Drawing Blood

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Bolt
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:33 pm
Race: Human
Renown: 0
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Drawing Blood

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Last edited by Bolt on Tue Oct 02, 2018 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 0
Formerly Hikaru
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Mads
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Posts: 382
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:37 pm
Race: Human
Profession: hex hawker
Renown: 65
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Wealth Tier: Tier 5

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Re: Drawing Blood

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Bolt
Knowledge.........
Endurance: Dealing with blood loss
Endurance: Getting pricked by needles
Discipline: Staying still while blood is drawn
Discipline: Fighting to remain in control
Discipline: Following through with your commitment
Defiance: The spark is scared of dying
Loot....................
None
Consequence......
Major Overstepping as follows...
Paralysis - after tonight, Bolt will find he can no longer move his pinkies on both his hands and feet. With physical therapy, over the course of about a cycle (200 days starting from this point), he will be able to gradually regain both feeling and control of his fingers, but his toes will remain permanently paralyzed.

Abandoning - after tonight, treated like an empty-minded tool of no import beyond the progression of Bolt's own skill, fire no longer speaks to him nor heed his words at all; when Bolt is able to convince fire that he both truly believes it to have value beyond a tool and will not abuse it so callously ever again, it will slowly start to speak with him but will never be as responsive as any of the other elements. Moderation Note: to reacquire fire as an accessible element, you will need permission from your city moderator

[Overstepping Mutation] Compromised Equilibrium - after tonight, whenever Bolt is near water, if the water perceives that he is in danger (anything so small as a child accidentally bumping into him all the way to a man trying to carve his heart out with a knife) the water will attempt to intervene to defend him. Bolt will have no control over the water's defence, however, once the water believes him to no longer be in danger (or if he runs out of ether for the water to sustain itself), it will naturally return to where it came from if possible. Additionally, fire will no longer follow direct commands and will act according to its own "will", making it extremely unpredictable (for example: if Bolt were to Dance with fire in an attempt to send it hurtling toward a foe as a giant fireball, it may choose to lazily crawl its way over, or if he wishes to simply light a candle with his magic, fire may decide it would rather catch the entire building ablaze). Water, however, will always overcompensate (for example, if Bolt wishes to playfully splash someone with a little wave of water, water may instead turn itself into a giant hammer and smash into the target at full, crushing force). Any exaggerated (or mitigated) effects will cost an increased (or decreased) amount of ether, as if Bolt had intentionally cast the spell himself. Due to fire refusing to listen to him, it can no longer be taken as a Kin Element. A matching or higher competency level (skill point level at master) in meditation will help to tame water's passive over-protectiveness, resulting in a more proportional response to danger (for example, if Bolt has competent meditation and competent defiance, when a dog starts barking at him, water may do something simple like splashing the dog out of a puddle rather than draining a large amount of ether to encase him in a defensive sphere of water). A matching or higher competency level (skill point level at master) in discipline will help to stabilize fire's unpredictability and water's over-compensation when actively casting spells.

Dizziness and nausea for about an hour before the food and juice really kick in and help him start feeling better.
Renown..............
None
Experience...........
+10 to Defiance
Interesting thread.

You had a lot of grammar mistakes (mostly dropped articles like "the" "a" and "an") which made reading through the solo a little difficult and, at times, confusing. Everything felt pretty rushed, and I was a little unclear as to why Yuna wanted to draw his blood at night and outside, or why she needed a litre of it. If she was just practising drawing blood, usually it's a matter of getting the needle into the vein, which is the tricky part, not so much the actual drawing of the blood itself. While Defiance competency does state that 30 yards is the maximum distance a novice defier can manage. Pushing the farthest extent of a mages limit once is taxing. Doing so ten consecutive times is very much severely overstepping. Magic in Standing Trials, especially at lower levels, is relatively weak and takes time to progress through (lore-wise). Pushing the limits of a novice mage does require some repetition, but mostly it's about exploration; finding limits, understanding the nature of one's spark and domain, and troubleshooting efficiency are all good ways to work on improving one's magical skill. It's not so much a math equation as it is it a writing prompt or challenge. Also, sparks don't typically attack their mages, especially when they're relatively weak at novice. I wasn't sure where that was coming from exactly, but typically sparks are more interested in assimilation of the mage over time by changing them to suit its needs.

You did do a fairly good job with presenting the discomfort; try to maybe work a little more on your proportions when it comes to something relatable like pain. It seemed like he was being slowly murdered, not as much having his blood drawn. I don't like needles either, so I can understand his reluctance to sit there calmly and let her jab at him, and it's definitely not a fun or comfortable experience.

I consulted with several moderators to make sure these consequences were appropriate. If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
Please edit your grade request.

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