We Were Wild

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
Malcolm
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Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 179
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We Were Wild

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"Can you?" Malcolm sat up slowly, recognising how uncomfortable Elyna seemed all the the sudden. "Avari disappeared soon after freeing the captives," the captain explained, hoping in doing so that Elyna might relax again. "You... seem troubled by something, my lady?" Malcolm changed his mind, it bothered him that the woman was so ill at ease in his presence. "Have I done or said something to offend?" He looked at her, or at least tried to look her in the eye and his hand reached out to touch hers, only brushing the top of her fingers briefly before realising how inappropriate the gesture might look if one of his comrades were to turn about and see it.

Malcolm looked down at his feet and leaned forward to cross his arms upon his knees. He undid his cloak and let it fall away as if hot all of the sudden, nervous or maybe even embarrassed, the feeling was difficult to describe let alone acknowledge. He often felt a mix of emotions in the woman's company, but doubted any of them fit to be deemed as inappropriate, of course, that was not to say he didn't find her attractive, for Elyna was a very beautiful young woman, but he had worked with beautiful women before. No, this was something else, or a mix of the two, he felt responsible for her, drawn to a guarded sense of self he found it almost effortless to related to, and concerned that Elyna felt alone in this world, or at least the city. The Mortalborn knew a thing or two about loneliness.
Before Elyna could answer, Malcolm piped up again, "we don't have to talk here." He felt the heavy presence of those in their company as keenly as the woman herself probably did and thought that opting to put some distance between them might give the noble woman a chance to open up.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:43 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 330
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Elyna
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
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His question surprised her. The Skyrider frowned, could she? Could she feel empathy for a woman who mere existence had caused the enslaving and death of so many souls? Was he questioning her ability to empathise and sympathise? Did he think she wasn’t capable, or did he wish she wasn’t? It was a strange reply. She could also well understand why Avari would leave after their release. Or at least, she thought she could. How could she stay and see all the marks of suffering? Who could do that?

His next line of enquiry rendered her speechless. His fingertips brushed against the back of her hand and she flinched, pressing her fingers to the cool grass between them. The wisp of grass discarded. He had saved her from two, vile and aggressive men and the plans they had had for her. Without his intervention, then… She still couldn’t think about it. But it was also likely that he had saved her life, and in doing so had almost given his own. How could he possibly offend her? Elyna frowned at, which she realised would do little to dispel his concern that she was somehow insulted.

The movements he made were out of the character she had come to think of as usual for him. Malcolm was a considered man, every word or action carefully measured. At his suggestion that they talk elsewhere, her heart pounded somewhere in the region of her throat. She couldn’t think, let alone speak for a moment. Yes, yes in many ways so longed to be away from the group. Her gaze moved to the crowd of trees. But there was nothing she would say, that couldn’t be heard by the others. They couldn’t vanish into the darkness, there would be no confession that spending time around him made her feel as though she was losing her mind.

No, she was older and wiser and she stamped down on the surge of longing she felt towards this man. She had no intention of acknowledging her thoughts, to trying to say them out loud. After all the possible scenarios had sped through her mind she blinked, trying to shake the drowning feeling she felt in his presence. The trees rustled in the wind and she bit her lip before making a final decision.

“I am not offended. And I am certain that you could never offend me, Ser,” she replied after what felt like an age to find the right words. She struggled to keep her voice steady and force herself to meet his gaze. Afraid though, that he would see too much in her expression despite the gathering night. She stood up and brushed any remnants of the turf from her person.

“I…” She considered her decision again before shaking her head, there was nothing more that she could say. She just had to hope he believed her, “I best return,” she nodded her head to the campfire and spun on her heel to retreat. Danger. Run from danger.
Last edited by Elyna on Fri Jun 03, 2016 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 517
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Rumour
Prophet of Old
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We Were Wild

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Elyna


Skills

Skills:
  • Mount: Horse - 4
  • Rhetoric - 2
  • Detection - 2
  • Logistics - 1
  • Endurance - 1
  • Tactics -1
  • Philosophy - 1

Knowledge

Basic Knowledge:
  • Snakes: Frequently found in Warrick
  • Personal Fear: Snakes

Specialized Knowledge:
  • Mount: Horses respond well to praise
  • Tactics: Higher ground provides an advantage
  • Rynmere Story: The Story of Avari Krome and Zor
  • Name Origin: Zor River
  • Name Origin: Avari River
  • Avari Krome: Rumoured to have Immortal blood
  • Zor: Sees the future

Loot & Consequences

N/A

Comments

I wish I could award you more skills or knowledge for Ely’s inner thoughts. You write her inner life so well, and it’s really nice to have that extra insight into who she is as a person and what lies behind her decisions. As it is, I awarded as much as I could!

Also, here's one of my favourite phrases from your posts: "Strange isn't it, that people can feel so alone surrounded by hordes of people, and out here where there are so few, there is more community." I could 100% relate to this. So, so true.

A quick note: Please go ahead and switch the “Planning” skill points you currently have in your CS to “Logistics”. I think we got rid of Planning in the skills switchover.

To the both of you: It's super weird going back in time and seeing Elyna & Mal when they were first getting to know each other! :P I really like it, though. It's also cool to realize how much they've grown since Ashan - and how much trouble you've thrown their way! Wonderful interactions, as always. Looking forward to the next one!


Malcolm


Skills

Skills:
  • Mount: Horse - 4
  • Rhetoric - 2
  • Leadership - 2
  • Tactics - 2
  • Persuasion - 1
  • Logistics - 1
  • Endurance - 1
  • Detection - 1
  • Shield Combat - 1
  • Blades: Longsword - 1
  • Storytelling - 1

Knowledge

Basic Knowledge:
  • Elyna: Has one brother

Specialized Knowledge:
  • Vanessa: Ready to end your relationship
  • Elyna: Persistent
  • Elyna: Afraid of snakes
  • Elyna: Hates slavery
  • Edmund Burhan: Loves the sea
  • Mount: How to pace a horse
  • Tactics: Higher ground provides an advantage
  • Rynmere Bandits: Hide in old farms and hidden settlements
  • Rynmere Story: The Story of Avari Krome and Zor
  • Name Origin: Zor River
  • Name Origin: Avari River
  • Avari Krome: Rumoured to have Immortal blood
  • Zor: Sees the future

Loot & Consequences

N/A

Comments

This is my first thread where I’ve seen Mal and Vanessa interact. They are tragic and wonderful and I love how you write them. Also, this line is lovely: “She never said goodbye, only hello.”

I really enjoyed seeing Malcolm out and about, leading his team, and (for the most part) being happy. You bring a lot of description and action to your posts, and are constantly pushing the plot forward. As always, this thread was a pleasure to read!

To the both of you: It's super weird going back in time and seeing Elyna & Mal when they were first getting to know each other! :P I really like it, though. It's also cool to realize how much they've grown since Ashan - and how much trouble you've thrown their way! Wonderful interactions, as always. Looking forward to the next one!


If you feel I've missed any skills or knowledge, or if you have any questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thank you!

xoxo
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"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
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