• Mature • Let the darkness keep our secrets

[Elyna]

114 Ashan

Somewhere between the 3rd and 4th Break

Worn from a long day and longer night, Elyna had drifted into the realms of Emea; but not for long. Still unaccustomed to Malcolm's presence whilst she slept the Skyrider stirred easily in his arms. Especially when he pressed soft kisses to her forehead, nose, cheek, neck, shoulder and on until half-awake she slid her hands down his arms.

In the darkest breaks of the night, there was only the sound of the sheets moving against skin and the mingled breath that came in short shallow gasps for air. No words were exchanged but Elyna felt that she said everything she wanted to. If actions meant more to Malcolm than words, hers were simple and untarnished by insufficient syllables. How could mere words express and explain the way she felt about him? How could they do anything, but get in the way?

The air still felt tinged with sadness and it was charged. In many ways the intimate embrace was an apology between them. It was how Elyna felt anyway; but why an apology was needed, she didn’t know. Somehow they’d drifted apart and this was the finest way to bring themselves back together. If her heart had been punctured in his earlier disappointment, it was patched up and the wound part healed.

Eventually collapsed in the dark, sheets lost and with tangled arms and legs, Ely could breathe again and she savored the sensation. Wide awake, but without the energy or desire to move far, the Skyrider curled up in the Captains arms. Finding, not for the first time, safety within them.

“Mal…” A question circled the depths of her mind, refusing to be put aside so she could rest, “what investigation?”
It was an old conversation, and one she wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d forgotten. She had tried to put it away, but it had nagged at her for trials and finally found voice. In the darkness she sat up and studied the outline of his features by the moonlight and starlight that broke through a gap in the curtain. No clouds beyond the window though, meant that the night was cool, all of the days’ warmth fled.

“I…was – were you investigating me? I’m not hiding anything from the Skyriders’ or Knights…” It was the only thing she could think of. That he had been suspicious of her conduct after the incident in the Alleyway. Or perhaps as a Sergeant? Truly though, she hadn’t done anything wrong and the statements had been given at the time. Malcolm knew everything – except Qaerris. She swallowed. Perhaps it was her own guilty conscience that would let the matter lie down and die. Elyna told herself that the night she’d shared with the Harlot was nothing to do with Malcolm, or the Skyriders, it was no one’s business but her own.

Had she done something wrong that he’d needed to investigate? She’d been wracking her brains and come up blank. Maybe she should have let it go, but still, the question rose.

[Malcolm]

He lay his head against her chest, tracing the soft shapes of her form with a coarse hand, basking in the afterglow. It was difficult to remain disappointed or upset with Elyna, the woman had a way of teasing out the best in him, and without words had restored good faith. Even spent he would dote on her, unsatisfied unless he left her skin hot with kisses. Like sand moving underfoot he remained reactive to her cues and turned over so that she could curl against his side and see what felt to be he only heat in the room trapped between the two of them. Perhaps this was why Elyna's lack of presence was so keenly felt as she sat up, causing Malcolm to stir from his dreamy half-doze.
Malcolm trapped the covers under his side as he turned to face Elyna, staring up at her silhouette framed by the moonlight. He had hoped Benjamin's comment was long forgotten by now but it seemed Elyna's curiosity was not so flippant. Malcolm knew that he would have to choose his words carefully, after all looking into the whereabouts of one of her past lovers could be seen as meddling, and he knew how sensitive the subject of Yoreth was. It was equally important to Malcolm to stay honest, if his long life had taught him nothing else, it was that lies were difficult to remember and that the truth never left him feeling burdened or heavy with guilt.
"The investigation," he sat up and combed his hair back casually with his hand, "was regarding Yoreth Blackwood, and more specifically his wife and brother, who I believe are protecting the information of his whereabouts. We have tracked him to Ne'haer, detained his brother for questioning, and attempted to track down his wife who left in a hurry after questioning at her address in mid-town."

The captain plotted an escape route in the darkness. He could see his trousers and boots in the dim light and would be able to dress and leave without much trouble if things became too heated. He couldn't imagine that Elyna would get angry about the investigation, but he did expect that there would be a lot more questions. Perhaps, he thought, it would be best to admit what he knew and try and fill in any gaps she sought. "He is alive, that much we know for certain, he came back for his wife and son, and they took the first boat to Ne'haer. His brother tried to burn an address book and some letters they had sent recently, so it is just a matter of time before the right people being him in."

[Elyna]

Yoreth. It was all about Yoreth. Elyna straightened and inhaled sharply, as though someone had plunged a knife into her back. Her fingertips tingled from a loss of blood and her heart pounded in her ears. Heat rose from her chest and crawled up her neck as she remained motionless. Then Malcolm looked past her and she turned, spying the rough shape of his trousers and following his look to the door. He wanted to leave? She turned back to the Mortalborn, speechless with shock.

“Why?” The question came unprompted and she stood up quickly, pulling a sheet with her to hurriedly tuck under both arms and knot. The shock of cold air made the floor boards feel as though they were tipping up, like the deck of a boat on stormy waters. She stumbled, struggling to keep hold of her thoughts.

“Why would you go looking for him?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Bring him in? They were hunting Yoreth? His wife had been interrogated? Malcolm had told the story like a report, as though it was impersonal, something ordinary. A simple investigation. But it wasn’t; he’d gone pulling up the past and Benjamin was involved? Who else? She turned, snatching up the trousers he’d glanced at, and threw them at him. If he wanted to leave rather than explain himself, then so be it. She wasn’t going to force him to stay. But she straightened too fast and stumbled again, closing her eyes as another wave of dizziness washed over her.

Before her legs could give way beneath her, she sank down, using the wall for support. It felt as though she should be swimming, the world moving in waves. She put her hands over her head, “damn,” she muttered, “damn, damn poison…” she had hoped to be her usual self and in good health, the best health she’d seen in arcs, without bruises and cuts and scrapes. She’d even regained some of the weight she had lost earlier in Ashan. How long would the effects of that damned blade keep wiping her out and draining her strength? She was tired of feeling weak.

[Malcolm]

Malcolm put on his trousers hurriedly and crossed the room, going around the bed to help Elyna to her feet. Even in his arms she felt unstable as if gravity had more sway on her than the rest of the world. A shock of images flashed through the his mind, all of the current scene, his arms around Elyna, mouth ajar with his sudden breathlessness and his chest constricted which caused the Mortalborn to suck in a breath of air sharply. Malcolm knew this ability well, something that dwelled within the tightly woven net of devotion, a gift extended only to those he had formed true and lasting connections with, one he had experienced only a handful of times in the past with important people or immortals in his life.
"Sit down," the captain encouraged, walking Elyna over to the bed, still wrapped in the sheet she had taken. "Calm down," he ordered gently, taking her hand, his own heart drumming the to rhythm the noble woman's had set until he was able to return to his own calm.

He couldn't tell Elyna that the investigation had taken place because she had effectively called him a liar when he shared what he had known about Yoreth's story with her, such would make him seem shallow, though... perhaps he was, after all he had gone to great lengths to track the man's family down and had bent the rules of the law a little to take the man's brother in for questioning without proof, though the trip to the docks had quickly supplied him with that. There was just no point in telling the truth now, but he could give her official reasons and rulings.
"Yoreth Blackwater is a deserter, actively avoiding capture and hiding out in another city. The reason I haven't told you anything is because you brother could be in trouble for lying during this original investigation, he is the one that reported Yoreth's death and may have funded his escape."

Malcolm closed his teeth against the tip of his tongue lightly, sucked in a breath and opened his mouth to speak again, the words delayed as he took pause to gauge the woman's current depth of disapproval and realised that perhaps he was telling her all of this because he didn't want her getting tangled up in it all, more selfishness on his part. "One of the cities tall ships has been sent to intercept your brother's vessel and bring him back to Rynmere for questioning and if the reports I'm hearing are right, he is somewhere in Western Idalos currently, so he probably won't be captured and brought in until late next season if not the following."

There was little Elyna would be able to do. If she intended to help her brother to evade the law, not only would she put her position as a Skyrider in question, but she would be betraying Malcolm's trust, he wasn't supposed to be speaking about the investigation after all. "Elyna it's important that you do not try to contact either of them, you don't want to get yourself tangled up in this mess, believe me."

[Elyna]

“I was sitting down,” she muttered, but was pulled back to her feet, Elyna relied on Malcolm’s support. He too seemed to be struggling with dizziness and she frowned as she sank back down on the mattress. She set her back against the headboard and drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around then. Concentrating on keeping her head very still, she closed her eyes. Any slight movements made the room feel as though it were tipping up and spinning. Shutting her eyes though took away any visual cue to focus on, so she forced them open again, gaze fixed on her bare feet, one set of toes tucked under the other.

Calm down…he made it sound easy. What was easier, was slipping back into the mask she’d worn for the previous arcs. She remained expressionless as she listened and the tale wove around her. He didn’t want her to get tangled up in the mess, but the net was already cast, she could feel it closing in over her skin. A dog barked outside the window and was shoed away by another occupant of the inn. She listened to the scrabbling of claws on cobble stones.

The Skyrider had been hurt by the captain, and that was unavoidable. For the first time in his company, she felt lonely. That the only way to protect herself was to withdraw. She couldn’t be angry at Malcolm for doing his job, it would be pointless. Yoreth could hang himself of this web of treachery that he’d wrought; but Ed…Panic threatened to rise up but she tamped it down, rapidly trying to seal of any emotion in a struggle to retain control. It was like trying to plug holes in a sinking ship, the water just kept coming. In truth, she was furious, but there wasn’t anything she could do with the emotion to express it, so it turned inward. It twisted within her and pulled out all the remnants of pain that she’d started to bury.

Her parents would be furious; their son a traitor and their daughter a whore. It was all her fault; if she hadn’t fallen in love with Yoreth then none of this would have happened. The young woman hadn’t wanted her brother to intervene in the way he had, and surely there had been other options – but he had acted to protect her. But it would all come out now.

She was sure the public would love the scandal. Ed would be forced to explain his actions, and why he’d done it. Had she ruined them both? Her gaze finally lifted to the dark haired man before her, the dizziness had faded and left her feeling nauseas.

“I have no intention of warning Yoreth, and I have no way of telling Ed,” she admitted softly before her gaze dropped, she couldn’t look at him. The Skyrider had tried to warn him that all she would bring was death, but it turned out she could bring destruction as well, “you don’t have to stay Malcolm,” she swallowed. Maybe she was foolish to be so worried about the future and what was to come, it hadn’t happened yet. But still, a sense of foreboding settled over her. She didn’t deserve him, what possible need or attraction could the amazing man before her, have towards someone who was so broken and so doomed for failure? Elyna set her shoulders back and forced herself to straighten up; “I’ll be fine.”

[Malcolm]

Elyna stiffened visibly and Malcolm moved back on the bed, taking her hand to draw her closer to him, saying with this small gesture that he wasn't going anywhere. Soon enough he held her in his arms and kissed the back of her head, speaking in a lowered tone of voice. "Your brother will be fine, he's an officer who is more than likely to cooperate with the investigation. At the worst his name will be soured a little but I think he will keep his position and titles. A single bad deed he did trying to protect someone else won't outweigh all of the good he has done for this city," Malcolm explained and hoped he was right, perhaps if he wrote a letter asking for name suppression on Ed's behalf, detailing that the real criminal here was Yoreth.

It would be dawn soon and Malcolm would have to spend his last day in Andaris for the season on city patrol before getting a good nights sleep so that he would be well rested for the journey to Krom. He would miss Elyna and now that everything about the investigation was out in the open, he would worry about her, already he could feel the distance her silence was putting between them. She was retreating back into herself, into that shell he had spent the better part of the season chipping away at. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, the gentle squeeze of his arms about her form would admit.
"Can I write to you while I'm in Krom?" He asked. "Will you be in the city?"

[Elyna]

Wrapped up in Malcolms embrace, Elyna lay back down beside him. With barely a break between them and the dawn, the room was chilled without a fire and so she pulled the blankets back up to cover their shoulders before she settled. With her back pressed to his chest she stared out into the darkness; hoping that Malcolm was right and that Ed wouldn’t be sent to his doom in the Endor mines, or stripped of everything he’d worked his whole life for. At the end of the day, it was all her fault. She had been stupid and her foolish heart had betrayed the person she loved best in all the world, her brother. If she hadn’t loved Yoreth, he wouldn’t have intervened. If she didn’t love Malcolm, no one would be digging up all of the past secrets.

It was too co-incidental that the Captain had started investigating Yoreth, it had been because of her. She wasn’t an idiot and even if Malcolm wasn’t prepared to admit that was how the investigation had begun, she could understand how it had happened. She wished she’d never asked him what Ben had meant; ignorance was bliss. Had he planned to tell her, though? Or had been waiting until Edmund was bought in for questioning; until Yoreth was back in the city and facing punishment for his crimes? She didn’t owe Blackwood any loyalty, or anything other than her disgust; but she had trapped him. Would he end up a slave? Something she hated so deeply that it hurt. She scowled, Malcolm had been a slave…hadn’t he? How could he justify placing others in that life? It was a punishment she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy. No matter how badly she'd been hurt by them.

The thoughts left a bitter taste on her tongue and she remained mute; pain. It had a way of blocking everything else out once it got hold of you. The only thing it craved, was more sweet torture and she could have it. She could return to old habits, they weren’t so long broken after all. She could return to other lovers and inflict hurt on Malcolm in turn. Elyna forced her eyes closed, no. She wouldn’t do that. The shock of her own thoughts was enough to loosen the hold they had on her and she shook her head in answer to Malcolms question, “you wanted me to go to Burhan,” she explained and knew she could have answered in a hundred different ways and not laced the explanation with so many barbs; “there’s a boat leaving at midday so I’ll be there.”

There was a pause and she edged back against him, softening a little, regretting her answer already. She wanted him to write. She wanted to see him when she returned, “there’s a pigeon loft at the fort,” she added quietly, “most post comes through there….and I’ll be back as close to the tenth as I can make it.”

[Malcolm]

Razor blades and rose petals, that was the Elyna he knew. For the last break he lay awake in silence, holding the noble woman, combing her hair back from her face or just enjoying the warmth their bodies pressed created. He knew that she had not gone back to sleep, how could she after the information he had shared? It was not pain but guilt that ate at him now, how could he be so selfish as to drag her family through the mud like this? He was a man of the law, turning a blind went against everything he stood for. There was a lot Elyna didn't know about him, a lot he would like to forget about himself.
When the first fingers of light touched the far wall, Malcolm got out of bed and dressed slowly, watching Elyna's unmoving form, she was angry at him, he didn't blame her for that but it didn't make it any easier to accept, and he hated to leave on such bad terms. The captain sat down on the end of the bed to put his boots on and felt Elyna stir, and with his back to her he spoke. "The truth is a gift, a bit like a secret, one being handing a dagger to the other. It's important not to stab the messenger, my lady." Was this his way of getting it off his chest, that he had hated her calling him a liar, that things like that made her difficult to confide in?

Malcolm got to his feet and felt the small wooden sword Elyna had won for him at the fair, hidden in the left pocket of his trousers. He moved alongside the bed and leaned down to kiss her cheek, hovering there for a time. "I'm going to miss you," the man admitted. "I'll write you, maybe we can sail home together." Maybe... If she ever wanted to see him again.

[Elyna]

Despite everything, or maybe because of it Elyna had drifted in the final parts of the break. Stirring when she heard the unfamiliar sound of Malcolm moving around the room and she turned to watch him, pulling the blankets up to keep any residual warmth trapped. Surely it was too early to rise? Her eyes felt heavy from the lack of sleep and as much as their desire had been temporarily sated, she still longed for his return. It would be too long until she could see him again.

He returned his own barbed comments and she turned away from him. If the truth was a dagger, then it had the ability to poison all that it touched. She was quickly growing cautious of such gifts of truth. He’d told her Yoreth was alive, and she hadn’t been able to accept that. Not at first. It had taken time for the tangled knot of her own shame and guilt had loosened enough to let go of the grief of his death, for her to realise that she’d carried that burden far longer than the man she’d loved deserved. The truth hurt, far more than the lie ever had. Even now, it was hard to think that Yoreth had been bought off by her brother, or agreed to the deception…that he’d been able to walk away from her so easily…to know that he’d returned to the city as well. It was almost enough to make her heart stop. It would have been better if he was dead, but no. The betrayal went on and on and on.

Malcolm had been the messenger of brutal truth and fate was cruel to weave him into the tangled web. Why should he be involved at all? Because it was how the world worked. Messy lives mixed up with one another.

Elyna reached out, warm with sleep and touched her fingertips to his hand. It was the first time he’d admitted any sense of attachment, that he would miss her in kind. She held back her sharp tongue, propping her head up in her hand.

“I would like to sail back with you,” she agreed quietly and forced herself to meet his gaze, “but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Half sat up already the Skyrider straightened, trying to fix his face in her mind. Remembering the weak light on the planes of his face the lines of worry and care etched around his eyes. She reached out, moving her hand lightly over the collar of his shirt, the sleeves still rolled up from the day before, and she smiled to herself.

Hesitant she lifted her gaze once more before leaning in, her nose brushed against his cheek and she inhaled that intoxicating scent of him. Yes, there was sweat, and her own scent mingled with the soap and the faint spice, sweetness from the toffees and fruit, grass and fresh air all mixed into something that was undeniably Malcolm. Elyna pressed a solitary kiss to his lips and withdrew, “safe travels Captain.” She wasn’t trying to delay him, he had to go and she lent back against the headboard, knees drawn up once more. She’d learnt from her mistake, Yoreth had been told to go and never come back; and he hadn’t. If the Seven had any inclination to listen, or the Immortals wanted to meddle in her life, then they would hear only blessings following his departure. Never curses. Not again.

[Malcolm]

Nothing about their relationship had been a good idea, their secret romance, affectionate displays in public, his getting too close, the meals, the drinks, the trip to the fair, and long sleepless nights in rented rooms. Malcolm closed his right hand around the woman's left ankle gently and slowly traced the length of her leg below the covers as he kissed her mouth slowly, speaking between long, lusty embraces. "Then we won't sail home," he smiled. "Leave with me, end your watch with the Skyriders, I'll resign as captain and we can go anywhere."
It was a lovely dream... but was that all they would ever be? Malcolm sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand set on Elyna's knee now. "I don't want to lose you, Ely. I don't want to imagine that emptiness us going our separate ways would create. But I'm worried," he admitted, "that this is the best we will ever be able to give each other and sooner or later that won't be enough," enough for you, he thought, enough for her family, responsibilities, and the rest.

"The moment I walk out that door, I'll only want to turn around and stroll back in again. By the seven... You have me woman, if you want this to end... you better tell me now, because if you leave it and wait, it's going to be ten times harder to say goodbye down the road."
Against his better judgement, he managed to look her in the eye and wondered what she saw in his, worry perhaps, concern, doubt, relief? It was a big thing to get off his chest after all. Malcolm rolled his lower lip between his teeth to wet the suddenly dry skin before running his tongue across the top one quickly. "You don't have to answer that now," he then suggested, but maybe they should both give it some consideration.