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After the Soiree?

60th of Zi'da 717

The seven Duchies of Central Rynmere and their respective baronies, cities, towns, villages, and landmarks each overseen by a Duke of one of the seven noble families and ultimately controlled by the King of Rynmere.
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Sinnammyn
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Race: Tunawa
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Yet May The Tide Ever Change

60th of Zi'da, Arc 717
Sinna was starting to get frustrated, because she couldn't tell Zane that she was thinking of going to live with Oliver. The prospect of being of use... or actually realizing a dream was too enticing, and now that she's heard that Oliver's been hurt on the rumor mill, she wanted to go see him all the more.

For some reason, not even really knowing the man, the way that he was practically in tears for her even after laughing at her, it had tore at her heart. She wished she could have been there for him. But here she was, standing flustered because Zane wasn't here again. And she didn't know how to get to him, and flying aimlessly with Avery wasn't the way to do it.

And being alone wasn't helping her tiny little Tunawa brain. Because she kept thinking back to that day when she tried to kill herself. Death, one of the things she was most afraid of... she'd tried to seek solace in it. But.... she was stopped. She looked at the sky now because of that, had met Oliver, Darcy, and yes.. even Caius.. because of that.

Tears were welling up in her eyes again. "Maybe... I do have a reason to live?"

She whispered to the sky. She looked around, suddenly worried that Zane might have come back at that instant. But he hadn't, and she was glad for it. She still hadn't told him that she'd tried to kill herself either. She didn't plan to either. She couldn't just let herself be an open book with him. She wasn't going to stay an open book either. No one was going to find out about it other than the man that stopped her.

This was going to mark the changing of the tides of her life. She was going to move forwards. She was going to find out what she wanted, what she really wanted at the bottom of her tiny little heart.

She did mean what she said at Oliver's Gala, but, how much of it did she actually believe. To be honest, she didn't know how she could make any difference at all. Idalos was so big, and she was just one tunawa, with a couple.. human... friends. Humans, not just giants but humans. That was going to be a change too. Thinking of them like that.
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Sinnammyn
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Yet May The Tide Ever Change

60th of Zi'da, Arc 717
Maybe she should just leave, take all her stuff and just tell him when she had the chance? She was sure that he'd understand. Though she would have prefered that he know that she was going, rather than he worry about... her. Wait? Why did she care what he thought? It wasn't like he was especially thoughtful on the matter of her wanting to not live.

He practically encouraged her to kill herself. Yet, here she was worrying about him worrying. Now, after all that time of wanting to disappear and almost making it a reality.

But that was all before the gala. Before she realize that she might actually still have things she wanted to do. That she wanted to try and make some kind of a difference. She wanted to change herself, and the world around her for the better.

Knowing that she wanted to do those things and actually doing them were two different things though. How was she going to change herself? How was she going to stick to her plans of becoming a better being, a better someone. Someone that she might have looked up to as a tiny sapling. Not that she really could remember if there was anyone of the sort.

The only being that came to mind when she thought about it was not even mortal, but a goddess. She smiled softly and laid back. She was on the window sill again. It had kind of become her spot since living with Zane. Her and Avery could still kind of be out in nature this way. She liked it. Though it was a bit chilly. She liked her connection with nature more than anything. She was just another living essence of nature wasn't she?

Another thought popped into her head. As small as she was, the others said that she could make a difference. Had all agreed with each other that she, with little to no skills, could make a difference in this grand world of humans. Humans, humanoids, and treefolk. All of them having struggles of their own, and all of them in need of help.

She stared up at the sky and frowned, wondering for a moment just what she could do to help all these people, all these beings. Sure, she could free them from slavery, but how could she do that? How could she get them free? She didn't have a job. She couldn't just pay them out of slavery. Even then, even if she could, she would be crazy to think that would stop slavery from happening.

No, she had to make it something that wasn't okay across all of Idalos. That was a tall order, a very tall order. She guessed that even a human would need help with something like this. This was more, a movement. Not just a pipedream but one that she was going to have to struggle, bite and claw her way to get noticed. Sure, a few nobles were willing to help her.

Even with their help though, she had to plan, she had to have ideas, she had to figure out how to do what little she could on her own. To do that, she was going to need to be able to do more. To read, and write, to make contracts. She needed a job to earn her nel. She needed to pull herself together, to not allow herself to be eaten by the darkness in her heart. She had to find hope in even the littlest of things, and to not let the smallest set back pull her down into that depth of darkness.

She needed to not focus on the past, and only look forward, towards her future. Create her own aims, her own goals. She wasn't a slave anymore, she could do what she wanted. Meaning she could try her hardest to give that same freedom to others.

Many might say that she was one of the lucky ones. Thrown away instead of put back up for sale as a slave again. Many would envy her. Envy wasn't the word that she would have used for the feeling that she had. Maybe with the help of Oliver, those people that had her would eventually pay for what they'd done.

Her heart stopped. No, she wasn't that kind of being. She wasn't going to wish upon other's ill will just because they did something bad to her. She wasn't going to let herself fade into any kind of darkness, even if she really wanted to. Taking a moment she sat up and looked over the city scene out of the window.

Those people would get what they deserved without her help. That's what Karma did, and eventually, with hard work, she would get what she wanted. Even if she didn't 100 percent know what it was that she actually wanted. She was going to learn what she needed to and reach for her goal with arms open wide.
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Sinnammyn
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Yet May The Tide Ever Change

60th of Zi'da, Arc 717
She had to be realistic with herself. No matter what her decisions were going to be be going forward, the goals she set before her wouldn't be easy to reach. That was just the fact of the matter. She knew this. Like she'd reminded herself already, she needed to learn to read and write.

Maybe she would need to be able to speak in front of crowds. Without the deep down fear that she was going to have someone try and grab her and put her back into slavery. Maybe she would need to hire bodyguards? Just people to protect her, not to fight people for her. She wasn't going to be aggressive in her stance. Things already seemed delicate in Rynmere, she didn't need to add all that much to the tension.

Though she guessed, just campaigning to end slavery wasn't going to be enough. She sighed and looked up at the sky. This world is so big, there's no way that she was going to be able to free every slave. Not at the speed that she wanted at least. But how did that saying go? Any good thing comes with time and effort.

She nodded to herself and slowly made her way over to Avery. She was going to start looking into what she could do to get herself ready for what was ahead in her life, whatever that may be. She would fight the negatives in her life with all the good she could muster. She knew that she would struggle with it, but that was part of life. Struggle. All that mattered was that she was taking steps to move forward.

Climbing onto Avery, she decided that she would do what she could right now. Get Avery food, get herself food, learn more about the area of Andaris, learn a bit more about navigating the city. Now learning to navigate by the sky was quite different then learning to navigate by land or walking. She knew that, and at some point, she would try and learn how to do that too. For now though, she was going to borrow Avery's ability to fly to get her where she could. And knowing that she could still get lost if she lost Avery, she knew she was going to have to learn the town even better, maybe learn how to read a map. It was at least a place to start.

Even if she didn't know where to find a map. But she would find one. Eventually, and eventually, she would be able to whatever it was that she planned to do in the future. She was going to be careful with it, work towards it even if it was hard to let herself continue living, and every time she questioned herself, she knew that something would tell her to stop, to take a breath and think about it. She needed to be here, only she could make the difference that she wanted to make. She knew that. That was exactly what Oliver was getting at too. So she wasn't going to stop here. She was going to figure out what she could do with the time that she had.
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Alistair
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Yet May The Tide Ever Change

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Sinna


Knowledge
Skill
Rhetoric: Mental Self Motivation Speech
Meditation: Going through the motions
Navigation: Learning where things are from the air.
Psychology: Understanding your own mental weakness
Psychology: The difference between Pity and Understanding
Psychology: Your reason to live is out there, find it

Non-Skill
Self: I want to die sometimes, so what. What then?
Self: Use my past as a launching point
Self: I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
Self: Other's believe in me
Self: Don't give up just because you don't know what the next step is.

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Renown: N/A

Points N/A - JK, 10

Comments: Silly Tunawa... you forget that your kind don't have feelings! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Just kidding - that was actually pretty deep and sad. I never thought I'd read a thread about a depressed Tunawa; I thought they were all perfect, dancing forest children who were ready to sprout fairy wings at any moment, lol. Good stuff!
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