The Guilt of a Widower

Seated on the shores of Lake Lovalus, Rharne serves as the home of the Lighting Knights, the Thunder Priestesses, and the Merchant's guild. This beautiful trade city is filled with a happy and contented people who rarely need an excuse to party.

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The Guilt of a Widower

Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:52 am

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Cylus 12th, arc 719
Xander arrived back at the doors to the Order, once again he was wrapped in his cloak although this time he was not carrying his children and was in fact wearing a set of clean clothes underneath. While he could live without the luxury he was afforded back in Rynmere he could not deny that he had missed the feeling of fresh clothes. He had just changed into them and paid for the room, that he had not been using, at the Inn. The novle wanted to make sure it was still there when they left the Order and Ala'ni was better.

Luckily he had felt comfortable enough to leave his daughters in the safety of the clinic while he changed. Gennadiya had been kind enough to let them stay and he felt he should return that kindness someway. Xander was not the kind of person to take something for nothing, whether he did not wish to feel in debt or if it was how he had been raised he felt almost obliged to do something.

Procrastinating for long enough the Shieldbearer went inside what had been his home for the past few trials. Ala'ni was already doing better and they would soon be leaving back to the Inn but before that happened Xander wanted to spend some time with the young medic. Following the route he had that first day they had arrived at the Order Xander found the bed where Ala'ni was sat playing with her dark hair. "Goodmorning little one." The father spoke happily, taking the advice he had been offered and being the best father he could. "I hope you didn't miss we when you woke up, I had to go and change clothes."

Removing his cloak Xander placed it over the back of the chair and perched on the edge of the bed. Wrapping an arm around his daughter and kissing the top of her head. The girl wriggeld free quite quickly and shrugged. "Its okay Father." She continued to play with her hair as he watched, a half smile on his lips. He already missed the happy and excitable girl Ala'ni had become from the love of him and Celeste, part of him wondered if he could ever get her to be as happy and open as she had been. He knew that is was mostly due to Celeste, she had been fantastic at helping the girl.

Leaving Ala'ni to it the nobleman stepped over to the cot where his babies lay sleeping, it was unusual that they would both be silent. Normally they would take it in turns to scream and cry, it was part of the reason he had been so sleep deprived. Maybe it was the female company from the medics and nurses, it seemed like a good explenation even if he couldn't understand why.

Moving back over towards the door to the room Xander noticed Gennadiya over by another bed, talking with a patient. The Shieldbearer watched her, a strange feeling was in him as he noticed he was not only watching but admiring. The sudden realisation caused him to look away and remove his sword belt, fiddling with the buckle and wrapping the leather around the sheath before leaving it against the chair.

He scratched the brigde of his nose and cleared his throat awkwardly, his mind was muddled as he shook his head clear and pushed his hair back off his face. Softly clearing his throat he regained his composure and moved back to the babies, saving his eyes for them for a time.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:39 pm

Gennadiya had between herself and her fellow sister of the Order had watched over the family for a couple Trials. The little girl Alan’ni did have only a cold, which by itself wasn’t a worry, but between the weather and the draftiness of Inns, the Lyosian woman and her colleges had agreed it would be best for her to ride it out her in the Inn. Privately they had also agreed that Xander had needed rest and help caring for the babies. Gennadiya had happily helped care for the Alan’ni and the babies. It wasn’t often that she got the chance to help with babies who were sick. She wouldn’t have mentioned it but she began to questions if she had made the right choice up to this point to focus on her job and not spare a moment for romance. It wasn’t that she would have turned it down, but with how much she worked it would have had to literally drop into her lap.

Right now she wasn’t thinking about any of that. She was looking down at Vedra. The middle age woman was in here every couple of trials with some new symptom. Today there was an actual issue but it was fairly minor. The young woman remained calm and nodded as the older woman rambled on about her health problems. Gennadiya was holding the woman’s figure with one hand and with the other was carefully extracting a sliver. It wasn’t critical but the young woman was sure that I hurt. She took her time and with a pair of tweezers grasped the edge of the wood and very carefully pulled it out. Luckily it had worked itself deeper and so came out quickly.

It was at that point her focus was able to expand beyond the sliver and she sensed Xander standing in the room looking at her. She couldn’t have said what his expression he had, but she was surprised she could sense it was him. She normally could sense when others were around and when they were looking at her but not necessarily who it was.

“Vedra. Now I need you to go home and keep cold water on it for the rest of the Trial to keep the swelling down.” Gennadiya said with a smile even as she delivered the silly directions. Vedra looked pleased and nodded her head and left the room. Gennadiya shook her head. She was completely aware that the sliver wouldn’t swell that much more than it already had, but also she understood the woman, and she needed to feel like the injury was worse then it was. So she gave her some harmless activity to do for the rest of the trial. It was that or have her following after her complaining about how big her finger was getting.

The blond woman turned and saw Xander over with his two baby girls. She looked on in approval and admiration. He was handsome, she wouldn’t deny that, he was also kind and loving. She could see him trying to be there for his girls. The babies were beginning to do better, and as Xander played with them more they would come to accept him and even look forward to being held by him. It was one of the keys with babies. They liked being held, and Adiya had taken ever chance she could to hold the babies, as had other healers.

Gennadiya walked over since there wasn’t anyone with pressing needs. She paused and wondered if she should make a suggestion, and finally spoke. “Some people believe that the best way a father can simulate a baby’s mother is to hold the diapered baby directly against the skin of his chest. While the father can’t ever feed a baby in the same way it does replicate a resemblance of the same action.” Gennadiya felt a slight blush come to her cheeks and wondered where that had come from. She didn’t let that drive her away, and instead sat on the bed and looked at Alan’ni. “Would you like me to do your hair?” She asked and waited for an answer.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Sat Apr 27, 2019 4:05 pm

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Xander looked up from Katherine and Zara as Gennadiya approached offering a smile and a nod as she began to speak. Her suggestion was unexpected to the noble, it seemed somewhat personal of an action to discuss. Still she was a medic, subjects like that were probably more openly discussed within medical circles. "Thats an interesting idea, I'd never considered it myself." The wolf offered his finger to Zara who took a tight grasp on it with her small hands. They weren't as small as they had been though, they seemed to get bigger with every passing trial.

Ala'ni looked up blinking rapidly in surprise as Gennadiya offered to do her hair. Looking to Xander he smiled at the girl, stepping over to the bed himself and brushing the girls hair behind her ears. "Answer her little one." His voice was soft and encouraging, tones he had seldom heard during his own childhood. The girl shook her had and retreated to the opposite side of the bed hanging her legs over and swinging them as she went back to twisting the loose strands of hair in her fingers.

"Take no offence Miss, she is just shy, in fact she was like this with me even once." Scratching his chin and the layer of stubble that had grown he sighed and looked to the woman next to him. "When do you finish working to-trial?" The nobles inquiry was entirely innocent and yet he felt some what shameful for asking. "If you are not busy I would like to speak with you, perhaps see the city a little." He could imagine what the courtiers would say, the horror of him asking a woman to meet him so soon after the death of his wife.

In truth no such ideas had fueled his question but rather a desire not to be alone for a while. Xander didn't know what he should feel anymore, he didn't even know what was allowed to be felt. Was he never supposed to be attracted to a woman, was he supposed to wear black and be alone for the rest of his life. While Xander did not believe that to be the case something that did worry him was the idea that maybe he was just trying to fill a void, to block the pain with something new and exciting.

Already the guilt clawed at him before he had even recieved an answer. "Of course I take no offence if you are too busy, you do a hard job after all." Biting his tongue he tried not to show his discomfort with his own words, it was hard for him to completely decide what was the right thing to do in regards to his feelings.

He'd had one love in his whole life and she was gone, they had not met organically and their love had been a surprise this was different and while the wolf would not say this was love something was beginning to bloom. A friendship perhaps or maybe something more, whatever it was Xander could already feel a strange uncertainty deep within him.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Tue May 07, 2019 6:13 pm

Gennadiya smiles at the little girl as she turned down her offer to do her hair. The young woman was offended at all while she had ever been quiet and shy like this after her own mother’s death, but her sister had been very shy and reserved after said event. Some people it took time to draw close to and be accepted, and Gennadiya wasn’t offended that the two of them weren’t bosom buddies yet. Xander appeared concerned about the rejection so Gennadiya gave him a good humored smile. The blond woman looked back at the girl and said, “if you change your mind the offer is still open.”

Before the young healer could do anything else Xander had asked her if she would visit with him and possible see the city after her shift. She felt a brief moment of surprise at the request. It wasn’t an unwelcome request it was just an unexpected one. Her blue looked into his face. He appeared confused as if not sure of something. Gennadiya felt sympathy for the young father and wondered what it was that he was going through. She understood that he and his wife had been close and couldn’t really imaging the loneliness what it would be like to have someone and then to be alone. She had her family who loved her but hadn’t ever found a special someone to share her life with so was used to being alone.

A moment later he was trying to back track. Gennadiya smiled at his, a warm genuine smile. “I would enjoy that and I have nothing planned for the evening.” She said standing up. “My shift ends in two breaks. I can meet you by the entrance if you would like.” She waited a moment for his reply before gracefully excusing herself. She was happy with the invite, and smiling as she left, but suspected if she stayed there would be awkwardness. Besides she did have other things to attend to before her shift ended.

*******

Gennadiya had stopped in her rooms briefly to change. She normally just wore the same outfit for the trial, but had been raised well enough to know when you were meeting with someone you took some efforts. So she changed into white blouse with a blue skirt. The blouse set off the pink in her skin and helped bring out some of the color in her hair. She also undid the braid that her hair had been all trial and allowed her hair to cascade down her back in waves.

Grabbing her cloak she walked down the halls towards the front doors.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:42 am

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Xander was unable to retract his offer before she accepted and in truth that relieved him, he could do with the company of another adult for a while. Although there was a definite feeling of guilt that crept slowly throughout his body. "I look forward to it." He smiled awkwardly and was made more comfortable by her not lingering and instead leaving him to argue with himself internally.

Sitting down as she left Xander let out a soft sigh as Ala'ni took a seat on his lap and cuddled him with a sigh of her own. "It is okay Father." The nobleman looked down at her with curiosity in his eyes. It seemed the smart young girl recognised this and ellaborated on her words. "I will always love you and I'm not going anywhere." These were the most words she had spoken in trials and they were all the Shieldbearer needed to bring the tears down his face. Holding her closer and kissing her hair the noble closed his eyes and took in the moment, forgetting everything just for a moment. "I love you too." His voice was soft and warm as he looked from his child to the ceiling.



Wearing a clean pastle blue shirt and a pair of dark grey breeches under his long fur cloak Xander approached the doors of the Order. Feeling something akin fear he had not experienced in some time he stopped where he was in the road and looked from a distance for a moment. Gennadiya had not yet emerged from the doors and as he once again started to walk eventually stopping before the entrance to wait he had a moment of recollection. A memory flashing through his minds eye of when he had awaitewd the arrival of Celeste at his home in Krome.

Shaking the thought aside and trying to focus on the present Xander took a deep breathe and pushed the door open. It creaked on its hinge as he entered from the cold twilight and saw her, his first feeling was one of awe. While she had not wornm anything extravegent or plastered herself with make up the simplisity of her style but the natural beauty that it showed reminded him of Celeste. His hand trembled for a moment as she approached and he took in a sharp breath smiling as she arrived.

"Gennadiya, you look...well." He changed the direction of his sentence mid stream, unsure of the nature of the meeting he had arranged. "I am not too knowledgeable of the city so I hope you might know somewhere nice to go and if not I am happy to just wander." Xander awaited her response with a sense of urgency, part of him wanted to get out of the building containing his children.

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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:13 pm

Gennadiya was finishing clasping her cloak agains the cold as Xander walked into the front lobby. Her saphire blue gaze took in the man standing in before her. He had changed as well and had cleaned up a bit. She began to see a bit of the man behind the sorrow. Xander was handsome and there was a look in his eyes of having traveled the spectrum of life experinces. The young woman smiled broadly at him as she finished clasping her cloak into place.

Gennadiya was used to being started at but there was something different in the look Xander gave her. He was impressed with her beauty, but there was something deeper in that look, and Gennadiya felt touched in a way few others hand affected her. She could see the pain in his eyes, and even as she smiled warmly at him she felt a twing in her chest wondering what kind of pain he was going through. Her eyes meet his with warmth and understanding.

She walked up and offered her arm as he asked what she would like to do. Gennadiya paused only for a moment before speaking. “There is a social gathering this evening in one of the Earth quarter neighborhoods.” Gennadiya blushed a bit as they walked out of the building. “Its by no means fancy, just a way for people to get together, enjoy music, food and dance. It a nice way to spend one of Cylus twilight evenings.” Gennadiya was quiet again as the began to move down the street.

She didn’t know exactly what rank Xander held, but the clues had clearly pointed to a noble and she know began to wonder if he would be okay with going to something so common. For the first time in a long time Gennadiya questioned the decision that had just come out of her mouth. He had asked her what she had wanted to do, and in that moment she had known spending time with Xander in a place with warmth, laughter and food was what she wanted to do. It had come rather strong so she hadn’t even though about it. Her blue eyes looked up at him questioningly as they walked side by side.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:01 am

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Taking Gennadiya's arm Xander departed walking alongside her as she presented a potential activity for the evening. In truth it sounded nice, he always hated the noble parties back home so a more common event seemed appealing to him. The noble looked down at her next to him and smiled with a nod.

"That sounds wonderful." His smile was genuine as he kept his focus on the evening ignoring the tumultuous feelings deep inside. "It has been a while since I attended anyu form of celebration or party." He thought back to before the birth of the twins and the Venora charity Gala they had attended, that had been an...eventful evening. "So tell me Gennadiya," he paused to think for a moment, "you said you grew up near Ne’Hear, what is it like over there?" He continued to walk beside her keeping her arm in his as they approached a crossroads.

Stopping at the intersection Xander looked at Gennadiya to lead the way. Gesturing with his spare hand the noble waited for his companion to pull him in one direction or the other, after all his knowledge of the city streets was very limited. "How long have you lived here in Rharne?" Following her response to his previous question he would continue his questions wanting to get better acquainted with her. That was predominantly the point of them being out together he supposed.

Following the medic in whichever way she lead him Xander rested his spare hand on the hilt of his sword. The shieldbearer struggled to part with the weapon even when he was out on such outings, after seeing how easily people could strike at him unexpectedly in the past he was not much in favour of taking risks.

The sound of music and voices began to echo in the street and Xander could already smell the food cooking. "I suppose me must be getting close?" He asked as he looked over at Gennadiya again, licking his lip unconsciously responding to the intoxicating smell of whatever it was they were cooking.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:09 pm

Adiya took the offered arm and stood close by as they walked down the street. It wasn’t closer then appropriate but at least on her side it also wasn’t formal. It had been a long while since the young healer had walked anywhere on a man’s arm and in all honesty since she had left her school trials that had only been her father’s arm. This was very different. Gennadiya was aware of the Xander’s arm and could heel the gentle play of muscle movement against her arm. Beyond that she could sense just his general presence. Luckily it was dark so it was hard to see the soft blush in her checks.

Gennadiya wasn’t one hundred percent sure on the location but she was sure on the neighborhood and they were early enough that others would be arriving. So she moved forward with confidence. Xander then asked about where she was from and Gennadiya paused for only a moment before answering.

“I am from Lysoria, which is a small city north of Ne’haer. Unlike other places, Ne’haer and its surrounding cities aren’t united. So there is some rivalry especially between Ne’haer and Lysoria.” She gave a shrug. ”Honestly the squabbling between the cities affected my life very little. My father is a jeweler and did well enough to supply us with comforts and even a few luxuries including girls school.” She gave a little laughter. “Lysoria is a fortress town so the buildings are bleak but we had a little green space behind our house where we would spend hours doing anything. My mom had a little canopy and chairs set up so she could be outside while she did any task that could be done outside.” Gennadiya said and for a moment there was a catch in her voice as she at the mention of her mother. The platinum haired woman was surprised. It had been arcs since she thought hard enough about her mother to let the sadness of missed arcs to slip out. “My sister and I also spent much of the warmer seasons in that garden.” In her mind Adiya remembered her sister’s laugh coming from the branches of a tree she was hiding in. “That poor garden, after my sister died only the gardener when there. I moved to Ne’hear when I joined the order.”

She was saved at that moment by a cross roads. The beautiful woman didn’t even hesitate she pointed in the direction leading to the neighborhood. Xander then asked her about how long she had been in Rharne. “I came to Rharne last season. I had heard that the order here was be led by Faith and that she was an innovator. I felt myself and the branch in Ne’haer had become stagnant so came for a scenery change. I certainly found change here.” Gennadiya pauses. “Faith was appointed the new head of the order, and has already begun trying to bring rejuvenate it.”

She paused at another intersection and then led the way. “So tell me about where you are from.” She said curiosity in her voice. She noticed him resting his hand on his sword hilt as they walk and gave a small smile. Yes this man was a warrior, but she couldn’t blame his caution. What he was unaware of was that fan she had secured to her waist was also a deadly weapon. She wasn’t stupid enough to wander the streets with out some defense.

They both smelled the wafer of fresh food and could hear the sound of music drifting from down the street. Gennadiya could also others down the street approaching a stable yard. Gennadiya was pleased that they had found with little difficulty. She didn’t pick up her pace but walked gracefully next to her date. The dance was being held stables that had been cleaned out for the event. As the two walked in they could see portable fires had been placed around the edges to supply warmth to the courtyard, which had been decorated with simple colors that gave it a festive air. There was a large crowd already gathered for the dance. Adiya and Xander found that they were appropriately dressed for the event, the locals were wearing their best but they were also honest and sturdy cloths.

Beyond the courtyard was the dance hall itself which well lite. The band was positioned along the right side, and at this point was only half there as the dancing hadn’t started yet. There were table set up around the edges to allow people to sit, but dinner was still being cooked and would be served halfway through the dance.

As the two entered Gennadiya found herself being hugged by Helena, a matronly woman whose sons were regular visitors at the clinic, or on Gennadiya’s house call rounds. “Gennadiya I am so glad you came.” She said grinning as she let go of the surprised healer. Then she looked at Xander and then at Gennadiya. Gennadiya didn’t blush but made the introduction.

“This is Xander.” She said letting him introduce himself more if he wanted. “Xander this is Helena.” The matronly woman nodded at the tall noble man. “Thank you for joining us tonight.”
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:35 pm

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Xander listened closely as Gennadiya told him about her life across in Western Idalos, it sounded like a mixture of happy and sad times not too far from his own history. Though the woman did a realitvely good job of keeping her composure when mentioning the death of her sister. "I am sorry to hear about your sister, I know that pain too well." He smiled at her calmly remembering the passing of his sister, the name sake of his daughter Zara.

"It sounds like you've lead quite an adventurous life, its not small thing to move across the world just for a change of pace." The noble gave a genuine chuckle and nodded thinking about Rynmere after hearing her own question towards him. Clearing his throat a little the nobleman started on his own origins. "I was born Lord Xander Calen Krome in the The North East of Rynmere in the Duchy of Krome, I grew up there with my parents and my three siblings. Although it was only two siblings for most of my life." Pausing for a moment and releasing the hilt of his sword and instead placing his hand over Gennadiya's that was on his arm he continued. "I lived there for most of my life, working as a Steward and political pawn until I met and married, moving South and taking my bride's name Andaris."

Thinking of Celeste again brought on a rush of feelings and the young wolf released his hand from hers, the painful guilt rising within him again as he returned it to the hilt of his blade with a sigh. "There I became a Baron and lived in the city of Drakengard, a beautiful place really, not that I truly noticed that until I was forced to leave." Shaking his head the noble stopped himself. "Alas, that is where the story gets sad and lets not sully the evening with that shall we?" Smiling to stave of the feelings of anguish deep within Xander was relieved by the arrival at their destination.

Looking around Xander was quite charmed by the event, the creative use of a stable was new to him and made a nice change from the crowded ballrooms back home. The lighting was not too bright and instead cast long flickering shadows that danced in the Cylus twilight. The smell of cooking food was thick in the air and the ever hungry Xander was more than ready to get a tase of whatever it was. It had taken Xander until now to fully realise that he may indeed need to dance though, a skill most nobles were more adept in than he was.

Being slightly distracted with examining the venue Xander was somewhat taken aback as Gennadiya was stolen into the embrace of their host. Xander looked on with a smile as he was introduced to the woman. "No, please. Thank you, it looks wonderful here and I assure you the pleasure is all mine." Bowing slightly the nobleman treated her as his equal, something he had learned gained you far more favour than being an arrogant prat.

Looking around again the nobleman gestured towards a pair of seats at the side of the makeshift dancefloor. "Should we find ourselves a place to sit or would you rather stand?" Xander didn't mind either way but years of learning the ways of court had burned the importance of ettiquette into his mind and those habits were hard to grow out of.
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Re: The Guilt of a Widower

Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:21 pm

Gennadiya listened as Xander spoke briefly about losing his sister and she could tell that there was a deep emotion over that death. Her sapphire blue eyes looked up into his eyes as he told his life story. While she listened she squeezed his arm and listened.

Xander then placed his hand on hers as they walked. Gennadiya felt a tingle race up her arm that she hadn’t ever felt before. She kept her face expression focused but was surprised by the pleasure she felt at his touch. She mentally shock herself. He was still morning his wife. As if the emphasis that he removed his hand when he mentioned his marriage.

Gennadiya squeezed his arm again at his commented about avoiding negative conversations. “That is a excellent suggestion.” She said with a chuckle. Gennadiya wasn’t surprised to discover her date was a nobleman, his behavior certainly reflected that of a well taught man. He held himself with a grace matched her own.

The platinum haired healer was pleased with Xander’s reception of the event. Gennadiya hadn’t ever been to Rynmere and seen that glamour of those great courts. She had only ever seen the slick and attempted sophistication of the Lysoria court. There was something more real with this set up then the few times she had been invited to balls when she was younger. She could see that Xander also appreciated the set up and he showed it as greeted Helena with a bow.

Adiya found herself grinning as they walked farther into the gathering and Xander asked if she would rather stand or take a seat. “Let’s take a seat for now” she said and moved towards the chairs the knight had indicated. As they took a seat they could see the others who had come. By enlarge the bulk of the population was young adults, but there was enough parents floating around to keep an eye on the hormone driven younger population. Adiya noticed that unlike the more formal parties where a staff was employed to cook and cater there were a number of young ladies in their finest rushing around and setting up trays of baked goods on the food tables for people to snack on before dinner was served.

Adiya leaned towards Xander. “I think we are in for a treat. I always found home baked goods to be tastier then professional goods.” She said still grinning. “I have a fondness for cookies. Sadly thought I never was able to master baking them. Half of them always come out burned.” She said with a good nature chuckle. “I was always better at cooking.”

As they talked, more and more of the musicians began to show up and take there seats. The crowd also began to grow quieter and depart from there preparations to come into the stable.

“I am unfamiliar with what type of dancing they do here in Rharne. Do you know?” she asked. It had been a long time since she had done something like this and felt a bit rusty, but she wasn’t about to sit there in awkward silence.
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