• PM To Join • A girl by any other name. (Graded)


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Prophet of Old
Posts: 1105
Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:43 pm
Race: Undead (Ghost)
Renown: 999
Character Sheet
Point Bank Thread
Wealth Tier: Tier 1



RP Medals


Re: A girl by any other name.

Thread Review


Obriviyanah Aiden Silverson
Skill Points: +15 (cannot be used for magic)
Magic XP: None.

Renown: None.

Injuries/Overstepping: None.
Wealth Points: None.
Loot: None.

Skill Knowledge:
  • Acting: An Elegant Bow
  • Acting: Maintaining Character
  • Animal Husbandry: How Not to Talk to Cats
  • Discipline: Practicing Restraint When I Know You're Lying
  • Deception: Telling a Partial Truth
  • Socialization: Gift of Gab
  • Socialization: A Gracious Host
  • Socialization: Small Talk
  • Storytelling: False Origin Story #5
  • Seduction: Making Eyes At the Boss's Wife
Non-Skill Knowledge:
  • none requested.
Notes: n/a.
Skills Used: Acting, Discipline, Socialization.
Skill Review: Appropriate to level.
Player Word Count: 3283 words.


Skill Points: +15 (cannot be used for magic)
Magic XP: None.

Renown: +5 (new job with a suspicious last name)

Injuries/Overstepping: None.
Wealth Points: None.
Loot: None.

Skill Knowledge:
  • Deception: Saying one thing and thinking another
  • Deception: Pretending to be what people assume you are
  • Deception: How to Feign Ignorance
  • Deception: Appearing to be focused on one person while watching another
  • Detection: How to know when someone is truly interested in a subject
  • Detection: Reading facial expressions
  • Detection: Ascertaining who has the real power
  • Discipline: Maintaining a farce
  • Acting: Faking emotions
Non-Skill Knowledge:
  • none requested.
Notes: n/a
Skills Used: Acting, Discipline, Deception, Detection.
Skill Review: Overplayed. (Rosalie has no points in Deception, Discipline, or Acting, consider adding XP to those skills, given her intent to hide her nature/thoughts from others).
Player Word Count: 1683 words.

Excellent twist on a meet-and-greet thread. Aiden and Rosalie are intriguing character additions to the stage that is Etzos, with vibrant personalities touched on between their interaction with one another. Aiden seemed the a-little-too-curious young man while Rosalie kept her veneer of the polite seamstress up while giving the readers hints of just how much of a veneer that was.

The characters' respective narratives provided insight into the secrets both were keeping, and only the reader got to be aware of those overlapping connections. Kudos on the backstory work here to create this connection from the get-go. The pacing of the scenes flowed well and kept a steady clip without dragging too much or rushing ahead too fast. Use of NPCs was balanced, and enjoyable, with flavor but not overriding the interaction between Rosalie and Aiden.

It will be interesting to see where this story goes, as Rosalie works with the troupe. Aiden seems the type to pry more until something gives.

Wonderful job the both of you and enjoy your rewards!

PM me if you have any questions, issues or concerns.

Total Word Count: 4,966 words.
Review Request Link: viewtopic.php?p=135994#p135994

word count: 449
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