Name: Freya
Knowledge:
Wendell: Truce
Wendell: Learning Rakahi
Wendell: Irksome
Wendell: Draws your attraction
Wendell: Distracts you
Gorroc: Mad you stole his “money maker”
Qyona: Mad you stole her “money maker”
Valkan: Concerned
Biqaj: Pride taken in clans and family
Biqaj: Unity in blood
Biqaj: Honor in name
Biqaj: Do not welcome orphaned blood
Wendell: Part of your new clan
Philosophy: Always a reason people cross paths
Qyona: Tried to kill you
Qyona: Thinks you’re a foolish wench
Blades: Letter Opener
Blades, Letter Opener: Stabbing
Qyona: Scum
Valkan: Cares about you
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Stab
Unarmed Combat: Brawling
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Scratching
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Kick
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Deflect
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Loot: Please deduct the bandages and healing supplies from your ledger if you don’t already own them.
Injuries: Stab wound in the shoulder will heal in 50 trials
Neck bruises will fade in 3 trials
Fame: +4 for defeating Qyona in single combat
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Name: Wendell
Knowledge:
Rakahi: Past tense words
Rakahi: Present tense words
Rakahi: Roll your tongue
Rakahi: Greetings and farewells
Biqaj: Pride taken in clans and family
Biqaj: Unity in blood
Biqaj: Honor in name
Biqaj: Do not welcome orphaned blood
Freya: Biqaj without clan
Freya: Orphaned blood
Freya: Has clan with you
Freya: Following you around
Freya: Never leaves you alone
Freya: Shoulders tighten when angry
Freya: Attractive
Freya: Distracts you
Seafaring: Holding the wheel steady
Arbiter: Judge
Axes & Bludgeons: Wooden Bat
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Slicing
Gorroc: Tried to kill you
Qyona: Tried to kill Freya
Valkan: Cares for Freya
Valkan: Concerned for Freya
Caed: Has magic
Medicine: Stopping bleeding
Medicine: Pressure bandages
Medicine: Packing with herbs
Medicine: Cleaning a wound
Loot: N/A
Injuries: Bump on the head that will fade in 3 trials
Neck bruises that will fade in 3 trials
Fame: +3 for murdering Gorroc, +1 for defending Freya
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Name: Valkan
Knowledge:
Location: The Arbiter
Seafaring: Knots sailor’s use
Wendell: “Companion”
Freya: Won’t let you intervene
Freya: Biqaj
Freya: Has interest in Wendell
Wendell: Has interest in Freya
Gorroc: Tried to kill Wendell
Qyona: Tried to kill Freya
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Pommel hit
Blades, Dagger: Throat slice
Caed: Has magic
Medicine: Stopping bleeding
Medicine: Pressure bandages
Medicine: Packing with herbs
Medicine: Cleaning a wound
Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: +3 for murdering Gorroc, +1 for defending Freya
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Comment:
Wow I enjoyed grading this! It was so action packed and I enjoyed seeing how each character reacted to the life or death events they were faced with. It brought some interesting things to light and possibly clarified the murky waters of relationships. You guys did a fabulous job collaborating.
Freya, you can certainly tell a great story and I absolutely love Freya as a character. You always stay true to her in your writing, and that’s really important as sometimes people let too much of themselves leak into characters. This was definitely an excellent collaboration between you three. I saw some mistakes that an edit, or an additional edit if you edited once, should clear up.
Wendell, the quality of your posts are always excellent, and you definitely bring a certain sense of character to Wendell that I am absolutely in love with! And not just because he’s sexy. Great collaboration. I saw a few minor mistakes, like knight instead of knife. Things that might be your iPads fault. But overall it was excellent.
Valkan, you also bring a good sense of quality in your posts, and I’m starting to see a bit of who Valkan is as a character. Life or death situations can tell a lot about a person, and I felt Valkan handled them just as his previous character indicated he would. Great collaboration. Saw a few things like me instead of men that may have missed your edits. Overall, though, it was super!
Additional Note: I was a little unsure about how to process the fame, so I talked it over with some other reviewers. It was decided that since the attack was started by Gorroc and Qyona that the fame should be positive. The amounts were decided based on Freya winning a one on one and Valkan and Wendell killing a "bandit". If you disagree with this please let me know and we can talk it out.
If you feel that I've missed anything or have any questions or comments, please PM me!
Knowledge:
Wendell: Truce
Wendell: Learning Rakahi
Wendell: Irksome
Wendell: Draws your attraction
Wendell: Distracts you
Gorroc: Mad you stole his “money maker”
Qyona: Mad you stole her “money maker”
Valkan: Concerned
Biqaj: Pride taken in clans and family
Biqaj: Unity in blood
Biqaj: Honor in name
Biqaj: Do not welcome orphaned blood
Wendell: Part of your new clan
Philosophy: Always a reason people cross paths
Qyona: Tried to kill you
Qyona: Thinks you’re a foolish wench
Blades: Letter Opener
Blades, Letter Opener: Stabbing
Qyona: Scum
Valkan: Cares about you
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Stab
Unarmed Combat: Brawling
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Scratching
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Kick
Unarmed Combat, Brawling: Deflect
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Loot: Please deduct the bandages and healing supplies from your ledger if you don’t already own them.
Injuries: Stab wound in the shoulder will heal in 50 trials
Neck bruises will fade in 3 trials
Fame: +4 for defeating Qyona in single combat
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Name: Wendell
Knowledge:
Rakahi: Past tense words
Rakahi: Present tense words
Rakahi: Roll your tongue
Rakahi: Greetings and farewells
Biqaj: Pride taken in clans and family
Biqaj: Unity in blood
Biqaj: Honor in name
Biqaj: Do not welcome orphaned blood
Freya: Biqaj without clan
Freya: Orphaned blood
Freya: Has clan with you
Freya: Following you around
Freya: Never leaves you alone
Freya: Shoulders tighten when angry
Freya: Attractive
Freya: Distracts you
Seafaring: Holding the wheel steady
Arbiter: Judge
Axes & Bludgeons: Wooden Bat
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Slicing
Gorroc: Tried to kill you
Qyona: Tried to kill Freya
Valkan: Cares for Freya
Valkan: Concerned for Freya
Caed: Has magic
Medicine: Stopping bleeding
Medicine: Pressure bandages
Medicine: Packing with herbs
Medicine: Cleaning a wound
Loot: N/A
Injuries: Bump on the head that will fade in 3 trials
Neck bruises that will fade in 3 trials
Fame: +3 for murdering Gorroc, +1 for defending Freya
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Name: Valkan
Knowledge:
Location: The Arbiter
Seafaring: Knots sailor’s use
Wendell: “Companion”
Freya: Won’t let you intervene
Freya: Biqaj
Freya: Has interest in Wendell
Wendell: Has interest in Freya
Gorroc: Tried to kill Wendell
Qyona: Tried to kill Freya
Unarmed Combat, Wrestling: Grappling
Blades: Dagger
Blades, Dagger: Pommel hit
Blades, Dagger: Throat slice
Caed: Has magic
Medicine: Stopping bleeding
Medicine: Pressure bandages
Medicine: Packing with herbs
Medicine: Cleaning a wound
Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: +3 for murdering Gorroc, +1 for defending Freya
Story: 5
Collaboration: 5
Structure: 5
Comment:
Wow I enjoyed grading this! It was so action packed and I enjoyed seeing how each character reacted to the life or death events they were faced with. It brought some interesting things to light and possibly clarified the murky waters of relationships. You guys did a fabulous job collaborating.
Freya, you can certainly tell a great story and I absolutely love Freya as a character. You always stay true to her in your writing, and that’s really important as sometimes people let too much of themselves leak into characters. This was definitely an excellent collaboration between you three. I saw some mistakes that an edit, or an additional edit if you edited once, should clear up.
This sentence needs a stop somewhere in the middle. It reads like a run-on. And I saw some misplaced words like scolding fire where it should be scalding fire. Overall, very great!Wendell was becoming an irritating annoying, however, due to his overwhelming presence every time they were near each other, she often overlooked his behavior in favor of watching the man.
Wendell, the quality of your posts are always excellent, and you definitely bring a certain sense of character to Wendell that I am absolutely in love with! And not just because he’s sexy. Great collaboration. I saw a few minor mistakes, like knight instead of knife. Things that might be your iPads fault. But overall it was excellent.
Valkan, you also bring a good sense of quality in your posts, and I’m starting to see a bit of who Valkan is as a character. Life or death situations can tell a lot about a person, and I felt Valkan handled them just as his previous character indicated he would. Great collaboration. Saw a few things like me instead of men that may have missed your edits. Overall, though, it was super!
Additional Note: I was a little unsure about how to process the fame, so I talked it over with some other reviewers. It was decided that since the attack was started by Gorroc and Qyona that the fame should be positive. The amounts were decided based on Freya winning a one on one and Valkan and Wendell killing a "bandit". If you disagree with this please let me know and we can talk it out.
If you feel that I've missed anything or have any questions or comments, please PM me!