There's No Way My Roommate Is A Demigod I Accidentally Summoned From Another World!

[Oberan]

Hi, my name is Hadley. Well, it’s not really Hadley, but I’m not quite comfortable with putting my real name out on the net. Sure, I have social media. Yes, I know we’re being watched 24/7 by bots and foreign intelligence agents. Hell, even by our own intelligence agents! Algorithms follow our every click, creating a log of the sites we often visit, of topics that draw us in. They create a database of our interest to tailor advertisements to our personal tastes. And here I am worrying about revealing my name. It’s stupid, I know.

Anyway, I am a college student living on my own. I was fortunate enough to be born in a country that does not require me to surrender myself to crippling debts in order to pay for tuition. I’m living by myself in a small apartment I rent. I work in the weekends to cover the rent and expenses. I am addicted to fruit juice, chocolate, and smoked meats. I don’t like to cook potatoes with every meal, so I often eat meat and veggies. If I want something to accompany those, I opt for pasta or rice. I don’t like cleaning, but I don’t like living in filth, so I do tidy up whenever I deem it necessary. I know that making a constant effort trumps having to do a load of work at once, so I attempt to keep the place clean. I don’t dislike company, but I don’t mind being by myself. I often feel the loneliest when I am among a large group of people.

I am not a morning person and getting out of bed is difficult. I often stay up too late watching cartoons or the channels I’m subscribed to. In the morning I always regret it. I don’t drink coffee because 1) it’s disgusting and 2) I don’t want to become reliant on it in order to wake up. I don’t like exercising, but I do want to stay in shape, so I put up with it. Incidentally, I do like the burn in my muscles the day after. Sadly, after a while the body gets used to it and you don’t feel it anymore. I often contemplate either doing more exercises or increasing the weights in my dumbbells, however, I don’t want to spend more time on fitness, and nor do I enjoy feeling weak.

Now you might be wondering; “What’s the point of this introduction? We don’t give a crap about you or your life”. You’d be right. I don’t expect you to care. This is just to illustrate what my life used to be like. Ordinary. Normal. Nothing special. Likewise, this blog was meant to be an account of that same boring life. Just a way for me to chronicle my day-to-day. A diary of sorts.

That is, until my roommate showed up.

--Davidtsen, Hadley (2019) ‘My Roommate Is A Demigod?!’, Blogspot.com. https://my-roommate-is-a-demigod-hadley ... ogspot.com

[Oberan]

The 22nd of Vhalar 719

I ignited the last of the incense. It began smoking immediately, spreading that characteristic smell all over my apartment. I had half a mind to immediately douse all those stink-sticks, throw them in the bin, and open all the windows to get rid of the scent. Resisting the temptation was hard, but my desperation won out. I glanced at the instructions given to my by my crazy aunt, and shook my head. This was utter nonsense. No way this would help. Still, I continued, placing one of the incense sticks in each of the cardinal directions, then surrounded each with sage.

Spiritualistic crap, some sort of voodoo hoodoo bullshit that never worked. I don’t even know what group my aunt belonged to. It wasn’t the Wicca, that much I knew. She’d no doubt told me a million times, but I never did pay much attention to it. It really did not matter anyway. Such utter bullcrap wasn’t worth spending brainpower on.

Yet here I was, following the instructions she gave me.

With salt, I drew a large circle in the middle of my living room. I’d had to push a small table aside and roll up the carpet to make room for it, as I didn’t want to have to vacuum for months before all the salt had come out. Also, the circle should not be broken, so no furniture could be in the way. I continued, creating patterns inside the circle, though close to the edge. I made sure to leave enough room for me to sit comfortably.

Between the symbols, I placed chamomile flowers. On my forehead, wrists and stomach, I rubbed a poultice my aunt gave me. I didn’t know what was in it, but it reeked and it felt hot when it’d been applied. I drank an extract of several herbs in three large gulps, gagging afterwards. Too bitter. The taste would remain in my mouth for several hours afterwards.

Lastly, I stepped into the circle and lowered myself onto the floor. I sat cross legged, the backs of my hands resting on my knees. As instructed, I closed my eyes, and started the chant.

In my head, doubts were swirling. This felt like a practical joke. It would never work.

But I was desperate.

I was exhausted. I needed to sleep. A good night’s rest. For too many nights in a row I’d woken up feeling like I’d slept maybe an hour tops. My productivity had gone downhill fast. My health was deteriorating, as was my attendance record. Soon enough I’d break. I really needed this.

So I tried it anyway. I chanted. I hummed. Throaty nonsense words that maybe could have been some old African language. Maybe it was South American or Polynesian. I don’t know. All I was aware of was that it was not commonly spoken anymore. Only in certain tribes, by certain people. Shamans. Bunch of hippies tripping on frog poison. But if it could help me…

Honestly, I lost track of time while I performed the ritual. A trance, my aunt would cry out when I’d tell her, but I’m certain it was merely the exhaustion playing tricks on my mind. Time passed, I blacked out. Memories do not exist for that part of my life. It’s almost as if they were cut out. Like I was asleep.

What I do remember comes after.

Heat, that’s the first thing. All around me I could feel an external source radiate sweltering heat. As if I sat amidst a fire. I kept my eyes closed, and continued the chant. I realized I was rocking slowly back and forth, side to side. I stopped immediately.

It wasn’t the heat that had shaken me back to the present though. Something else had. Something I only became aware of when it finally stopped. A cracking sound, a ripping or tearing. Like the shattering of a thousand porcelain plates, but also the tearing of a tough fabric. It’s difficult to explain. You really need to hear it to understand what I mean, but I hope you can at least imagine something similar.

When it stopped, I noticed peace and quiet had returned. Yet, still I heard a noise that did not belong. A sort of droning or buzzing. Low. Nearly silent. Then, a heavy thud. I felt that one. Something touched down on the floor on either side of me. The impact I felt through the floor.

Finally, I opened my eyes.

There, standing above me, feet on either side of my seated form, stood a man. He wore some kind of scruffy Renaissance faire attire. Leather boots, woolen pants and shirt. A cloak. He stood straight with crossed arms, looking down on me. His face was young, but his eyes seemed much older. The hair on his head was long and unkempt, and on his chin grew a goatee. On the ceiling, directly above him and the circle on the ground, a circular shape full of swirling colors hovered. A hole cut into the fabric of reality.

I know it sounds difficult to believe. I know I sound like I ate a mushroom and went on a trip. But I swear it’s entirely true. The circle I’d drawn was on fire, there was a strange man standing in it, and on the ceiling there was a portal leading to another dimension.

“I am Djas, Shadowborne! One and only son of Audrae, Mistress of Shadows, Secrets, Deceit and Fear. I hold power over Mischief and Thrill and Larceny! I am the patron of bandits, brigands and crooks! Of burglars, rogues and thieves! My very birth was a controversy, my name was scratched from the history books. No cell can hold me, no lock can defy my will. A snap of my fingers can alter reality, bending it to my very whim. I am the Keeper of Keys, the Vessel of the Guardian. Bane of Graeslin, Scourge of the Naerikk. He-who-is-one-with-the-dark. The Unseen. The Great Phantom Thief.” He grinned a most sinister grin. “At your service. Why have you summoned me, Mortal?”


To be continued?

[Doran]

Oberan:

Knowledge: -
Loot: -
Wealth: -
Injuries: -
Renown: -
Magic XP: -
Points: 10

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Comments: This thread was totally awesome and hilarious!

My only complaint is that it was too short! I want a sequel!

I want to know how Hadley’s new roommate adjusts to life in the “real world” and if he ever finds the way back to his own world!

Anyway, enjoy your rewards!