60th of Zi'da, Arc 717
Sinna was starting to get frustrated, because she couldn't tell Zane that she was thinking of going to live with Oliver. The prospect of being of use... or actually realizing a dream was too enticing, and now that she's heard that Oliver's been hurt on the rumor mill, she wanted to go see him all the more.
For some reason, not even really knowing the man, the way that he was practically in tears for her even after laughing at her, it had tore at her heart. She wished she could have been there for him. But here she was, standing flustered because Zane wasn't here again. And she didn't know how to get to him, and flying aimlessly with Avery wasn't the way to do it.
And being alone wasn't helping her tiny little Tunawa brain. Because she kept thinking back to that day when she tried to kill herself. Death, one of the things she was most afraid of... she'd tried to seek solace in it. But.... she was stopped. She looked at the sky now because of that, had met Oliver, Darcy, and yes.. even Caius.. because of that.
Tears were welling up in her eyes again. "Maybe... I do have a reason to live?"
She whispered to the sky. She looked around, suddenly worried that Zane might have come back at that instant. But he hadn't, and she was glad for it. She still hadn't told him that she'd tried to kill herself either. She didn't plan to either. She couldn't just let herself be an open book with him. She wasn't going to stay an open book either. No one was going to find out about it other than the man that stopped her.
This was going to mark the changing of the tides of her life. She was going to move forwards. She was going to find out what she wanted, what she really wanted at the bottom of her tiny little heart.
She did mean what she said at Oliver's Gala, but, how much of it did she actually believe. To be honest, she didn't know how she could make any difference at all. Idalos was so big, and she was just one tunawa, with a couple.. human... friends. Humans, not just giants but humans. That was going to be a change too. Thinking of them like that.
For some reason, not even really knowing the man, the way that he was practically in tears for her even after laughing at her, it had tore at her heart. She wished she could have been there for him. But here she was, standing flustered because Zane wasn't here again. And she didn't know how to get to him, and flying aimlessly with Avery wasn't the way to do it.
And being alone wasn't helping her tiny little Tunawa brain. Because she kept thinking back to that day when she tried to kill herself. Death, one of the things she was most afraid of... she'd tried to seek solace in it. But.... she was stopped. She looked at the sky now because of that, had met Oliver, Darcy, and yes.. even Caius.. because of that.
Tears were welling up in her eyes again. "Maybe... I do have a reason to live?"
She whispered to the sky. She looked around, suddenly worried that Zane might have come back at that instant. But he hadn't, and she was glad for it. She still hadn't told him that she'd tried to kill herself either. She didn't plan to either. She couldn't just let herself be an open book with him. She wasn't going to stay an open book either. No one was going to find out about it other than the man that stopped her.
This was going to mark the changing of the tides of her life. She was going to move forwards. She was going to find out what she wanted, what she really wanted at the bottom of her tiny little heart.
She did mean what she said at Oliver's Gala, but, how much of it did she actually believe. To be honest, she didn't know how she could make any difference at all. Idalos was so big, and she was just one tunawa, with a couple.. human... friends. Humans, not just giants but humans. That was going to be a change too. Thinking of them like that.