Vega didn't know what to do.
Or, actually, that wasn't true. She didn't know how
to do what she had to. The snow was falling, heavily, and it had been since the night before so she felt safer
, but she'd wondered about if she was doing the right thing by being here, where there were people and wood and sails and all sorts of flammable things. Still, surrounded by water at least. If it all went wrong, she wouldn't hesitate. She'd spent the night in the burned Inn and she knew that this was the only and best plan she had, that she was sure of, but should she even be coming back here at all? The thing was, Arlo would worry if he didn't see her and it wasn't like she could write him a letter. She wouldn't do that to him even if she could. Besides, selfishly, she needed to see him and him to see her. To know that she was alright even if she really wasn't.
But she had a plan for that, too.
So, the young woman pulled her cloak further around herself and considered that, as new arcs went, this one already sucked quite significantly. In fact, one trial in and 718 was already the worst one by quite a distance. But, she had to protect him. Because he'd want to work it out, want to say that everything would be alright and it wasn't safe
. It just wasn't safe for him to be around her. For her to be around him when in any trill she could hurt him and Vega had meant every word she said to the voices in her head, she'd kill herself without a pause rather than let a child be hurt. How much more would she do, how much further would she go for him
He'd already be worried, she knew, because she hadn't come back to the Wanderlust
last night. So, she had to put him out of his misery, had to let him know that she was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine and she was going to deal with it. Except, she knew he wouldn't let that happen, so Vega had decided that she knew what she had to do.
"This is a really rather stupid idea,"
Iris, her familiar whispered into her mind, but Vega's answer was out loud. "Jog on, Feathers, I've got enough nutballs in there without you addin' to it, don't I?"
Vega replied and she meant it. Voices in her head were just too much for her and if she could have she'd have forced the strangely beautiful creature to be quiet. She couldn't though, of course.
"I don't know what he sees in you"
Iris' tone was caustic, as ever, but Vega breathed in sharply like the hybrid had touched something which burned her. In a way, she had."Yeah, fair point. Well, this'll 'elp him twice then, won't it?"
"Eva, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
"Forget it. You're right. Shurrup, I'm here."
She was, indeed, at the docks and there was their boat. Frowning deeply, Vega took on the role she knew she needed to take. Did what she knew, or believed, she needed to do. She kept that frown, wore it like armour against what she knew was to come and she made her way on to the "Wanderlust
She had to get on and off the boat quickly, it was a risk even being here, but Vega had to pick up her things. She didn't have a cart and couldn't take one where she was going, so she'd stopped at the market and got a bag like the one she'd bought for Arlo for his birthday. The thought of it, the memory of it, made her want to cry but she was stubborn and determined and would not back down. But she didn't need to, because he wasn't here. Vega considered that he might be out looking for her but then, as she looked around she saw that his things had gone, too. Not all of them, but more of them than if he was just popping out. What did that mean?
It didn't matter, Vega thought to herself. It didn't matter, she needed to get out of here now, before her resolve broke. In this moment, Vega wished that she could read, so that she could write. But what would she write? That she loved him, but couldn't hurt him? Yet, he had to know, when he came back. He had to know or.. of course, that made sense. As she lifted her hand to her wrist, the voice of her familiar spoke.
"Why would you take it off? You love it"
Sometimes, Vega thought, there was something very ancient about Iris. Other times, she was as clueless as they came."I do. But not as much as I love 'im, an' when he sees it, he'll think that he knows."
"Why not just tell him, Eva?"
Vega put the bracelet down with trembling hands, leaving it on the table for him to find. "Because I love 'im. An' him, me. An' he won't leave or let me go, but if I stay, I'm 'urtin' him. I might kill 'im, we just don't know. I can't take that risk, because I love 'im. No shurrup, we've gotta go. Time for the next step in the plan"
The plan, as far as it could be defined as such, was that she would make her way to the Inn, pick up her sword and then go and buy the bare minimum of supplies before moving on to the mountains, where it was cold and she could get this under control. The someone she was meeting, of course, was the voices. She needed to do something, so she had to talk to them. But last time that had happened, she'd been on fire - all of her arm. The fire lived under her skin now and Vega knew she wasn't safe to be around. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was all that she had. At least, she thought as she focused on just walking away, it didn't matter that she couldn't read. She got the feeling that being in a library and researching a better plan probably wasn't the best idea. Parchment, wood, all of that stuff. No, she needed to get out of here, out of town and away from people and as quickly as possible.
Discipline: Doing what you believe to be right.
Discipline: Ignoring your emotions
Discipline: Sometimes, being a stubborn pain in the neck helps you do what you have to