Written on the 3rd of Cylus, 72 in Kirei's home in the Sweetwine Woods. Sent from Scalvoris Town on the 4th of Cylus, 721. Received in Egilrun on the 5th of Cylus, 721. The outside of the letter is addressed to Hart using the return address that was on the letter Kirei received.
3rd Cylus, 721
Hart,
To be completely honest...I don't quite know how I feel about this. Let me start by saying thank you for your apology. In some ways, your apology does help. It doesn't make the fact that you were gone for so long okay. Nothing can ever do that. But that wasn't entirely your fault, and I understand that.
For myself, I'm okay. I adapted. Aiden has always been here to help me with the children. And when Kir'sani came into our lives, she helped too. Even the older children, Kirion, Maerin, and Eris stepped up and did what they could to help. We've been okay. So for myself, I forgive you.
For Ru...I just don't know. She's an amazing little girl, Hart. But Ru doesn't know you. She sees Aiden as her father because he has been here when you have not. And he sees her as his daughter as well. I won't take that away from him. there have been so many firsts that you haven't been here for. Ru is talking now. Walking too. Even running. It can be hard to keep up with her at times because she is very determined in her efforts to explore the world around her. You have missed all of that and more...and there is no way for you to get it back.
So I don't know if I can forgive you on Ru's behalf. Whether I can or not, you are her father. One of her fathers, anyway. You deserve the chance to get to know your daughter and to have a place in her life. More importantly, Ru deserves a chance to know you, and to have her birth father in her life.
Of course you can come to visit Ru. I would never try to keep you away from our daughter, Hart. But I want you to think long and hard about this. If you do decide to come back...I need to know that you are willing and able to commit to being a part of Ru's life. And mine if you want that too. I'm still not sure how I feel about that part, but I'm willing to try. I...I missed you when you were gone, Hart. But even though I am willing to try again, it is going to take me some time to believe that you want to try to. If you decide that you do.
I'm no saying that you have to live here with us, or be here every single trial. I will never ask that of you. But if Ru gets to know you and learns to trust you and accept you as part of her family...she's going to expect you to be there. She is going to want you around, and she will look for you when you are not. So if you are going to be a part of our lives, I need you to be there. That means regular visits at least once a season. More if you can manage it. It also means letters. Letters to Ru so I can read them to our daughter. And letters to me so I at least know that you're alive and well. Can you commit to that, Hart? If so, then I will welcome your presence in our daughter's life. But don't hurt her. If she gets attached to you, you can't just disappear on her again. I want you to promise me that.
It would probably be a good idea to start out with letters. Aiden and the rest of my family are going to need some time to get used to the idea of you being in our lives again. And it would probably be best if you ask first before visiting. Especially the first few times you come. If you do.
Sincerely,
Kirei
P.S. You will have to earn my family's trust before we will allow you to be alone with Ru, and that will not be easy.
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