[OOC] Machinations of a Rambler

[Patrick]

So I'm spending more and more time thinking about the potential route for Patrick to follow, now that he's legit become a Sessfiend due to Syroa's curse. (Thanks again Nymph!) Granted OOC wise I know what his quest involves, portraying it to occur IC is a totally different matter. Seeing as how Patrick has never been one to even concern himself with Immortals, the idea of him tracking one down and chase him to wherever he roams proves challenging all on its own. Yep. That's right. Patrick literally has to put forth the effort to discover where Ymiden will be this season, and head out on a journey to see if the guy will help alleviate the curse somehow.

That said I've also other plans to set into motion as well, some of my fellow writers are already aware, but to make it legit I figured I'd share it here as well. Patrick is pretty much going to build a spy network, and not just any simple network but a large one. One that'll allow him to know what all is going on throughout Idalos, wherever he may be at any given time of day. Not an easy task but I've got the solid idea down to get things going, and it starts with him opening a local business to run. Again it isn't going to be easy but eventually this will play a big part in the endeavor, because the business itself is going to produce small time results in regards of establishing a network of contacts. Especially with the Merchant's Guild.

With them as a contact to have in his pocket, Patrick can eventually establish his own assets throughout various places. Eventually I'm wanting him to help with places like orphanages and pubs, to serve as wealthy sources of information that he can use for his own gain. Why do this you may ask? Information is powerful and can make a fortune, if the right people are interested in buying at least. Not only does this make a lucrative business for Patrick in the long run, but it potentially opens up new doors along the way! Because it means he's got to travel all over Idalos for one, meet people who can provide information, and in turn discern value and provide opportunity for others to participate.

Again its going to be a long drawn out process, but after the first few plots I've got on my plate are finished; I'm going to focus more on this endeavor to hopefully create a very fun opportunity for others to join in on. Plus I've got plenty of other fantastic characters I want Patrick to meet.

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[Patrick]

Alright this time I'm back with a rant, seriously, because its been a recurring issue I've let slide one time too many. Lately I've been feeling as though my character's are on the back burner, in regards to posting with others as well as activity in general. Now before I go heavily into this rant, I'm going to start first by saying; yes there are situations and circumstances. Yes they do come up and always have the greatest, if not worst, timing in the world when you're about to do something.

Regardless of that however it really does reward one with a sense of understanding, should said person ever find themselves in a certain predicament, to actually attempt to make an effort every once in a while. If you say you're going to do something, and leave me waiting longer than a week with nothing, chances are I'm just going to get pissed off and run out of chances to give. Seriously. I'm not going into in depth detail here, but I'm pretty sure the ones who know, can distinguish themselves from the several that read this.

I get it. I have things I do outside of the forum as well, but in my spare time I actually do enjoy writing here. However when I log on to find nothing, not a single thread I've started, has been replied to when I've expected one... it disheartens me greatly. This plays heavily into part with the demotivational factor as well, because honestly why would I want to spend time writing, when I in turn feel like I'm just a waste of someone else's time? All because somebody couldn't bother to either do what they promised, or approach me with a heads up on whats currently kept them busy.

That sort of stuff makes a person feel less wanted as a partner, and it also impacts the character on a more personal level as well. It creates a trust gap between other potential players, who could very well be better if not great writing partners, which also creates a bigger gap between periods of inspiration/motivation to actually do stuff. Now again I'm not picking anyone out, but I do hope that this might open some eyes here once this is read. There's no ill will or spite in regards to everyone on here, as the player base is lovely and wonderful to interact with.

It's just that I noticed, here recently, that much of my lack of activity comes from hardly anything to look forward to. In regards to collaboration and interaction that is. Why? Probably because I had a streak of inactivity, and that tends to associate with 'likely to leave' or whatever is likely in that category. I'm planning to stick around and have some good times, but please, if you can't seem to deliver on what you promise; because of others taking up your time or conflicts with other players.... then do me a favor and stop wasting my time. When I log on I actually want to feel like people want to write with me, and that tends to work best when I've got a whole queue of replies lined up.

Rant. Over.

[Patrick]

So was my template getting stale to some people? I dunno honestly but I've seen collages in signatures, which led me to wonder about the possibility of creating self made collages out of boxcodes and stuff. At first I thought it would be a long, drawn out process since it was something I'd never really looked into doing before. I even went on google to try and see if I could find frames or borders I could use, but I guess my search criteria was terrible since I couldn't find anything I wanted to use. So I decided to experiment a little and crafted this little piece of code!

I'll admit it took me less time than I thought it would, as stupidly mentioned in my filler post for the template. When I The process isn't all that complicated either, really you just have to know what you want in order to fix it up. For this particular style I went with a background that was soft and easy to look at, and offered a neutral color scheme for all characters to use. Actually its more aligned with Kayleigh's own color array, since its blue, but it still fits well with the other two. Anyways figuring out the dimensions the next easy step since you're taking character images and just cropping them into the background.

For this template I went with 150x200 for the character images so I could align them and see they fit evenly within the center of the background. After that I used background styles to create a bevel that was reversed (maybe inverted?) to give the background a more 3-D quality with the pictures, and made sure all three character images had that same layer style. Once that was finished the whole project was quickly done shorter than I anticipated, and the only thing left to do was figure out what I should use the box piece for. It was too large to be a signature which wouldn't have been a big deal, as I could've gone back to the first step and fix the right dimensions for that. But I'm finicky and like my character signatures to be dedicated to that specific character, so it only felt right that this at least be used for a template.

So with a gradient added to help the image blend into the post, all that was left was to take an older coding template like before, and alter the elements needed to fit the template with the picture. Admittedly it was a fun piece of work to craft, and I kinda has me wanting to do more templates like this for others as well. I might come to try a couple new styles with the coding, see if I can get a few different results for variety also. Anybody interested in getting one?You should drop a request form in the workshop thread I've got going, I'd love to throw some more boxcodes together for any interested players.

Code: Select all

[style=max-width: 560px; background-color: #171717; padding:30px; margin: auto; box-shadow: 0px 0px 5px 0px #000000; font-size: 14px; color: #bababa;][align=center][font size=130][b]Workshop Request[/b][/font][/align]
[b]Character Name:[/b] Self explanatory
[b]Race:[/b] Self explanatory
[b]Model/Face Claim Name:[/b] Who/what is your model based off of
[b]Interested In:[/b] Avatar, Boxcode, or Signature
[b]Theme:[/b] Something dark and sinister? Pure and hopeful? Details!
[b]Style:[/b] Any sort of particular desire in coding or format? Boxcodes can range from 540x300 to 600x350, and trust me size... does matter.
[b]Links To Favorite Pictures:[/b] Share links to the images here please.
[b]Important Details:[/b] Anything I should be aware of? Different color eyes? Textures on the skin?[/style]

[Patrick]

Love this band, love their music. Check. Them. Out. That is all.

[Patrick]

One of my favorite bands I listened to during my high school years, were in fact these guys right here. Poets of the Fall is a great band and they're music is beautiful in a lot of ways, particularly when you listen to gems like this one down below. I really do suggest looking them up ang giving them a listen to sometime, that is if you haven't heard of them of course.

[Patrick]

So I had a camping trip recently and believe it or not it was quite fun, I stayed out by a lake for five days and pretty much baked in the sun. Got some nice tans on my arms, shins, and face as well sunburns (Skin cancer yay!) which are already healing nicely. I don't burn so easily as others do so when it happens I tend to just have a few red spots that peel after several days, which we got back on sunday night which was the 16 I believe... so another yay to skin peeling!

Seriously though I did enjoy myself even during the confusing parts of the trip, since it was more or less a 'date' with somebody I've started to like. I mean its great to get out and live every once in a while, but quite honestly I suck big time at social graces and shit. So rather than bore everyone to death with that I think I'll just end that topic now, and jump to the main one that I wanted to address.

Since I came back I've been slow at regaining momentum, season change is upon us so I'm kicking myself to hurry up and get things done. So far Patrick is at a decent spot but Kayleigh definitely needs more love from me, since I haven't done much for her this season other than set up her starting point and gone from there. My attention for writing has been sporadic but is getting more driven once more, so naturally replies will come quicker now that I'm getting back lost momentum. I've been pretty steady with writing and even getting back into the swing of reviewing, oddly, to try and help add to the inspiration.

So that's my brief update on things, naturally I've more rambles to add but I think I'll save that for a later date. Think on them before I actually indulge in them. Cheers if you read this and found any of it at least mildly entertaining.

[Patrick]

So I recently had to download an entirely different photoshop app as my CS 5 had continuously acted up, and therefore became nothing more than a nuisance to try and use anymore. Pash had suggested to me, and I owe thanks for this, an app called Affinity; and before I go into a full on rant I'm just gonna say it's very different. At first a bit intimidating as I poked around with the tools and whatnot, but after I sat down and started on tutorial vids, I slowly began to learn a few new things in the process. So a big hearty thanks to Pash for suggesting this, as I probably wouldn't have considered it otherwise!

First off lemme just rant about the one thing I've never been able to comprehend. Masking. Layer masking and clipping masking are things I've never, ever, eeeeever have been able to grasp. Something about the whole process just eluded me entirely, starting the tutorials though has led me to understand them better naturally. And to top it off I'm already blooming with ideas for potential templates I can put together later, since I've been trying to do so miserably with the app ever since I got it. It's more or less due to inexperience with the application itself, but giving the steady learning process I've got going on, I'll likely have a new template or two ready in due time. I know I owe a couple to someone who requested them, so just be patient a lil' bit longer and you'll have a few nice templates ready.

That said I also need to update this template, because as we all know I've started another character or two... I'm just full of them apparently. That's actually been what my first attempt is that particular template, but I'm real finicky and when I'm not happy about a template, I make sure to figure out what I need to do in order to change that. So... patience. That's all I need is to be patient and learn, then I'll have this figured out well enough. Who knows I might actually tinker with a couple of coding styles, see how that pans out in the long run as well.

[Patrick]

So I'm not too thrilled about the avatar dimensions as they look way too smaller, and blurred, when I look at them afterwards. Maybe I'm just unaccustomed to the final outlook of the product, but overall I think it'll do for the time being. I'm getting the hang of it I think, though it's a trial and error process every time I use the app.

[Patrick]

Over the past week my activity severely diminished for various reasons, mainly though its been due to the fact I have a very crippling depression at times. Those that read this will no doubt understand, you reach a breaking point in your life where you just want to stop. You go so long feeling numb towards the world and the reality waiting you isn't where you want to be, so you struggle vainly trying to hope that something will change sooner or later. You feel what little effort you can spare is useless and only creates a struggle, and therefore slip into a state of being where you no longer want to do a thing.

That's how I've felt this past week, and it's been a theme that reoccurs on occasion actually. Chronic depression has always been something I've lived with, although haven't been 'officially' diagnosed with, and it's one of the major factors that makes living happily very difficult. And for the past two years I've felt nothing but a numbness to the world, probably because of how much had been lost in such a short span of the two years. In less than two months I lost my own childhood cousin to suicide, and then my father to a sudden heart failure not long afterwards. It was when that happened this whole feeling numb business started, but from then on I literally felt everything in life had spiraled beyond my control.

Naturally last year, 2016, wasn't the best year for anybody. A lot of good people were lost, and a lot went down within just that one year. After dealing with that and what's gone on this past year, living with no job for several months, I've had too much time to mope on things like this. It hasn't been entirely healthy for me and I know that, the thing is though I've literally reached that point in life where I don't know what to do. I'm only 24 years old, moved far away from the only place I've grown up in, made zero close friends ever since I got up here, and have been through plenty of bullshit drama in RL in the span of two years I've lived here in the midwest. Sometimes I miss home due to the people I left there, and it actually gets enough to where I even want to go back in some instances.

The majority of the time though is left dealing with the fact I'm still here, feeling stuck in a place I thought would've been better for me. The transition wasn't easy when I moved here to begin with, which is probably all the more reason why I'm struggling to put myself out there more. So my point in sharing this post? Well I thought people should know the reason, as to why my activity had suddenly diminished so rapidly on such short notice. It's because personally I'm struggling with myself, having to push forward and deal with things I don't want to. I have a typical way of coping with reality usually, but after a little while with some reassurance from people that actually seem to care; I start to regain the loose confidence I barely had. That said the continuation of pushing onward still remains hard, mostly because deep down I just want to give up.

Just stop putting in what energy I have left and curl up alone sometimes, hopeful that the never ending day finally seems to end. That's how most days seem to me lately, all blurred into one never ending day. I know typically people would suggest counseling, or just surrounding yourself with people you feel care about you. I've stuck to the latter thus far and it's made it a little easier, but the former option is something I've only considered from time to time. That said I push on because I have people I still care about, and no matter how bad I feel like I want to just stop and give up; I remind myself that sooner or later it'll get easier. Not specifically better but just easier, so long as I handle each day with a step at a time.

[Lena]

I love you, baby. Just you wait - Lena's gonna make it all better.

(You know I'm here for you any time, love.)