Lavana a day before her trip had been left devastated by her mother. And left to isolated contemplation of what shed said, Lavana was a broken sword that would re-forge herself through discipline she would become a champion in her mother's eyes everything shed dreamed when she had been conceived but she would take those gifts and wield them adamantly against her mother with contempt.
3rd Of Ashan
She might not have what it takes to turn her sword on mother dearest but the mortal born had the guts and knew what it took to rise like a champion. And shed hurt Raskalarn back, shed hurt her with every fiber of being, undisciplined like the sword that had been wielded at her as Raskalarn proclaimed her; Her Greatest Failure. Nahh fuck that, going out like her sister was a lack of strength the easy cope out her mother wielded like an excuse to shield herself from the reality of her poor parenting.
Lavana would exercise self control, a promise and commitment to herself as shed set her sights to the sky. There would be no capitulation only annihilation of her old ways and shed be reborn in glory, but shed use the climb, the drive within to become the daughter her mother always wanted if only to become the thing that would spurn her advances and reject her as shed done to her and her sister.
As shed drawn the line in the trenches of her heart, shed arm herself with the tools given to her and become a war machine. But would weather the fire storms of emotion and influence in the dominion of her mind as shed forge it like tempered steel to withstand the onslaught.
She sat in desolation her room now the aftermath of emotional ruination. And within her hands she cradled her new claymore sitting sullenly in her bedroom her bed disheveled and destroyed while the old bronze sword was left on the floor like the disgrace it was as it cried out metaphorically her as it glimmered like gold but it was ignored; it once had sacred merit in her heart but now it was garbage to be left behind as she turned it a cold shoulder.
She had begun to ruminate over herself as she stared at her reflection in polished steel as shed make these promises to herself as she prepared herself for the task at hand. Cultivating a new state of being as she had begun to whistle to herself, as she wisped her wetstone across the length of her blade. Lavana wanted to hone a fine edge on her steel so that she may cut with purpose.
All the while shed prepare herself internally honing herself, grinding down the imperfections while the band of Ceralion feigntly glowed around her bicep.
Shed crinkled her nose at it as shed come to the conclusion shed been marked out of pity for her mother's blatant rejection of her. But she didn't know Qylios or her struggles, only that the immortal sympathized for her and it made her feel weak and disgusting. A mark of pity that's all she achieved that evening, while everyone else set out for glory shed been discarded like that stupid bronze sword that had failed her. And the mortal born didn't know what to make of Qylios either, what was her deal? Just a pat on the back and I'm off, it didn't make sense to her but her relationship was more encouraging and accepting then what she felt from her mother. Qylios was tenable, maybe shed find what she was looking for from this deity. But what did she want? Was this a manipulation? The orphan in her didn't readily trust the immortal.
But she was ready to find her own path, if Ceralion was to cascade her in illumination so she could find her way in the darkness. As shed traverse deeper further down rabbit hole into the unknown and claim what belonged to her, shed take her sister back; Raskalarns Greatest Failure was being a mother as it was an extension beyond her strength. But it was a terrifying journey all alone, but shed find the courage to carry on as the walls were closing in around her. The mortal born knew the choices would set her against the grain but shed find strength as shed arm herself with discipline. She was well aware of the dissatisfaction it would cause, and the grief shed bring. But she knew in her heart of hearts that if she held her breath and closed her eyes and took the plunge she could swim to the bottom of that lake and never find what she was looking for, but with Qylios she open her eyes and find her sister as the darkness below would bow to the light so that she may pull her sister back up. This was a failure of her mother's strength, those that called themselves friends had failed Valtharn but her only real family would not! The bonds of discontent and hurt bound them together but then they were binded by blood and that was the strongest bond of all; shed walk this path alone if she must.
And the mortal born found tranquil solace, a comfort she never knew as she rationalized her wild feelings and set forth to tame them and harness those feelings to find strength not physical but within to fortify her resolve in the matter.
Shed behave on the journey, and learn what she could from Kura. She even had formulated a question to ask her on the trip, what if it had been Ela that had succumbed to madness? Would she have the strength to notch an arrow at her? It was straight forward and rhetorical and the answer would shape there future endeavors and how she perceived her. But for now, the empire was a toxic subject that she wanted to push down as she hardened her heart.
She cracked an ominous grin as she slid the stone, and whistled as she waged a war a conflict from within as she strategised her ascent carefully weighing the costs as she measured not herself but the merit behind what needed to be done to give herself justice and fulfill what was lacking.
Her mother could have shown up at any moment, and was a no show. It wasn't about the mark the favor shed bestowed upon Kura, it was the principal. If only Lavana had known shed been one fucking room away! Each slide down the stone sang it's melodious discord as she refined her edge. She couldnt be bothered, lacked the courtesy of a parent. Each time she told herself as stone scraped again the steel in a slick methodical swipe. Couldn't be bothered, the war drum pounded like her heart beat as shed find herself in this rhythmic tempo. She simply didnt give two shits about her as she kept repeating as her stone glided upon it's path. Her battle cry within, Could care less! All it would have taken to satisfy Lavana was a moment of concern but it had not been received.
Kura had stolen her mother, but it was ok. She was a failure as Valtharns friend, she was marked by the immortal of failures. They deserved each other as contempt reared itself to the surface only to be ushered down again. Shed the discipline put this aside or so she told herself as she got up from her bed and raised her sword. As she did this she twisted it back and forth so she could cast Amber eyes down the razors edge to see a freshly sharpened sword; her margin of perfection as she put herself against the measure.
Shed learn what it took to navigate politics, a test of her discipline against an adversary of her mother's favor. She would learn from her enemies and come up so fast as she would ride the lightning to become a force never before seen.
She would channel her frustration and use it as a catalyst to propel herself forward, by letting go; for now. If she let her emotions get in the way shed lose her opportunity, but she saw her path to victory to glory what shed been denied that evening.
Lavana would never forget that
"You couldn't be bothered! You bitch! You could have cared less while I lay bleeding! I will never forgive you for that. You called me a failure, but I see the truth. Lavana smiled smugly to herself recounting that conversation "nothing to say for yourself?" She felt good, felt strong as she put her rage to use disciplining herself to push forward. " My sister was not an extension of weakness, it was yours! You failed her, you bailed, you left her in solitude and threw her to darkness you were a coward" Lavana felt emboldened as she liberated herself from her mother's dominion."By the way, Qylios told me to say hello" Lavana closed her eyes and breathed in with a smile. " I'm an Ivorian now, you can keep your titles! I'm done being a tool in your eyes, I'm going to become a shield and use my gifts to thwart you! At every turn you will see my strength and curse yourself for not seeing it within me.
I don't need to see you to know you can hear me you spoke yo me that evening then left me for dead, but make no mistake me and you.
we are through.
I ... Disown you "