• Mature • Look With Your Heart (Elyna)

Faith continues to dream of her crush on Malcolm. Somewhat inappropriately.

Known colloquially as the "Realm of Dreams", Emea is a mysterious place accessed primarily beyond the realm of consciousness as the mortal body sleeps in Idalos. The mind travels far at night and Emea's not without its unique risks and dangers, though Jesine's vigilance keeps mortals mostly safe.

Moderators: Anomaly, Rumour

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Malcolm
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Posts: 1100
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:11 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: +179
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Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:23 am

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Elyna had always been a whirlwind, and perhaps that was why the man had taken such an interest in the first place. Not only was she beautiful and brave, but like the sea she was unpredictable, calm one minute and deadly the next. While Malcolm could appreciate her spirit, at times he found their relationship to be somewhat exhausting.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," he finally acknowledged Faith with words and reached out his hand after moving closer to her, offering to help the women to her feet.
The noble woman's scream still echoed in his mind, and guilt twisted his insides in uncomfortable knots. He never should have left Rynmere. Part of him had felt like he owed the immortals something for returning him to life, but in marrying Elyna, he had promised and failed to keep her safe.
"Are you one of my students?" Malcolm smiled, even if Faith had trouble looking him in the eye. The knight wasn't used to young women finding themselves infatuated with him, and so it seemed only logical that she must have seen him around the university or perhaps at one of the noble events that were often hosted in the crown of the city.
"I will bid you goodnight for now, my lady, and offer my sincerest apologies again."
As Malcolm turned to go, he noticed the woollen jumper and knitting needles on the floor. Carefully he picked them up and returned the goods to Faith. "It looks to be a quality piece," he admired the jumper before setting it free into her care. "I'm sure whoever it's for will appreciate it very much," and with that he was gone.
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Fri Sep 16, 2016 2:08 am

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Review: Completed!
I'm Anomaly, and I come bearing gifts in the form of a thread review. The thread has been thoroughly combed and all participants have been alloted their rewards, listed below. If you can't find your name, please see the closing comments at the end of the post. Thank you!

Faith

Skills

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5

Knowledge

Meditation: Occupy your Hands With Crafts
Elyna: Belongs to Malcolm
Elyna: A Slave to Love
Elyna: Malcolm's Wife

Other

N/A

Notes

Full marks! Nothing major to remark on. You forgot full stops in a few places, but it was nothing that bothered me enough for me to subtract points for it.
Elyna

Skills

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5

Knowledge

Faith: A Dreaming Slave Girl
Faith: Born a Slave
Faith: Loves Malcolm

Other

N/A

Notes

Full marks! I have nothing major to remark on. I noticed that there were a couple of sentences that had strange structure, most likely due to choice of words, but it was only upon rereading them that I actually saw them. None of them stood out to me enough to subtract any Structure points. :)
Malcolm

Skills

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5

Knowledge

Elyna: Took off her ring in Emea

Other

N/A

Notes

Full marks! There were a couple of words that were likely exchanged by a spellchecker, but it wasn't nearly enough to be disruptive.

Closing comments: This was dramatic all around and very enjoyable. I feel terrible for poor Faith. She's like a little baby! :D Good job, guys. It was a very, very nice thread.

Lastly, if there are any questions or concerns about your review, send me a message as soon as you're able so we can sort it out if need be.

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