to preserve them for later in the hope they might act as natural rope.

His stomach rumbled for a moment underneath the mountain of feathers that constituted his body, and he glanced outside into the sunlight, noting that it had picked up in intensity since earlier in the day. It occurred to him that he had yet to eat any form of breakfast in his rush to begin work, and now he was paying the price. Noth placed both his constructed tool, and the one that was still being made upon the blanket, and arose from his sitting position. He wasn't under the impression that there was any food left inside of his barrels, and he wasn't inclined to go fishing as it would take far too much of his time. He twisted upon his heel, casting his crimson gaze upon Vern in hope that he might provide a meal. The hybrid crept forth towards his pet, and gently stroked it's head with his fingers, reaching under him and clutching at a lone egg. Vern didn't react much to the interaction, but the slight twitches of his head seemed to indicate that he didn't enjoy being touched.

The egg was nearly the size of his hand, and he cleaned off the excess dirt, and grime from it's exterior as he moved towards the ash-coated firepit located near the rotten log. Fuel for ignition had already been provided in the form of the previous scraps from earlier, and Noth pushed half of them away from the pit; a precaution so that he had available fuel for later. He gently lay the egg in the pit, and returned to his pile of possessions, scooping up a matchbook. Starting fires wasn't terribly difficult, and there were a set few rules to the process, but that didn't mean that Noth didn't take several bits still creating flame. The wood was dry, but there was little in the way of tinder. A quick trip outside of the cave, and onto the rocky top of it revealed a patch of drying grass that had definitely been picked through in the past. Another bit passed with the inclusion of the tinder, and soon the fire had started up slowly, growing in intensity as wood was added to it's diet.

The flame matched his eyes perfectly, and he watched it grow with fascination as it danced around. When it had finally become large enough, he pierced the goose egg with a stick; careful not to completely shatter it, and held it over the fire, allowing the flames to lap hungrily at it. It wasn't the most efficient method of cooking, and the hybrid was well aware of that. His misfortune had been that he had not been able to grab any metal pots, nor pans during his flight away from his old home. He had been forced to commit to less effective ways of cooking the egg for the sake of having a source of food constantly available. He cast a glance back at Vern, noticing as he jumped over the log, and went to eating various foliage outside of the cave. It was fine that the goose explore around the cave, but he was trained not to ever move out of sight, lest he be torn asunder by a predator.

Finally, the egg seemed to have cooked to sufficiency, and it was removed from the brazen blaze. It was hot to the touch, and Noth allowed it to cool for a moment before placing it upon a flat stone jutting out from the wall that he had made his 'plate', and cracking it open. The egg seeped slowly out of it's shell, and despite it's somewhat runny consistency, it had clearly been cooked. He drew his other knife forth, and began to separate the egg into several bite-sized pieces before beginning his meal; forced to use his fingers in place of silverware. One day he would make a journey to Etzos, and collect the necessary items that he needed to continue his life in the cave, but until then he would simply have to make do. A piece of egg reached his mouth, and he hungrily devoured it, allowing it's succulent taste to flood through his system as it was smashed to pieces, and promptly swallowed. It was a delicious meal, and he felt sufficiently filled by it to continue his work.




word count: 1050
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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The entire process of creating an ax had proven to be difficult, but perhaps the hardest part would be locating a stone to act as the ax head. Noth lived inside of a cave, and there was no shortage of loose stones laying undisturbed upon the ground, nor was there a lack of potential natural spikes in the form of the stalactites hidden throughout. However, despite the abundance of rocks, the stone that he needed had to be sharp on one end, and dull on another, and it also had to match the size of the tool handle that he had already constructed. To locate his desired item, he would have to venture deeper into the cave, and that meant he required a source of light other than the sunlight still pouring through the veil of shadow.

Rummaging through his supplies brought forth a torch, and he quickly ignited the end using the still lit fire that he had used for cooking his meal. Vern had since returned to her nest, and snuggled within the confines of it. She wouldn't be laying eggs for much longer into the season, but she had proven incredibly useful in helping him with the occasional meal. All in all, her use lay more in her ability to warn him of danger than it did in providing a meal source, but in the future he could allow her to produce goslings to supplement his diet if necessary. It would be necessary to retrieve multiple ax heads in the event that one didn't work, or that his inexperience led to it's shattering, and so he retrieved one of his rucksacks, and girded himself with it. The torch flickered and danced around as he delved into the shadows, clutching at a knife in his hand as he explored.

It had never been necessary to go very deep into the cave, and most of the time Noth attempted to block off the passageways with loose stones in the oft chance that something else dwelt beneath the ground. The greatest danger of spelunking throughout the subterranean passageways wasn't the gnawing threat of monsters, but rather- He stopped dead in his tracks, glaring out at the vast chasm before him that seemed to fall into the depths of oblivion. The inky black below never ended, and the light lapped as best it could at it, hungrily tearing it away before retreating under the onslaught of the dark. The chance of falling into one of the deep pits was quite high; especially when one didn't have an adequate light source to amplify the entire area around them, and they were searching for something, and therefore only paying half-minded attention to the threat.

A full blooded Avriel would have laughed at the threat of falling, and simply flown over any such dangers, but Noth only had a single wing attached to his back, and that would not allow him to gracefully glide down into the abyss as well as his accursed brethren. He backed away from the chasm, his crimson eyes scanning the ground for a loose stone fitting his description so that he might leave the tunnels. There was a loose pile of assorted gravel, and broken stones lain in a pile where a large chunk of rock had fallen, and shattered during a quake of some manner. His hand groped at the stones, feeling their roughness, and noting the occasional candidate for his ax. Time seemed to stretch on for eternity as he knelt there picking at stones, but finally he had set aside around a dozen that would possibly work. He took the rucksack attached to his stomach, and filled it with the objects before retreating out of the tunnels, and back into his home.

word count: 632
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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Clattering noises filled the cave for a brief moment as the rucksack was emptied out onto the floor. The offending items left the occasional scuff upon the ground, but otherwise were in perfect condition. Noth had managed to procure enough of them that if one were to break it wouldn't slow his project tremendously, but he hoped that it wouldn't come to that. Thus far several breaks had passed, and he wasn't even close to having finished completely, but he supposed that was the price to pay for living alone in the wilderness, and thus having to manufacture his own tools. A vast collection of rope was removed from his stores, and placed near the blanket along with the many candidate stones, and the handle of the ax which had already been readied.

In his mind, Noth had viewed the creation of a stone ax to be a simple enough process; one that even a child could accomplish, but upon actually viewing the items laid out before him he came to the conclusion that he had absolutely no idea how he was supposed to attach them together. He placed one of the best stones against the end of the hilt, and chopped away a line of rope nearly a foot long. The rope was far too fat to successfully tie together the items, and so he set about whittling away at it with his knife to create string. One of the strings created seemed to be adequate for his purposes, but the dregs of the sub-project were utterly useless, and he cast them into the waiting maw of the nearby fire, watching as it gulped them down hungrily.

The hybrid ran his fingers nimbly along the objects, tying the string upon the stone, and handle, and forming what he believed to be a successful ax. It was a glorious creation, and though it definitely appeared to have been created by an amateur, he was proud of it. The wind whistled slightly as he swung it freely throughout the cave, getting a feel of it's hefty weight. He swung once more, and the clattering sound played in his ears far before he noticed that the stone had slipped away from the ax. His project had utterly failed, and he angrily hurled the remaining items against the wall, allowing them to fall to the ground. The twilight being bristled, and his eyes glared crimson death upon the offending items. This was stupid, and he didn't want to pursue the project anyway. It was a massive waste of his time, and he was ashamed that he had even considered putting it into practice.

Many bits passed before his emotions subsided, and logic returned to it's throne in his mind. It might not have been the most entertaining goal that he had ever set, but the idea of being rent to death by predators in the night was far less appealing than learning to accomplish his goals, and to stick with them. He decided that it was worth it for him to finish his projects, and that abandoning them would make little change for the better. The process of before was repeated, but this time with a differing rock than previous. Once he had finished tying this one together, he noted that it felt remarkably sturdier, and a few test swings showed that it had retained it's position upon the handle instead of flying away from his grip.

Pride filled his soul, and he marched outside of his cave, looking out over the horizon for an adequately small tree to practice his lumberjack skills upon. He approached a particularly young one, and noted that it's branches were only now beginning to split in twain. His grasp closed heartily around the ax, and he shifted his weight into the blow, sending it hurtling like a cannon towards the tree. The loud cracking of the bark was satisfying, and he found that his creation had stood firm in the face of resistance. It would take a long while to remove the tree from it's place, but he was confident that it could be done. Noth continued hacking away at the foliage with eager abandon, forgetting his surroundings for a while, and engaging in his activity with wholeheartedness. It was an efficient way of relieving his negative emotions, and he found himself slashing at the trunk with renewed vigor and strength whenever he thought of the things that ailed him.



word count: 753
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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A Dark Beast Stirs

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The tree ached with a startling roar as it suddenly began to tilt. It's branches scratched fervently at the air as it attempted to get a foothold onto something, anything to prevent its' fall. Noth imagined that if it had a mind, it would be marred with tangible clouds of helplessness in it's dying breaths. The loud crackle of it's bark as it split, and peeled slowly away from the point of impact announced the final instance wherein the tree truly remained alive. It crashed to the ground with a raucous thud that the hybrid was sure he could feel vibrating in his lungs. Discordance faded as the task at hand came to mind, and the vigil for the fallen giant was abandoned to pursue the necessary labors required in finishing the project.

Noth considered grasping onto one end of the tree, and simply dragging it back towards his cavernous home, but that would likely be quite difficult considering it's size. He bent slightly, placing the ax onto the ground as he groped against the sides of the trunk, feeling the bark's inherent roughness lap against his fingers as they struggled to find a nook, or cranny from which to lift. None were easily discovered, and so he simply pressed his hands harshly against the foliage, and attempted to retain his grip via direct pressure. Hoisting the corpse of the tree proved to be difficult for several reasons: It was heavy, and it was unwieldy to maneuver. The lumber was dropped once more to the ground, and the twilight being discerned that he had only managed to move it a few steps away from where it's previous accommodation had been located.

He set upon the trunk once more, grasping his knife and cutting into the bark at several equidistant points. Those marks would provide a guideline for his ferocious cutting, though the general savagery with which he struck against it had the possibility of making the additional effort futile. Noth found the ax where he had left it laying, and began to lop away at his designations. His muscles strained as blow after blow rained down upon his solitary target, but nonetheless he persevered in spite of his exhaustion; his previous mental imagine of being devoured assisted greatly in renewing his vigor when it plummeted.

Finally, after many bits, the trunk had been reduced to four long strips of lumber. Their width was still considerable, but he feigned that they were now simply excessively large branches, and the movement of them did prove to be far easier than when they had remained attached to one another. The slow process of hauling the assorted wooden products to his home was accomplished in record time now that they were slight. The pieces were delicately tossed into the cave's mouth, and the Avriel hybrid sat against the wall to rest his aching arms, and legs from their exercise.



word count: 492
Image

Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Noth
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Eventually, Noth's muscles stopped aching, and he found himself scanning the four pieces of wood. His observation revealed that they had already begun to point slightly on at least one end due to the manner in which he had hacked them to pieces, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would need to sharpen them further to ensure that they were a deadly enough ward to deny any predatory creatures into his abode. It wasn't incredibly likely that the spikes would be usable against any manner of sentient creature as they could simply go around, or remove the spikes from where they would inevitably be placed, but he hoped that the animalistic impulses of a natural entity would keep it from attempting to explore any workarounds to his barrier.

Before any of that could even become a potential reality however, he needed to sharpen the ends. The work was monotonous, but not nearly as tiring as the process of hauling the log chunks to the cave had been. He needed to be meticulous in every swathe that he cut away from the lumber on the end. Thankfully, the knife was reasonably sharp, but it hadn't been created specifically for this purpose, and Noth found himself nearly nicking his finger with the blade. The decision was quickly made to attempt the same process with the only other blade in his collective pile of resources, and he soon discovered that it was far more accustomed to the severing of wood than it's counterpart.

A small pile of wooden shavings, and debris began to litter around his sedentary position, but it was ignored for the time being. The project overall had proven to be far more messy than he had originally planned, and already he could feel the slight shavings of wood catching upon his feathery coat. It was uncomfortable to be filthy, and despite having made his shelter inside of a dark, and supposedly 'dirty' cave, he had managed to retain his standards of cleanliness throughout, and didn't intend to desist that process yet. The Avriel half of him absolutely detested bathing in any form of water, but the human half of himself had managed to convince his mind that the water was alright for cleaning in small amounts. Typically, that involved filling a small jug with some manner of liquid, and pouring it over his feathers. Alternatively, he could just step out into the rain, but the mud tended to collect around his ankles, and that simply caused another mess entirely.

His thoughts snapped to attention as he finished detailing the last of the makeshift spikes. He hadn't bothered with skinning them entirely, and had only really focused on sharpening the ends. If it were going to be a handheld weapon in the manner of a spear, or a pike, then he might have attempted to make the surface smoother, but in this instance it was very clearly just a stick with a point on the end. It was so horribly basic that he was fairly certain that the spike would snap in twain should anything ever actually strike it, but hopefully it would manage to puncture the flesh of whatever abomination attempted such an assault.

The final process of the project involved planting the spikes into the ground, and it took several breaks until he had finally managed to remove the dirt and loose stone sufficiently around the cave's mouth to allow for the planting of the spikes. By then, the trial had already faded into vespers, and he found himself blending in slightly with the background darkness that began to envelop everything around. He was coated in what felt like an entire layer of dirt, grime, and wood shavings, but he gazed upon his accomplishments with prideful recognition. He had created something without the assistance of anyone else, and it made him proud.

Pride was one emotion that didn't deter the gnawing desire to sleep, however, and a few bits of admiration later, the twilight hybrid found himself laying near to his blanket. He didn't quite want to use his normal sleeping arrangements lest they become glazed in destitution, but he relented when it came to using the woolen covering to retain heat. A final glance outwards at the dark skies that loomed just outside of the cave, and at Vern; already fast asleep, were enough to quiet his mind from the trials that he had faced, and he began to doze for whatever trial the next sunrise would bring.



word count: 763
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Credit to Pegasus


As a note: Noth is a Grandmaster in Intimidation. That means that he's at least as scary as the Count from Sesame Street. Beware.

"The tyrant confuses those he can't convince, corrupts those he can't confuse, and crushes those he can't corrupt." - Anonymous
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Come and get your Loot!

(There's plenty more where that came from)


Noth:
Rewards:

  • Story: +5
  • Collaboration: NA
  • Structure: +5

Knowledges:

  • Basic
    • Cave-ins are Not the Only Cave Hazards
    • Making Your Own Tools is No Easy Task
    • No Use Putting Off Necessary Work
    • Past Grief is an Unnecessary Distraction
    • Pride in Self-Sufficiency
  • Specific
    • Bows: Lack of Practice Equals Loss of Skill
    • Cave Location: Twenty Minutes to Sight of Etzos
    • Construction: Huge Doorway Equals Huge Liability
    • Construction: Placing Defensive Spikes
    • Fieldcraft: Cooking Method is Irrelevant as Long as it Works
    • Fieldcraft: Constructing an Axe by Hand
    • Fieldcraft: Fraying Rope to Get String
    • Geese: A Surprisingly Intimidating Cry
    • Intimidation: Inner Avriel Savagery Good Enough Against Men
    • Intimidation: Wild Animals are Good Examples
    • Meditation: Calm Surroundings are a Balm
    • Unarmed Combat: Carving Defensive Spikes

Loot:

Hand-crafted Axe


Loss:

Nothing


Injuries:

A few aches and pains, rest a couple of days


Fame:

Sorry, not exactly an Epic in Heroism


Comments:

Okay, for "Story" I gave you 5 of 5. It was not exactly a riveting plot and you didn't really address the likelihood that the rock used as the axe head would probably need some chipping and sharpening. But it actually flowed very well and had some comic over-and-understatement elements. The thought of the big cavern behind and below was fairly creepy. Basically I kind of wanted to give Noth a high-five for getting it done. Noth had a logical and needful job to get done and he did it. The stone grinding aspect wasn't such a big deal to overlook.

Collaboration: Sorry, solos don't get collaboration points. But there are advantages to not having to rely on someone else' posting habits.

For Structure, I also gave you 5 out of 5. I could list a dozen points where maybe a comma was misplaced or needed; or it looked like you changed a choice of word or phrase, but left in some of the original choice. A couple of sentences bordered on being run-on, but were not truly erroneous. I think they would have worked better as two, slightly reworded, sentences. There's a point where you refer to your Matchbooks when you must have meant tinderbox (we don't have matches on Idalos)

Now, I want to reiterate that this was an enjoyable read, but I do feel compelled to list some points where I think you picked the wrong words.

You have "It was amateurish, and looked abhorred..." I guess you meant "abhorrent", but that isn't really right, as many of the definitions imply synonyms like despicable, or heinous; more like how you would describe a person you loathe, rather than something simply crude looking.
You had "shoot the arrow from the top of a man's head..." I think you meant "apple".
The choice of "brazen" blaze, is a little odd, as it means more like "bold, cocky and confident, without shame."
You have "feigned", which means "faked", when you probably meant "deemed".
"Desisted" is an odd choice to suggest "stopped", but it isn't exactly wrong.
You have "destitution" when I think you meant "detritus", to mean something like a dirty cluttered mess. Destitution basically means poverty.
When you chopped up the log, you described "strips" of lumber. That works for the bark, but not really logs.
And even though "vesper" is a latin term for evening, "vespers" has really come to mean the nightly prayer ceremony in many Christian religions.

I know it sounds like I'm nit-picking the crap out of this. But I wanted to give you examples. The fact is, the story ran along at a very enjoyable pace, and none of these things really took anything away from that. If any of this stuff had truly made the story suffer, I wouldn't have given you 5 points.
PM me with any comments or concerns :)
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