Ymiden 1, Arc 716
Tose had contributed several fat Coypu to the banquet, caught on a communal hunting trip with several other hunters, and they were being prepared, but now though she loved her people, she found that all the noise and bustle was pressing on her, and she had nothing more to give besides smiles anyway. Perhaps later she would take part in the running of the obstacle course, though she did not expect to win. For now though, she needed a break, a breathe of fresh air and blessed silence.
She needed the Makubwa Lori. Tose was not anti-social, far from it. She loved talking with the other villagers. Had shared meals with them often, but this was usually limited to perhaps a double hand of adults. When they were all together, all in the town, all excited.. She would go back and be excited with them, and listen to the stories and share in the food, and laugh with them. But first she needed a breather. For Trials the hunters had gone out each morning together and brought in anything they could get without depleting the surrounding area too badly to make sure the Banquet would be a time of plenty. Tose had become accustomed to having some time to sort her thoughts alone, and without it she was feeling.. Frazzled might be the best word.
As her Nana might have said, her mind was all higgledy-piggeldy, and it needed sorting. Immediately she'd thought of the dancing leaves, and she'd excused herself and made for the Itoju. Her wound was healed now, only a pale scar remained, so she broke into a ground eating lope. What had taken her several breaks before, she covered quickly now. There was less worry of running into a predator, though she had her bow just in case. One last kill would give her a good reason to have left, though she thought most would understand. That was only if the opportunity presented itself though.
Mostly she wanted to meditate. It was hard still, and often she was distracted and lost the quiet within herself, but it was good and she felt better afterwards. More aware, more connected, more prepared for whatever came. She'd not gotten to do it many times since that first, and not at all in her grove, since it was a inconvenient distance away, and in a very rare display of selfishness, Tose did not particularly want to bring the other Hunters there.
If one of them had mentioned needing to learn to meditate, or not being able to find peace, if they had needed it, she would have shared or even given it up of course, but other than that.. It was nice to have a place that was hers. Sometimes she thought of building a small home here, but she did not want to live away from her people, she loved them too much. Besides, though not the best hunter, the lack of her contribution would be felt, and there were many things she did not know how to do or provide for herself.
Absentmindedly as she dropped to kneel in the rough centre of the corpse, having given it a once over to ensure there were no surprises, she run her thumb around the outside of her tree tattoo.
We are all connected, not just where it is seen and obvious, my blood-family, the hunters I run with, but where it is unseen too, those who make the dyes and threads mother uses for my clothes, those who harvest the salt to flavour my food, those who help to support those I love in ways I do not even see. All connected. I do not want to be separate from my family.
A nod unseen by any at this, for she did feel a little guilt at leaving for all that she would be back and had done her part already.
But we must still walk our own paths, and sometimes they are lonely, solitary paths before they converge again.
This, she decided, was not a bad thing. And so she set her guilt aside. She breathed it out in one long breath through her mouth, casting it out to be burned away by the Ymiden sun.
Inner turmoil of the day quieted, she looked up to the leaves, as they danced in a wind she barely felt, once more falling under their nearly mesmerising spell as she listened to them sing. Thoughts of the Banquet, of the obstacle course, of the stories that would be told pulled her to herself many times, but each time with quiet persistence she turned her attention outward again, rejecting the self in favour of the natural world and all that it held if you were not too busy running a commentary on it and thinking of the future.
Finally, finally she got it just so, and sat in perfect stillness, breathing even and barely perceptible, eyes still on the leaves, senses picking up only the sounds and sounds around her.