Grill Me!

A section for players to give reviews and feedback on other users' and their writing style. This can be in the form of praise or constructive criticism.
Post Reply
User avatar
Nightshade Eld
Approved Character
Posts: 776
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 5:43 pm
Race: Mixed Race
Profession: The Best Hero
Renown: +460
Character Sheet
Prophets' Notes
Plot Notes
Partner
Player Review
Personal Journal
Templates
Letters

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Events

Tue Sep 20, 2016 10:39 pm

Tell me everything I do good and everything I do bad. Please, hit me with all you've got. I wanna get better.

Current Accounts:
Nightshade Eld
Ivy Gawyne
Zelferan
Aqihlih (Retired)
Last edited by Nightshade Eld on Wed May 09, 2018 3:09 am, edited 3 times in total.
Common ~ Ith'Ession ~ Lorien
Dear Mods,
Mod bombs are welcomed and encouraged!
User avatar
Jachiel
Approved Character
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue May 03, 2016 2:45 pm
Race: Human
Renown: +95
Character Sheet
Player Review
Personal Journal

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Events

Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:23 pm

So, this will be focused on Nightshade because she's the character I've rped with.

1. I think your writing is pretty solid. I particularly like the way that you look at an rp situation and find less obvious pathways through it - one memorable one being clearing the smoke with your wings in River of Stars.

2. I also like the way that you manage to lay out Nightshade's emotional landscape as clearly and vividly as the physical landscape around her, and clearly show what she's doing and thinking. I would note that a lot of your description focuses on sight and touch/pain. Including more of the senses - eg. what sounds does she hear, what smells are there in the air, etc - would produce an even more rounded and clearer description of where she is than you already have.

3. I was glad to see that you act at Nightshade's skill level, even when she doesn't have the confidence to realise how good she is, as with blades. Legendary, wow. So often I've seen writers fall into the trap of making their characters good at everything, successful at everything, and it's refreshing to see someone who doesn't.


I hope some of this helps. I'm not good at giving feedback.
Post Reply

Return to “Player Feedback”