• Mature • [Krome]The Changing Of the Tides

The seven Duchies of Central Rynmere and their respective baronies, cities, towns, villages, and landmarks each overseen by a Duke of one of the seven noble families and ultimately controlled by the King of Rynmere.
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Rita Fenyo
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[Krome]The Changing Of the Tides

2nd Ymiden
Fort Krome, finally here. The village center was an interest. The guards watched the strange creature make her way up the road towards the town, Ithecal were not that common around these parts so Rita made an interesting sight. Weary after so long traveling she was just happy to be somewhere safe and secure, even if the guards were a little on edge. As she had done so many times before she raised her arms in greeting, showing her weapon, exposing her body and meaning no harm.Dark skin amber eyes and long tail. Bandolier around her torso and a long traveling cloak.
“My name is Rita Fenyo, I come for food and shelter.” They guards satisfied that this woman meant no harm carried on about their business.

The houses were strange, either hilltop abodes made of flat stones piled up to make dome like structures with no windows. Up in the were large wooden tree houses. The sound of activity, children, the smell of fresh food being prepared. A large building caught her attention, two stories high and with plenty of guards. A sign reading tax office hung outside.
“Traveler” She looked to the source of the voice, an older gentleman cutting up wood for next winter.
“If you’re looking for some place warm with good drink then the Gerrard's Hall is that way.” She smiled and noded her thanks, going the way he had pointed Soon enough she found it, the architecture was different to most of the houses resembling more of a longhouse than the domes of the houses. It was quite for the time of day, a warm welcoming structure, Rita realising how hungry she was. Opening the door, buffeted by the warmth, sweet smells a mix of food, drink and a roaring hearth.
“Ah an Ithecal, haven’t seen one of your kind in ohh… quite a while now.” The man behind the bar was well built with a beaming smile and kind eyes. A voice of power yet gentle and welcoming. An interesting accent.
“Come, come now don’t be shy. Have a seat right close to the fire there lass.” She liked this place already, a welcoming difference to her experiencing in Andaris.

As instructed she went over and sat by the hearth, setting herself on a large sofa.
“Ah, no need to be formal here lass, put your tail up, there’s a good girl. Something warm, sweet, or strong”
“ Something refreshing please, no alcohol though.”
“Ach no problem, make you something to fight the chill and fill ya with energy. In fact lunch is almost ready, I can get you some if you’d like” She could smell that, her stomach rumbled, smiling at the kindly innkeeper.
“Please, been walking since morning and ran out of trail snacks.” He went off to fetch her drink
“Is the young lass traveling on her own” she settled in getting comfortable.
“Yes been traveling from the hotlands. For the past arc I suppose”
“Hotlands?! My my mighty far distance for a young lass like yourself to travel alone. Hope you didn’t encounter too many nasties.” He brought over her drink and got another smile for his kindness.
“Mostly animals, but I know how to act around them. Uhh one bandit but I got away from her” - cold snow stained in red- she cleared her throat shaking those thoughts. “I managed to get away from her, with a scar to tell the tale.” He paused for a moment and set close.
“And the other lady? If you don’t mind me asking” There was a short pause, she had plenty of time to think over what had happened. To fight the guilt of what had happened.
“Well I managed to grab a dagger and she… well she tried to pounce on me but I managed to get the dagger in the way, right into her right breast. She bleed out on top of me.” His face clouded with worry and concern, voice quieter.
“Well, well, at least you managed to get through with but a scratch. Some people have no concern of others. “ a short pause. The energy came back.
“Anyway, I’ll get you some stew” He patted her tail and got up.
“Do you have any rooms free.”
“Of course, always room at the inn and only two copper per night.” Calling back over his shoulder.
Last edited by Rita Fenyo on Thu Aug 04, 2016 12:39 am, edited 2 times in total. word count: 738
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Rita Fenyo
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[Krome]The Changing Of the Tides


Warm, refreshed and with a belly full of food Rita headed out with just her cloak and stave. Walking south from the town and onto the trade road. It was quite, the air warm as the sun made it’s way towards the horizon. As far as she could see was grassy plains and farms, just to her left however lomed a wall behind traveling in the same direction she was. From what she had gathered from the Innkeeper and other locals was that Krome primarily focused on fishing and hunting game, not being a very large village. They had a Medicine woman called the The Witch of Krome, but a physician was sometimes needed and beyond what the witch was capable of. So Rita had a place to work. The people are very proud, valuing trust and honour above all else, No trouble fitting in then once they had got used to such a strange creature being there.

There on the horizon finally was Lake Harmony, a medium lake branched from the Avari river, and with plenty of time for Rita to get there before the day’s end. The town was founded by Biqaj so the lakes and surround coastline were still an important part of life for the people, an interesting legend was that the founder of Krome commissioned a ship to be filled with his countless treasure that sunk at Lake Krome. The place was rich in culture and history and Rita thoroughly enjoyed it. The people were kind and friendly, not too busy or crowded. There was this nice cottage with plenty of lighting and room for her work and she could earn the money by helping the town in any way she could. The tugging feeling was gone, this was where she was supposed to be and she could understand why. It wasn’t home but it was good.

She unslung the bag from her shoulder. Picked a spot by the water's edge and built a fire like she had done countless times on her journey, setting the pile of logs aflame. Curling up and sitting down, she watched the sun creep below the mountains, light bouncing off of the lakes still water. Slowing her breathing, smelling the woodsmoke and listening to nature. She let peacefulness flow over her, the shadow in the back of her mind. Gently easing herself into a trance like she had done many times as a child. A tingling started at the tip of her tail and gently built up into her navel, torso and finally her mind. Silence. There it was, in the back of her mind. Like a creature hiding in the corner. Striking when she least suspected it. She reached out and grab-
Last edited by Rita Fenyo on Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:10 am, edited 4 times in total. word count: 458
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Rita Fenyo
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[Krome]The Changing Of the Tides


Frigid wind buffeted her, sound of a gale blocking out her senses. She opened her eyes a little too fast, the image fuzzing slightly. Rita just wanted this over with, but still had to be cautious not to lose it. She didn’t know what this was but she had been doing it for a long time. Sometimes she was free and full control. Others… The sound of fighting and a loud moan of pain. She saw herself lying in the snow with a cultist on top of her, knife in her breast. As expected she had little control over this image, she couldn’t stop it or slow it down. Forced to watch, the blood running down the pale naked skin. Her past self, scared, exhausted and beaten. What had she done? Why did she do that? She never wanted to kill her, never wanted to take a life so needlessly. The cultist lowed her hips on to past Rita’s lap with a soft moan, both Rita’s shivering slightly. She couldn’t watch, looking away already knowing what happened next.

Then came pain. Vicious searing pain. Looking up and Rita was filled with fear, a hollow faced humanoid creature, eyes glowing red body looking as if it had frozen and rotted in thaw. This wasn’t the first time she had been attacked in this trance state. This creature she couldn’t quite place. Then it clicked.
“Oh sh-” A bow came down on her throat, cutting off her air. She flexed her hands unleashing a blast of energy sending the once cultist flying. She looked over and saw her past self dead, the dagger too far away, neck broken. Hastily standing up and trying to break the trance… Which didn’t work. An arrow cut the side of her skill, recoiling in pain and fear. Though she had been attacked before she had always been able to break it. A second arrow aimed for her torso, creating an energy shield to deflect it away, hand out summoning her stave.
“Die you fucking bitch” The voice crackled and hollow with a hint of what was once the bandit. It pulled a sword and charged her, darting around blocking with the stave, once, twice, thrice blade coming ever so close to ending her.

Rita was no longer in control, she wasn’t as powerful as this creature and soon… Pain cut through her whole body, blade cutting into her tail and drawing blood.
“Ahh What are you!” It grabbed her by the throat.
“YOU KNOW!” It tossed her like a rag doll. Moaning and desperatly creating walls around her trying to escape, but she was in its domain. Darkness, echoing laughter.
“All those thoughts, all those actions. All filled with guilt. Did you really think you could escape.” She screamed as she fell, slamming onto hard ground with a thud. A groan was all she could manage before clawed, skeletal, hands grabbed her and pulled her down.
“Patience and calm Rita, you can’t stitch a wound when you hand is shaking.” Wood smoke, fire warmth. She started breathing slowly, letting the hands drag her into the ground, cold embrace what she deserved. The smiles of those she had helped, the laughter the friendliness. Long nights staying by their side for company. Asleep in books, her mother's always loving, understanding and family. She was Rita, nothing could change that, a sum of all her parts. First there was darkness and then light.
Rita opened her eyes, standing stave in hand, the creature in front of her. Late Vhalar by the of the wheat field they stood in. Warm wind and smell of harvest. Behind her a red barn house with white trim and black roof. Definitely she stood against the creature.
“Rita you disgust me!” It smiled and as it pulled its arrow back the bow shattered.
“My name is Rita Fenyo, Daughter Ezlaza and Ta'lara, name keeper of Jonathan Fenyo. You are a part of me, a part that I want gone. You do not define me!” Her voice level and calm.
“You are not real, but a personification of guilt and pain. I will not let you defeat me.” It sprang forward in a blur of speed, sword coming down for her, Rita moving with precision blocking every swing. Watching waiting. She struck, stave coming down on it’s side, back and then skull. Beating the creature down relentlessly, onto it’s back stave poised.
“See you in the country” Coming down with all the power she could, smashing its skull open. A long sigh from the creature as the wind blew it away in a wisp of dust. Panting exhausted and full of adrenaline. Rita gently eased herself out. Taking one last look at where she was.
“One day…” it faded away slowly at first then speeding up as it spread, land turning to white-
Last edited by Rita Fenyo on Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:16 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 822
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Rita Fenyo
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[Krome]The Changing Of the Tides


The gentle lapping of lake waves upon the shore, crackle of a fire still going strong. Woodsmoke, water and still night air. Opening her eyes, to see two skies and four Six moons. The night sky was alive with star light, the clouds of the galaxy and the shine of distant planets far outshine by the three moons. It took Rita’s breath away, she always loved seeing the night sky. Something about it was just so spectacular and unfathomable. The night air fresh but not cold. It was nice, peacefull. Rita got up, a little stiff at first, then stripped to nothing. Left her clothes by the fire and lept off a small ledge into the warm clear water. Diving under for a moment before coming up. Body tingling with the sensation, the freedom. She laughed and used her tail to move herself around in the water.

Satisfied with her swim she lay there, spread out on the water's surface looking up at the sky above.
“Mmm could get used to this. The water, the stars… if happiness were a place this would be it. Right now” She floated for a while, the water felt good against her naked body. Eventually though she had to go back in. Rolling over and paddling to shore, using her arms to drag herself out till her tail found land. Sand sticking to her body, making her way back up beside the fire, laying there water droplets clinging to her skin to slowly evaporate off. A deep sigh of satisfaction.

“Never a warrior were you Rita, more interested in fixing people than causing harm.Healers were as important as warriors, those that protect us and those that heal the protectors. Most of her friends had become warriors, Rita working with the battle medics as an apprentice for a while. Well respected and trained. Able to defend themselves from foes and warriors from the hand of death.
“There is no shame in what you do Rita. You are as much a warrior as them, just a different foe we fight.” Laying there contemplating her life at journey's end, warm, comfortable and happy slowly the embrace of sleep captured her.

Dawn light woke her from her slumber. Groggily sitting up and making her way down to the lake bank, dipping hands in and washing the sleep from her eyes. A sound caught her attention, hand drifting for the stave close by. Acting natural back towards the camp, the striking pulling a teenage boy out of the bushes.
“Ah let me go lake creature I don’t want to steal your treasure honest.” She smiled and set the boy down,
“It’s rude to watch people bathe without permission.” He looked relieved.
“Wait you ain't a lake monster.”
“Nope” She slipped on her shirt, followed by her skirt. Using an empty water skin, then filled from the lake, to put out the fire.
“So you’re not going to eat me” She smiled
“Depends how tasty. “ Showing her fangs and laughing. “No no boy, just an ithecal going for a bathe in the lake. Names Rita.”
“Pleasure to meet you miss Rita “ He nodded in respect. She smiled, tossed him a sweet candy she had bought.
“No more peaking on people okay” Starting the long trek back to town, mind clear of the bad thoughts and all the happier. There were a few jobs that she could do when she got back. Her stomach rumbled. After a good meal of course, that innkeeper sure knew how to make a good stew.
END
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[Krome]The Changing Of the Tides

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Rita


Points!:

Story: 4 /5
Collaboration: 0 / 5 (solo thread)
Structure: 3 / 5

Knowledge:

Basic
Location: Fort Krome Village Center
Location: Fort Krome Gerrards Hall
Location: Lake Harmony
The Medicine Woman of Lake Harmony.
Survival: Building Fires Safely.
Swimming: How to dive
Swimming: How to exit bodies of water safely.

Specialised
Lake Krome: Legend of the sunken ship.
Swimming: using a tail when swimming to increase speed
History of Lake Harmony: Founded by Biqaj

Loot:

Loss: 2copper for the room
Gains: None

Fame:

+1 (general good deed to the boy)


Overview:
Overview comments. An interesting thread, where you introduce Rita as a healer and talk about a trauma for her, due to her taking a life. I like that you introduced that in the first post, chatting to the barkeep, and then came back to it. I am a little confused, though, by the 'trance' that Rita is in - I've checked her CS and you don't mention it - is it like lucid dreaming? It might have helped the story flow better if you'd been explicit about that. I assumed it was a dream, where she was semi-lucid, since she couldn't 'wake up'.

Story - it was an interesting story, which told a lot of Rita's personality and way of being. Rita obviously feels very guilty about killing the cultist, that came across strongly. I was a little confused by the "trance" aspect, which detracted from the story.

Structure - In places, your thread would have been improved by proof reading as there are grammatical errors which impact the cohesion and flow of the narrative. Examples include:
- My name is Rita Fenyo, Daughter Ezlaza and Ta'lara, ( daughter of)
-The night air fresh but not cold. (the night air was fresh but )
You start and end with the Inn, which is a nice touch and you introduce some npcs, also. Try to avoid too many very short sentences as they can make your writing seem very 'bitty'.

Please remember to mark this thread as "Reviewed" in the request for review thread.
Please record these in the "Skill Point Ledger" you have in your CS.
PM me if you've got any questions at all!
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